Chapter Twenty-Six
Audrey woke abruptly from a sound sleep. She sat up and blinked several times, attempting to recognize her surroundings. She'd been dreaming of Ance's calloused hands roaming her body and the tingles still resonating throughout her body told her that the dream had been a very good one....
But a dream was all it had been. The last two nights, Penelope had been plagued with nightmares and having a hard time sleeping so Audrey had cuddled her and held her close and Ance had simply watched on...neither had attempted a repeat of what they'd shared at the river three nights ago.
Audrey was more than ready for all of this to be over. She was angry that her daughter had been put through such terrors simply because of a selfish man's blind desires and wounded pride. Every time Penelope whimpered during her nightmares, no doubt seeing images of the terrible men who had so far attempted to harm her, Audrey had felt a helpless rage grow stronger within her. She would do anything to protect her daughter but she had no way of fighting dreams.
Audrey heard a groan and instinct had her glancing at Penelope before her good sense told her the groan had been far to deep to have come from her daughter.
Her head whipped around to where Ance was sleeping on the other side of their dying fire and Audrey realized it was he who had been groaning. The man was writhing around in the dirt and appeared to be in pain as he battled with some unseen opponent.
Audrey pushed herself to her feet, careful not to disturb Penelope, and went to Ance's side. She crouched down and put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. Before she could whisper his name, his calloused hand shot out and closed tightly around her throat, cutting off her breath and any possibility of crying out.
Audrey felt panic clutch at her heart as she clawed desperately at his arm and fought to get away from his vice-like grip. Ance's fingers were like steel and Audrey knew there would be bruises--if he let go before she died from lack of oxygen.
Audrey managed to get her nails into his skin and she raked them down his forearm, fighting for dear life as her vision began to swim and her lungs burned. Ance's blue eyes flew open and the wildness in them did not bode well for her life.
Then slowly, he blinked, his eyes widened and he released his hold on her just as quickly as he had taken it. Ance's sat up quickly, scooted back a bit and hopped to his feet as Audrey stayed on her knees and coughed due to the sudden rush of air to her abused lungs.
"Audrey...." Ance whispered. "Damn, lady, are you alright?"
Audrey managed to nod as she rubbed at her throbbing neck. "I'll be fine," she rasped. "Next time I wake you up, it'll be with a stick from a good long distance."
Ance took hold of her elbow, much more gently than he had her throat, and pulled her up to her feet. He positioned her beside the fire, put his finger under her chin and tilted her head. Audrey's heart thundered at his nearness but any thoughts of romance quickly vanished when she heard his quick intake of breath followed by a string of curses that were quite colorful.
"Dammit, Audrey, ya gotta let me be when I get like that. I didn't mean to hurt you," Ance scolded.
Audrey scoffed. "I hardly think it's my fault, Ance. You were having a nightmare and I was simply trying to comfort you just as I would Penelope."
Ance released his hold on her and stepped back, glaring every moment. "I don't need to be coddled like some goddamn child, Audrey."
Audrey mocked his angry facial expression as she put her hands on her hips. "Fine, I'll never do anything to show I care about you again, you damn ogre."
Ance's brow quirked up. "Ogre?"
Audrey shrugged one shoulder. "Well you are grumpy enough to be one...and you smell," she threw in for good measure.
Ance laughed quietly as he shook his head. "I hate to tell you this, lady, but you don't smell much better."
Audrey couldn't help but to laugh and a broad smile curved Ance's lips, drawing her attention to that scar that marred his cheek. "What were you dreaming of, Ance? Sometimes it helps to talk about our dreams to keep them from coming back."
The good humor left Ance's face. He growled at her and shook his head. "It ain't none of your damned business, Audrey. Don't be sticking your nose into places it don't belong."
Audrey felt the sting of his words but tried to remind herself that Ance was a wounded man and, just like with animals, wounded creatures often lashed out and bit the hand of the person who wanted to help them. She cocked her head to the side and looked into his blue eyes. "Ance, you know I'm right here... you can talk to me."
"I don't need anybody," Ance spat. "Stop petting on me like I'm some kind of puppy dog. I've been alone my whole life and fending for myself and I sure as hell don't need some meddlesome woman attempting to fend for me now."
With that Ance stomped away into the darkness. Audrey chewed her lip as she saw him take a seat on a rock, his broad shoulders and large frame illuminated in the moonlight that was shining. Audrey was tempted to curl back up to Penelope and forget about the grumpy jackass but then she remembered the way he had been so attentive to her and to Penelope lately and the gentleness he had shown...
