Few Days Later.
|August 20th|
Sarai' Morgan
"That was cute." Mel commented as I told her about the date I went on with Jah and the girls. "Yeah, it was nice. But now to the fucked up news..." I trailed off as I casually came out of my robe. Today was the day of Jabri's art show and also the weekend for 'girls day' which was tomorrow. I told him I had to pull some extra hours so I couldn't make it. I was going to surprise him though. He didn't know it but I had our night planned out. I was so happy that 'girls day' came because I haven't been to the spa in a couple of months. It was definitely overdue.
"Oh shit, I don't like the sound of that. Does it involve Q's ass?" Mel rolled her eyes in disapproval. "Yes. Mel, he came out of the dark like a thief in the night! He had this strange look in his eyes and he never took them off me." A weird energy came over me as I talked about it. Q was definitely out of his mind. I knew his behaviors when he was off his meds but that look was something I'd never seen before. Not to mention, his next move was always unpredictable. I don't know what he had planned but I was not feeling it.
"Daddy Morgan knows, right? Rai' this could be some serious shit." Mel insisted. "He's gonna kill him. I can't stand him but Daddy killing him would be on my conscious. Jabri hit him! Just punched him dead in his face, he didn't even look at him until then." I rambled as I recalled the scene. "His eyes were set on me and it creeped me the hell out." I frowned. I had been trying to block out the fact that Q was back in town. Everything was going just fine until he showed up.
"I know this babe but listen, he's unstable. Where are his parents? Have you talked to them?" She asked. Shaking my head 'no' I sat on the bed and moisturized my legs. "I'm gonna drop by today, probably after the art show. I haven't talked to them since everything happened. I just want him to leave me the hell alone." I fussed. "If Daddy Morgan handles him then you won't have to worry about him, that's all I'm saying." She shrugged. "I don't want any drama, from anyone. I just want to move on with my life. I never thought this would happen, why is this happening?" I began to get emotional. Mel came over to my side and wiped my tears.
"I don't know Rai', I really don't. He's just in a bad place right now and he's capable of anything. Have you told Jabri what's happening?" She asked. "No...not yet. I plan to tell him everything tonight. It's just so hard to talk about, you know? This is crazy." I said to myself. Never would I have thought that my best friend; someone I trusted with my life, would betray me. He always promised to never hurt me no matter the circumstance. Now I see that he was speaking more so about physical rather than emotional hurt. He had definitely scarred me with that one.
"It is." She agreed with a sigh. "But you wipe your face and continue to get ready so that you can go support your man. He's here to protect you too Rai', remember that. That's why he needs to know about Q. The longer you wait the worse it'll get..." She advised before she stood. I took a deep breath and nodded, wiping my face. "There she goes." Mel smiled at me. "Here I am." I reassured her and myself. Right now was not the time to be stressing over Q and his bullshit. I would cross that bridge when I got there.
"Where are you going?" I wondered as I walked over to my closet to get my clothes. "Antonio is surprising me tonight...he didn't say. I'm excited though! Everything's been going great!" She blushed happily. "That's great! So this is a long term thing?" I smirked. "So far, so good. He wants me to meet his girls but I want to wait a while longer. They're 8 and 10 years old...that's big." She stated which made me think about Lex. Lex was still fairly small so she didn't understand the dynamic between Jah and her mom. As for Antonio's kids, they were older so I could understand her hesitance.
"Is the mom around?" I asked. "Yeah, but she's a petty bitch. The 'if you move on, you can't see your kids' type of petty. I told him I don't do drama but I'll beat a bitch ass. I'm not trying to play mommy to no one's kids. He respects my decision to wait." She told me. "Jabri was nervous about telling me but I'm glad that he did. He's such a kid's dad." I smiled to myself just thinking about how good he is with children. He would definitely make a great father one day. "I hear baby monitors in the futureeee!" Mel sang. "No time soon and not before a ring." I sternly stated. I wanted to be a wife before I became a mother and that's final. We hadn't discussed future plans together for us to be thinking about kids.
