Loving you was young, and wild, and free.
Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet.
Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound.
A steady place to let down my defenses
But loving you had consequences.
~Camila Cabello.
.....
|Chapter: 77|
"Hey calm down. I didn't knew.. I mean I knew he was coming back in town but I didn't knew how to tell you. Plus, you always brush off the topic even when we took his name", Sarah frantically tried to explain as well as calm me down. But I was far away from that, so was my heart which was pounding. How could I just sit there and stare at him like he was some idol and me, a stupid fan girl? Again, didn't he look as gorgeous as ever in his black leather jacket, black pants and brown boots?
Oh oh and did I forget to mention he tied his hair, like that wasn't the end of his sexy-ness, small strands descended down on his face. I'd have kissed his feet, that's how drop dead beautiful he looked, but thankfully Sarah came out of nowhere and pulled me to the nearest restroom, saving me from further embarrassment.
"Are you even listening to me?", She threw her hands in the air. "He just came back to graduate. It's not the end of the world dummy. You have moved on, remember Ethan?"
Ethan? Yes Ethan, my boyfriend who is sweet and who is far better than that... that handsome cheater jerk. But where is Ethan? If he didn't leave me alone at the shop and I didn't go around looking for him, I won't have bumped into that monster and most importantly, I won't have embarrassed myself.
"I have to go find Ethan. He must be looking for me", I said and took out my phone to see if he called me or any sign of message but nothing. Where is he? What if he black out, or what if something happened to him, I started to panic and walk out of the restroom with Sarah falling back in my steps. I tried calling his phone but it was off.
"Slow down, we will find him. He is not a kid dummy", Sarah said breathless behind me. But no, I'm not slowing down until I find him safe. I knew how difficult it was for him to stay focus in one thing after the therapy, I saw him blacking out, forgetting route and now, even though he was doing okay I couldn't stop my concern mind from going insane if I don't see him. How am I going to be at peace once I leave for college? I made a mental note to myself that I'll call him everyday, every hour if necessary. We looked in every shop in that floor, still no sign of him. I was at the verge of crying when we reached the food court.
"There he is", Sarah pointed to a certain direction. I quickly rub my tears away to clear the vision before I look where she was pointing. Indeed he was there, sitting on a single table with a watter bottle squeezed in his hand. I could finally breathe I thought.
"ETHAN", without caring I shouted his name in the crowded food court as I make my way to him.
"Pumpkin", he said sweetly standing up. I ran until I was in safe distance to jump at him and he took me in his arms. The tears threatening to fall out before, didn't stop now as I cried.
"Where did you go? Y-you scared me, I was looking for you every...where."
He pulled away before rubbing my tear filled cheeks with his thumbs. "I was looking for you too but then, I got tired so I took a break", he said showing me the table he was sitting at. "Please forgive me pumpkin." He smiled sheepishly.
I nodded before adding, "But you have to buy me ice cream."
"As much as you want", he said tilting his head slightly to have a good look at my face. "You're beautiful even you cry. How do you even do that?" He made a fake shocked face and I hit his arm laughing.
"Aww ain't you guys cute? I think I've said that for more than thousand times..", Sarah cooed making us known her presence in our little bubble. I thought she left. "But now, let's go and eat something", she added lifting her chin to follow her direction. The moment I saw her heading to booth in the corner packed with Zac, Nickel and Stella directly staring at us, the answer flew out of my mouth, "No!"
"What?", Sarah asked halting on her steps.
"I mean we already had dinner so, you go ahead and we'll head home. I don't want to stress Ethan", I said. It was true I didn't want him to get more tired than he already was.
"But pumpkin we can.." Ethan started but I cut him off because noway I'm sitting there with him. I need to stay out of trouble.
"No! We are going home Ethan. You need to rest", I said with finality in my tone. He saw how serious I was and nodded.
"Dummy you're such a pooper." Sarah rolled her eyes at me before turning to Ethan with a smile. "Goodbye unicorn and be careful before dummy turns you into a person as boring as her."
"I'll keep that in mind", he said flashing his teeth. With a wink, she walked off. Ethan casually placed his arm around my shoulders as we exit the mall and I ignored all the lingering stares I felt behind my back. The warm breeze blew as we stepped outside, making me smile. I love summer.
"Is it just me or for a second I thought I saw dirty blonde there with Zac?", he asked scratching his head. My smile deflated as I nodded but quickly changed the topic. "So where did you go running off before?"
He shook his head. "You have to wait till the prom to find out and until then, the key is patience pumpkin." I rolled my eyes at him as we continue to walk to my car parked at the end. "Oh, did you get the bow tie?"
"I did." I lifted the packet to show him.
"Let's see what color you got me." He tried to take it from my hand to see, I took it away instantly shaking my head.
"Uh uh, you have to wait till the prom to find out", I repeated his words mimicking his tone and smirked.
.
.
.
I was praying to not fall off the ladder as I try to balance my footing as well as paint the cardboard cut in the shape of a cloud. Fallon High had a tradition of making the seniors work for thier dream prom night every year and no doubt it was even engraved in the policy book. So, here we are working our ass off two days before the night, that some students like my bestfriend would like to call magical for some reasons. I gagged at the word magical.
