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chapter forty-five: a white flag
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LUKE SKYWALKER IS drenched in rain as he hurries down the mountainside. The storm had come quickly and with little warning, but even the torrential downpour cannot dampen the fire that has ignited inside of him. His heart beats rapidly with each step he takes and Luke is hardly able to contain the whirlwind of emotions rushing through him. After closing himself off to the Force for so long, everything feels so real — so raw — that it is nearly overwhelming. Even so, he has one goal in mind — one person that he needs to talk to.
He needs to find Rey.
"Rey, you were right!" Luke shouts, crossing the meadow. Lightning flashes above his head and it makes him quicken his steps. "I'm coming with you! Rey?"
He couldn't hold himself back any longer; not from Rey, not from the Resistance, not from his daughter, not from his sister. They needed him — they all needed him. Luke had robbed them of hope by abandoning them, blinded by his own selfishness and despair. But he could fix that now. He could go with Rey. He could make things right.
When he finally approaches Rey's hut, he can see the faint light of a fire flickering inside of it. Relieved to find that she is still there, Luke hurries inside to tell her of his revelation. He pushes the door open without knocking, but is shocked to find Rey already standing with a packed bag.
His brow furrows. "Where are you going?"
Rey swallows harshly, clutching the strap of her bag so tightly that her knuckles turn white. "I'm leaving," she says briskly. "I don't have time for any long goodbyes, so this will have to be it."
"You're ... leaving?" Luke repeats, somewhat stunned. He hadn't thought she would go so soon. "Well, alright," he says rubbing his chin. "There's no need for any goodbyes, though. I'm coming with you."
Her face blanches. "What?"
He nods. "I know. I was a bit surprised myself," he begins, "But, I reconnected with the Force and I —"
"No," Rey interjects before he can finish speaking. "You're not coming with me."
Luke frowns. "I understand if you're upset with me — I know I haven't been the best teacher — but that's all going to change. Rey, I was wrong about everything. You were right all along. Leia needs me — my family needs me — and the rest of the Resistance does, too. I can't hide any longer."
"Master Skywalker, you can't come with me," his student repeats, looking far more agitated than before. "I'm really sorry, but I can't let you."
Luke pauses then and looks at Rey — really looks at her. Her deep brown eyes are wide and shifty, unable to hold his gaze for longer than a few seconds before they dart away. Everything about her posture screams that she is in distress — tense shoulders, clenched fists. Something else is bothering her. Something she is trying to hide from him.
"Rey," he says evenly. "What's going on?"
She refuses to look at him. "Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Rey," he repeats, more firmly this time.
"You can't come with me!" She blurts out; unable to hold it in any longer. "I went to the cave — the Dark place on the island. I know you told me not to go there, but I had to see it. I thought that it would show me ... something. The answer to a question I've always had, maybe. But it didn't. It showed me something else. Finn is either in danger or he will be soon. I have to go to him."
Luke shakes his head. "You went where and saw what?" He repeats incredulously. "Rey, I've told you a hundred times not to trust visions — especially if you know they come from Darkness."
"Something is wrong," she argues. "We haven't been able to make contact with the Resistance since we first landed here, but I can feel it deep inside me. I already knew that before I went to the cave, but my vision confirmed it. And Ben — I mean, Kylo Ren — he told me he can help if I come to him. I have to go, Master Skywalker. If anything were to happen to Finn —" her voice breaks momentarily before she shakes her head. "I can't stay here any longer. I've already wasted too much time."
She steps forward, as if to walk around him and exit the hut, but Luke grabs her arm. "Wait," he says, feeling his resolve crumble. Even though he doesn't approve of Rey's actions, he knows that something is deeply wrong in the Force — and he definitely doesn't trust Ben. "If you're going, you're not going alone."
The scavenger yanks her arm free from his grasp. "Yes, I am."
"No, you're not," Luke argues. "I'm still coming with you. I'm not just going to sit back and let you go charging into danger like this, all on your own —"
"You're not coming with me!"
Frustrated, the old Jedi Master throws his hands up in the air. "Well, why the hell not?"