Sure, things were going fine now but how can we be sure that this is it?
3 months was still pretty early in a relationship to be discussing kids and marriage. I wasn't in a rush to be married either but I do prefer a ring before a baby bottle. "I know babe. You've been saying this since you were little. No worries, that day will come when it's time." Mel smiled as she grabbed her things to leave. "I'm gonna get out of here, okay? Call me if you need me! Enjoy the art show!" We hugged and said our goodbyes before she left. Jabri had crossed my mind so I decided to shoot him a text. I knew that he was nervous and probably down about me 'not being able to make it', so I sent him some words of encouragement.
Delivered: Morning babe 🥰. I know I can't make it today BUT you'll do great! Just remember to be yourself and relax. Own your work 😘 I'll call you as soon as I get a break.
iMessage from Jah☺️😻: thanks mama 😘 appreciate it. I'ma be waiting for that call too.
Delivered: I know you will 😘
When he didn't reply, I locked my phone and proceeded to get dressed. Soon enough, I was on my way out.
—
I arrived just in time for the art show. People were still piling in as I entered, trying to be as low key as possible. I wore a pair of my Chanel shades in attempt to be incognito for a while. Jabri spotted me from a mile away so hopefully with my shades, I could hide. My ass would give me away though, dammit. In Jah's words, 'Ya ass give you up ma, I know that walk from anywhere'. Just when I thought that being thick was a blessing, tuh.
I listened to the host speak as I slithered inside amongst the rest of the crowd. Instead of going straight to Jah, I actually took the time to analyze other paintings. There were so many different styles and messages. Abstract, realism, art deco, contemporary art etc. Little fact about me was that I loved art museums. I haven't been to one in a while but I loved every visit. I appreciated the true meaning and love for the art. "Hello." A fairly tall man spoke as I approached his painting. He looked to be in his mid 30's, brown skinned with a low cut. "Hi." I politely spoke back. He stepped around to my side, giving me the space to admire his work.
"I'm curious to know your thoughts..."The guy whose name I didn't yet know spoke after a few moments of silence. I quickly glanced at his name tag to catch it but his hand was already out to greet me. "Lou...uh short for Louis." He nervously chuckled under my stare. "Renee'." I thought quick on my feet. He didn't need to know my real name, did he? "My thoughts...it reminds me of a day in New York City." I spoke plainly. "Is that a good thing or bad thing?" He bit the corner of his lip with a nervous expression. "It's real...relatable. New York is full of tall buildings and taxi cabs." I smiled a little to ease his nerves.
"Indeed. I've been here my whole life and this was a reoccurring scene. It also represents where I got my first start...the streets of New York. I discovered my love for painting when I was homeless. It was also how I kept food in my stomach." He explained as I nodded to show him that I was listening. "You did pretty good for yourself, Louis. This is an image of everyday life here. Do you know how hard it is to catch a cab?" I joked but I was also serious. He chuckled as he scratched the side of his face. "Oh I have an idea." He responded with humor.
"It's simple but nice." I concluded. "Uh, thank you?" He sounded unsure. "How long have you been into art?" I made more small talk, occasionally glancing around for Jah's eyes. I didn't want him to catch me off guard, that was my whole purpose of being here. "I've always loved to see it but actually making it a thing for me? I was about 23 but I started to take it seriously around 27. I have a small rep on the streets but I wanted more...that's why I'm here." He briefed me. "Now look at where you are. You never gave up on your dream, even when you didn't take it seriously." I smiled. "Yeah, it was the best decision I've ever made. Do you come to shows often?" He wondered. "Not as much as I would like to but I enjoy exhibits." I told him. " Cool. Are you looking to buy?" He asked as I declined nicely. "Just here to observe." I giggled. "Nothing wrong with that I suppose. Maybe we can catch a show together one day?" He smiled with hope.
