“Holy shit Sam, that’s like what, the fifth time you two have kissed?!”
I looked down at my hands, replaying the incident in my head over and over. I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened, and the more I thought about Megan having alone time with Nikki the more annoyed I got.
Why had I even kissed her in the first place?
I shook my head, “It’ll probably be the last, no doubt this time. She didn’t expect it but, I had no idea what else to do.”
Blair looked at me while sitting beside me on her bed, “Sam, I’m glad you kissed her, and you telling her to think about that when she was with Nikki? That was pure fucking genius.”
I smiled a little, liking the boasting Blair was giving me, but I knew it was still a mistake. Megan didn’t need someone like me in her life, she had enough issues as it was. The last thing she needed was some crazy nineteen year old student to worry about who had twice as many issues as her.
I sighed, running my hands through my hair, “I don’t know, I don’t know anything Blair. I don’t know what I’m feeling or why I got so upset. I don’t understand any of it…”
Blair took my hand, “I’m here for you, okay? And you can talk to me about whatever you’re feeling Sam, don’t think you have to hold it all in.”
I glanced down at my phone again, almost expecting Megan to text me and virtually yell at me through a phone. I expected some kind of repercussion almost immediately and the suspense was killing me.
Because I knew Megan wouldn’t just let this slide.
Then I heard the doorbell ring.
I looked up at Blair, “Anthony’s here?”
Blair nodded, running to the mirror and fixing herself up a bit while I smiled at her nervousness. She was anxious, which was a good thing obviously because she liked this guy a lot.
Blair looked at me, “Don’t say anything stupid.”
I nodded, “Yes ma’am.”
I followed her downstairs to the front door and waited patiently as she opened it, revealing a very tall and good looking guy waiting outside.
His dark complexion let me know he was at least partially Spanish decent, with his short styled black hair and dark brown eyes. I hadn’t pictured him like this, but thinking back to his full name I realized I should’ve known better.
He smiled, “Blair, I’m guessing this is Sam?”
Blair nodded as Anthony stuck out his hand, “I’m Anthony Garcia, but seriously call me Tony.”
I shook his hand, “Sam Carson.”
He nodded, “I remember you, from the party I mean, where I met Blair.”
He seemed nervous but I could see his eyes lingering on Blair, as if he was actually nervous around her, not me.
That was different, but a good different of course.
I stepped outside, allowing Blair to hug Tony and smile as she looked back at me, “I’ll text you later?”
I nodded, “Have fun tonight,” then I looked at Tony, “Have her home before midnight.”
He laughed, showing white teeth and the most dazzling smile any guy could possibly have. He nodded, “Yes ma’am. Nice meeting you.”
“You too.”
Then he escorted Blair to his car, opening the door for her I might add, and then they took off down the street. I was stunned, mostly because he was gorgeous and sweet and everything Blair needed. He was literally perfect for her, and I actually felt a sense of joy knowing Blair was happy with him.
I just hoped it would last.
I then received a text from Blair, Don’t forget, we’re still getting drunk tonight, so save me a beer.
I smiled happily, knowing she wasn’t planning to blow me off like I had with Emma, which I still felt bad about. I shouldn’t have done it, but it was over with and Blair had forgiven me and it was never going to happen again.
Maybe the thing I had with Emma wasn’t such a good idea anymore.
As I ran the roads I realized I had absolutely nothing to do, Emma wasn’t texting me back so I took it as she was staying late at practice. Megan was at a bar somewhere with Nikki and Blair was obviously on a date with the perfect guy…
I sighed heavily as I picked up my phone and called my last resort.
“Ross, hey…”
~ ~ ~ ~
“Sam, this is Katie and Cam.”
I waved, “Hey.”
The guy spoke, “Sup.”
I looked at the girl, taking in her interesting attire as I realized she was a bit skimpy with the clothes for a late November evening. I didn’t mind of course because she was hot, but I was just pointing out the facts.
Ross sat on the couch, “I’m guessing you were bored.”
I shrugged, “Or I just missed your beautiful face.”
He laughed, handing me the joint they were passing around, “Yea right Sam, here.”
I took it and inhaled, not really taking a second thought about it. I eyed the brunette across the room from me who was actually watching me, and I exhaled smoothly as I smiled at her.
Ross sighed, “You haven’t been asking me for jobs, starting to think my best is quitting on me.”
I leaned back into the couch, handing him his joint back, “I actually got a job down at Jinx.”
He looked at me, “Really?”
I nodded, “Yep, so if you guys ever want to drink without getting the pigs on you stop by. I start next week actually.”
Ross and Cam looked at each other before Cam spoke, “Not sure if a gay bar is my scene.”
I smiled, “You’d fit right in, Cam.”
