SORRY FOR GOING THROUGH TIME SO FAST AND THE LACK OF POV'S
ALSO I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE I'M GOING TO THE AMA'S IN LIKE 9 HOURS!!!!!!!!!! i have far seats so i probably won't meet any of the stars but i'll be breathing in the same air as like 100 of my favorite people that i've only seen in music videos and what not so i'll settle for that ☺
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Selena's POV:
Once I sense the low vibrate of my phone, I sit up in Harry's bed, my hair a mess and his t-shirt slipping off my shoulder. It is currently four in the morning, and looking out the windows, the skies are still dark and silent. Today is Christmas Eve or also, as he never lets us forget it, Louis's birthday. After that day we went ice-skating, Harry has been easing up to participate in activities together. Occasionally, we would both go jogging in the morning and then stop by Anne's to see her and Gemma. Seeing the relations between him and his family tighten makes me smile ridiculously. I'm happy he's warming up.
Also, my mum came home one day while Harry and I were having a pillow fight in the living room with the couch pillows. To say she was upset was an understatement. I remember how horrified I was to see her in the door with her bags, tired after traveling from continent to continent only to find me messing around with Harry. I had to awkwardly introduce them to each other and when she found out this guy, the same one who yelled at her rudely months previous, is now my boyfriend, she was frustrated. It was obvious she wanted to lash out at me and yell but she refused to treat me that way in front of him, with fears that he may see and think it is acceptable to deal with me in that manner. Although her reasons seemed a bit convoluted, I thanked God for her patience and decisions. She surely isn't too fond of him, but she manages to keep her judgment to herself, and then to me after he leaves.
And, she's coming home from Paris tomorrow morning. When she texted me an apology for leaving me alone but promising to be back for the holidays, I went out to purchase a gift for her--her favorite perfume that is only available in stores once a year. We have our annual Christmas dinner tomorrow night and it is the first time I am spending some quality time with her. I want to bring Harry along but I'm not too sure how that will go for both of them considering their attitudes toward each other are tense.
Deciding to worry about that later, I look to the boy with the sleepy smile, resting happily. I know I have to wake him up soon even though it's super early. Eleanor wants to throw a surprise party so she easily convinced Louis to stay over her home for the night while she expects us to decorate the apartment and finish the food. I volunteered to bake the cake much to Harry's utter dismay. Zayn and the girls are working on decorations while Niall and Liam clean. The whole house is filled with busywork and with El's strict demands, we were all scheduled to wake up this early to begin.
"Harry, get up," I nudge the heavy weight but he does nothing. He just continues to keep his eyes shut, his lips mumbling words I can barely understand. Sighing, I just get myself out of bed reluctantly. The cold contrast to the warm confines of the bed makes me shiver and regret leaving. My first plan is to turn on the heater so I won't freeze; when that's done, I look back to see Harry still snoring away peacefully. Walking closer to the dork, I consider letting him rest longer and just baking the cake by myself. I smile at how young and innocent he looks in his sleep and my heartstrings are tugged at the sight. Before I turn around to head out of the room by myself, I catch a few words falling from his mouth that makes me freeze in my steps.
"Sel, I love mmouh," the last word muffled by the pillow when he suddenly turns on his back. Damn.
Is he dreaming?
What is the last word?
My heart suddenly picks up at the possible idea of him thinking of those three words. I can't even fathom the thought of him saying them, let alone to me. I am aware of the intensity of affection we feel for one another but the concept of loving Harry never really hit me. Do I love him? Thinking of all that we've been through, I can say that he has made me quite happy and his subtle kindness is something I treasure. I know about his history so to think that I have the pleasure to experience and witness the true him reassures me that he really does care, enough to change his bad habits to suit me. Although our three to four months seem like a short amount of time, we pretty much spent almost every single day together and it feels like we've been together forever. There's no doubt I'm slowly fallling in love with him...
Maybe he's going to say it?
Eager to get that response out of him, I straddle his waist in attempts to wake him up.