"Uh, actually...I'm here to support my boyfriend. Right...over there." I pointed once I spotted Jabri who was speaking to a group of 3 people. He didn't look nervous at all. He was good at masking it just like I was though, so I knew that he was internally nervous. "Oh, my apologies." He apologized as he stepped to the opposite side of me. "I hope I didn't come on too strong..." He avoided eye contact. Not like he could see my eyes anyway, my shades were still over them. "No, it's fine. You were really polite." I giggled a little and reached my hand out to say my goodbyes. "Nice to meet you Louis. Keep up the good work." I encouraged before making my way to the next painting.
—
"Excuse me, you're Jabri right?" I removed my shades from my eyes, acting as if I didn't know him. He started to smile but stayed in character. "That's me. I didn't catch ya name though?" His brow came together as he pointed at me. "Sarai'. I've heard about your work..." I continued. "You have? Good things I hope..." His eyes traveled over my frame before he made eye contact again. "Maybe...maybe not." I smirked as I took in his painting. This piece was deep. "Sarai' is such a pretty name...uncommon." He complimented. "Well, I'm not your average woman. I'd like to think of myself as a prize. Not to toot my own horn but I'm that bitch." I casually stated as he made a surprised face. "Ain't no thing, I love a woman that knows her worth." Although we were 'role playing' I felt that he was being subliminal. That of course had me smiling ear to ear.
"Do you now?" I hummed as we stole glances at each other. "I do. It shows her strength as a woman...her nature. You know what you want and you go for it. Not only that but you don't put up with no bullshit-excuse my language." He excused himself. "Well aren't you respectful..." I joked making him chuckle. "I try to be. You here alone?" He looked around the room. "I am. Why do you ask, Jabri?" I looked at him. "Just making sure I'on gotta knock a nigga out for taking his lady." He said ever so confidently. "Who said I was single?" I challenged. "You not?" He shot back quickly. "Not even the slightest bit." I put on a fake pout as I squeezed my thumb and index finger together, leaving a small slit between the two. "Damn. So I am gon' have to knock a nigga out when you leave with me?" He sucked his teeth. "Afraid so." I laughed before walking into his arms. He held me tight with a squeeze before kissing my lips gently. "I thought you couldn't make it?" He cheesed. "I wanted to surprise you. Did it work?" I smiled up at him as I bit my lip a little.
He pecked my lips again and smiled. "Hell yeah. I'm happy you came, guess what?" He quizzed excitedly. "Hm?" I hummed. "I got 3 offers." He cheesed. "Really?! That's good! Nice bids?" I guessed. "Hell yeah! I didn't even know how much I was letting it go for but they offering 300! For a painting?! That's crazy." He rubbed his head in a humble disbelief. "That's not really a lot but just to know somebody willing to pay that much for some shit I created is crazy." He shook his head. "See, I told you that it would work out. Just had to start somewhere." I kissed him again. "This my favorite piece so far...I wasn't gon' sell it at first." He zoned out a little, looking at it. It was the 'paranoia' piece he mentioned the other day. "What changed your mind?" I wondered as he shrugged.
"The message I guess...other people might feel the same shit. And it's nice as hell so I knew it would get noticed. This the best piece I ever made off paper. I doodle alotta shit but I'on make everything a piece. This was a good pick." He stroked his own ego humbly. I'm glad that he was being optimistic about the whole thing. He was really bummed about his first show even though he tried to brush it off. He's an easily irritable person and was always quick to say 'fuck it all' and go back to his old ways. That's why I tried to be supportive, to help keep his head on straight.
"I am so proud of you babe, this is great!" I wrapped my arms around him as he held me. "Thanks mama. So you really gotta go in or no?" He asked more seriously. "No. It's the weekend babe, I don't usually work unless I'm doing overtime. Or a shift pick up. What else do you have planned today?" I asked him. "Gotta make a couple stops...but I wanna chill with you." He told me. "And you will because guess what?" I smirked a little, rubbing his scruffy beard. It wasn't full just yet but it was coming in.
