The green park.
When I woke up, I realised that I was not inside a locker but instead standing on a lush green park. The same park where my Dada used to take me. Looking at myself I noticed I was not a sixteen year old girl anymore, but an eight year old with a pony tail, wearing white frock and white shoes. I squinted my eyes looking up and scanned the park.
This park looks the same with a small goal post, rose gardens, swings, slides and merry go rounds. Whenever we come to meet Grans and Dada, Dada would take me here and he would stand as a goalie with me hitting shots.
One drop of tear fell from my eyes as I remembered how he used to play with me, because Grans couldn't as she was suffering from back pain. He used to say that he missed playing foot ball with Grans and he would eagerly wait for me to come, so that he could play with me. Me, Grans and Dada would watch every football match and even highlights. Dada used to say he was honoured to marry a footballer. And grans would hit his head, but only I did notice how she would blush.
"Blue !" I swiftly turned my head to the direction of the voice. There he was at the goal post wearing those gloves I gifted him on his birthday, so that he wouldn't get any injuries on his weak hands. The brown and white hair, tucked up t-shirt and grey pants. I'm seeing him after so many years, and my tears just couldn't control itself as it poured along. I can only visit him through my dreams and nightmares.
He was motioning me to kick the ball. Wiping my tears away with my hand I moved back wards, then running forward I kick the ball with all my might. It straight went through Dada and into the net. I clapped my hands and jumped. Dada slowly came up to me with a pout on his face, he always does the sad face after loosing but I know, he let me win every time. Coming up to me, he took me in his arms and twirled me around. I giggled all the way and then he slowly puts me down. He took my hand and made me sat on the stone bench.
"Thats my blue" He used to call me blue, not just because of my eyes but instead Blue stands for caring and compassionate individual who tries to see the best in others and in every situation.
"Dada please take me with you. I don't want to go back" The tears that I was holding, came along and wet my cheeks.
"Sh sh sh..thats not my blue" He wrapped his arms around me and patted my back
"Your blue is not strong, her life is all messed up, Dada... She still gets bullied. She thought this time her life would be different. I had enough bottling up dada. Nobody likes me. I want to stay here with you Dada" I sniffed, sobbed crying harder on to his chest. I was no more an eight year old, I'm at my current age now.
"Izza, you have to live more, don't back up while you see a small danger. You have to go miles away, fight so many time. The best view will come only after the hardest climb. When you know how to stand on your two feet, then the whole world will be at you feet" I looked at him trying to gather what he just said and he continued,
"You have a life ahead of you. While I had a life which had a limit for how much I can live. Make sure you have it in a best way". He stood up and started walking towards a light which suddenly dropped from the sky. He stood there and slowly turned then said,
"You are my brave girl Izza. You are your Dad's strongest Barbie doll. Your Gran's champion. Mom's barbecue queen. Yusra's best friend. Yousuf and Ahsan's Izzy. So don't let them down. You are a dragon, blue..". And with a swish of breeze he was gone.
I tried hard to get up when I gained consciousness and then pushed myself forward with all my might. I was in the locker for a quiet a long time. My t-shirt was all drenched with sweat and I was weak with my breathing so heavy. Again I pushed harder and the locker door opened, I stumbled falling on to the tiled floor with a thud.
I just lay there for few minutes, trying to gain some sense of what all happened but it just gave me a shrill of pain instead. I tried to lift myself up, but couldn't and falls again. I slowly opened my eyes, it was all blur. Then slowly, lifted myself up and finally stood on my feet. I took my bag to get my spectacles and gathered my vision. And man, my body was hurting as disney land.
I was walking like a drunken guy, gobbling and falling. Reaching the school gates and hailing for a taxi, I quickly wore my hoodie in order to hide my face. Never once tried to recall what happened because that was not good right now. After minutes of drive, I finally reached home. Then without making noise I opened the door and got inside.
"Izza ?"
Damn
It was Yussa. I didn't try to look at her and she can't see me properly because of the hoodie. So without any further talk I moved past her, went towards my room and shut the door. I removed my clothes and went to take a shower. Till this time I was doing everything in order like a robot. Not having any unnecessary movement and not having any unecessary thoughts.
As the water hit my head, pain surged through my body. Then I couldn't take it any longer as I collapsed on the bathroom floor and let the tears roll down. I cried and cried as the water from shower became extra tears.
Why is everything going in the opposite way I wanted ?
Why am I getting punished ?
When will I have a life, with no more sorrows ?
"Your blue is a loser dada !".
I cried for a little more time then wiped my tears, gathered my strength and exited the bathroom. I applied some lotion on to the injured areas. As the lotion hits, it gives me so much pain. I wore full sleeves and baggy pants in order to hide my marks. When I reached downstairs Yusra was lying on the couch. I ignored her and made coffee then sat across her sipping it. She was reading something, when she noticed me she kept aside the magazine and looked at me pointedly.
"You were suppose to-"
She couldn't complete the sentence as she sneezed and coughed at the same time. I mentally thanked Allah but Yussa's sneezes were not stopping. She controlled herself and took a long breath. When she lifted her face in my direction I gasped as her face was so red and blood was coming out from her nose.
"Yussa !" She understood the signal and quickly went towards the washroom. She came back after sometime with tissues.
"What is this ?" I asked.
"My friend said it would be some sort of allergy". She said shrugging her shoulders.
"What type of allergy ? Its only getting worse".
