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chapter forty: trigger happy flyboy
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THE REMAINING SURVIVORS onboard the Raddus are summoned for an impromptu meeting on the ship's emergency bridge. When she receives the call, Indira is dozing in a chair at her aunt's bedside in a secluded wing of the ship's sick bay. Part of her is hesitant to leave Leia's side, but she knows that hovering over her aunt's unconscious frame isn't helpful to anyone. With so many people gone, the Resistance needs all hands on deck and Indira is no exception. But before she leaves Leia, she makes sure to press a kiss to her aunt's bandaged forehead and leaves her to sleep peacefully.
Indira squares her shoulders as she makes her way to the bridge, walking swiftly down empty hallways and corridors. It's jarring just how quiet it is on the ship; as if the heart of the Resistance itself had been sucked out into space the minute the First Order opened fire on the bridge. No laughter or good-natured teasing can be heard as Indira walks down the halls. The Raddus could easily be a ship full of ghosts.
However, as she sets into one of the elevators to the secondary bridge, Indira finds a familiar face waiting inside and it brings a smile to her face. "Stefan!" She cries, reaching out to pull him into a quick hug. "Thank Force. It's so good to see you!"
The former First Order pilot's shoulders sag in relief as he pats her back in a somewhat awkward manner. "My gods," he replies, shaking his head. "Indira Beren, it is very good to see you, too."
"Were you near the hangar when it was hit?" She asks, stepping back to examine him more thoroughly. "I didn't see you when I was there."
He shakes his head. "I was stationed on the other end of the ship," Stefan explains. "I didn't get there fast enough. By the time I made it to the hangar, the doors had already been sealed off from the blast."
"I'm glad," Indira says, exhaling deeply. "You got lucky."
His face falls. "I only wish that more of the others had been lucky, too. Is the general alright? I heard about what happened on the bridge."
"Right now, she's stable," Indira replies, fiddling with the crystal around her neck. "But she nearly didn't make it."
Stefan rubs a hand over his face. "It's amazing," he says, eyes wide. "Their family and the things they can do. I never believed that stories about the Force and the Jedi were true until I saw it with my own eyes."
"Yeah," Indira echoes. "Yeah, me too."
"Do you think Skywalker will come back?" Stefan asks in a hushed voice. "I heard people talk when we were still on the base; everyone said that a girl from Jakku was sent to find him. But that was months ago, wasn't it?"
She shrugs, feeling her heart rate elevate slightly. "I don't know if Rey will come back," Indira admits, rubbing her forehead to ward off an encroaching headache. "With the way things are going right now, I don't know if we'll even be around to see it if she does."
"I'm sure that someone has a plan," Stefan replies optimistically. "We'll make it out of this. If there's one thing I learned during my time with the First Order, it's to never underestimate the Resistance; especially when you think you have them cornered." His lips twitch into a bitter smile. "That's a lesson Hux was never quite able to grasp."
Hux. The mention of the First Order general reminds Indira of Raena Nhagy, who she had last seen disappearing into the blazing inferno of the destroyed hangar. She knows Raena can't die, but she has to wonder just how invincible the assassin is. Had she made it out of the hangar alive? Or did she succumb to the flames of the explosion?
"Well, then let's hope that General Hux is still an arrogant tool," Indira replies with a wan smile as the doors to the elevator open. "I'll see you later, Stefan."
The secondary bridge is filled to the brim with Resistance troopers. Pilots, technicians, and soldiers alike crowd the room, putting it at full capacity. As crowded as it may seem, Indira knows that the number of people on the ship is not nearly enough to win a war against the First Order; not when they have hundreds of thousands of disposable troops at their hands to serve in their army. The Resistance ranks couldn't be more than five hundred people at this point and that was being generous.
Indira sees Poe standing near the front of the room between Finn and an Abednedo male named C'ai Threnalli. BB-8 is propped against Poe's leg, but when the astromech droid spots her it rolls out of the way, leaving room for Indira to slip into the space between Finn and Poe.
"Hey," Indira says, tweaking BB-8's antenna fondly. "Did I miss anything?"
