And when I loved you, I realised, I have never truly loved anyone, I realised, I will never truly love someone the way that I love you. ~ Unknown.
Valentin:
Past (2 years and 2 months ago)
Useless. fucking useless. I pay these fuckers to do their job sufficiently, to get their work fucking done. But, they can't even do that right. Inoperative shit.
Fifteen million euros gone. My hard-earned supplies. All fucking went. It's times like this when I begin to question hiring incompetent dickheads to do my work, when I can do it better myself.
Papers were scattered over my desk; the threat of the Russian's were becoming worse. They had now stolen thirty million euros from my corporation; thousands of grams of supplies. High jacking my men at business exchanges. Sneaky bastards. They are fucking with the wrong man.
I will skin them alive, bring their crime organisation to pill of ash that lays between my palms. They will die, every single last piece of filth that stole from me, that tried to derange my enterprise. Fucking scum.
My hands balled into fists, my muscles tensing from the mere thought of watching the life drain from their vile beings. To feel their trachea crush beneath my hand, to watch their eyes plead with mine, watering- crying from their lack of oxygen.
And when they are on the edge of life, I will drop them to the ground, let them inhale a breath of air and then do it all over again. Until they are no longer begging me for the mercy to keep them alive but are begging me to the contradictory; to end their existence on this earth.
Erase them of ever being imprinted upon this earth, not even a whisper of a memory to remember them by. What I wouldn't do?
A smirk made its way upon my face, my body eager to inflict the pain upon the culpable prey. Sitting in my chair, I began to think of my next steps.
Would I attack today? Tomorrow? How and where? Or should I wait, lead them into a cunning trap? I guess we will find out.
Picking up my phone, that was buried between a few sheets of paper. I aggressively punched in a number, waiting impatiently for the person to pick up.
"Sir." Alessio replied, attentive.
"You, Matteo and Francesco in my office now." I commanded, before pressing the end call button.
I sifted my hand through my hair in a frustrated manner, growing impatient and irritable about my current situation.
My wife is no longer within my hold, where she belongs. I ordered Alessio to pack her a bag and create a fraudulent cover story when I were sending her away so that she wasn't in the crossfire of myself and the Russians.
Although, I wanted to make her think that she had escaped me, when really; she had not. My naive little Leonessa.
Oh, how I couldn't wait to have her back in my arms. I thought, slightly smiling at the thought of her.
She was the most beautiful being I had ever had the grace of laying my eyes upon. Her periwinkle blue eyes, stunningly glimmering within the natural light of her entity. She was the personification of pure beauty, putting the angels in the azure sky to shame.
Her eyelashes; infinite. Like feathers, fluttering along the tops of her cheeks. Along with her plump, velvety lips. Always settled in a pout. Adorable.
The smoothness of her peachy skin, always felt like silk with the palm of her hands.
Her beguiling, inexhaustible smile never failed to snatch the breath from out of my throat. However, I haven't had the pleasure of witnessing it recently.
No wonder, you have treated her in a despicable manner. You don't treat the woman you love with such dishonour.
I know. I know that. I crave to treat her like the majestic woman that she is, but the thought of her leaving me sickens me. I can't risk losing her, I will not allow that. That may be selfish of me, to hold her against her will and dictate her life, but that is the man that I am.
My pride gets the best of me, I can't allow her to see me weak. Not because I was embarrassed or humiliated, I wanted her to see every inch of me. But, because she would try to change me; I cannot, and I will not change. Not for anyone.
I hate to witness the streaks of tears creating a waterfall down her delicate cheeks, I hate to see her wallow and fade away. But, she isn't drowning in the world of darkness because she refuses to leave the light. She was truly a rare specimen. All mine.
Three loud knocks sounded from the doors of my office. I stiffened my posture, before stating in a deep voice.
"Come in."
The shuffle of feet from behind the doors was of nervousness. Causing me to smirk internally. The doors opened simultaneously, Alessio, Matteo and Francesco walking through, one behind the other.
Tilting my chin upwards to demonstrate my authority, I appointed.
"Francesco, I want you to track the recent activities of the 'триады', the statistics, patterns. Everything. I want to know what they are up to. I want them on my desk in four hours, not a minute early, not a minute late."
Francesco was my most trusted and most skilled technician, if anyone could get me the details in what I wanted, it would be him. He is a reliable and trustworthy source.
