OLIVER's POV
This was a terrible idea. I knew it from the moment I came up with it. But it had to be done. I had enough of the uncertainty and problems this situation was causing. It was affecting my life in a way I didn't want to acknowledge, and I couldn't let it continue like this. If I did, I was sure I would lose everything once again, and that was the last thing I wanted. I wouldn't survive it for the second time.
"Are you ready?" Josh asked and peeked at me from behind the doorframe of our bedroom, smiling. He was already dressed up, ready to leave for our agreed meeting, and his smile was giving me a headache. He was smiling all day. And I wouldn't say a word if it was a real smile. But I knew him too well. He was all tense, and the smiles he was giving me were as fake as the face of a barbie doll. I knew he was trying to make me feel better by doing it, but it wasn't helping at all. If I should be honest, it was making everything worse.
"Josh, you look like someone whose muscles are finally starting to move again after Botox. Please, stop," I whined, putting on one of my t-shirts. I couldn't believe we were seriously doing this. Why did I agree to take Joshua with me to a meeting with Victor? Yes, having him there was going to give me more confidence, and I didn't have to worry about anything happening. But those two in one room, while we would be discussing our future, was a recipe for disaster.
My lovely fiancé stepped into the room, coming closer and wrapping his arms around me.
"Sorry. I feel nervous. And I know you have it much worse so I tried to make you feel more at ease. Guess it didn't work." He looked down at me, grinning, this time more naturally.
"No, it didn't. You've never been good at pretending. It's one of the things I love about you." I smiled, getting on my toes to give him a kiss.
"Now, let go of me or we're going to be late. He is going to be pissed off simply because of your presence there. We don't need to add fuel to the fire by coming late." I broke free from his hug, reaching for a sweatshirt I prepared before. We didn't have time to waste.
When I called Victor a few days ago, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. All I knew was we needed to talk and discuss our current situation. From what had happened the last time, I could tell Victor definitely thought I would get back together with him. It was absurd. I would laugh if it didn't make me sick. Who, in their right mind, would think I would start dating a cheater who already broke me once when I had such a sweet caring guy waiting for me back at home? Right, not a chance.
After the night of my meltdown, I found myself terrified of any other potential contact with Victor. He was too unpredictable, and as much as I hated him for what he did to me all those years ago, the day we spent together reminded me just how easy it was to be around him when I didn't think about the past, and that was the last thing I wanted. My feelings for him were long gone, but I lived with him for a long time, and he used to be my best friend, not just a lover. Feeling this comfortable in his presence was scary. Not just because of myself, but because of Josh too. Getting cozy with your ex-partner, with whom you have a child on top of that, wouldn't be pleasant for any lover out there.
Of course, I had a serious conversation with Joshua about this. There was no way we were letting it be, ignoring the uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding this stupid predicament. And to say I was shocked by how much he actually believed in me was an understatement. He trusted me and was confident our relationship wouldn't change at all. Even after everything I told him about my feelings and thoughts, about how insecure I felt in Vic's presence, he just smiled and repeated his words of trust over and over again. It was unbelievable.
But despite his deep trust, there had to be some boundaries set. I couldn't risk any future misunderstandings. And to make sure of that, some things had to be made clear. Which was why we were here, getting ready to meet with Victor, together.
I sighed, thanking God or whoever was up there looking over me for finding someone like Josh and sending him my way. It was hard at times, believing someone like him actually existed and was part of my life. Moments like these always brought back up the self-doubts I had had since the moment we met. It was way worse when we first started dating. I was still hung up over Victor and the fact he cheated on me with a younger and more attractive guy, so believing there was someone who genuinely wanted me was hard. Before that, I never had a problem with having confidence. But Victor's affair changed it all, and I hated myself for letting him affect me in that way. My trust towards potential love interests was completely and utterly broken, shattered to pieces, and Josh had to work hard to put the shards back together. He was one in the million of the guys out there, and I couldn't describe how much I was grateful for having an opportunity to have him in my life even if I tried to. He was the best thing that had happened to me; right after having Matt, of course.
"Ready?" his voice brought me back from my nonsensical thinking, the reality of our current situation coming back to me. I didn't have time to think about the past.