Poe shakes his head. "Haven't started yet," he informs her. "How's Leia?"
"Stable," she sighs. "But still unconscious."
Poe frowns and crosses his arms over his chest, but says nothing else. At the front of the room, Commander D'Acy — one of the few officers left — steps up to the center, clearing her throat to gain everyone's attention. The hubbub of the room dies down instantly as everyone gives her their complete and undivided attention.
"General Organa — Leia — is unconscious, but recovering," the older woman announces, swallowing harshly. "That's the only good news I have. Admiral Ackbar, all our leadership — they're gone. Leia was the sole survivor on the bridge."
Even though she had already known this, the words still hurt to hear and Indira flinches. A wave of chatter goes around the room as people begin to whisper uneasily. "Oh dear, oh dear," C-3PO mutters nearby and Indira wishes that, for once, the droid would shut up for the sake of her peace of mind.
"If Leia were here," D'Acy continues, silencing the room, "she'd say: save your sorrow for after the fight. To that end, the chain of command is clear as to who should take her place: Vice Admiral Holdo of the cruiser Ninka."
Indira's eyes narrow slightly as she watches the purple-haired woman step forward; head held high and proud as she looks over the soldiers around her. "Thank you, Commander," Holdo replies coolly, taking D'Acy's place at the helm of the room.
Beside her, Indira hears Poe huff out a soft sound — something like a cross between a sigh of disappointment and a breath of relief — as he lets his head fall. She doesn't have much time to think on what it might mean before the admiral begins to speak once more.
"Four hundred of us, on three ships," Holdo says. "We are the very last of the Resistance. But, we're not alone. In every corner of the galaxy, the downtrodden and oppressed know our symbol and they put their hope in it."
Her speech is well-polished and practiced; the speech of a politician rather than a military commander. In a strange way, Admiral Holdo reminds Indira of her mother, back during her days as a senator.
"We are the spark that will light the fire that will restore the Republic," Holdo asserts; full of passion and enthusiasm that Indira can't find it in herself to reciprocate. Not while all of their lives are hanging in the balance. "That spark, this Resistance, must survive. That is our mission. Now, to your stations, and may the Force be with us."
Indira frowns as the admiral's speech ends and people begin to clear the room. As inspirational as Holdo's speech had been, it was also lacking substance and devoid of any real orders. Return to my station? She wonders. My station was the hangar and it got blown to hell; I don't have a station.
Beside her, Poe seems equally doubtful and Finn looks as lost as Indira feels. "That's Admiral Holdo?" Poe asks the Abednedo male beside them. "Battle of Chyron Belt Admiral Holdo?"
C'ai shrugs and says something in a language that Indira doesn't understand before he stands and walks away, leaving Poe, Finn, and Indira behind.
"Huh," Poe says, scratching his head. "Not what I expected."
"I don't know where I'm supposed to go," Indira hisses. "I don't actually have a station to go to anymore."
"Me neither. Let's go talk to Holdo," he suggests. "I'm sure there's other places we can help."
She frowns again. For some reason, that seems like a very, very bad idea to her. "Poe, wait," Indira warns him, but his wrist slips through her grasp before she can stop him and he leaves her and Finn behind.
"Oh, no," Indira mutters, watching from a distance. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"Vice Admiral?" Poe calls, making his introduction. "Commander Dameron."
"She's ignoring him," Finn mutters, narrating the encounter as if it were a sporting event as Poe attempts to get the admiral's attention. "Look at that. She won't even look at him."
"Great," Indira replies, setting her hands on her hips. "This should be entertaining."
"Vice Admiral," Poe tries again, impatience bleeding into his tone as the older woman continues to ignore him, "with our current fuel consumption, there is a very limited amount time that we will be able to stay out of range of those star destroyers."
Holdo doesn't spare him a glance. "Very kind of you to make me aware."
The pilot frowns. "Well, we need to shake them before we find a new base," he replies, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "So ... what's our plan?"
"And here we go again," Indira sighs, feeling the dull pain of a headache throb above her left eye.