Harry's POV:
Selena is lying against my chest and I have my arms wrapped around her waist as we lean against a tree, its shade shielding us from anybody. It's just the two of us, me with my chin on top of her head as she hums in delight at our position. Her hair smells like fresh apples and her skin reminds me of rose petals--beautiful, delicate, and smooth as hell. She shuffles around and her shirt rides up slightly, providing me the perfect chance to slide my fingers over her almost creamy-like mid-drift. Fuck, she's perfect.
"Harry," she mumbles, her lips brush against my chest when she lifts her head to look at me upside down.
"Yeah, baby?" I linger my lips near her collarbones.
"What are you thinking about right now?"
"I love you," the three words are blurted out without my mind even processing it. My eyes widen but a smile creeps to my face when she reciprocates it without a doubt, her eyes now lovingly gazing at my own.
My eyes flutter open when I sense a slight pressure on my lower half and kisses on my cheek.
"Wake up!" she says in between pecks and I feel the ends of my mouth curl up. My hands reach up to hold her waist and I feel my heart accelerate when I realize what I previously experienced was just a dream. It felt so fucking real and the fact that I initiated the three words without fear unconsciously scares me.
"Are you okay?" her fingers reach up to smooth the crinkles of my brows. The touch itself brings me so much relief, I effortlessly ease at the pads of her fingers.
"Yeah," I glance over at my bedside table only to see the clock say that it's four in the morning, "Why the bloody hell are we up?"
"We promised Eleanor remember?" she pulls back with a smile.
"No. I remember you promising Eleanor," I remind her, sitting up in the bed.
"Okay, I guess I'll just go make the cake myself. In the kitchen. Where everyone can see me. In these shorts," she shrugs, getting off and heading towards the door with a smirk.
She's fucking evil.
"Oh no you won't," I immediately throw off the covers and grip onto her hand, trailing behind as she victoriously leads us to the kitchen.
"See, that wasn't too hard," she mocks and I groan at the fact that she got her way. She needs to stop making me give in to her.
Her hands reach up to tie her hair into a bun that sits atop her head before proceeding to wash them. Pulling out ingredients I didn't even know we fucking had from the cabinets, Selena carefully places them on the counter before completeing the right measurements. I had no idea why I was even needed considering I can't do shit but watch her. She begins mixing the bowls and I observe how the texture of the mix smooths out and the smell of vanilla wafts through the room. Throughout the whole process, I keep her back pressed to me, my arms circling her waist, not wanting any of the guys to see her.
"It's a little hard to bake with your head on my shoulder, Harry," she comments before dropping dots of food dye into the cake, turning the previously white mixture into a bright blue, similar to Louis's eyes.
"Is it?" I tighten my grip as she pours it into a flat tray before lifting the oven door and sliding it in.
"Yes, it is," she closes it and sets the timer. Turning around in my grasp, she swipes some of her dirty fingers across my cheek, leaving some cream there. A smirk appears on my face as I reach into the bag of flour she did not put away yet and flick some onto her face.
"Harry," she whines and so begins the kitchen mess we make.
By the time we calm down and slide to the ground, we notice the havoc we wrecked. Her eyes widen in innocence and she looks horrifed at what we have done but I could care less. I loved every single bit of it. Staring at her with powder streaks across her brow and cream on her nose, I can't help admiring how amazing she is and how lucky I am to have her be mine and really mine. She's different from any girl I spent time with. She's my first real girl.
"I love y---" I cough once I realize what was about to slip out again, "I uhm, I love your baking."
I'm not sure if I'm just assuming or seeing things, but I thought a small glimmer of disappointment flashed in her eyes. Now, she just chuckles and I'm not sure if she's hiding it or if i"m just imagining it all.
"You haven't even tasted it yet, stupid," she softly smiles right when the loud blare of the timer sounds off, scaring us. She flinches at the obnoxious noise before standing back up to turn it off and pull on some mitts to take the cake out.
I follow her actions and silently gasp at the sight of a beautiful blue cake. It looks and smells just as incredible. She washes her hands again before picking up a bag of dark blue cream, bordering the cake and writing in her impeccable handwriting, "Happy Birthday Louis!" with an adorable smiley face following it.