Ance had a big load he was carrying and Audrey knew it wasn't fair to make him shoulder it alone. Perhaps the man simply needed a push and he would let some of that anger go that he held onto so tightly. With a sigh, and a toughening of her skin, Audrey made her way through the darkness toward him and the glow of his burning cigar.
"Ance..."
"Leave me alone, Audrey. I've never had anyone and I don't need anyone now."
Audrey snorted and before she could stop herself, her hand shot out and smacked him roughly on the back of the head, knocking his hat off and sending it tumbling to the ground.
Ance quickly covered his head with his hand and turned his neck to look at her with wide eyes. "What the hell was that for?"
Audrey scraped her teeth across her lip and laughed lightly. "For being a stubborn, hard headed, horse's ass." When Ance simply glared, Audrey sat down beside him on the rock. She could feel the heat and power radiating from him and it stirred that desire back to life within her.
"Ance, you're not alone anymore and I don't believe you were perfectly content being alone before."
"I was..."
"No, you weren't. Everyone needs someone, Ance. Maybe not a forever someone or a constantly at your side someone but everyone needs to know they aren't completely alone in life."
Ance stared off into the night and chewed his cigar silently for a long while. Finally he sighed. "If I tell you about my damn dream will you leave me be?"
"I might," Audrey replied, her lips twitching with suppressed amusement.
Ance scratched at his bearded cheek. "I was dreaming about the night I got his," he pointed at his scar. "My mama was a whore in a brothel and that's where I was raised. She didn't have a bit of time or care for me but I was feeling sick one night when I was about Penelope's age. I decided that I would go to her in some foolish childish attempt to have a real mother. The man she was entertaining wasn't too happy and he busted a whiskey bottle across my face. I damn near died but an outlaw patched me up in another room and believe it or not my mama came to check on me...." Ance snorted. "Course she was drunk on brandy with all her lip stick and rouge smeared and her hair in a mess. She had a ruler in her hand and she screamed and yelled as she beat me with it. Then she left the room and I was alone with the outlaw again."
Audrey swallowed hard. What kind of monster did that to their son??? "Ance, I'm sorry..."
"What the hell are you apologizing for?" Ance snapped. "I don't reckon you're the whore of a woman who cared more about cock and brandy than her own flesh and blood child."
Audrey winced at the harshness in his tone. "No, but no child should have had to endure what you endured."
Ance shrugged. "It made me strong."
Audrey shook her head. "It made you cold," she countered.
"Gotta be cold to make it in this world," Ance replied stubbornly.
"Is that what you want for Penelope?" Audrey questioned, turning the tables on him. "For her to become cold and angry? To shut herself away from the rest of the world and lose every bit of her innocence and light? Do you want her to see the world as a dark mean place?"
Ance sighed as he pulled his cigar from his mouth and tossed it down upon the ground, snuffing out the flame beneath his scuffed boot. "No." He glanced up at the stars. "That's why I saved her from Barnaby." Ance met her eyes. "She has nightmares, Audrey, I know that, but trust me when I say that I saved her before they could kill her soul. These nightmares are nothing compared to what they'd have turned her into..."
Audrey laid her hand on his cheek and smiled comfortingly as tears pricked behind her eyes. "I know that, Ance. I will be forever grateful to you for saving her life and keeping her safe."
"You don't have to thank me, Audrey."
"I know I don't.. You're a good man, Ance. You have rough edges but a good heart."
"Don't be giving me more credit than I'm due, Audrey."
"I won't," Audrey bumped him with her shoulder. "My daughter was lucky to meet you. It's strange really when you think about it. Rodger took one father from her and then he turned around and, in a way, gave her another."
Ance swallowed hard and the expression on his face clearly said he feared for her sanity. "Father?"
Audrey laughed. "Yes. Penelope loves you, Ance, and you love her. It's plain to see that you care about her want to protect her and see that she's taken care of. Surely you had to realize that she would see you as her father."
Ance was quiet a moment and then he sighed. "I don't know the first thing about being a pa..."
"Well you're doing a pretty good job." Audrey stood up and held out her hand. "Now come on. Let's go get some rest."
Ance put his hand in hers. "I have a better idea," he growled before pulling her down on his lap. Audrey trembled when his warm lips laid tender kisses to the bruising and tender flesh of her throat. "I put bruises on you, Audrey. I'm sorry for that."
"It was my fault, Ance. I shouldn't have disturbed you during a nightmare."
Ance shook his head and looked into her eyes as his knuckle gently caressed the throat he had recently throttled. "I'll never hurt you again. I promise you that."