"Wassup?" He looked down at me. "I'm coming over to cook for you annnnnd I might even stay the night." I teased. "Oh nah, you staying. I get to have you to myself all night, it's lit." He boasted. "Did I set myself up?" I questioned nervously. He did his signature side smirk as he looked at me. "Maybe...maybe not." He mocked my words from a few minutes ago. "Oh my Lord." I palmed my face briefly. "Oh ya Lord." He laughed. "Stop, it's not funny." I pouted. "It is. That's what ya cheating ass get too. You knew you was wrong for seducing a nigga." He called me out once again. "You aren't gonna let me live that down are you?" I rolled my eyes playfully. "Nah, you living up to it tonight though." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Real shit, I'm happy you showed up. Lemme finish up right quick then we can dip." He gave me another hug and kiss before letting me go. "Actually babe, I have a few runs to make myself. I'll just meet you at your place."I told him. He looked at me skeptically before nodding slowly. "Yeah...that's cool. You good though?" He asked me. I nodded. "Yes babe, I'm fine. I have to get all the ingredients for dinner too, so I'll be there around 8:30." I let him know. "Aight mama. Hit me when you on ya way." We shared more kisses before we parted ways.
—
Cole Residence
Mrs. Cole
The silence in the house reminded me of a time when I was at my worst. Quincy and I hadn't always done the right thing when it came to Quenton. He was a troubled child. From the time he realized he had feet and started to walk, he had been into everything. It was not that we loved him any less but he did make it hard to believe anything that came from his mouth. I did everything in my power to protect my son from harm. How could he forget what I had done for him? All of the trouble he got into, I got him out of, not anyone else. To know that he wanted nothing to do with me crushed my dear heart. I just couldn't believe it.
Quenton was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was just 9 years old. We were told by doctors that it was uncommon because it usually occurred around teenage-adult years. It didn't come as a surprise to us though because Quincy too had bipolar disorder. Quincy's father was also mentally ill which led to his suicide when Quincy was 20 years old. It was like a cycle that couldn't be broken. Since I've been with Quincy I've endured a lot of pain. Verbally, emotionally, and most times physically. Quenton was just like him.
The old him.
It's been a couple of years since Quincy had physically hurt me but he would occasionally abuse me verbally. As of late the temperature of our marriage had been high because of Quenton. Quincy blamed me for this whole thing which had me questioning my motherly skills. Had I not been a good mother to Quenton? Did I not give him enough love and nurture him properly?
Sure I covered up his faults but wouldn't any mother do that for her child? It wasn't that far fetched. Quenton knew right from wrong, we taught him that well. But he did have the tendency to use his disorder to his advantage. It always seemed to work in his favor too, even when I did scold him about it. I knew that he wasn't himself during the mania no matter how believable it seemed. He wasn't evil, he wasn't a monster. In this particular case he let his weakness get the best of him, which resulted in a terrible mistake. He told me that he didn't mean to do it, that it was a misunderstanding. As his mother, I took my son's word. But maybe that was the wrong thing to do...
"You're drinking..."Babygirl's voice startled me. Wiping my eyes, I fixed my blouse and shook my head. "Just wine, one glass." I made it known. I had been sober for 12 years and it felt amazing. I wasn't going to let this little mishap cause me to relapse. Her heels clicked against the marble floors as she entered the kitchen. I stood, immediately pulling her into a tight hug when she approached me. I held on for a little while as tears fell from my eyes. She rubbed my back and squeezed me just as tight. That made me feel good. Sarai' was like a daughter to me and nothing would change that. "You're mad at me aren't you?" I sniffled as I took my seat again. She grabbed a glass and helped herself to some wine before sitting across from me.
"I'm upset...disappointed. How could you know this and not tell me? Not tell the police Ma? This is a serious matter. I am beyond devastated. I am sick to my stomach behind this..." Her voice cracked as she vented her frustrations to me. I nodded in understanding as tears rained from my eyes again. Quenton has done a lot of things but this took the cake. We were all hurting behind this, in many ways, for many reasons. "I know Babygirl, and I am deeply sorry for that. I-I just made a promise to him...he wanted to tell you himself. He said it was just a big misunderstanding." We cried together. "He lied to me Ma, he lied to all of us. I just can't believe this...this is crazy." She shook her head as she wiped her face. "What if it was me?" Her voice came out in a quiet whisper. Hearing her say that instantly caught my attention.