As I'm about to comment about how wonderful her creation is, Liam barges in, gasping way too loud, that dramatic arse.
"What happened in here?!" his yelling causes Zayn and Niall to follow in suit as they all take in the mess we made.
"We better not have to clean that," Zayn remarks. I beat Selena in responding, simply demanding them to do it.
"If you don't, we won't. Then, Eleanor will be upset," I grin smugly and Liam sighs, complying. Good.
Selena's POV:
After the boys finished cleaning and Eleanor called to announce her and Louis's soon arrival, we all went to our respective hiding spots. It was a cliche surprise party, but it was fun nonetheless and nothing could beat Louis's amazing grin after he realized what we have done. He began with opening a bottle of wine as everyone indulged in all the food and cake set on the table. Streamers and balloons were everywhere as well as Christmas decorations, making the place festive as hell. After some crazy games between our close circle of friends, we all sat on the floor and watched Louis open gifts. He thanked us and it seemed as if we were all giddy, our cheeks rosy red except mine since I haven't dared to take any sip of alcohol.
My eyes wander towards the window, noticing the snow really pouring. I don't know if its the excitement bubbling in the room or the heat of the apartment, but I suddenly feel the urge to go outside and build snow angels or something. Harry looked drunk but content as he sat with my back against his chest. Glancing his way, I find that his eyes are closed, either asleep or just at peace. Although I want to shake him up and invite him to be childish with me, I also do not want to disturb him when he looks so relaxed. Quietly, I try to sneak out of his grip and head outside but his eyes open once he feels that I am no longer in his hold.
"Where are you going?" his voice is raspy from the sleepiness and drink.
"Outside," I beckon towards the white world through the window.
"Are you crazy?" he questions and I'm surprised he can form coherent thoughts after that many cups of alcohol. He must have built a strong resistance from all those years.
"Just a bit," I laugh as he shakes his head.
"No way in hell are you going anywhere."
"Make me!" I stick my tongue out, knowing I'm acting very immature but this is Louis's party and he's the king of messing around so it's totally normal. Without letting him catch up, I slip on a beanie and run out in my winter coat, rushing down the stairs and opening the doors to watch snowflakes fall on my face. I squeal and jump backwards onto the ground, feeling the cold touch me but I am not fazed by the chill. Waving my arms and legs, I create a snow angel and laugh. I haven't made one since last Christmas with Zac, Luke, and Vanessa. We just woke up early in the morning and went out to build snowmans and savor our inner kid.
"Selena!" I heard Harry huff. Looking up, I see that he also put on similar attire to me. He states that he refuses to join me in my activities before I can even ask, resulting in me pouting.
"Just, come on," he pulls me toward the outside of the door but I jerk him back forcefully.
"What the fuck, Selena?" he stares at me with wild eyes and I see his annoyance.
"There's mistletoe here," I quietly mutter, looking up with an innocent grin.
"Jesus, fuck, Sel, you're crazy but I love you," he groans before his eyes widen.
"You love me?" I search his face in astonishment. He just stands there speechless and now I can't hold back my smile.
"I love you too," I press myself closer to him, feeling his tense self slowly going back to his normal self.
"Really?"
"Really."
I lean in and he does the same, our hands intertwining before our lips meet. He smiles into the kiss and I'm so happy that he's happy. After we move away from each other's faces and begin to head back inside, I feel a yank on my hand.
"What?"
"Can you...can you say it again?" he asks.
I roll my eyes but nevertheless comply, "I love you, Harry. Very much."
"Again?"
"I love you."
"One more time?"
I sigh as we make our way back to the party upstairs.
Zayn's POV:
By the time the lovebirds return, I notice Harry giddy with joy and it's strange, weird as fuck, really, to see him with so much good emotion. If he's not pissed angry, he's usually neutral and expressionless. I even feel awkward seeing how wide his smile is.
"So, we're about to exchange Christmas gifts!" Perrie squeezes my side and I return the gesture. The clock strikes twelve and we all have our own personal plans for the holiday so we thought spending our time now would be appropriate. We crowd around the tree and find gifts with our names on it before taking turns, revealing what's inside. By the time we finished and have thanked everyone, I notice that Harry hasn't given Sel anything. She got him a snapback which he seems to really like and it is now awkward that there was nothing for her from him. Though, there is nothing for anyone from him. Harry doesn't do gifts, simple as that. It honestly surprised me that he wouldn't go out of his way for Selena, considering how many things he now does is all for her.
