"𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮"
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“This is my reflection.”
Hoseok tries to close his eyes for the umpteenth times but failed. He kept on rewinding the same words uttered by Namjoon last two days. Hoseok couldn’t forget the hurt that glints in Namjoon's eyes. Whether it is Namjoon or Joon, he is still the same person, the same reflection. Hoseok wants to believe the saying but his heart hesitating for an unknown reason.
“So how’s the host?”
Hoseok almost fell from his chair when the sudden interception cut through his reverie. He cursed when he heard the laugh and he shoots a deadly glare towards his colleague, Junmyeon. The tall male now standing in front of him, crossed his arms to his chest.
“You scared the shit out of me, Junmyeon!” spat Hoseok.
Junmyeon laughed again. “Sorry. But don’t you worry Hoseok. This is the cardiovascular department. We have plenty of experts here to help you if you have a heart attack…”
Hoseok chided at the absurd annotation. “Haha, so funny!” he said cynically while rolling his eyes. He watched the latter male pulled out the chair in front of him and sits on it. Eyes still on Hoseok.
“Tell me about your visit to the club, Hoseok!” pursued Junmyeon a little bit impatient. He had been waiting for the male to throw a tantrum when he met with him but nothing happened. Junmyeon was confused and wondering why Hoseok looks so calm yet disturbed since the visit.
Hoseok took a breather, feigned writing something in his notebook – ignoring Junmyeon question. He pretends that he is busy doing something so that Junmyeon will stop pestering him about the same issues again.
Junmyeon eyebrows knitted together in a quizzical look. Hoseok is avoiding his demand. The male purposely doing that. Junmyeon knew there must be something happen between Hoseok and Namjoon. Wait! Did he say something bad to the host?
“Tell me what happens between you and Namjoon, Hoseok…”
Hoseok was startled at the stern voice emitted by Junmyeon. When he averted his eyes towards the male, Hoseok immediately got goosebumps at the murderous stare. This is the first time he saw the serious face of Junmyeon. Hoseok gulped in nervousness.
“Did you say something to him? Something unpleasant?” accused Junmyeon after he saw how Hoseok reacted to his questions just now.
Hoseok boring his eyes towards Junmyeon. He didn’t like the tone used by Junmyeon just now. In fact, he feels angered that the male seems too protective towards the host – his high school junior. What kind of relationship they have that Junmyeon being agitated like this? Hoseok is displeased with his own thoughts.
“Why? You’re afraid that I’d belittled him? Insulting him for his job? Are you expecting that from me, Junmyeon?” asked Hoseok with an accusatory tone. Face was tight, holding his anger.
Junmyeon didn’t flinch at the intimidating voice by Hoseok. “Im just asking, no need to be triggered like that. Unless…”
“No, I don’t Junmyeon! I didn’t say something nasty to him. Satisfied?” intercepts Hoseok, couldn’t hold his rage at the provocation.
Junmyeon scoffs at the outburst. “Don’t be too sensitive. Are you on your PMS or what?”
Hoseok throws his pen towards the latter male, almost hit his handsome face if he didn’t dodge it. Thanks for his good reflection. Junmyeon whisper-yelled ‘yah’ at the said male but Hoseok just shrugs, didn’t feel guilty at all.
“What do you think about Namjoon?” Junmyeon further asked.
Hoseok raised one of his brows at the question. He stares at Junmyeon with a puzzled look. “What are you trying to indicate Junmyeon? What do you want to know exactly?” he asked.
Junmyeon sighed before he leaned on the chair. “Nothing. Just wondering about your meeting with Namjoon. Well, more on about your feelings actually. Did you feel attracted to him?” said Junmyeon, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.
Hoseok rolled his eyes in irritation at Junmyeon continuous teasing. “It’s just an ordinary meet up. We didn’t talk too much. The club was super noisy. I hate the intermission by the three hosts. And Namjoon missing for almost ten minutes during our session. That’s all. Are you clear enough?” told Hoseok and purposely strained over his voice at the last sentence.
Junmyeon let out a boisterous laugh at Hoseok's explanation. But he could sense the tension over the male when he told him about his session with Namjoon. He clearly hates his visit to the club. And having said that, Junmyeon did realize how his face’s muscle tighten each time he mentioned Namjoon's name.
“Did Namjoon said something that tickles off your ego, Hoseok?” asked Junmyeon with a smirk.
Hoseok was taken aback at the question, pausing for a second as he tried to remember the incident. This is my reflection. That simple words had to cause restless nights to him. Hoseok couldn’t forget every single word uttered by the male before they parted their ways that night. What is this uneasy feeling?
“What…what makes you said so?” he answered Junmyeon’s question with a question.
Junmyeon chuckles. “Knowing Namjoon all this while, he is quite sassy you know. Especially if someone tried to downgrade his job or his character for being a host. He's very conscious about what other people thought about him being a host…” explained Junmyeon.
Hoseok lips twitched into a smile. He remembered how Namjoon been refuting his perspectives about the job that day. He was clearly disapproved that Hoseok had the prejudice against him for being a host.
“Even his family couldn’t accept him as the host. They disowned him…”
Hoseok didn’t surprise at all at the statement. He already saw how Mr. Kim had slapped the said male and said that he is not his son. The old man even refused to accept his money for Seulgi's treatment. He can feel the hatred and anger of Mr. Kim that day.