"Yes, Sir." He replied, his face stoic.
"Leave." I demanded, dismissively.
Turning to Matteo, I command lowly.
"Go to 'ectasi', Vladimir is waiting. Find out what the Russian's are planning next. If he tries something or appears as if he is hiding something. Kill him. But, not before compressing the answers from out of his pathetic being." My tone was no-nonsense, my hands gripping the edge of my desk at the sheer thought of the Russians.
He nodded callously, before turning on his heel and leaving.
I exhaled audibly, before focusing my attention on Alessio.
"Enzo will be arriving in the next hour, I expect you to be here, to record his findings." I stated firmly, frowning.
He nodded his head once, but it appeared as if he wanted to say something. So, I nodded my head, in a way for him to continue.
Clearing his throat, he says plainly.
"Will you be present, Sir?"
"Yes. Yes, I will, anything involving my wife, I will always be present." I answered, straightening up.
I rounded my desk and took a seat in my chair, nodding at Alessio to also take the seat before me. Resting my elbows upon the desk, I ask.
"How are you?" My voice lacked any emotions.
"Well Valentin, you?" He responded, now addressing me informally.
Alessio was an old friend of mine, more like a younger brother. I look out for him and he looks out for me. I may treat him coldly, but I did care. We were friends, but when it came to business we were no longer. But, a boss and his second in command. Acquaintances.
He was my most trusted man, and so far, he hadn't broken that loyalty. He understood the line between being professional and being 'normal'. And he knew when and how to use them both, however, I wouldn't class myself, him or any of my other associates as 'normal'. Far from it in fact.
"As well as I situation allows me to be. I never thanked you appropriately for securing Valentinia's safety." I said, genuinely.
Valentinia was my top priority, my most precious possession. Her needs and security came before anything and anyone else.
"You're welcome. She's a good one you captured Val. A rare emerald in a world of coal. You're a lucky man." He stated, with what seemed to be a look of admiration with a hint of jealousy within his voice.
"That I am. Valentinia is divergent from the rest and I knew that the second my eyes laid upon her rare beauty. And within that fraction of a second, she became my one, my only." I answered honestly, but sternly. My voice held a slither of threat within it, warning him.
He nodded, before asking in a curious, yet eager manner.
"How did you know?" He leant slightly over the desk, ambitious to receive my answer.
"How did I know what?" I replied, tilting my head to the side in subtle confusion.
"How did you know that you loved her?" He corrected himself. His eyes were submerged in what seemed to be an ocean of wonder, yet for a question in which I did not know how to answer.
Clearing my throat, I begin to think of how to answer his question.
"That, Alessio. That, I, unfortunately, don't hold the answer too. You will find the answer to it one day when you find the person in which belongs to you, and you to them. My interpretation of it will be prejudice and bias compared to others, everyone has a unique definition, not one the same." My response came from the hollow crater in the centre of my chest.
"Hopefully." He muttered, before leaning back.
He winced, holding his ribs with his casted arm. But, quickly masked his painful expression with impassiveness.
Standing up, I walked over to the side cabinet, grabbing some aspirin before throwing at Alessio. He caught it with his uninjured arm, before grunting appreciatively.
"So, I am curious to know what you and Valentinia spoke about whilst I was away on business?" I said, cocking my eyebrow in curiosity.
He swallowed the pills before answering, however, he avoided eye contact, which caused suspicion to peek throughout my body.
"Nothing much, she wouldn't talk. She is feisty though along with stubborn and funny. She scolded me for not doing my washing up and leaving it to Edna." He chuckled, recalling the memory.
"Is that all?" I questioned, giving him the chance to extend his answer with the truth.
My stance was rigid, with my arms folded across one another.
"Yeah, pretty much. Other than her snarky attitude she was kind and surprisingly understanding. She didn't judge me, which is peculiar. Human's instinct is too automatically judge another individual without even knowing them." He answered flawlessly, not missing a beat.
I observed him from head to toe, looking for any signs that he was withholding any information. His left foot tapped against the floor, a characteristic that emitted nervousness.
"Hmm..." I mumbled, clicking my tongue against my teeth, in mock puzzlement.
My jaw clenched in anger at his refusal to reveal the truth.