He inhaled from the joint and passed it to Katie then, who was still eyeing me like she wasn’t sure about me. She locked eyes with me and inhaled, exhaling with no problems as she smiled, “I could always go for alcohol.”
I smiled, “Come by next Wednesday, it’s ladies night.”
Ross patted my back, “I’m glad you’ve found you a more stable job, actually. You’re one of the few I trust but, if you ever need some quick cash just call me up.”
I looked at Ross, “Are you heartbroken?”
He nodded, “A little, but I’ll live.”
I smiled as I leaned back into the couch, realizing I shouldn’t get too carried away tonight. I still had to drive home and stay awake for Blair tonight since she was coming over. I didn’t know when that would be but, I was hoping not anytime soon.
Because a very attractive girl was giving me a look that was hard to resist.
Ross spoke, “So Sam, word on the street is you have a girlfriend?”
Shit, just ruined my game.
I shrugged, “Yea I guess you can call her that.”
I felt guilty talking about her this way, mostly because Emma was a good girl that deserved some credit. Then again, honestly she had been quite selfish and annoying whenever I would tell her I was having a hard time.
So fuck it.
Katie responded, “You guess?”
I smiled, “I mean, it’s been kind of on edge but… you get what I’m saying.”
I was giving this girl all the signs she needed, and I was waiting to see if she wanted the same thing as me. She smiled playfully, as if she wasn’t affected by the whole girlfriend situation, and she shrugged, “Yea I understand.”
Ross spoke, “Sam’s not the one for relationships, she’s crazy fun though.”
I looked at Ross and smiled, almost forgetting about all the fucked up things I was thinking about. The weed was obviously helping me loosen up and forget, but I just couldn’t really push the thought about Megan out of my head.
Katie continued to eye me as we spoke as a group, giving me signals she was actually kind of digging me. I didn’t know her, and I didn’t know if she was just flirting or actually trying to get me alone, but I was hoping it was both.
I was in desperate need of something new to get my mind off of the old.
A few hours passed and Ross and Cam were passed out in the living room but I knew better, and I was going to have to leave soon.
I walked to the bathroom as I primped my hair in the mirror, wondering where Megan was right now.
Then I heard a knock at the door.
I opened it, seeing Katie leaning against the door frame. She smirked, “Just wondering if I could use the bathroom.”
I smiled, opening the door, “Yea I was just about to leave actually.”
But before I could exit she shut the door behind her, locking it as she leaned her back against it, staring at me. Her long brown hair and her seductive eyes made it hard to resist her but I tried my best, trying to remember I was with Emma…
Katie spoke, “You can stay if you want.”
I shrugged, smirking, “What if I don’t want?”
She smiled, walking coolly up to me and bringing her lips to my ear, “Then I’ll make you want to stay.”
Oh this girl was something else, luckily I did want to stay and let her do whatever she had wanted to do since I got here.
I kissed her, pushing her against the bathroom counter as I lifted her onto it. I felt her legs wrap around me as her arms enclosed around the back of my neck. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t help it anymore, I was a bad person, I did bad things, and I knew I would regret it later on.
But none of that mattered right now.
I pushed up her skirt, feeling her bare legs against my hands as I kissed along her neck. I couldn’t help but take notice to the perfume she was wearing… it smelt like…
Megan.
I closed my eyes tighter, pushing the thought of Megan out of my head as I focused on Katie. I kissed her lips, feeling her tongue aggressively control mine as she tangled her hand in my hair. There was nothing but lust here in this bathroom with us, and I knew after I would leave her I would feel disgusting and dirty.
But I fucked her anyway.
She moaned in my ear, “Oh fuck! Sam!”
I don’t know why, but I kept imagining Megan was doing this, so I blamed it on the perfume. I couldn’t stop thinking about the time we had almost had sex, and all the times we had kissed and how perfect it had felt.
And how I was wishing this was Megan and not Katie.
I felt her tighten around me as I kissed her lips, pushing harder as I felt her legs tighten around my waist, feeling her release around me.
She panted as she looked at me, “Holy shit.”
I smirked, “I have to go.”
She threw her head back as she smiled, “Of course you do.”
She was out of breath and panting but I knew I couldn’t stay. The longer I stayed the more guilty I would feel, and getting home and getting drunk would help that.
I just really needed to go.
I smiled, “Tell Ross I said thanks for letting me hang, will you?”
She nodded as she looked at me from the counter, “Maybe I’ll see you Wednesday?”
I shrugged, “Yea sure.”
Then I left, knowing that I had made yet another mistake, putting more guilt on my shoulders.
~ ~ ~ ~
“So you fucked her.”
I hung my head as I sipped my beer, “Yea…”
“You cheated.”
I nodded, “Yes Blair, I fucked up.”
