Pete
I slept for the entire afternoon into the next day. When I woke, it was 5:30am and I was now wide awake. I got up and freshened up then wondered down stairs and into the kitchen.
I should have known she would be there when I walked in. It was almost six and she always started preparing for the day at 5.
"Par Jew." I say her name softly because I am suddenly overcome. This woman is my saving grace. It was because of her that I was able to survive when things were difficult. She taught me how to cook and showed me the things I needed to do to take care of a home. She loved me as much as my mother did and I loved her like a mother.
Her head turns and I am surprised that she was able to hear the whisper of her name. Her eyes widen and suddenly she is moving quickly from behind the sink and into my arms.
I am crying now because she is crying and we both just hold on to each other as though this is our only chance.
"Young Master! Oh! Oh! I have missed you so much. I am so happy to see you."
"Par Jew. I have missed you as well. I have missed you so much." I held on because this is true. I have always been blessed with two mothers and I appreciate them both so much.
Finally we let go and I wipe her face with a tissue from the roll on the counter.
"Oh. I still can't believe you are here. You mother must me so happy. Oh. Master Ae must be besides himself. I am surprised he is not here already. But then he has that big project to worry about. I bet he will show up soon."
"Oh. Par Jew. Is Ae here often then?" I ask her in surprise. I had no idea. Though maybe I should. He seemed so close with Mom yesterday.
"Oh Master Pete. If you only knew how much he missed you. That first month that you were gone, he was here for almost the entire time. Slept in your room, he did. He was grieving, the poor boy. I know what he did for you was wrong but I cannot blame him for it. You should have said something sooner my baby. You should not have kept us in the dark."
"I know that now. He told me to say something. To call the police even. But I knew the impact it would have on the family. I didn't want to take that risk. And to be honest. I wasn't read to come that far out of my closet. I was in love and we were happy. He was a problem that only reared its head every so often."
"Yeah but people like him, they are parasites. They will keep sucking until you cut them off. That's what he was doing Pete."
You must be confused by our conversations, or maybe you have caught on by now. I was attacked by a man named Trump on more than one occasion.
He wasn't always my attacker thought. In fact he courted me and I was so happy to finally feel loved that I feel for it. Then, once he trapped me with a kiss, he betrayed me. He began blackmailing me for money while using the threat of my sexuality. I am from a very rich family on both sides. My mother's family name carries a lot of weight in old money. So does my fathers. I have spent my whole life with the knowledge that one wrong move could destroy the image we have always maintained.
But I also wanted to be loved. I wanted to be looked at with affection and held by strong hands, and stroked with a passionate grip. And I wanted all that to come from a man.
It was because of Trump that I met Ae. He saved me when Trump would have hurt me. He made sure that I was always protected. However, he is not superhuman. Trump was able to get to me just once and he tried to rape me. Ae found us in time and almost killed Trump.
I know Ae. He would have willingly faced the consequences and I loved and still love him enough to wait for him. But there were other things to take into consideration. Ae's family would have to live with the consequences of what he did. They depended on their businesses to live. This would cost them clients. Ae was also being recruited by an engineer named Forth who had established his own company. He was molding Ae to be his portege.
How could I take that away from him? From them?
I did what I need to do. And all it cost us was 3 years.
"Anyway. Let's not talk about these sad things. You are back now and I am happy. What do you want for breakfast?"
"Whatever you are making is fine." I tell her with a smile.
"And do make sure you eat it. That Ae has always eaten my food well and you would tell me how much work he had to put in to get you up to 'fighting weight'. That boy is precious."
I eat whatever she puts in front of me as I listen to her tell me about Ae and how much they have grown to love and depend on him. I cannot stop smiling because I feel the same way she does. He is my pillar and he has never let me down even when he thinks he has.
"Thank you for breakfast and for the stories. I am very grateful that you had him all this time and that you took such good care of him for me."
"It was the least I could do. Just be happy with him Young Master. It is all I want for you."
"Thank you Par Jew." I hug her again then head back to my room. I see a missed call from Ae and I call him back immediately.
"Pete? Oh my god. Is it really you?"
"Pond? Pond!"
"Pete! Oh shit! Ae. Stop. Wait! I just answered the phone for you! I was about to call you! I swear!" I heard the weird noises of a struggle and smiled.