She didn't seem disappointed which is also another thing shocking as hell. I guess she knows his nature well enough not to expect anything.
"Well, I have to go home early in the morning, so I'll be heading to bed. I'm dead tired too," she comments, giving us hugs and holiday wishes before retreating to Harry's room. When she's out of sight, I raise my eyebrow at Harry but he ignores me and follows her into his place.
Harry's POV:
When I close my bedroom door, the first thing I see is Selena already bundled in the mass of blankets, eyes closed.
"Baby, wake up," I nudge her and she groans but still slightly open her eyes.
"What, Harry? I'm really tired," she mumbles and I see the exhaustion from the long ass day take its toll on her. Damn Eleanor for making her wake up so early.
"I want to wish you a Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas. Night," her eyelids flutter once more but I push her awake.
"Sit up," I demand and she looks super annoyed but I don't care at the moment.
"No," she turns on her side so I do it myself. Lifting her up, she frowns at me.
"Harry, pleasee," she whines and I just reach behind her neck, moving her hair out of the way and gently placing something around. When it lands on her collar, I clasp the chain and move back to admire how it settles right above her chest. She looks down at the cool metal and glances back up at me in confusion.
"Merry Christmas," I give her a peck as her hands fiddle with the charm hanging.
"A H."
"H for Harry," I wrap my arms around her, "so, everyone will know you're mine."
"So, is this for my benefit or yours?" she raises an eyebrow as I grin.
"Both," I simply reply and with that, we both climb back into bed, ready to rest.
Selena's POV:
I like to say this Christmas this year was amazing. Harry unreluctantly accompanied me back home as we waited for my mum to come back. She wasn't too happy to see him but said nothing as we set the table together. To my surprise, she set five seats. Before I could ask her, the doorbell rang and in came Vanessa and Austin, a close friend from high school that's Vanessa and Zac's age. I screamed at the sight of them, so happy to be reunited with people who I haven't seen for what feels like years. Vanessa declared that Austin and her are now dating and I felt a small tinge of hurt. Although it's nice and necessary for her to move on in her life, I still thought about Zac and how they were perfect. I couldn't imagine either of them with anyone else. But, I was still happy for them. Austin is a total sweetheart, always helping me out and giving me rides when my brother was busy. He was and still is polite as hell, and definitely a favorite of my mother.
I introduced Harry, which was awkward since he had endless tattoos and was pretty much the complete opposite of Austin. My mum mentioned how she misses Luke and there was an awkward silence at the dinner table but I just gulped my apple cider to avoid the confrontation. I knew Harry was uncomfortable and silently bubbling in anger, but I was proud he didn't create an outburst that would increase my mother's disapproval for him. My hand was on his thigh the whole night, eventually going to his knee to rub in reassurance. Overall, it wasn't as bad as it could've went and for that I am grateful.
Mum liked her perfume as usual and after we gave each other our presents, we decided to go to the graveyard and hospital. It was tough and it surprised me that mum was so willing to join me. She usually seems to be in some sort of denial that her son has died and her husband is ill. It was nice to have her around.
We placed poinsettas in front of Zac's tombstone, knowing he loved the bright colors that symbolized the holidays. Vanessa and Austin held hands in the silent night as they stood in front and closed their eyes, praying and having their own secret conversations with him. Afterwards, we headed over to the hospital and I held Dad's hand for a while until my mum took over. Since it was getting so late, we decided to return home. Vanessa and Austin stayed in our guest room and Harry pretended to leave, knowing my mum would never approve of him staying over. When the lights were off and my mum went to bed, I heard the opening of my window and in sneaked my little rebel. He kicked off his shoes and headed towards the door to lock it before crawling into the warm blankets with me.
"I love you," he hums against my temple and I reciprocate the phrase, before repeating it endlessly until we fall asleep, as he requests.