She shook her head, “Sam, what the fuck…”
I sighed, realizing I didn’t care anymore, that’s the entire problem. I didn’t care about anyone’s feelings, and after the kiss with Megan today I was still all fucked up. I shouldn’t have kissed her, I should’ve just walked out and left but I didn’t. I had reacted the only way I knew how, and now it was literally tearing me up.
I was no longer attempting to make anyone else happy, just myself, but nothing I did worked.
I changed the subject, “How was the date with Tony?”
She studied me, wanting to talk to me about my problems but also wanting to talk about her boyfriend. She sighed, “It was really great, the movie was awesome, and he didn’t try anything weird.”
I watched Blair think about him, seeing a look of happiness cross her features. She was happy with him, and she knew that, and I was actually happy for her. At least one of us could find someone to make us happy.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was getting late. Megan and Nikki had apparently either had a little bit more than drinks or Nikki had managed to take Megan back to her hotel room.
Blair spoke, “It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it?”
I looked at her, “What?”
“The fact that Megan has been with Nikki for nearly five hours.”
I rolled my eyes, remembering what had gone on before I had escaped her room and gone to Blair’s. I had obviously kissed her and hadn’t given her or myself time to even think about it, and now I was watching the clock intensely waiting for her to get back home.
I sighed, “You should’ve seen her face when I kissed her.”
“Can you show me?”
I laughed, shaking my head, “She was so shocked, but it was like she had finally figured out something that had been confusing her for a long time.”
“Yea, because now she’s stuck between her crazy-psycho ex-girlfriend and her narcissistic nineteen year old student.”
I looked at Blair, “Don’t put it that way.”
“But that’s reality, Sam.”
I held up my hands, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, and I’m really drunk.”
“Fine. I’m going shower.”
I watched Blair get up off the couch and leave me in the living room alone, causing me to think about everything she had just brought up. It depressed me thinking about the truth between Megan and me, and when Blair brought it up it just made me more and more annoyed.
I felt my eye lids grow heavy as I made myself comfortable on the couch, realizing maybe I should just rest my eyes a bit.
It had been a long day.
But before I knew it I was out, praying I wouldn’t have any dreams to remind me about Megan.
~ ~ ~ ~
I awoke to noise coming from the front door as I suddenly realized I had slept on the couch last night. I watched as Megan attempted to close and lock the door quietly but failed, miserably.
I sat up, looking right at her waiting for her to turn around and notice me. The clock on the far wall read 7:20, which meant she had spent the night with Nikki.
Awesome.
I spoke, catching her off guard, “Where’ve you been?”
She jumped slightly, looking at me with a guilty expression and then changing it suddenly to an annoyed expression. She shrugged, setting her things on the ground, “That’s really none of your business.”
I felt anger flare up inside me from her response, and I didn’t need an answer to know where she had been. I knew exactly where she went, and for some reason the more I thought about it the more upset I became.
She walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open for me to watch her brush her teeth. I couldn’t help but want to ask her about last night, but I also knew better because that wouldn’t be a good idea.
She obviously wasn’t going to tell me anything anyway.
She looked at me through the mirror as I stood, making my way over to the kitchen to fix coffee because we both obviously needed it.
I didn’t want to stay in the same room as her but Shawn and Blair were sleeping and we didn’t want to wake either of them.
So it looked like we had no choice.
I sat at the cabinet with my coffee, trying my best to avoid eye contact with Megan. She continued to do the same and I knew she wasn’t going to bring up anything that happened between us yesterday. Not the kiss, not Nikki, and obviously not what she did last night.
So we sat in silence.
Then to my surprise Megan spoke, “I’m so glad Thanksgiving break is next week.”
I stared down into my coffee cup, thanking the Lord that she had at least tried to start a conversation.
I nodded, “I know, I needed a break from my horrible history class.”
She looked at me, “You had to go there?”
I shrugged, “Gotta keep this dry ass conversation going somehow.”
She sipped her cup as she stared forward, still continuing to avoid my gaze while I looked at her. I knew she could see me looking at her but she wasn’t giving in, and for some reason it annoyed me.
She spoke, “Stop staring at me.”
“Stop ignoring me.”
She glanced at me, “I’m not ignoring you Sam.”
I crossed my arms on the counter as I looked at her harder, attempting to get under her skin, “So about last night…”
“Is none of your business, like I’ve said before.”
I groaned, “So what, you slept with her?”
“Sam.”
I stood, feeling all of the messed up feelings swirl around inside me as I just stood there in disbelief. After everything that she had told me about Nikki, after everything that was said she still ended up giving into her.
And suddenly I couldn’t hold anything back anymore as I felt the word-vomit threaten to come out.
“I can’t wait till you move the fuck out so I don’t have to see or deal with you and your drama, Megan.”
Then I stormed off to my room, slamming the door behind me as I left Megan sitting at the counter alone.