Rest of author's note at the end, but this chapter is dedicated to MareBarexxo. She made me a GORGEOUS banner, and it's been the lock screen background on my iPod ever since. TELL ME, IS IT PRETTY OR PRETTY?
I love anyone who does anything for me; fans, votes, comments, likes, makes me things.
I LOVE ALL WHO DO THAT AND IT MAKES ME DANCE.
I also dedicate anyone who does stuff for me, because it really does mean a lot to me.
Chapter 3:
ELLA'S POV
Now
December 13th, 2012
The rest of the week passed by with no more encounters with Niall, to which I was very grateful.
What I wasn't grateful for, however, was the phone call I got that morning.
"Hey, Jen. What's up?" I asked, putting her on speaker as I put on a black, stretched out, wide-necked sweater, my favorite pink tank underneath
"Ella." Her voice was scared, urgent. Not the way a nurse's voice should sound. "It's your father. He's not doing well. He keeps asking for you. Come. Now. As fast as you can."
My heart pace quickened.
"What's wrong with him?" I asked quickly.
"No time! Just come! Bye." The call beeped and ended.
I frantically pulled on a pair of jeans over my bare legs, and slung on a pair of black boots. Tears were flying down my face.
Jen's never sounded nervous before. She's a nurse. She's calm, and sweet, and understanding. Never nervous and frantic.
It had to be bad.
This was my father we were talking about! My mother died giving birth to me, and he got sick not long after! His kidneys weren't functioning, his heartbeat was irregular, he was paralyzed from the legs down. He was supposed to die long ago, but he was strong. He got through it.
I knew he would get through this, too. But that didn't stop the fear that rammed into me, and the tears that fell free.
My father was the only thing I had when Niall left. I was the only thing he had when my mother died.
I grabbed my keys, and darted to the front door. It was raining again. When I flung the door open, my heart stopped.
"Ella-" Niall said.
"Leave!" I cried, the tears flowing faster now.
"What's wrong?" He ignored what I said before.
"Everything!" I screamed at him, and pushed him out of the way, ducked into my car, and started the engine...
Only to hear my car make strange, guttural noises and die. I shrieked in frustration. I found a knitted cap in the seat next to me, set it on my head, and got out, ignoring Niall who was still on my doorstep.
Looks like I was walking to the hospital.
"You can't walk in this rain, El! You'll get sick!" Why was he reaching out to me? Hadn't I made my feelings clear enough?
"I don't care!" I burst out, turning to face him angrily. "My father is in the hospital right now, and I need to get there! He could be dying right now, and I don't need you holding me up!" I turned around to walk again.
I couldn't hear much in the rain, so I couldn't anticipate it when Niall fell into stride next to me, and grabbed my wrist.
I flung my hand out of his familiar grasp. "I told you not to touch me."
"Ella," His blue eyes were sad, making my stomach twist. "Just let me drive you. Let me do that."
"No."
"El, it'll take ages if you walk. You might not have that long. Just let me drive you. My car's right at the end of the road."
I needed to get there. And fast. "Fine." I said, calming myself with the thought that it was just to get to Dad, and then I'd avoid him like the Black Plague.
"Alright. I'll get you there quickly." He promised.
I didn't reply.
We walked in silence to his car. His fingers brushed mine, and I stuffed my tingling fingers into my pockets. His shoulders drooped when he saw. My heart panged.
Here I was, causing the boy I love, pain.
He caused you pain first. I thought.
"What happened, El?" He asked finally as we got into his car.
It was a long time before I answered, tears overflowing my eyes again. "My dad's not doing well. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to talk about it." I whispered. I raised my hand, and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
Niall's face crumpled. He knew my dad and I were close. "Aw, El, it's gonna be okay. He's always okay, you know that." He told me.
He took one hand off the wheel, and reached to me, then hesitated, and drew his arm back. He blinked hard, and the expression on his face was killing me.
The rest of the ride was spent in silence. When we arrived at the hospital, I tore through the parking lot, keeping a hand on my black cap to keep it from flying off.
A fat security guard stopped me inside. "Excuse me, miss? There is no running here."
"My dad!" I blurted, "He could be dying right now! He needs me!"
Niall nodded breathlessly behind him.
"Alright," The guard said, "Go to the waiting room, then the counter. Ask for his name or room number, the nurse up front will take you."
"Thank you!" I called, and darted off, Niall at my heels.
"No running! It's dangerous!" The officer yelled angrily.
"Yeah! I'm really gonna kill someone while running through a empty hallway!" Niall shot back sarcastically.
I almost laughed.
