September 24th
It's no longer the weekend. I'm having dinner with my mom and step dad.
"I am going to take tomorrow off and you, me, and your sister are going dress shopping." My mom squeals.
"Dress shopping?" I question hoping she didn't say what I think she said.
She nods her head excitedly.
"I have dresses." I state.
"You can't wear those dresses to a wedding."
A wedding? Who invited me to a wedding?
"Who's wedding?" I ask.
"Isabella's wedding, our neighbor."
Do I know her? I go upstairs to take a shower. As I undress myself I look in the mirror and see something on my back. I can't read it in the mirror, because it makes it backwards. I think it's a tattoo.
I grab my phone and take a picture of it. When did I get a tattoo? I usually remember things I do when I'm drunk, or high, but I don't remember this.
That explains why that part of my back is sore. My new tattoo says, "Chaos is an angel who fell in love with a demon." It's my favorite poem written on the top on my back.
I get in the shower. I think of my stash of vodka and whiskey I keep under my bed. I only have two bottles left, one filled with vodka, and one filled with whiskey. I get out of the shower, and out on some sweat pants and a t-shirt.
I grab the bottle of whiskey out from under my bed, open the bottle, put it to my lips. Time to get rid of Toby's face. Almost halfway done with the bottle and his face isn't gone yet. I'm saving my weed for after the wedding I will need it.
I fall asleep with a half empty bottle of whiskey under my bed.
....
"Alice wake up, we are going dress shopping." My mom moves my shoulder.
I sit up. Dress shopping. She woke me up from a dream of Toby and I to go dress shopping.
"I'm going to get ready." I say getting out of bed.
"Wear something that you can change out of easily." My mom gives me a tip.
I pull my hair into a pony tail. Now what should I wear? I walk into my closet. I end up picking out some black shorts and a dark blue shirt.
I make my way downstairs and my sister and mom are in the kitchen whispering something. Probably something about me.
"Are you ready to go?" I ask both of them.
My mom grabs her keys, and they both walk out of the house. I follow them. We get in one of my moms seven cars, that were paid for the day she bought them.
I don't say anything in the car, but my mom and sister had plenty to say.
We arrive to a dress store. When we walk in we are greeted. I walk over to the size zeros.
"Just pick out ones you like then just try them on." My mom shares with my sister and I.
I pick out mostly dark colored dresses, what I like. My mom hasn't liked any of them I have tried on. I continue looking.
"We are going to a wedding, not a funeral." My mom has said for the tenth time.
My mom walks over to my size and starts looking with me, she already found her a dress.
"I like this one." She says pulling out a pink, spaghetti strap, lacey, dress.
"I don't." I state.
"Just try it on." She pleads.
I take it from her then walk over to the dressing room. I slip it on, then walk out.
"Your getting that one." My mom commands.
It's not bad.
"Not I'm not." I push.
It's just not my style.
"Fine you if you can find a dress in here you can afford, then buy it, but I guarantee you that this dress is cuter than the one you can afford." My mom goes on and on.
"Ok ok, I'll get it." I agree.
I go wait out in the car while my mom and sister buy their dresses. My phone rings.
Please be Toby
It's Rachel.
"Hey." I answer.
"Hey. Want to go out tonight? I found some really hot guys who will buy us drinks." I can tell she is smiling.
"Not tonight sorry." I just don't feel like going out tonight.
"Ok well I'll talk to you later." We hang up.
My mom and sister get in the car.
"I am so glad we picked out the pink dress." My mom exclaims.
"You, you picked out the pink one." I remind her.
She starts the car. My sister grabs my hand quickly and puts it up to her stomach.
"That's so cool." I smile.
Then I realize that I'm feeling my sisters ugly baby kick inside her stomach. I pull away quickly, cross my arms, and look out the window.
After a moment of silence my sister says, "I'm not naming him Toby anymore."
I stay quiet. We make it to the large house and I go inside quickly. I run up to my room, and shut and a lock the door. I feel under my bed and grab the vodka. My hands open the bottle.
I take a deep breath. I can't seem to put this to my mouth. Toby's smile goes through my mind. I would rather Toby be on my lips than this bottle tonight.