"How long have we been friends, Alessio? Eleven years. Don't you think I would know when you are lying to me? I'm disappointed. But, I am going to give you one more chance to spill the truth and trust me, if you still deny and refuse... A few broken ribs and a broken arm will be the least that you have to worry about." I gritted out, my tone containing an underlying threat.
His skin lost its pigment, draining like water down a drain. Beads of sweat bubbled upon his ghostly flesh.
"She is a curious soul; her questions were endless. She was reluctant to speak to at first, taking my prior rudeness towards her to heart..." He trailed off, getting tangled up in his thoughts.
Which in turn, caused my eyebrows to scrunch up at his strange antics.
"Continue, Alessio." I commanded him, causing him to snap out of his dreamland.
Adjusting himself, so that he was in a comfortable position in the chair, he resumed his recollection of that day.
"She asked me about you... wondering why you were the way you were. I told her a briefing, but nothing in much detail, nothing of importance, or anything that destroyed your chance of thoroughly explaining it to her. She asked for me to broaden the information, however, I told her that was not my story to tell.
She respected that, but she didn't hide her disappointment. Then she asked me about how I met you, I told her that anecdote as that was mine to tell. She was perplexed and shocked at your generosity, her eyes sparkled with an emotion that I hadn't seen before within her orbs.
I got to know a part of her that day, not all of her but a summary. She doesn't hate you Valentin, nor does she pity or love you. But, I think she had begun understanding you. Not what you do or your violent nature. But, she has begun understanding why you are so cold-hearted.
She's a good woman Valentin, I'm not telling you what to do, but I advise you to treat her respectfully and maybe she will treat you the same. But, you can't expect her to love you, respect you or even care about you if you keep on punishing her for something she has no control of.
When you defeat the 'триады' and I don't doubt for a millisecond that you will not. Go and get your wife and show her how much you appreciate her and how much you love her, I know it will take a lot of time for you to gain her trust. But, all you can do is try. Show her that you will spend the rest of your life-redeeming yourself, to earn her respect.
You don't deserve her Valentin, I don't think anybody does, but you already know that. You treat her the way you do because you are so scared of fucking losing her or her leaving you because you have a fear of her not accepting you. So, you took away her free will, therefore prohibiting her from her rights of living how she wishes to live.
You need to make that right, and that is not by charging over to her and snatching her back, locking her away from the world for only your eyes to witness. Give her time to adjust to the world again, allow her to experience freedom. Then, when you have snapped back to reality, you can go to her and you beg on your knees for her to give you a chance.
And if she gives you a chance, in which is slim. You will spend the rest of your life living for her." He finished, breathing heavily. His words shone with nothing but candidness.
Honestly, I was caught off guard, I didn't know what to respond with. I knew he was right, I knew I was wrong. But, that didn't halt the anger that I felt running like fire through my veins, igniting fury from within me. My teeth grated along one another, trying to get me under control.
Oh, but you can't do that, ca you Valentin? Even Valentinia knew that. You want to control others, but you can't even control yourself. My subconscious taunted.
Alessio stood up, turning to leave my office. But, before he left, he said.
"I am not judging you, Val, I am your friend. My loyalty will always lie with you. But, you need to take your head out of your ass and realise that treating her like that will only make you lose her. In which, you fear the most." And with that, he exited the room. Leaving me to my thoughts.
Since when did he become a fucking psychiatrist? I thought, rolling my eyes.
I am not fucking stupid or brainless, I knew the way that I treated my Leonessa was wrong. It was fucking immoral and cruel. But, I do love her. I do. And I will get her back, whether she or anyone else with an irrelevant opinion like it or not. She belongs to me.
But, I will give her the time that she needs to recover, to experience this 'freedom' that she craves. But, she will return to where she belongs; with me, in my arms. And this time she will remain there, she will not escape me again.
***
Hours later, consisting of paperwork a knocking sound from my door. Enzo
"Come in." I state, my voice lacking emotion.
The doors open and in walks in Alessio with Enzo following behind him. I signature my hand to the tow awaiting seats before my desk, in which they obediently take.
Placing my papers to the side and propping my feet up on my desk, I demand.
"So, what has my little Leonessa been up to Enzo?" The smirk was evident in my voice, a slight mock alongside it.
He smirked in response, before laying a thick file upon my desk. Containing all of the details I craved to know about my defiant Leonessa.
Translations:.
Leonessa:. Lioness
Adorabile:. Adorable
Word count:. 3019