"Because you'll die if you do," Rey shouts before she can stop herself. "The cave didn't just show me Finn. It showed me you, facing Kylo Ren alone. He strikes you down — you don't survive. I won't let that happen. I can't. You're our last hope."
Luke's eyes widen in shock as he takes in her words. For a moment, he feels a flicker of fear pass over him before he shakes his head. "Rey, the future isn't set in stone," he says gently. "This vision could just be a trick or a fleeting glimpse of a possible future. I need to go with you. I can't let you go alone."
"And I can't let you come with me," she says, the words quiet yet determined.
Before Luke can say another word, she pulls her staff from her back and brandishes it towards him like a weapon. "I'm leaving now," she says firmly, voice wavering slightly. "Please, I'm begging you — don't follow me."
"Rey, don't do this," Luke mutters, trying to reach out for her. She presses the tip of her staff against his chest; a warning for him to not move any closer.
"I'll come back for you," she tells him, even as tears start to pool at the corners of her eyes. "Once I find Finn, I'll come back and we can both return to the Resistance. It'll be safe for you then."
"Don't go," Luke pleads with her. "I can't lose another student."
"You won't," she vows. "I'll come back with Finn; you'll see."
"Rey, wait! This is not going to go the way you think!"
Before he can say another word, the girl slips out the door of the hut and starts to run. Luke moves to follow her but before he can make it outside, the door comes flying backwards, slamming shut in his face and trapping him inside. Luke tries to open it by pressing against it, but finds it jammed. Frustrated, he summons the Force and uses it to blast the hut apart, tearing the structure down in a shower of stones and rubble.
Instantly, rain comes pouring down onto his skin and clothes. Luke climbs free of the debris as quickly as he can, hurrying after Rey as she runs full speed towards Han's ship in the distance.
"Rey!" Luke shouts again as he chases after her futilely. "Listen to me! I've seen this story play out before. Don't you remember what I told you about Dagobah and Cloud City? I ran straight into a trap and it nearly cost me everything! Don't let that happen to you, Rey. Learn from my mistakes!"
His student doesn't hesitate.
Luke watches in despair as she climbs the ramp of the Falcon and shuts the door behind her. Just as he reaches the grassy clearing near the ship, the freighter fires its engines up. A powerful gust of wind nearly knocks Luke to the ground and the ship rises into the air. He can do nothing but watch as his pupil leaves him behind, abandoning the island in a flash of brilliant blue light. Defeated, Luke falls to his knees in the grass and lets the rain crash down upon him.
Rey was gone.
EVERYTHING HAD FALLEN to shit. As much as he hated to admit it, the optimism inside of Poe Dameron had dwindled to a dying flame He was restless, dejected, and impatient. Being trapped inside of a ship like the Raddus, powerless to do anything but sit and wait for something to happen, was driving him up the wall. There was only so many times that he could walk in circles around the mess hall, the medical suites, and the barracks before he lost his mind.
Except he couldn't lose his mind. Not now. Not when he needed to do better.
When he'd first sent Finn, Rose, and Stefan off, Poe had known that it would cause a fight between him and Indira. He had anticipated it — hell, he'd practically welcomed it — but he hadn't thought that it would be like this. The argument that had torn him and Indira apart kept playing through his head, over and over and over again. Had she felt that way all along? The thought makes him feel sick to his stomach.
Obviously, she doesn't want to speak to him. Indira had been avoiding him like the plague and she had asked for space, so Poe had given it to her. Even so, he wants nothing more than to go to her and tell her that none of it is true. He is a soldier at heart, yes, and he would die for the Resistance in an instant — but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love her. His father had said that knowing just how fleeting his life could be made his relationship with Poe's mother stronger. Poe had always thought it would be the same for him and Indira, too. But maybe he'd been wrong.
Regardless, Poe isn't willing to give up yet. One bad argument couldn't enough to scare him off. He could and would listen to Indira when she asked him to — something he was attempting to prove by holding himself back from picking another fight with their de facto leader. As much as he wanted to return to Holdo and demand answers from her, he held his tongue and kept away from the bridge; instead choosing to dedicate his time to helping others on the ship, like the patients from the medical frigate and the remaining pilots.