Something about Poe's tone seems to irk the admiral. Amilyn Holdo whirls on the young starfighter, narrowing her eyes as she looks down on him. "Our plan, Captain?" She sneers. "Not commander, right? Wasn't it Leia's last official act to demote you? Because of your dreadnought plan? Where we lost our entire bombing fleet?"
Poe flinches, taking a small step back. It makes Indira angry to see someone talk to him like that. She balls her hands into fists, ready to march over to Holdo and to give the woman a piece of her mind — but before she can take a single step, Finn stops her by sticking an arm out and preventing her from leaving.
Poe manages to shake the remark off and resume his inquisition. "Captain, commander — you can call me whatever you like; I just want to know what's going on."
Holdo gives him a wan smile. "Of course you do, I understand," she says, stepping closer so that her tall, willowy figure towers over Poe. "I've dealt with plenty of trigger happy flyboys like you. You're impulsive, dangerous, and the last thing we need right now. So, stick to your post and follow my orders."
Indira's mouth drops open. "That bitch!" She seethes quietly, unable to stop herself from swearing.
Holdo hadn't been entirely wrong; Poe had done a lot of damage during his dreadnought attack. But he'd saved lives, too. If the bombers hadn't taken the dreadnought out, the Resistance wouldn't have survived the second attack that the First Order had thrown at them. And even Leia — who had demoted Poe after the evacuation — placed her trust in him immediately the second the fleet was in danger again.
Finn lets out a low whistle of agreement. "That was cold."
Holdo stalks away, leaving Poe behind. His head and shoulders slump as he makes a walk of shame back to where Finn and Indira are waiting.
"Well, I don't think she likes me very much," he announces, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Even though he's aiming for humor, Indira can tell he was hurt by the rebuke. "That went about as poorly as it possibly could have gone."
Indira scowls. "I'm going to go talk to her," she announces, hands clenching into fists. "She shouldn't have spoken to you like that when you were trying to help! Sure, you messed up with the dreadnought, but still!"
"Indira, don't," Poe warns. "I don't want you on her bad side, too. Let's just go."
She ignores his protests and squares her shoulders before approaching the vice admiral, who is discussing something with Connix over a data pad containing a log of all of the Resistance members and their posts on the Raddus.
"And where is Captain Nakada stationed?" Holdo asks in a low voice. "I have some questions for him. I'd like for him to be escorted here immediately."
Indira's eyes narrow slightly before she clears her throat, announcing her presence to the commanding officer. As Holdo turns to look at her, her smile falls. "Can I help you?"
"What do you want with Stefan?" Indira asks suspiciously, abandoning her previous plan entirely.
"That's no concern of yours," Holdo replies, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Yes, it is." She crosses her arms over her chest. "Stefan is a friend of mine. He hasn't done anything wrong."
"Don't you have work that you should be doing, technician?"
Indira does her best to not scowl and takes a deep, calming breath. "I don't know if you remember, Vice Admiral, but we met on the Ninka during a supply transfer a few months ago. I'm Lieutenant Indira Beren; Leia sent me to meet you."
"Beren," Holdo repeats. "Yes, I know who you are."
"Great. Look, I think there has been some sort of misunderstanding here. My friends and I aren't trying to cause trouble; we just want to know what's going on. People are scared and confused and all we want to do is help —"
Holdo holds up a hand, silencing her. "Let me stop you there, Lieutenant," she interrupts. "I don't know what you were used to while working with General Organa, but I am not her."
Obviously, Indira thinks.
"It's my understanding that you had an unusual relationship with Leia, yes? That you worked very closely with her?"
Indira swallows hard, feeling uneasy. "We were close, yes, but General Organa was good friends with my mother. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary."
"No?" Holdo asks, raising her eyebrows. "From what I've heard, you two were almost like family to one another. Is that not the case?"
Does she know? Indira thinks, heart pounding frantically in her chest. How could she know?
The idea of someone else knowing her secret — her mother's secret — is terrifying. Indira does her best to school her face into an expression of neutrality, attempting to mimic the impassive mask she had seen Leia wear so many times before, but her clenched fists are shaking with anger. "No," she lies. "She was a mentor and a friend to me; nothing more than that."