"Pete? Hey. Did you get enough sleep?" Ae was suddenly there and I couldn't help grinning. He sounded winded. Pond must have put up a fight for once.
"Yes and I just had breakfast." I tell him to reassure him.
"Great. I_ Back off Pond! I'll ask him already. Fuck!" The phone cut off and I stare at it in surprise then burst out laughing. I shake my head and start to call him back when I see he is calling me.
"Ae?"
"Pete. Sorry about that."
"Is Pond actually crying?" I can hear sobbing in the background.
"Hell no. Ignore him. Anyway. Pond is having a BBQ this weekend for you but he can't have it if you can't come."
"I'll be there. I wish Ai'Diew and P'Money could be here for it."
"Actually Diew is coming in on Friday. He is just passing through for a couple of days on his way to somewhere else but since he is coming, Pond is just trying to get everyone together."
"Great. I'll be there. How is the work going?"
"We're still on schedule and a couple of us were able to come back to work today. I wish I could see you today but I don't think I can."
"I'm ok Ae."
"But we need to talk and I want to see you so badly. I miss you Pete."
"I miss you too Ae." I admit. Now that he is close enough to touch again I want to be attached to him.
"It's hard when your so close and yet I can't be near you. it's driving me crazy." Sighed and I could only smile.
"So what are you doing today."
"Just resting. Then I'm going to do a walk through of the main hotel here in Bangkok tomorrow casually. I don't want them to be prepared so I'm just going to show up. Friday, I have a meeting with Mom and then next week I am going to meet the new board then hold meetings with the new heads of departments. I'm excited. I have so many ideas."
Ae is chuckling over the phone. "You make me feel so good when your happy. I'm going to be off on Friday because P'Forth will be back by then. Do you want me to pick you up after the meeting?"
"Yes please."
"Great. We can plan from there. Just let me know what time the meeting starts_"
"Nine," I interrupt him. "So I will be ready to leave by lunch hopefully. I'll message you once we're close to rapping up. And Ae? I can't wait to spend the time with you."
I put down and fall back on my bed. My entire being is yearning for him but I have to control myself. Why am I this desperate and needy? It just seems to be all too much. I don't really understand it. Then I blink and reach for my phone again.
"Can?"
"Pete? Is it really you? Are you back?"
"Can! Yes. Are you coming to the BBQ on Saturday?" I speak with Can as thought I have just seen him last week and it does feel that way. Can is now as essential to me as Ae is.
"BBQ? What?" He is suddenly silent and I wait. I have missed Can's physical company very much since I have been gone. He was the one who helped Ae find me that night and I will always be grateful to him.
"Hi. Sorry. Pete?"
"Hey. I'm here. Did you just get the message or something?"
"Yes. I don't care what we are doing on Saturday, Tinn and I will be there. I already sent him a message. So have you seen Ae? And if you haven't then why the hell not?"
"He came on the airport. Can? What's it like when you and Tinn spend a long time apart?"
"When he went off to England for University, I was a mess. I had work though and I was taking more classes. I wanted to do first responder training. Anyway. The minute he came back home for break, I jumped him faster than you can say Tin. Is that what your going through right now? You want to hump the Ae-nergizer bunny?"
"Yes. Like I just need Ae to appear in front of me and I'll beg for it. It's that bad. Can. I'm a mess." I feel so comfortable confessing this to him but he has pretty much told me the same things in the past.
"Well you have 3 years worth of sexual tension stored up. I'm not an idiot Pete. You haven't been with anyone else because no matter how much you like them, they can never be Ae. Am I right or am I right?"
"Your right." I admit it easily to him. Can and I relied on each other for years and when I left, he used to send me emails every few months telling me what was happening. One of the privileges I fought for was to be able to reply to him but I couldn't ask about Ae at all. If I did, I would lose access to my emails. That's why I can say I miss his physical company but, I can still talk to him as though I was just with him last week.
"I'm glad your back Pete. I missed you so much and I had no one to help me figure shit out. Ae's great but he doesn't get it the way we do and Tin is usually the source of the problem anyway so I can't talk to him. I really am glad your back and holy fuck do I have so much shit to tell you! Holy hell!"
I grin and settle in better. "Bare your soul my friend. I'll listen to it all."