"Watch it! I'm coming!" He yelled, and started to come after us.
"I'm so terrified I'm about to piss my jeans, Fat Pants!" I yelled back, allowing myself a small smirk. Sarcasm rules the world.
I heard Niall's laugh beside me. We made it to the waiting room and flew to the front counter.
"John Castings. Quick, quick, quick!" I snapped my fingers, and the nurse led us to room 19 after shooting me a dirty look.
I flipped her off, much to Niall's amusement.
Today was a day of no shame.
"I'll wait out here." Niall said.
My mood darkened again, and I nodded.
I opened the door to the room, and shut it behind me.
"Ella!" I felt someone hug me.
"How's Dad, Jen?" I asked the girl who had her arms wrapped around me.
Her dark hair was tucked away from her pale face. Her eyes, dark and wide, we're darkened further from her straight bangs. At 22, she was a young nurse, but very well trained.
Jen sniffed loudly. She always treated my father, every time he came. "He had some type of seizure, but he calmed down now. It wasn't good. He's asleep, resting. He fell asleep a bit before you got here."
I nodded, and sat next to his bed. My father's hair had turned a little grayer, his cheeks were sunken in, and his skin pallor was a bit yellow.
Tears flooded my eyes. He'd never looked healthy here, but this was the worst yet.
I laid my small hand in his large one. After about five minutes, his green eyes, the ones like mine, opened, and he gave a weak smile when he saw me.
"Ella." he said.
A few tears leaked out. "Sshh. Don't cry. If you're gonna cry, then leave and come back when you're finished." He told me, but his own eyes were a bit wet.
I smiled. "I went through lots to get to this room." He loved stories.
He shuffled his position. "Tell me." He shut his eyes lightly.
He always did when I told stories; "To fully imagine it." he would say.
I was hesitant about Niall. But if my father was going to... Die... I needed to be honest with him.
So I told him. Everything. He frowned deeply at Niall's name, but didn't say anything or open his eyes.
"And we ran in, and this extremely fat cop said there was no running. So I was like "My dad. Need to see him!" and then he told us what to do to get to the rooms, blah, blah, blah. And so then we said thanks, and ran again. He yelled at us to stop running because it was dangerous. So Niall yelled back at him, "Yeah, I'm really gonna kill someone while running through an empty hallway!" and so then he said he was coming after us. And you know me, Dad, so of course.. I may have said something." I smirked a little.
"What did you do, Ella?" Dad asked knowingly.
I giggled. "I told him that I was so terrified I was about to piss my jeans. And I called him Fat Pants. And then we ran some more, and I flipped off an Asian nurse."
Dad opened his eyes, and barked out a wheezy laugh. He was not doing well. He peeked down at my jeans, probably to help with the image he was previously producing in his mind.
He smiled. "You're wearing the jeans I picked out last month."
I glanced at them. Dark, skinny at the top, but flared at the bottom. My faux-fur trimmed black boots peeked out from under.
"Yeah." I squeezed his fingers gently.
Just then, my stomach gave a loud growl. My dad rolled his eyes. He always had such a good spirit. "Go get some crisps or something. There's a vending machine somewhere here."
"But-"
"No buts. No one likes you when you're hungry." he said. I do get some my "charming" personality from him.
"Fine." I said grudgingly.
"Go. Shoo." he waved me off, raising his arm with some effort. His voice shook a little.
I frowned slightly, but made no comment. I got up, but at the door, Dad stopped me.
"One more thing, Ella." he said.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"Don't ever let him hurt you again."
I gulped. "I won't."
"I love you, too, El. Don't ever doubt it."
"I won't"
I pushed the memory back as fast as I could.
"Love you, Ella."
"Love you too, Dad."
I wiped my face clear of any more tears, and walked out.
Niall was sitting on the ground outside, knees tucked to his chest.
"Hey." he started to get up. "Where you going?"
"Vending machine."
"Can I come?"
I hesitated, before shrugging.
His clear blue eyes met mine. For a fraction of a second, I could almost feel myself reaching for his hand, but I tore my gaze away from his and walked.
The only sound we heard in the quiet hallways were the clicks of my boots on the white tile.
It took us ages to find the vending machine, but we finally spotted it in one corner.
"Food!" I cried, and darted towards it.
I could almost feel Niall's smile from behind me, and I stiffened.
"Don't ever let him hurt you again."
I bought a bag of Cheetos. I loved Cheetos. Best crisp-type-things ever to be created. Niall bought a chocolate bar, and for a second, we stood there, my back to the rest of the hallway, eating the food.
"Shit." Niall mumbled suddenly.