"Oh don't worry it will heal soon" she said as if she knows everything. But it didn't stop, she kept on squeezing her nose and her tissues were bloodied. It disgusted and also hurts me. Because imagine when blood comes out, it will surely create pain. So here is Yussa continously squeezing pain. I walked into the kitchen to get some snacks, I tried to walk properly because my head was still spinning around.
"Izza.."
It was actually like someone whispered my name. When I went back to see her, she was doing terrible. Her face was of maroon colour. I touched her face and realised there was high temperature.
"Get some rest" She nodded and slowly tried to stand, but she failed. I tried to lift her up slowly, as I was also in pain. She slowly stood and arms in arms I tried to climb the stairs to my room.
"I can't climb, I'll rest in mom's room"
"No, she'll get infection too". She didn't understand why I'm doing this, but I very well know I'm behaving like a beetle. I tucked her in bed and without any further talk reached for the door.
"Izza will you call-
I didn't let her finish that sentence as I closed the door rudely. It was all about Yussa, always. She wants me to call Yousi because she thinks it will cure her, not gonna happen. She should realise, everything is not about her. When I was the Captain of my team last year, I had won a match. I remembered that I was so excited to show my trophy. But no one noticed me or even acknowledged me, because Yussa was sick. If it was me who was sick Dad would have said,
'Come'on Barbie doll, you are stronger'
'Barbie doll' they just say it to make it even. I know they like her more. Why wouldn't they ? Because she is good looking, she is smart and always like a cheerful cuckoo. And me ? I'm like a rotten bread. When she cries, everyone will sit around her and comfort her. When I, no I never cried in front of them.
The door clicked opened and entered my family. Mom and Dad had went for weekend party. And Yousi and Ahsan after my football match went to see Zohair's match. Yes I had missed my favourite's match.
"Oh hi Izza". Mom said removing her scarf.
"Did you eat something ?" I nodded my head, I lied. Because I only had my coffee and after that it was all Yussa. She smiled and went to her room, thank god I made Yussa go upstairs.
The thing is my Mom didn't even ask me about my match, she never did. Does she know that her daughter had a match ? Does she know that she had scored a goal and had won the match ? Dad sat on the sofa, he was tired. Mom came with a green tea and gave it to him.
"Oh I forgot, congrats on your match dear" Mom said and as if a tubelight was on, Dad said,
"Aah yes yes congrats Barbie doll". I just smiled, wow finally they remembered. Then Yousi and Ahsan came in.
"Izzy congrats !". Ahsan beamed with pride and hugged me.
"Thank you Ahsaaan".
"Let's have a dinner party, since Izzy had won" Yousi suggested.
A dinner party for me ? Wow that's new.
"Hey where is Yusra ?" and to spoil the atmosphere, Mom asked looking at me with confused eyes.
"Uhm, she is in my bed room".
"What is she doing there" Yousi asked. No this time, its all about me.
"Uh, she is just tired. She was already asleep before I came".
"Let me check on her".Yousi was going to get up from the sofa but I pulled his hand and said,
"No you don't need to. I went to see her and she said she was tired after the match, sitting in the hot sun and she needs to get her beauty sleep. She hadn't slept at all today"
"Oh okay then" and he sat back. I sighed and took a deep breath, lied again. There in my bedroom she is suffering, but I didn't care.
"So Mom what are we having today ?" I asked changing the topic and every ones mood lit up.
"No way, I'm not gonna make anything. I just came". She said and all our faces frowned.
"But still, we could order !" She said laughing at our expression.
Then there was bustling with joy. Dad ordered pizza, cokes and sandwiches and said they would deliver within 15 minutes. So I head upstairs to my room, to plug in my phone. I slowly opened the door and got inside the dimmed room. I saw her, she was wide awake. She was shivering, her hands and legs were shaking, her face was wet. But I ignored her and plugged my phone.
"Izza is that you ?". Her voice was like a whisper, not at all audible.
"Yes".
"Mom and Dad came back ?"
"No, they said they'll be late". I lied again, hatrick.
"Oh..".
"Yes, you want tablets ?"
"No I won't be able to swallow, my throat hurts."
I head back downstairs. The food had arrived and we all sat together on the table. I was smiling all the time and didn't even think about the girl, who used to help me in all my difficulties was lying in my room. But the thing is, every one was missing her, because she was that loquacious person. I saw Yousi getting up, I know he's going for her.
"Do you want to get slapped ?"
"Huh ?"
"I got a hit by the pillow she threw towards me, when I had sneaked into the room. You know right ? she gets mad when she is disturbed from her sleep".
"Yeah you're right" I sighed when he sat back.
"So how was Zoh's match ?."
"Oh Izza ! you should have been there". He said and I saw Ahsan nodding his head, he wanted to say but his mouth was full and melted cheese was dripping from the pizza slice on his hands. Then the rest of the evening was everything, that very short moment at the dinner table was happiness.
But I did miss her. I admit, without her this is incomplete. After dinner, Yousi, Ahsan, Dad and myself played football, Mom just sat and watched. She laughed as Dad faked hurt, so he could go sleep, he wasn't that player. I sensed someone was watching us but I was living in the moment and didn't care. After all fun, I had gone back to my room. I laid down on my bed, pulled my blanket up and closed my eyes.
"Pizza's were good Izza ?"
She knew.
But I didn't answer and pretended to be asleep cause I'm a bad sister .
___________________
Greetings ladies,
Vote & comment
Will you ever do this to your sister ? Its just Izza have got some insecurities. Thats all. She is trying ? ok ?