Being busy made me avoid myself and my thoughts. The after effect of the articles was unbelievable. I'd expected a fair amount of people to check my clothing website, but I got so many people clicking and buying my clothes that I was convinced the site could crash anytime. Kat had done a wonderful job and nothing like that happened.
It was a miracle. My seamstresses were a hundred times busier because several categories got sold out in within hours. I was always in the office, urging on my workers and checking the final looks of all the outfits. Dave thought the rise in sales was as a result of Agnes shouting us out on Instagram since she had a million followers on her page. I believed that was one of the reasons but it was mostly because I was linked romantically with Yah.
I never apologized to Dave for cussing him but we were back to being normal around each other. There was no longer strain between us unlike the first few days that followed after my confrontation with Chike. I didn't bother calling Chike. I wasn't trying to get over him either because I was too busy to think about him. My body was constantly tired after leaving the office chaos behind. Whenever I got home later, I took a quick shower before burying myself under my duvet. I worked like I'd never worked before in my life.
One late night after work, I'd gone out with Yah again. We hardly talked, we just ate and smiled for anyone who was watching. We only spoke when he complimented the restaurant we were at. The pictures ended on the covers of gossip columns and blogs but I wasn't in the least annoyed, my business was booming and that was all I cared about at the moment.
I was in my office trying to connect with my fabric supplier, we were running out of clothing materials and I needed to get the materials listed on the inventory. I dropped the phone in its cradle after getting someone on the other end to take my orders. Dave walked into the office and placed a file in front of me. I looked at him with my brows raised.
"Chike just released a new single from his forth coming album. It's trending on Twitter and YouTube, I thought you should know what the lyrics says," he said.
"Thanks."
I took the file carefully and placed it on one side of my table. This was one of the issues with having any sort of relationship with musicians, any slight disagreement became an inspiration for their singing career. I sighed and took a sip of my green tea.
Dave was waiting for me to read it but I didn't want him to see my reaction when I eventually found out what was in there. I told him to get back to work and I did the same. When my mind couldn't take the curiosity any longer, I opened the file. The song title was, Risk it All Again (For You). I picked the single sheet that the lyrics was printed on and leaned into my seat to read it.
(Verse 1)
I gave you my heart now I have nothing else,
Making you my number one was a mistake considering how cold, cold you are,
I stay awake at night blaming myself for ever loving you,
But how could I not when the mere sight of you drives me crazy,
I thought love was a myth until I felt your lips against mine,
I should hate you for making me feel this way but I'd still risk it all for you again, just for you.
(Verse 2)
I brought my heart to you and you gave me pain,
Pain like nothing I've ever felt but I lived for that pain,
I got addicted to the hurt you brought to me but that wasn't enough for you,
Oh, it wasn't enough!
Because everything has to be more complicated with you,
Now I'm going to ask you what I couldn't do right,
Why exactly couldn't you love me?
Now I hate you but I'd still risk it all again for you.
Dave didn't add the chorus but I knew it would be similar to the verses. I read it again and picked a tissue to wipe my eyes. I didn't want to be reminded about him, if Dave had kept the song to himself I wouldn't have been mad. I cried into the tissue as I read the song again. My heart was aching again, and it felt so heavy.
If he felt this way about me, why was he so mean then? Those things he said about me couldn't have been farther from the truth. I wiped my tears and placed the sheet back in the file. I threw the whole thing into the trash bin. We were over, done. If he wasn't going to tell me those things by himself then I'd never act on them.
I had been avoiding thinking about much for the past couple of days and now everything welled up in my mind. How could he keep calling me cold when I was stupidly in love with him. I took my bag and walked out of my office, Dave stopped me on my way to the elevator.
"Are you going to see him?" he asked.
"No," I replied and walked into the elevator.
I went to the car park and got into my car. I called Zola to ask if she was home but she wasn't. I could have confided and shared my burden with her if she was home, she was the least judgmental amongst my group of girlfriends. I drove out of the car park and drove to nowhere. I didn't know where I was going to, I just kept driving around. My mood got a bit better as I drove.
When I got a text from Dave, I drove back to the office. We had a male client to style he'd sent. I met Yah sitting cross-legged on the sofa waiting for my arrival when I entered the office. He looked different in a bucket hat with a plain, black shirt and acid wash jeans, his neck was stacked with heavy jewelry.
He was apparently the client. It was clear Dave didn't like him since he addressed him as a client not my boyfriend.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. I dropped my bag on my desk and perched on the edge of the sofa.
"I'm trying to solidify our relationship. If the press sees me going in and out of your office, we'll seem genuine," he said
"That's smart. Did Ben put you up to this?"
He shrugged at my question. I noticed the bag beside him was emitting a lovely aroma and I remembered I had only eaten bread with peanut butter that day and that was earlier in the morning.
"Did you get food for me?" I asked.
"Yea, I couldn't come to your office empty handed."
"Thanks. What's in there?"
"Beans and plantain."
"Great, I love the combination. How did you know?"
"I guessed." I looked at him with question in my eyes. "Not really, your whole info is online. Do you know that?"
"Really?" I wasn't surprised.
"You mean you've not been reading the blogs?"
"I haven't, I know what they'll say anyway and I don't need to confirm it."
"Well, I'll tell you then. You were the most googled woman in the country last week."
"Wow, people really do love gossip."
"They do. My album is coming out soon and I can tell that it's going to be a huge success."
"That was the whole point of this, I'm glad things are working out well for you."
"Thanks to you."
"I didn't do anything, really." I rested my back and folded my arms.
"You have no idea. Since the news of our relationship got out people have been purchasing my old music that did so badly, my last album is currently moving up the charts on iTunes. People seem to think if someone like her can like him then we can too."
"That's astonishing. Isn't it amazing how easy it is to influence people without them actually knowing that they're being influenced."
"That's what the celebrity world is about, it's all about a little mind game. Spin your stories a certain way to get an expected reaction from people, it's weird how predictable humans are. "
"That's crazy," I said.
"Messed up. The whole industry is one huge cover up. No one is really who they say they are, we're basically illusionists."
Yah gave me the bag of food and I kept it aside. I couldn't eat it after what he'd just said, it just didn't feel right.
"How's it going? I mean the business front," he asked, he placed his hands behind his head in a relaxed stance.
"Exceptionally great, things have improved. We're both benefiting from the publicity."
"Lovely." Yah stood. "I have a place to get to so I'll leave you alone now."
"Thanks for the food," I said still sitting.
"Don't mention."
He looked indecisive as he looked at me. I could tell he was battling whether to peck me or not. There were no cameras around so I breathed a sigh of relief when he walked to the door instead. I watched him walk into the elevator, Dave stood from his desk and poked his head into my office.
"Just so you know, I'm team Chike," he said.
I waved him off and reclined on the sofa. My weeks of working too hard and sleeping so little were finally catching up with me. I yawned and closed my eyes.