I whirled around. Fat Pants was storming toward us, but, because of his weight, he wasn't very fast. My eyes widened.
"Oh no. Fat Pants is not happy." I said.
"We gotta run!" Niall said.
"We're in a corner, moron! Where else do we have to run?" I hissed.
"The stairs, maybe?" Niall said in a 'duh' tone, gesturing to the door with a sign that said "Stairs".
"Shut up, moron."
"Hey, you kids! Get back here!" He yelled.
"Sorry, Fatty! We're a bit occupied at the moment!" Niall yelled back, grinning.
"This is serious business!" He roared.
"I'm sure it is, Fat Pants! But we're wasting time waiting for you! So bye!" I said, and ducked through the door to the stairs.
I always was a sassy one.
We raced down two flights of stairs, and somehow found our way back to Room 19.
"3... 2... Clear!" We heard someone order from inside.
And then nothing.
My face paled. "Jen? Jen?" I called frantically, hoping she was somewhere near.
The dark-haired girl emerged with a cart of various hospital things I didn't know the name of.
"What's wrong with him?" I demanded sharply.
Jen flinched, and I immediately regretted my rude tone, "His... His heart... Just stopped." She whispered, not meeting my eyes.
I don't remember pushing away the strong arms that held me close as I sobbed hard and long. My nose was stuffy, so I couldn't smell much, but I just barely caught the smell of Armani and peppermint.
I couldn't help it. I wanted to push him away, push away this boy who hurt me, but I couldn't. He was so warm, strong, steady, and comforting.
And my father was dead.
I also don't remember bending down, but I opened my eyes a little, and saw myself on the ground of the hospital, with his arms wrapped around me tight.
"Is this real?" I whispered in his ear.
It was a while before he answered. "I think so."
I broke into another fit of sobs, and he drew me closer to his warm body.
My father was gone.
NIALL'S POV
Her body felt so small and frail. The fabric on my shirt was wet with her tears. She had cried into it for at least 2 hours.
Her dad was dead- Who could blame her?
I stroked her brown mane of curly hair. It'd been ages since I'd done that. I never thought she'd ever let me do it again. She flinched away every time we came close to touching.
She looked up from my shoulder. Her wet green eyes were rimmed in red, and her face was streaked with tears. "Is this real?" She asked. Her voice cracked, and her lip quivered.
I took my time answering. "I think so." I said finally.
She started crying again, so I pulled her petite body closer to me.
"Sshh. It's okay. When all of this is over, you can come to England with me. You can live with me and the rest of the boys. They'd love you." I whispered to her.
She whimpered. I started running my fingers through her hair again, humming to her.
She started to relax a little, so I sang to her.
"You're insecure
Don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk the do-o-or
Don't need makeup
To cover up
Bein' the way that you are is eno-o-ough
Everyone else in the room can see it
Everyone else but you-ou
Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
And when you smile at the ground
It ain't hard to tell
You don't know oh-oh
You don't know you're beautiful oh-oh
That's what makes you beautiful" I sang to her softly.
That nurse- was it Jen?- Walked out of a nearby hospital room. When she saw me singing and holding Ella she shot me a dirty look.
Ella sniffled and looked up. "I need to talk to her." She whispered hoarsely.
It wasn't like she said no before, might as well ask. She needed someone, I needed her, and I was leaving in two days."Wait. Will you come? With me to London?" I asked, gripping her hand.
Her large green eyes, filled with grief, met mine, and her lower lip trembled. "I don't know."
She got up with some effort, and walked slowly to the nurse, who led her out of my range of hearing.
ELLA'S POV
"Ella, what was he doing?" Jen demanded me, dark eyes wide.
I swallowed, not meeting her eyes. "He was just comforting me." I muttered.
"Don't let him hurt you, Ella. He's done enough of that already."
I fidgeted awkwardly. "I know."
"So, what was he saying to you before you got up?" She asked curiously.
I hesitated before I answered her. Why lie to the only friend I had? "He offered to take me to London with him and his bandmates."
There was a few minutes of awkward silence before she replied me. "Do you want to go?"
"No. I don't know."
It was an even longer silence this time. "I think you should go."
My head snapped up. "My dad said before he-"
Jen interrupted me, "He said not to let him hurt you, and I just did, too. So don't. But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! It's One Direction we're talking about! Besides, no offense, Ella, but what do you have left here? You have this chance, this great chance! Take it!" Jen said, pushing back a lock of her straight dark hair that fell out of the knot in her hair.