It wasn't enough to distract him from his thoughts, though. The Resistance was starting to lose hope. If he wasn't careful, he would lose it, too.
As he wanders the corridors of the Raddus, Poe stops to look out the window of the ship, watching as the blasts from the First Order's destroyers bounce harmlessly off the shields around the ship and disintegrate into fizzles of light. Soon, the shields would be useless against their enemy and if the fleet wasn't gone by then, the Resistance would be blasted into oblivion.
"Finn, Rose, Stefan," he mutters anxiously, running a hand over his face. "Where are you guys?"
LEIA IS SLEEPING soundly when Indira slips into the reserved area of the medical wing that had been blocked off for the general's privacy. C-3PO is there, standing alone, but he perks up slightly when he sees her. Indira offers him a small wave before reaching out to take her aunt's hand. Leia's skin is warm to the touch and her pulse beats firmly against her wrist, but other than the faint rise and fall of her chest, she is still.
"I wish you were here with us," Indira whispers softly. "I have so many questions I want to ask you — things I never even thought to ask."
She takes a deep breath, taking a seat in the chair at Leia's bedside. "I think I felt him," she says quietly, so only her aunt can hear. "My father. It was only for a second, but it was so clear. If you were awake, I think you would have felt him, too. Or maybe you did and you just can't tell me right now — I still don't know how this all works — but I felt him. I felt Luke."
A slight, nearly imperceptible twitch runs through Leia's fingers at the sound of her brother's name. Indira looks up sharply, searching for any sign of waking from her aunt, but nothing has changed. It makes her wonder if she imagined it entirely.
With a resigned sigh, she sits back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest, brooding silently for a few moments before looking at the droid in her company. "Threepio," Indira says, disturbing his peace and quiet. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Miss Beren," the protocol droid replies. "I'll do my best to answer any of your questions."
"You were around during the rebellion days, weren't you?" She asks. "I've been told that my knowledge of rebellion era history is lacking."
C-3PO nods his chrome-plated head. "Yes, I was. A truly dreadful time, if I do say so myself."
Indira's lips twitch slightly. "How did you get tied up in all of that?"
The droid gives a mechanical huff. "It was the princess's fault, really," he explains and his voice is an odd mixture of fondness and disapproval. "Mistress Leia hid stolen information about the Death Star inside of Artoo-Detoo. As a result, the two of us wound up being stranded on the desert planet Tatooine — a truly terrible place for any droid to be left upon!"
"Tatooine," Indira repeats, the name familiar. "Is that where you met —?"
"Master Luke, yes," he nods. "As well as Han Solo, Chewbacca, and your mother."
At the mention of her mother, Indira sighs. She had never really taken the time to ask her mother how she found herself in the middle of a war all those years ago. The rebellion had been a touchy subject for the two of them, but now Indira wishes more than anything that she had taken the time to just listen rather than pushing her mother away. With the way things are looking for the Resistance now, there is a chance she might not ever get to ask her about it someday.
"How did you meet her?" Indira asks, looking to 3PO for answers since he is the only one left who could give them to her. "My mother. What was she like back then?"
"Ah," the protocol droid says thoughtfully. "I met Mistress Jana when she was a stowaway on Han Solo's ship, the Millennium Falcon. She was in trouble with the Imperials and snuck aboard the Falcon at a cantina in Mos Eisley, thinking that it would be her ticket to safety. Instead, it led her directly onto the Death Star."
"Kriff," Indira almost laughs, though there's nothing funny about the situation. "Talk about bad luck."
The droid his head in protest. "On the contrary, she was luckier than most. All of us were, to have survived the rebellion and to have lived as long as we have. The odds of our survival were so dismal at times that I was certain we would perish, but time and time again, by some uncertain miracle we managed to survive."
She gives him a wry smile. "And what do you think of our odds now?" Indira asks. "How are they looking?"