"Wh-What?" I stuttered. "Me. What if he got tired of waiting for me and took it like he did Jordyn's? No matter their relationship, when someone tells you no, that's just it. I can't even look at him the same! He's broken that trust...I don't even know who he is anymore. He's never kept anything from me." She rambled as she controlled her breathing. I didn't speak right away so that I could give her the space to breathe. I didn't want my baby to have a panic attack. After a few short minutes she was back to her normal state.
"...Quenton was sexually abused as a child by the old nanny. The first time he told me, I brushed it off. Just thought that he was lying to get attention...but it continued to happen. His behavior changed drastically around 10-11 years old. I-I should have looked into it...I should have listened." I became frustrated with myself. "Ma, it's not your fault. Quenton knew that what he did was wrong. He was trying to manipulate the situation like he always does. This isn't on anyone else but him." She tried to get through to me. "I failed him...now look at what he's become. He hates me. He hates me and his father."I cried. The tears just wouldn't stop falling. I was a pretty strong woman but when it came to my children, my emotions ran high. This whole situation was just too touchy. And although I knew that my son deserved to be in jail, I just couldn't find it in my heart to put him there.
"You know that he's back?" She asked. I looked at her. "In New York?" I was confused. How did he get back? Why did he come back? She nodded and closed her eyes briefly with a sigh. "He's not stable at all Ma. He had this crazy look in his eyes...he needs to go away." She told me. "What did he say? Did he hurt you?" I panicked. "No, but he looked like he wanted to. You know Daddy knows about what he's done...and he's not a fan. His word is his word...Quenton must stay away from me." She was stern as I nodded in understanding. I knew of Kofi's work and I dared not to test his patience. Although we're family, there were certain codes that couldn't be broken. When Kofi was in town, he stopped by and talked to both Quincy and I. He let us know exactly what was on his mind too. Quincy wasn't too happy about how he came across, but I understood. That didn't necessarily mean I wanted him to hurt my son. But I had to respect his wishes. Which is why Quenton had to stay away from the twins.
"Babygirl, I'm so sorry." I walked over to hug her again, rubbing her back. "Believe me, even though I kept quiet about this, I am just as hurt and disappointed as you are." I genuinely confessed. "This is a tough pill to swallow for all of us." I assured her. To others looking in it may seem strange to have an ounce of sympathy or care for Quenton due to his actions. Many may believe that he should rot in a cell; which isn't a reach, but at the same time he was my blood. "I know." She cleared her throat and smoothed out her skirt. "It's just...too much. Too many emotions behind all of this. I'm finally putting myself first and it hurts like hell because I still feel obligated to be there for him. 24 years of friendship...of love...gone down the drain." Her voice was more angry now as she went on a bit of a rant. There were no tears just anger.
"I understand your pain Babygirl. I am angry too. I am also torn...seeing my son hit rock bottom is mortifying. We lost control the minute we put him on the back burner. Oh God, I need to call his psychiatrist." I remembered I had Mr. Eugene's number. "Yes, you do. He's off...and honestly I'm scared Ma. What if he tries to hurt me?"Her eyes grew wide. "Babygirl, Quenton would never hurt you okay? He loves you too much. It's different with you...he's made that clear. Even when telling me what he did, his only concern was you. And what you would think of him. He never wanted to hurt you in any way, he always promised to protect you." I assured her. Quenton was a lot of things and deeply in love with Sarai' was one of them. Since kids, he had been scaring away any guy that looked her way. He loved hard but he raged even harder.