"But-"
"It's Niall." She to finished for me. "I get it. He hurt you really bad. But he let you go. And you're amazing! Show him what he's missing, girl!" Jen grinned at me briefly, but she must have seen my red eyes and nose, because her wide smile fell.
I considered her words. I couldn't stay at home too long, it would hurt too much because of my father. "I'll tell you in the morning if I'm going or not." I said.
"Alright. Go get some sleep. Call me as soon as you've decided. And it better be tomorrow." Jen pushed me away.
Niall got up. "You okay?" He reached out for my arm.
I flinched away, and his face fell. I didn't need his comfort right now. I wasn't as vulnerable, and had gotten my head back.
His vivid blue eyes met mine. They showed such sadness, such a degree of sadness that I had never seen in him before.
Then it hurt. It added to the pain of my deceased father. It hurt a lot to see him like that.
I caused it.
Now
December 14th, 2012
"Jen?"
"Ella! Are you going?" Jen's pretty voice asked through the phone the next day.
My voice was hoarse from all the crying I did from yesterday and last night. ".... Yes."
"OMIGOSH!" Jen squealed. "Go call him! Right now! And then call me back!" Jen ended the call, and I sighed.
My finger hovered over his name on my contacts, and then I pressed it.
"Ella?" Niall's voice was surprised.
"Were you serious about taking me to England?" I blurted.
"... Yeah." He seemed taken aback.
"... I'll go."
"Really?" He asked me.
"Yeah."
"Alright! The flight's on the 16th. I'll pick you up at seven in the morning that day.. I'll get your ticket now."
"No, I'm pay-"
"Too late." And he hung up.
What was with people hanging up on me today?
I called Jen back.
"What'd he say?" She said the second she answered.
"He said he was serious, we're going on the 16th, and he's picking me up at seven that day."
"Alright, I know there's no wifi on planes, but you need to chat me then! I can IM at 8:30, and you can by wifi for like five bucks. So you better chat me! Can I come over?" She rambled.
I rolled my eyes at her eagerness. "Sure. I need help figuring out what to pack anyways."
The rest of that day was spent flinging clothes around my room with Jen.
Later that night, I sat on my bed, alone. And I broke.
I fell into a large fit of tears, snot, and an overload of sadness and pain.
My dad, John Sam Castings, was the kindest man you would ever meet. He never took anything for granted, and, unlike me, was good at being a lover, not a fighter, and always being nice.
He never loved me any less because my mom died giving birth to me. Sometimes I think it just made him love me more, because, like I said, he never took anything for granted. Especially my mom, so when she left this world, he had me.
His sicknesses started when I was about 4. A few times, I was almost sent to an orphanage because some people believed he couldn't take care of someone when he was like that.
But I stayed with my father. I was glad I did. I could never find a kinder dad than him.
To think he was gone was the worst feeling I'd ever felt in my life. When Niall left, I had Dad. With Dad now gone... I have no one.
Except for maybe Jen, but I couldn't always rely on her to be able to talk to me now. She would be in Mullingar, I would be in England, add to the fact that she was a nurse. She only worked certain days, but still.
I wept my eyes out until it seemed like my entire bed was soaked. I think I cried for more than just my dad. I think I cried about Niall, too. He was back, Dad was dead, and I was going away with the boy that broke my heart.
But I knew he'd always be with me. He'd always be there, no matter what, or who, broke me next.
(Flashback)
April 8th, 2010
I shuffled out of my bedroom that morning. One month and 5 days after Niall left me.
My dad was making eggs, pancakes, and bacon. Though it was difficult because of his wheelchair, he seemed to be managing.
I pulled my hair away from my face, and walked over to him. I hadn't spoken a single word ever since reading that note. Not one. Then when I looked into my father's eyes, the ones identical to mine, I couldn't stand to do that to him.
Niall may have hurt me, but now I was hurting my dad.
So I braced myself, and parted my lips.
"I love you, Daddy."
(End of flashback)
Now
December 16th, 2012
The doorbell rang that morning right at seven. I answered it, knowing I looked like shit, even if I had tried everything I could to make myself at least look like a human being.
I failed.
NIALL'S POV
I stared at Ella the second she opened the door. The under of her eyes were very dark and pronounced, more than usual.
Ella always had dark circles, even as a child. They were just... There. Always had. No matter how hydrated she was. No matter how much sleep she got.
Some people may have considered that imperfect, but I think it only added to her stunning beauty.
"Ella, how are-"
Tears filled her eyes as she cut me off. "Don't. Just-Don't." Her voice shook.
I reached out to put my palm on her shoulder, and she jerked away.
So we were back to this again...
Why do you even try, Niall?
Because she's my princess, my one and only. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her back.