Back in Los Angeles, the world finally began to smile at me again.
The things that had happened in the past few weeks were still very present to me, but I had found the right way to supress them completely inside me so it wouldn't hurt, after all, if she doesn't care about me, why should I care about her?
I went out a couple of nights with the boys, always bribing the guard at the door of the place to let me go through . I had had an excellent time. I had met a lot of single girls and had even earned the number of a couple of them. My harmonies were getting better, as if getting rid of Ashley improved my life in some way or another: at least I liked to see it in that way.
Still, when I scanned the crowd around me always I seemed to see her face.
Jay and I had gone to lunch after the start of the turn of the others in the study. It was a sunny day in California, the type that characterizes the region. We decided to sit at the outside of a small gourmet restaurant we found near the offices of the recording studio. I could see my reflection in Jay's sun glasses and I bet he could do the same on mine. Beside us, people of all ages walking along the boulevard riding their bikes, skates or skateboards, always smiling and listening to music. A little further, we could see the palm trees moving to the sound of wind and the sand reflecting the sun, in addition to the dark Pacific Ocean.
As we read the menu, I heard girly giggles near us. I tried to surreptitiously turn around only to find some girls watching Jay and me with interest.
—We never pass unnoticed, do we? —Jay asked when he noticed it too, and I laughed low.
I turned back and motioned to the girls who were a few few feet of us to come over a little closer. After putting a little surprised expressions, they walked towards us and both Jay and I stood up.
—Hello, nice to meet you. —Said one of them and smiled shyly. She stuck out her hand for me to shake it, but I pulled her into a hug.
—Are you fans? —Jay asked amicably.
—The biggest ones. —A brunette girl replied.
We did the usual: take pictures with all of them, sign autographs and try to know them a little. It was always good to know about the people who support you. After a few minutes, they had to leave, but not before saying goodbye with a hug and promising that we would follow them on Twitter.
Jay and I sat down again, and I put a face puzzled when I saw that Jay was laughing softly. —What? —I asked, settling down in my chair.
—It's amazing how much you flirt. —He began to read the menu again.
—I suppose it's something natural.
There was a moment of silence, until Jay continued the conversation. —I don't believe you when you say you're fine.
I was going to reply, but just then a waiter came to take our orders. We both told him what we wanted to drink and eat, and he immediately left.
I let air through the nose in frustration. —I'm not saying I'm fine, I'm just doing my best to try to get unstuck.
—It's not that I have favoritism or anything, but I think she doesn't deserve to be forgotten so fast, you know. —Jay said, and I knew that he had already entered the serious part of the story.
—I know, she's... —I stopped myself. I couldn't give myself the chance to think about all the many things that she is—. Anyway, I know I'll never forget her, but I can try to move on. —Jay was silent and I also stayed silent—. Maybe it was meant to happen, you know, this was never our strongest area. We had to get to a point where the two of us simply collapsed.
—Just don't act like she's the only one in the world for you. —Jay commented—. Oh, and whatever happens, even if you hate her, she is still my friend, so you better get used to having uncomfortable moments.
—Being uncomfortable is my innate talent, Jay.
The waiter brought the drinks and a few minutes later he brought the food.
The rest of the day passed by quietly.
At night, we had our usual meeting at the end of the day in Nano's room. We were all a bit more relaxed, because our schedules were more flexible now after planting new shifts in the recording booth. We knew that we were still missing a lot more time to send the album to the label for the control before they could release it to the market, but for God's sake, everyone knows that we are The Wanted and we never do things in time.
After talking a bit more about business stuff, the boys began to bother me, as always. On one hand, it was good to be the baby of the band, but there were times I really couldn't stand it.
—So Nathan... —Max began—. Why don't you call Dionne? She has always been your friend with benefits, you know, as you are no longer with Ashley.
—I think it's too soon, Max. —I answered.
—I thought you were already fine. —Tom commented.
—Even if I am, I don't want to start creating rumors when break-up rumors haven't even started. Also, I think that if everyone thinks I'm cheating on someone, it will completely ruin my image as a man, in addition of the band's image as well.
—As you wish, Nathalie, I'm just worring about you and your genitals. —Max said.
I took a sip of what I was drinking.
—It's not that I'm getting into your personal life or anything, Nathan, —Siva commented— but you obviously need Ashley back. Now.
—I know you say it with the best intentions —I said to Siva—, but I'd really thank if you guys don't worry about me, or my feelings or my genitals —I glanced at Max—, believe me when I say that I'm all right. I just had a relapse because I was not expecting any of this. But I'm doing my best, really.
They just merely nodded.
After being with them for a while after that, I left and went to my room. I changed and got comfortable in my bed. I checked my social networks and my email and turned on the TV to see if I could find a good program to watch. Nothing. I never found American television good.
I don't know what the hell happened to my body, or what forces from beyond influenced me, or of I did it unconsciously, but I did the unexpected: I called Dionne.
I quickly looked for her number in my contacts and without thinking it twice, I took my phone to my ear.
—Hello? —She replied after three rings.