“I don’t know whether you realized or not but Namjoon's sister been admitted here last week…” said Hoseok.
Junmyeon eyes become wide at the saying, gawking at Hoseok with a terrifying look. “What? Seulgi? How? For what?”
Hoseok released a sigh. “Coronary artery disease. She needs bypass surgery as soon as possible…”
Junmyeon was aw shuck at the news. He never knew that Seulgi was here. He had a busy working hour since last week that he might mislook new patient that’s not been assigned to him. But Seulgi? She's only fifteen. And why Namjoon didn’t tell him anything? He knew that Junmyeon works here.
But something had knocked Junmyeon sense all of sudden. He cocked his head towards Hoseok. “Wait! So you’ve met Namjoon already? I mean, you already knew him before you went to the club?”
Hoseok nods, answering Junmyeon questions. The tall doctor gasped. “I…didn’t expect to see him at the club, you know. When I have first met him here, he looks different. Looks more decent and ordinary young man…”
Junmyeon squinted his eyes towards Hoseok. “What are you trying to say Hoseok? That he is not decent? That Namjoon you first met and that Namjoon at the host club is a different person? You were being judgmental!”
Hoseok chided. “Oh please Junmyeon. I have a good reason for thinking like that. He's being a host is not like he is working at a convenience store! For God sake, that's a host club that offered someone to entertain you! What would you expect from someone that works at such place??” burst Hoseok.
Hoseok had enough of Junmyeon being overly protective towards the boy. He didn’t know why Junmyeon acted like that but Hoseok just didn’t give a damn anymore. Everyone has the right to give their opinion and no one can deprive him of using his right at this democracy country. Fullstop!
Junmyeon was about to retaliate against Hoseok when both pagers beeping and they bolted out from the office room. It’s an emergency case. It’s been their priority than the other thing. Their argument can be carried out later. Junmyeon had a job to do. To nag on Hoseok and knock some sense over his horse head.
Namjoon peeks through the glass door, watching Seulgi lying unconscious on her sickbed. He had been standing at the door for almost half an hour already. The visitation hour had already ended so he can’t enter the room to see Seulgi.
But he had begged the nurse to watch over his sister from the outside which the latter agreed. Maybe she was sympathetic at his situation since she’s the one that had witnessed how his father had thrown him away from the room last week. He is thankful for her kind heart.
Namjoon eyes welled up in tears when he saw his mother's silhouette at the bedside, lying her head at the bed while holding Seulgi's hand – tiredly sleeping. He should be there to ease his mother's burden but he can’t.
His father hates him. He didn’t allow him to be near Seulgi or her room. That is why he’s sneakily coming to see Seulgi at night when his father already going back home. This is the only chances he has to see his little sister.
“What are you doing here?”
Namjoon jolted at the raspy voice. His whole body is shaking in fear before he slowly turned his body to see his father. His eyes were gawking at him – murderous. Namjoon gulped. He didn’t expect for his father to come to the hospital at this hour. He thought he was safe. But he was wrong. Totally wrong.
“Leave! I don’t want to see your face here!” he whispers yelled at his son – mercilessly. Didn’t want to create any chaos. It's almost midnight.
“Appa…please…”
“I said leave!”
Namjoon flinched. His glassy eyes staring at his father, asking for his compassion. He wanted to be here with Seulgi. She needs him. He is Seulgi's brother. Why he can't be with her when she needs him the most?
“I…I’ll leave...I won't come here again if you let me pay for the bills…” bargain Namjoon. He wouldn’t budge this time. Seulgi is his priority. He will accept his father’s wrath and hatred. He’s doing this for Seulgi.
“Mwo? How dare you?”
Namjoon stares his father's face. Didn’t even moved for an inch. Boring into his eyes, sternly. “I’m going to save Seulgi. If that filthy money is the only thing that can save her, I’m going to do it!”
Mr. Kim lifts his hand, trying to slap his insolent son’s face but he was flabbergasted when Namjoon had held his arm first. “You!!”
“You might have the gut to let your daughter die in front of your eyes. But not me. I’m her brother and I’m going to save her whether you like it or not!” said Namjoon, yanked his father’s hand down.
“I won’t let you Kim Namjoon! I won’t let that money…”
“Do you really hate me?”
Mr. Kim was taken aback at the sudden question. The hurtful tone in Namjoon's voice had makes Mr. Kim’s heart feel the lump overtook his conscience. He looks at his son's sorrow expression.
“Do you really hate me that you didn’t care about your dying daughter at all? Do you want to let your ego to kill your own daughter? Do you Mr. Kim?”
Mr. Kim gritted his teeth however he didn't find the right words to rebut Namjoon's allegation. He didn't have the answer to the question too. He was too engulfed in his own hatred that his mind couldn't think that rational of his own action. But he couldn't let Namjoon pay for the operation using the money that he earned as a host. That's dirty money!
"You might be able to sit here doing nothing and let Seulgi to suffer but not me, Mr. Kim. I don't care what you are thinking about me but I'm not going to sit still and watch my sister died just because of your self-centered attitude. You can hate me as long as you want but I will use that money to save your daughter..."
Having said that, Namjoon turned his body - leaves his father dumbfounded at his words. The tears that he had been holding just now, slowly flows through his eyelids and soaking wet his cheek. However, he was startled when he saw a familiar figure that had been watching the whole commotion with his father just now.
"Namjoon..."
...つづく