Looking at him, I smiled, nodding. I wanted to be through with our meeting as soon as possible. I was sure it would be one of the hardest conversations I had ever had in my entire life, and I wasn't looking forward to it. And I sure as hell wasn't ready. There was nothing to be done but go, though, so I sighed and tried to come to terms with the fact I was most likely about to have an afternoon full of yelling and negative energy.
"Let's go! I would love to be back before it's too late to pick Matt up." Looking at Josh, into his beautiful eyes, I relaxed, a new wave of confidence and determination filled every corner of my body. With him by my side, I was sure I could do everything that was necessary.
***
The tension in the air was terrible. From the moment we entered the shop and Victor noticed I wasn't alone, the atmosphere changed drastically. His whole posture tensed, and his eyes narrowed. He looked like he was getting himself ready to fight, which was the last thing we needed. The matters to be discussed were too serious to have a stupid quarrel.
"Hello, Victor," I said when we got to the table he was at, sitting down with Joshua right next to me. I tried to act as friendly as possible, not wanting to make a terrible atmosphere even worse, but it was in vain. Based on Vic's sharp eyes digging holes into my fiancé, Joshua's presence was irritating on its own, and whatever tone I used wouldn't have any effect on his mood whatsoever.
"What the hell's going on?" he asked, his eyes never straying from Joshua. He was clenching his fists to the point of his knuckles turning white, and his face turned a slight color of red. I was surprised he didn't yell. His voice was firm and harsh, but not loud at all. It was actually quite calming, seeing him trying to control his anger like this. I wasn't sure why or how he managed to do it, but I was glad. The discussion awaiting us required some rationality.
I found Josh's hand under the table and squeezed it. As much as I wanted to play the strong guy, it was still too heavy for me. I needed some mental support, and his warm hand was more than enough at the moment.
"As I said on the phone, we need to talk." I took a deep breath, looking right into his eyes in hopes he would somehow get the message without me having to spill it. Which wasn't the case at all, of course, so I continued, bracing myself for his reaction. "We are talking about future here, a future Josh is going to be in, so he deserves to be here. Moreover, after what happened last time, I don't feel comfortable being alone with you." I stole a short look at Josh to see his expression. He looked calm and almost confident. As someone who was sure he was going to leave as the winner.
In any other situation, I would've smacked him because he was obviously trying too hard to impress Victor, maybe even provoke him, but not right now. His whole demeanor was reassuring, and that was exactly what I needed.
Looking back at Victor, I went on with what had to be said. There was no point in dragging this out. "That kiss was way out of line. You had no right to do that, knowing I am in a happy relationship. I don't know what idea you have, but the fact we have a son doesn't mean we will be getting back together. I'm-," I started a new sentence and was immediately interrupted by a waiter who came to get our orders. I didn't feel like drinking or eating anything, but as there was no way of knowing how long this horrendous conversation would last, I ordered a glass of juice and a simple ham and cheese sandwich. Josh got the same, Victor ordering a cup of Mochaccino.
When the waiter left, I looked back at the father of my son, trying to get back the courage I had before the waiter broke my flow. It was hard, getting back to what I was about to say before.
Victor was staring at me with a frown, and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to continue or not. He looked weirdly composed, and even though he was frowning and gave off this angry vibe, there was something telling me it wasn't as bad as one would think.
"I'm with Joshua. We got engaged not too long ago, and I love him. I count with the fact you will be seeing Matt from now on, and I don't have a problem with it. We will just have to come up with some reasonable conditions as you don't live in this city and all that. But you and me? There's nothing to think about. The only relation between us is our son." I squeezed Josh's hand in search of some more mental support and waited for Victor's reaction.
I wasn't sure what to expect. Normally, he would make a scene and yell his lungs out. Today, though, it was different. Ignoring the first few seconds when he noticed I wasn't alone, his behavior and the air around him was unreadable to me. I didn't know the Victor in front of me right now, and it was scaring me a little. Not being able to predict his reaction was, perhaps, much worse than him yelling.
After a moment of silence, he spoke up, his voice almost monotone.
"I'm moving here. I already bought a house, so figuring out when and how I'm going to meet with Matthias shouldn't be an issue," he said, my eyes going wide. Did he say he bought a house here?
My mind went in all kind of directions, and I was sure my head would explode in the following seconds under the pressure of all the thinking. Was it even possible to buy a house in such a short amount of time? How could he make such a huge decision and change his whole life in a matter of a few days? He had to be insane!