C-3PO falters slightly. "Well, they aren't the best," he admits. "But, I have full confidence in Admiral Holdo!"
Her lip curls downwards instinctively. "Do you?" She asks, full of skepticism. "I most certainly don't."
The droid tuts at her in disapproval. "It's certainly not my place to say it, but I would advise you to perhaps put a bit more faith in the vice admiral," he suggests. "Princess Leia trusted her above all else. Shouldn't that mean something to you?"
Indira crosses her arms over her chest in defiance. "Maybe," she replies. "But trust is supposed to go both ways. Holdo hasn't exactly been open or honest with any of us."
"I suppose that is true," 3PO agrees. "But, you can't judge her too harshly. She's doing the best that she can, given the current situation. The job of a leader is never easy."
"No," Indira says sadly, but she isn't talking about Holdo. Instead, she looks down at Leia's fragile frame; tired and worn from years of holding the weight of the Resistance on her shoulders. Indira touches the older woman's hand once more, wishing that she could somehow will her aunt to return to consciousness. "No, it isn't."
Before she can open her mouth to ask 3PO another question, the doors to the medical wing slide open and Indira hears a familiar voice that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "How is she, Threepio?" Poe calls. "Any change?"
Indira stands from her seat quickly, meeting Poe's surprised gaze. Clearly, he hadn't expected to find her here; nor she him. Both of them freeze, standing on opposite sides of the room as they regard one another.
"I can leave, if you want," he begins.
"I was just about to go," she says at the same time.
They both stop talking as soon as they realize that the other person is speaking too and gods it is painfully awkward. "You talk first," Poe says, finally, after several beats of silence. "I'll shut up."
"I was actually just about to leave," Indira replies, tucking her hands into the pockets of her uniform.
"Don't leave because of me," he says. "If you want to stay, I'll go —"
She shakes her head back and forth. "No, there's this ... malfunctioning med droid I was supposed to take a look at," she lies. "You stay; I'll go."
"Oh," Poe says, frowning. Clearly, he'd been unconvinced, but he doesn't choose to press it. "Okay. If you're sure that's what you want."
His words are casual, but the meaning behind them seems deeper. It wasn't just about who stayed with Leia and who left — no, it was about more than that. It was about whether or not Indira wanted to continue dragging out the isolation between the two of them or if she was ready to wave a white flag and call a truce. Poe had been ready since the beginning, but she wasn't there yet.
"It's what I want right now," she says quietly, letting him down as gently as possible.
His shoulders sink. "Okay," Poe repeats. "That's ... fine. Just tell me if you change your mind. Whenever you're ready."
His gaze is so earnest and sincere that she has to look away. "Okay," Indira agrees. "I will."
She gives Leia one last look, smoothing the hair back from her aunt's forehead before stepping away. "Look after her for me, will you?"
"Always," he promises without hesitation.
Indira exits the room then, not sure where to go next. She wanders the ship for a while before eventually winding up at her own quarters. To her slight disappointment, EV-1 has no new transmissions from Raena Nhagy or anyone else. Heaving a heavy sigh, Indira decides to slip off her shoes and curl up on her untouched bunk. Since she'd first been awoken by Leia back on D'Qar, she hadn't slept a wink. Even though the evacuation had only been a few days go, it felt like years had passed since then and she was beyond tired.
As soon as her head touches the pillow, she falls fast asleep. Her eyes barely shut before she is sucked into the embrace of her subconscious, pulling her down further and further until she is fully submerged in a world of ever-changing dreams.
VII.
She finds herself pacing back and forth upon a solid surface. She can't see anything — her eyes fully cloaked by darkness — but she knows this house well enough by now to make her way around it without needing her sight. "You'll wear a hole in the carpet if you keep that up," a man's voice tells her. Kes Dameron. He's just as worried as she is, but he manages to hide it better. "Indira will be fine, Jana, and so will Poe. I'm sure we'll hear from them again soon. They're probably just —"
"You don't know that, Kes!" She disagrees. "We haven't received a transmission from anyone on the base in days; not even from Leia. Something is wrong about this — all of this. I can feel it in my bones." Her voice breaks as she covers her mouth with one hand. "I'm afraid, Kes. I'm so afraid."