"The only thing he didn't protect me from was him." That comment made the room stiff. It was a deep cut to my heart but it was a honest one. Quenton did everything but show up for himself when it came to Babygirl. He made broken promises and created false hope. Just like him, she too wished that they could've became something. We all did. Quenton was too childish to step up and we always told him that she wouldn't wait forever. Now that this has happened there is no chance in hell for a future together, and I don't blame her.
"No matter what becomes of this Babygirl, I want you to know that Quincy and I will always love you. We will never turn our backs on you alright?" We shared a small smile before embracing each other again. I kissed her cheek and made sure that she was together after our 'boo hoo' session. "I love you Ma. I have to get going though." She said her goodbyes.
I should really make that call to Eugene now.
—
Jabri Hampton
"Baby that's so good to hear, I'm proud of you." Moms congratulated me over the phone. I was telling her how I sold my first piece at the art show today. A nigga was happy as hell, no lie. Not only did my buyer double up on the price but I got mad connects for future projects. Companies, organizations and personal connects. My life changed a lot man. To be honest, I ain't think this shit was gon' workout but I'm so glad that it did. It was only the beginning but shit was moving in the right direction.
"Yeah, me too Ma. I dropped off some rent money too. You good for next month." I told her. She chuckled and I could just imagine her shaking her head at me. "Boy, we are fine. Bills are fine. You keep your money and spend it how you want." She told me. "I'ma do that but y'all gon' be straight first. Jay too." I let her know. Any money that I got was ours as far as I'm concerned. It was always like that. Even when I was in the trap, whatever money I got, I made sure to stash it for moms. She used to fuss about taking 'dirty money' but she took it anyway because she knew it was from the heart. I always said if I robbed a bank, my moms would let me hide the money in her spot. That was real shit.
After I left the show, I pulled up on Pops then headed to see Mr. G. I started working with the kids last week and it was a work in progress. Sometimes they would show up, other times they wouldn't. And I spent most of practice breaking up fights and shit. They had so much damn energy to fight but would be mad tired doing drill time. Being around the kids again made me think about Corey. I still haven't talked to his ass yet, he dubbing all my calls and texts. Even though I was mad at him, I still wanted what was best for him. My reaction might'a scared him away for good and that was fucking with me. I felt like I owed him the life he shoulda had. His father looked out for me so outta respect and love, I had to do the same.
"JUICE?! My nigga wassup?" I pulled up in my old hood on Jinx. He used to run with me back in the G. He was still out here in the streets so I'm sure he can give me some information. "Sup witchu Jinx?" I greeted him with dap. "Ain't shit, a lil dry today. What you doing out here? Saw ya art shit on the gram, shit tough you heard?" He complimented as I gave him a nod. "I ain't come here to talk about art my nigga, I'm looking for Mookie." I got straight to it. I was gon' beat this nigga ass, on moms. He knew I would find out about him bringing Corey in on this crip shit. What typa grown ass man want to see a young man ruin his life? He was a bozo for that.
"Nah, he ain't been around." He told me. "Corey...you seen him?" I asked. "Like a week ago...he was with them lil niggas that be popping shit in his hood. What's good with him?" He wondered. "Tell Mookie I'm around." I disregarded his nosey ass question. I put the truck in drive and pulled off, composing a message.
Delivered: Yo, I know you gotta funky ass attitude but understand that I was doing what's best for you. I'on wanna see you locked up or dead Corey. Real shit, hit me back yo.
After sending that, I dialed Rai's number. "Hey babe." She answered after a few minutes. "You sound busy..." I inquired with a light smile. "I'm driving. Everything okay?" She asked. "Yeah, I'm straight." I sighed a little. "Why the sigh?" She questioned. "Just expected to find Corey...that all. I sent him a message." I told her. "Aw babe, he'll come around. Give him his space first, he'll realize that you meant good soon." She advised. I smiled to myself. Damn, I might love this girl. She knew exactly what to say and when to say it. That's why I been turning to her lately. When I'm irritated or in a bad mood, I look to her. The only other woman on earth who got the same treatment was my moms. That's how I knew I was falling hard.