"You," I said but stopped right away, not really knowing what to say. I never even thought about the possibility of him moving here. Yes, Matthias was his son, and I expected he would want to keep in contact with him, but this turn of events was, so to say, shocking.
"What did you just say?" I asked, thinking I might have misheard him.
I was staring at him impatiently, waiting for his answer, but it never came as the waiter decided to show up at that moment with our orders ready.
Gulping down half of the juice, just realizing how thirsty I was, I kept my eyes on Victor. It seemed like the waiter distracted him because he didn't look like he was about to answer me. Instead of that, he was peacefully putting sugar into his coffee, stirring it carefully and taking a sip.
"What do you expect is going to happen from now on? How do you picture the future concerning Matty and us all? As much as you probably hate it, I am a part of Matt's and Ollie's life, and it is not going to change just because you suddenly showed up." Joshua spoke up, startling me, his voice calm and almost emotionless.
He was staring at Victor with a frown, and I couldn't help but wonder what his intentions were. He knew very well how hot-headed Vic was. I spent a lot of time talking about his temper the day before. It might have seemed different today, but you never really knew with him.
My eyes traveling between my fiancé and my ex, I could see Victor's nostrils flare a few times, one of his eyes twitching. I was sure he was about to explode and yell at Josh, but to my surprise, he took a deep breath and let it out, his eyes turning towards Joshua.
"I don't think you should be here. As much as you love to show off your relationship with Oliver and my son, you have no right to poke your nose into our business. You are an extra here. Even if you marry Oliver, you'll still be an extra when it comes to mine and Matthias' relationship. The only person who has a say in this is Oliver, and I would like to discuss this only with him," he sighed, his eyes turning to me.
"But whatever. You already brought the pest with you so be it. All I want is to be able to see Matty on some regular basis. I assume it would be best to start with similar meetings to the one we had last time. I sure hope you won't be bringing him with you there, though. I want to spend the time with Matt and actually enjoy it, which wouldn't be possible with him around." He took another sip of his coffee, closing his eyes for a moment.
"If you insist, I guess you could bring a friend or I could get Nels to come with me so we wouldn't be alone. But not this guy. Your brother and the guy you so kindly hired even though I had an affair with him are out of question, too. It would cause nothing but trouble. I believe Matt himself would notice the tension if you brought one of these people, so please don't," he paused, looking at me with sudden urgency in his eyes.
I wasn't really sure what to think about this all. He seemed like a completely different person right now. And even though his words about Josh being an extra pissed me off because he was anything but, I still found myself amazed by his behavior and words that actually made sense for once. Couldn't he be this reasonable every time we had a conversation? It would save a lot of trouble.
"After some time and after we both get used to each other, I want to have Matt over from time to time. There shouldn't be any real problem as we are now living in the same city. The house is big enough, and there is a big garden, where we could spend our time together. You can check it out and see for yourself if you want. As I just bought it, I still need to arrange his room properly, but he would have his own, of course. Furthermore, I believe Matt wouldn't have a problem with staying over either. From the short time I spent with him, I can see he is all for adventure. And we have a lot of time to catch up on. He is my son too, after all, and I already lost five years of his life."
His eyes flashed with emotions in his last words, and I was left speechless. If someone told me this was what I would be hearing Victor say yesterday, I would have laughed at them for being ridiculous. Victor saying something so sincere and emotional seemed almost impossible. I expected a lot of things when we agreed to have this discussion. None of them were even close to what I got.
I was aware there was much more to be discussed. Matthias staying over was a huge thing. I was sure he would love to. He was, just like Vic said, all for new adventures. But taking care of a child wasn't easy. And even though Matthias was already five, he was still a little child. And Victor had no idea what it involved. He never took care of a child before - at least as far as I knew.
But after hearing this rational side of him and realizing he actually thought about this before, I couldn't bring myself to deny him right now. We would have enough time later to discuss some details and further arrangements, so there was only one thing I could say to him at the moment.
"Okay. That sounds good."
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So, how many of you hate me right now? >.<
Do you think something big is going to happen before the end?
There is going to be a second book. What (who) do you think it's going to be about?
Let me know what you think! ^.^