—Erm... Hi Dionne. —I said, already regretting what I had just done.
—Oh, hello darling. —I instantly I felt how her voice became a little more seductive and deep.
—I know this is strange and a little uncomfortable, but I was wondering where you were.
—I'm in America, why are you asking?
I cleared my throat. —Are you near Los Angeles? —I asked—. Are you busy? Why don't you stop by the Marriott to see if we have some drinks? I invite.
I heard the sound of a notification that I had recieved a new message within the call.
I could almost see how Dionne was biting her lip from the other side of the line. —Oh, honey, you know that I am always free and never turn any of your offers —she paused—, but I'm actually not near Los Angeles. I'd love to see you, but now I can't. What if we leave it for next week?
I pressed my eyes with my thumbs. Stupid. This was stupid. —No, it's o-okay. Leave it like this. I think next week I won't be here. Thank you.
—Oh, it's a shame. —She said dramatically—. You know I'm always a phone call away from you anytime. Keep in touch with me, eh?
—Sure. It's okay. —I sighed—. Goodnight.
I cut the call before I could continue talking with her and do more stupid things.
I checked the message that had arrived during the call.
From: Unknown Number.
"Good night, we're approching you from Lucy's Dinner. We wanted to ask about Ashley Underwood , as she hasn't come to work this week without notifying it before. We contacted you because in her registration form she put you as an emergency contact. If you happen to know something, we'd like for you to tell us. Thank you very much. "
I frowned and read a couple more time the message a little confused. I thought a bit before answering.
To: Unknown Number.
"Hello, as far as I know, she has been trying to concentrate on studying for her exams. If it is not too much to ask for, I would like to not be her emergency contact anymore. You can change it for her best friend's number, Roxanne Monroe. "
After I add Roxanne's number and sighed, I sent the message without regrets. At the end of the day, this was part of moving on, right? I was trying to leave the past and the memories behind, so I was doing it for a good cause.
The next morning, I woke up with my phone vibrating non-stop on the nightstand. Still sleepy, I stretched my arm and took it. I had at least 20 missed calls and 13 new texts, both from Roxanne and Josh.
I was a bit confused, so I just opened the first message.
From: Roxanne.
"Nathan, I need to talk to you. NOW. Call when you can. It is important, please. "
The other messages were more or less the same. It took me at least 8 more messages to get to the conclusion that it was something really important even though she repeated it like 3 times per message, so I called her.
She responded very quickly. —Finally! Thank goodness. —She exclaimed a little bit altered—. I've been calling you since about 2 hours ago. You better say you were too busy doing things with Ashley and that's why you didn't answer.
I don't know if it was because I was still sleepy or because she had spoken very fast, but all I could say was, —What?
She inhaled and exhaled desperately. —When is Ashley coming back?
—What are you talking about?
—She was supposed return more or less a week ago.
—Are you really this altered just because you don't know where you best friend is? —I rubbed my face with my hand—. Besides, what makes you think that she's with me?
—Well, because she told me. —She said, and before I could continue talking, she began again—. Anyway, Nathan, you need to tell her that they're looking for her at work, and she's not answering her phone. Ah, well, it was very sweet of you to cover her saying that she was just studying and wasn't traveling with you.
—Roxanne, what the hell are you talking about?
—Come on, Nathan. I never thought you were this dumb.
—I'm being serious. What do you mean she is traveling with me if you know we broke up about two or three weeks ago?
There was a tense silence. —That you guys what?
I exhaled through my nose. —I thought you two told each other everything.
—No, wait ... She told me personally that she was going to see you in England three weeks ago and I haven't heard of her since then.
—No offense, but maybe she wanted to stay away from your radar for a couple of weeks? — I yawned.
—Nathan. This is serious. —She paused—. I need you to tell me when was the last time you talked to her.
—Just a few days before we broke up, why?
—What did she say?
—When she broke up with me or—
—No, no. The last time you talked to her, what did she say?
—That she needed to focus on studying and therefore was going MIA for a while.
—Well, she told me that she was going to be with you. Which of the two is true?
—I assure you that she's not with me. —I said.
—And exams finished like two weeks ago, plus, I haven't seen her around campus in a while.
Suddenly everything clicked in my brain. I sat up in bed. —... Shit, Roxanne. I need you to buy me a plane ticket of any flight that's departing immediately to Boston and mail it to me. I'm on my way to the airport. I think Ashley might be in trouble.
—What are you saying? Are you drunk or are you just using your sarcasm?
—Do what I say. Please.
I ended the call.
I threw all my stuff in the bag, I changed and went to Nano's, who was with Big Kev.
I knocked on the door and Big Kev opened. —I'm leaving for Boston. It's an emergency. —I whirled around and began to walk quickly down the hall.
—What happened?
—It's very complicated, it's Ashley. I will not give you explanations because I'm in a hurry. —I said as I walked.
—Hey, Nath —I turned around to see Big Kev from the door while I waited for the damn elevator to arrived—, don't you ever say again that you don't care about her.
The last thing I saw before turning around again before entering the elevator was Big Kev's know-it-all smile.