She hears him sigh. "I know," he finally admits. "So am I."
VI.
She carries a torch in her hand, filled with resignation as she climbs the steps of a steep mountainside with purpose. As she enters the ruins of an ancient temple, she ignites the torch and fixes her gaze upon the large tree at the center of the cavern. She takes a few steps forward before freezing in her tracks and turning around with wide eyes, fixing her gaze on a shimmering figure that she has not seen or heard from in years.
"Master Yoda," she breathes incredulously.
"Young Skywalker," the ghost replies fondly.
She wants to smile back at him, but finds that she can't. Instead, she looks back at the tree with grim determination before tightening her grip on the torch in her hand. "I'm ending all of this."
V.
"Come on, Jess," she says frantically, hoisting her girlfriend's arm over her shoulder as she drags her away from the wreckage of their ships that had been shot down. "That's it, honey. Easy steps, just like that. I know it hurts, but we've gotta get out of here or we're fucked."
Jessika lets out an agonized sound as blood drips down her face from the cut on her forehead. She limps heavily as the two of them stumble along; one of her legs dragging behind her at an unnatural angle that makes every movement excruciating. "Kali, I can't —"
"You can and you will," she interrupts; gentle yet firm, with no room for objection. "You are not going to die on me today, Jessika Pava. Or any day, for that matter. Not until we're both old and gray. Alright?"
Jessika doesn't respond. Instead, she just sways before tumbling to the ground with an audible thump.
"Jess? Jess!" The other girl falls to her knees on the ground beside the pilot; heart beating wildly in her chest. "Jessika, wake up! Jess, please! JESS!"
IV.
Rushing water crashes upon her head as she cries into her hands beneath the shower head, trying to keep the sounds muffled so no one else on the ship can hear her. The girl's shoulders shake before she finally shuts the water off and slides onto the tiled floor, scrambling to switch her comm link on. "I fucked up," she sobs into the tiny transmitter as soon as it's online. It's Raena. "I fucked up real bad. I feel like I ... completely compromised everything." She pushes a strand of soaked blonde hair out of her eyes and huffs. "Well, maybe not everything. I just ... I don't know if I can do this anymore."
III.
"Four parsecs to go," she says, watching hyperspace fly past her from the cockpit of a ship. "Wow, this thing really cooks."
"Not as fast as the Falcon, though," a man's grumbling voice replies. "Where'd you say my ship wound up again?"
"Chewie has it," she replies briskly before her voice softens slightly. "He's with Rey. They took it to find —"
"Skywalker, right," the older man mutters before his shoulders sag in defeat. He shakes his head as his eyes grow misty. "Damn it. I still can't believe that Han is gone ..."
II.
"How much longer, Chewie?" She asks impatiently.
The wookiee roars at her in response and she winces. "I know, I know. Sorry," she replies. "I'm just worried about Finn. I spoke with Ren again — he still thinks that I'm coming to join Snoke. He doesn't know that I'm not alone, though, so once I'm onboard, you and Artoo can hack into the First Order's computers to try and find anything about Finn's whereabouts so I can rescue him."
Chewie roars again and she sighs in frustration. "Yes, I know it's not a good plan, but it's the only plan we've got!"
I.
It's dark and cold. Mist fills the walls of the cave as Indira walks deeper and deeper into it, unsure of where she is or why she's there. Even so, she knows that she has to keep going and she refuses to stop walking until she reaches a glassy, reflective surface at the heart of the cave.
As she gets closer, Indira sees a dark figure walking to meet her on the other side of the glass. It strikes inexplicable fear into her heart and sends shivers down her spine. Still, she continues to approach it, bewitched by an undeniable sense of dread and morbid curiosity. A masked figure stares back at her; ominous and strange as it wheezes out labored, mechanical breaths. Darth Vader. In her ear, a disembodied voice whispers to her and it sends shudders down her spine.