"Babe, did you hear me?" I snapped outta my thoughts. "Huh? Yeah, yeah. I hear you. You almost done?" I switched the phone to my left hand and turned the corner with my right. "Yes, I'll be quick. You miss me already?" I could feel her smiling through the phone. I chuckled. "A lil bit...I just don't want you to change ya mind." I admitted. Thankfully, things were going good but what happened the other night was heavy on my mind. I needed to know what it was about and what I could do to protect her. I was over protective of the ones I loved, especially the women. If there was a problem, I wanted to be the one to fix it. To show her how much she meant to me.
"I won't. I promise." Hearing her say that made me smile. "Cool. I'ma send you the address. See you in a few mama." We hung up. I sent her the address to my crib and headed home. Today was a good day and my night was gon' be even better.
—
Quenton Cole
"You look like shit." Ty laughed as I opened my apartment door for him. "Fuck you." I gritted as I slammed the door. I haven't slept in 72 hours. Being off my meds was causing the lack of sleep. Not only that but I was irritated to the max. "Yo, you alright?" Ty looked at me weirdly as I paced a little, scratching my chin. Closing my eyes, I took a minute of silence to calm my head. Nausea was taking a toll on me too. "I'm fine. Do you have what I need?" I finally sat. "Nah man. Nobody go by the name Jah on the streets." I sucked my teeth upon hearing that. Shooting up from my seat, I grabbed the lamp from the table and threw it across the room.
"HOW DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOW?! HE DOES THE SAME SHIT AS YOU!" I raged. My adrenaline was pumping and all I could see was the image of him and Rai' in my head. Him kissing her...touching her. The way I used to...the way she loved. "Yoooo, chill the fuck out. Who is this dude? What did he do to you?" Ty tried to calm me. "That doesn't fucking matter! I need to know who he is! And why he's so fucking important that she couldn't fucking check on me! These last few months have been hell for me! She doesn't even know the fucking half!" I rambled as I began to pace again. My hands were shaky and I was dizzy but I couldn't calm down.
"What? Who?" He was confused. "Sarai'. She doesn't love me anymore...but I need her. I gotta get her back on my side before I go off the deep end Ty. I-I lost control...I lost control of everything. I need her to get my head on straight. I just need time...you just need time." I said to myself as I walked to the kitchen for a drink. "Man...I thought you weren't supposed to drink on your meds?" He commented. "I'm not on my meds." I simply responded. On or off my meds, I was gonna take a drink if I pleased.
"Shit man...you look bad. You don't need to be pushing product if you ain't stable Q, hell no." He shook his head. "I need the money." I hissed at him. "You can't even stay sober to sell. You my cuz and all that but if you fuck my money up, I'ma beat yo ass." He threatened. I wasn't moved, not even a little bit. "I'd like to see you try it." I responded as I downed more liquor. My mind was swarming in millions of thoughts; Rai' being at the forefront of each one. All I cared about was her. I loved her more than I loved myself. And knowing that she moved on truly hurt my heart.
"You starting small man. Pills for now." He pulled a baggy from his pocket as he stood. He came into the kitchen and dropped it on the island in front of me. "Tomorrow." He told me. I silently nodded and told him to leave. I had to figure out how I was gonna get to Rai'. I couldn't go to her directly because she wouldn't listen. Hell, she would probably call her dad, and I didn't need those problems. I didn't want to hurt her...I would never hurt her. I just wanted her to listen.I never told Sarai' about the abuse because I didn't want her to look at me funny. I didn't want that kind of vulnerability...that weakness to be revealed. We never kept secrets but those I had to keep...to protect what we had. But now I realized that keeping those secrets ruined everything. Out of all the things I've done, losing Sarai' was the only thing that truly broke me.
"Shit." I cussed. Wiping a stray tear, I finished my bottle and leaned on the counter, holding my side. Sharp pains had been shooting through my body randomly. I was feeling pain in every aspect possible but I didn't care because none of it was the answer to get Sarai' back. The only way to get her back was to give her a little more of me.
And that's exactly what I planned to do.