"I see," Holdo replies flatly. "But in that case, if I'm being frank, I don't understand what was so special about you and your friends that it would allow you to become accustomed to receiving preferential treatment from General Organa. Nevertheless, that will be ending with me."
Her jaw clenches angrily. "Preferential treatment? Please, do elaborate on that for me, if you will."
Holdo purses her lips. "How is a notoriously disobedient and impulsive pilot still a commanding officer? How does an academy dropout — with no practical or military experience — rise to the rank of lieutenant a mere matter of months after enlisting?"
The words feel like a slap across Indira's face.
"Perhaps you really are that good at what you do," Holdo continues, "but I suspect that, more likely than not, the general was playing favorites for the daughter of an old friend to help soothe a guilty conscience. That was Leia's prerogative to do so, but rest assured that it is not mine. I don't appreciate nepotism and I certainly won't encourage it on my ship."
"Nepotism?" Indira repeats, feeling both angered and insulted. "Vice Admiral, with all due respect, none of that is true. I have never asked to be given special treatment and neither have my friends. You've got this all wrong —"
"Maybe I do," she interjects, "but as long as this ship is under my control, things are going to be very different around here. Do I make myself clear?"
Indira glares. "As crystal."
"Then I'm glad that we understand one another," Holdo says, her smile filed with warmth that doesn't reach her eyes. "As for your reassignment, I believe that turbo-lifts seven and eight require maintenance. I think that would be a fitting job for someone with your experience. Don't you agree?"
Indira bites her tongue to keep herself from saying another word. They were literal hours away from running out of fuel with the First Order still hot on their heels, yet Holdo wanted her to do maintenance work on elevators? She couldn't believe it!
"Sounds great," she replies through gritted teeth, giving the admiral a sarcastic salute that teeters on the edge of insubordination. "Thank you so much for your candor, Vice Admiral. It's good to know where we stand with one another."
Holdo's lip curls downwards. "You're dismissed, technician."
Before she can say another word, Indira turns on her heel and marches back towards Finn and Poe, grabbing both of them by the arm and dragging them from the room. BB-8 trails behind them, beeping anxiously as Indira pulls them into a nearby maintenance closet; far, far away from Vice Admiral Holdo.
"Indira, what's going on —" Finn begins.
"She's insane!" Indira explodes as soon as the door closes. "Holdo thinks we've been receiving preferential treatment from Leia! And she said that I don't deserve my rank, so she assigned me to do maintenance work — I mean, people are dying and she wants me fixing elevators! And, on top of all of that, she was having Connix look for Stefan so that she can interrogate him. I don't know why, but it obviously can't be good!"
"That lady has a real stick up her ass!" Poe joins her rant. "She thinks she's better than us just 'cause she's got a higher rank, but she's not. Leia never treated anyone the way she does — regardless of their rank or title!"
"Clearly, Holdo isn't Leia," she replies darkly. "I hate her."
He crosses his arms over his chest. "So glad that we're on the same page."
"Something is off about this," Finn interrupts. "I don't know about you guys, but none of this feels right to me. What would she want with Nakada?"
"Why does she even care about Nakada? We're burning fuel like crazy right now and she isn't doing anything about it!" Poe continues. "If we don't figure out a plan in the next twenty-two hours, the ship will be out of fuel and we'll all be dead."
"Lovely," Indira says with a wan smile. "Listen, I have go fix those lifts. Poe, you go check on Leia while I'm there; Finn, you stay out of sight. Keep your heads down and don't draw attention to yourselves. If nothing has changed by the time I get back ... we'll have to discuss our options, alright?"
Poe reluctantly nods in agreement. "Alright."
"Just ... don't do anything stupid or impulsive before I see you again," Indira requests. "Please."
"Who, me?" Poe asks, raising his eyebrows mockingly. "Stupid? Impulsive?"
"I'm being serious!"
"So am I," he replies. There's no hint of a joke in his eyes. "I promise I won't do anything until you get back. Once you do, though, all bets are off."
EDITED ON:
11.02.19