"See the real monster."
The masked figure reaches up and unlatches its helmet, tossing it to the ground with an audible clatter — only to reveal a second helmet underneath. This one she recognizes instantly as the helmet of Kylo Ren. Her cousin stares her down and she stares back unflinchingly, even as she feels herself start to quake in her boots.
"No," the voice in her ear hisses angrily and she recoils from it. "See the real monster."
Indira doesn't want to look anymore. She wants to turn and run away and leave all of this behind, yet she finds herself unable to move. Slowly, Kylo Ren reaches up to rid himself of the helmet, revealing a head full of darkened hair that tumbles into the reflection's face. Indira blinks, willing the image to disappear, but finds that it won't leave.
Her own face stares back at her, skin tinged with blue as her eyes remain cold and unfeeling. It almost seems as if she is looking at a stranger wearing her face as their own and for a moment, Indira thinks that might be the case. But then she moves — and the figure moves, too.
"Yes," the voice in her head croons before laughing in a dark, sinister way. "The real monster ... is you."
Ø.
Indira startles herself awake with a strangled scream as she sits up on her bed in a cold sweat. It takes her a minute to realize that she's not alone — strong hands grasp her shoulders; as if they had been trying to shake her awake moments before.
"Poe?" She asks, confused and disoriented as her heart beats rapidly in her chest. "What are you —?"
"Evie found me," he says with a frown. "She said she tried to wake you, but you weren't responding."
"Oh, gods," she sucks in a shaky breath, letting her head fall into her hands. "It was horrible. It was like I was trapped and —"
"It was just a dream," he interrupts gently, letting go of her arms so she can sit back and have some space. "I know the feeling, but you're alright. You're safe now."
"It wasn't just a dream," Indira mutters. "It was more. It was —" her voice breaks as her shoulders shake violently. She thinks she might be sick.
"Whoa, hey," Poe says with alarm. Before he can stop himself, he reaches out and pulls her into his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin while rubbing her back gently. In an instant, all their former distance is gone; forgotten in less than a second as he holds her close. "Easy. Deep breaths, sweetheart. It's okay; I've got you. Breathe. Just breathe."
Indira closes her eyes and buries her face against his neck as she forces herself to listen to his instructions, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She tries to make sense of everything she'd seen in her dream as the images flash through her head. Eventually, her breathing evens out and the panic starts to ebb away, leaving her much calmer than before.
"That's good," Poe says encouragingly as she stops trembling in his arms. "You're alright. It was just a dream — a really, really shitty dream."
She shakes her head, sitting back slightly so that she can look him in the eyes. "It wasn't a dream, Poe."
His brow furrows. "What do you mean? What else could it have been?"
Indira takes a deep breath, closing her eyes momentarily. For as long as she had kept her mother's secret to herself, Indira had known that she couldn't keep it forever. She wasn't sure how or when she would tell Poe, but she had never imagined it would be like this. There was no longer room for secrets between them, though, and she could no longer keep it from him. Indira was out of options, with no one else to turn to. It was time.
Time for her to tell him everything.
"I know that it wasn't a dream," she says slowly, "because it was a vision."
Poe wrinkles his nose slightly, not seeming to follow. "A vision?" He asks, confused. "What, like one that a prophet would have?"
"Not a prophet," she sighs, rubbing her forehead. "A Force user."
"A Force user," he repeats, meeting her gaze with wide eyes. "Like Rey?"
Indira nods slowly. "And like Leia."
He wets his lips nervously. "When you say 'like Leia,' do you mean like Leia or like Leia?"
"I mean almost exactly like Leia," she confirms, watching him jump to all the right conclusions in his head.
"Holy shit," he mutters, shaking his head with disbelief. "You don't mean that —"
"Yes, I do," Indira cuts him off, inhaling once deeply before exhaling with finality. "Luke Skywalker is my father."
a/n: in case it was confusing, dream POVs in order are — jana, luke, kali, raena, finn, rey, indira (nightmare)
EDITED ON:
11.07.19