Once again, carefully I bend a little to reach the paint bucket to dip the brush in it before I brought it to the cloud and stroke it gently over. Between concentrating on how to keep my balance on the creaky ladder and painting the upper part, the brush slipped off my clumsy hand and dropped with a thud on the floor. Just great, I thought.
"I have two free helping hands. You need any?", asked the deep voice I used to love and missed hearing, even though I won't admit it. I groaned audibly for him to hear and understand that his presence is annoying me. I didn't need help, not from him of all the people at least. So I started to take steps down slowly, to prevent from falling.
Just when I was about to take the brush, he took it making me glare at him. What is his problem?
"Take", he offered. I snatched out of his hand, not caring if the paint splashed a little. "Now that wasn't hard, was it?", he smirked. I stopped the urge to roll my eyes at him, I knew he wanted to get a reaction out of me but that's what I'm not giving him. Without a word I turn back, ready to climb up the ladder again... I sighed as I look up.
"Serena?", he called. My heart ached with pain when he said my full name for the second time since he came back instead of Rena, the way he used to. How dare my heart feel that kind of pain when I had nothing to do with him anymore? Why does it have to matter to me by what name he calls?
"Yes, Nickel", I said with a fake smile turning back.
For a second, I thought I saw vulnerability flash through his eyes and then, he quickly covered it up with a blank look.
"Why don't you go paint the bushes and I can finish the cloud?", he suggested. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why?"
He shrugged his shoulders cooly. "Because I can clearly see your legs shaking up there. You're scared Williams just admit it."
"I'm not scared", I snapped at him. He is as cocky as ever.
He laughed lifting his hands up like he surrenders. His laugh was like music to my ears. Stop it. "Okay calm down tiger. Just go head, I was enjoying the view of your ass from down here anyway."
"W-what?", I shuttered looking away with my confidence flying right out of the window. My cheeks were burning. He softly whistle taking the brush from my hand, lightly brushing his hand against mine sending tingles through my body. I couldn't believe, he still had that effect on me. What an easy target I am to him. God, I need to stop feeling that a way for him. Swiftly he climbed up the ladder, leaving no option for me. I huffed tiredly and went to finish painting the bushes.
I couldn't help myself, but steal a glance at him every now and then. So effortlessly he painted as he whistle to a song, his blonde hair tied behind and some loose strands falling on his face. And every time he lifted his hands making his shirt rise up, I could see his ripped muscles. He had his flaws, scars and torn muscles from uncountable fights, yet drool worthy. How did the almighty made one person so imperfect but so perfect at the same time? It wasn't fair to the male species how he could put them in shame without even trying.
"What have you done? You painted the flowers green too", the girl sitting next to me screamed knocking me out of my thoughts.
"S-Sorry sorry, I wasn't really looking", I apologised.
"Yeah, I saw what you were looking. Thought you and him were over", she snorted before standing up and leaving. I sighed. What is happening to me?
I played with the pumpkin key chain smiling at the memory the day he gave me as I waited for him to pick up the call. After the last ring, it went to voice mail when I tried again. I frowned looking at his name before locking my phone and throwing it on the dashboard. I revved the engine to pull out of the lot when Sarah came in the front waving her arms.
"Hit me. Hit me if you dare dummy", she said. I shook my head at my stupid bestfriend.
"What is it Sarah?", I shouted poking my head out of the window.
"Nothing. Just trying to annoy you."
"You have annoyed me enough. Now, move before I really hit you."
"You wouldn't dare", she challenged knowing the fact I can't even hurt a single hair on her head. "Let's have dinner tonight. I'm gonna call Oompa loompa too, just like old times."
I thought about it for a moment but Ethan not picking up his phone has me worried again. I miss hanging out with Mary and Kevin, it's been like so long we had a good conversation with our busy schedule, exams and all kinds of graduating stuffs. But..
"Don't even think to decline it. I'm not asking, I'm stating it", she said as she take the shotgun.
"Okay."
I can never win so for some time I decided to push the topic of Ethan at the corner of my mind and enjoy with my friends. I just hope he is fine, no matter how much I try I cannot stay without constantly being worried about him. Just to ease my worried mind I called Linda and thankfully she picked up in the third ring.
"Serena darling", she greeted sweetly.
"Aunt Linda, I called to ask if Ethan's there with you. He is not picking up my calls."
"Oh.. Y-yes I mean he is", she said with much hesitation.
"I-Is he okay?"
"Of course. He is just sleeping in. Do you want me wake him up for you?"
I let out a relieved breathe. "No no. Just tell him I went out to have dinner with my friends and remind him to take his dose after dinner."
"Will do sweetheart. Enjoy", she said and I could only imagine her smiling face.
"Alright. Goodnight." With that I cut the call and noticed Sarah smiling at me.
"Dummy, you care so much about him. It's kinda cute", she smirked.
I started the car again. "He is my boyfriend duh."
She kept staring at me but I was more concentrated on the road and ignored her. After a long silence, which I was quite enjoying to myself but she has to break it asking the most dreadful question I try to avoid at all cost.
"But do you love him?"
.
.
.
Do I love him? The bright light inside my room flickered on and off as I played with the switch of the lamp. The whole dinner I was brooding over questions, that Mary and Sarah had to smack me more than ten times to get my attention on the topic they were talking about.
I sighed and for once off the light completely, letting the darkness engulf me in it. I closed my eyes to get some sleep. It was already two in the morning. But I ended up imagining his face, the last person who should be invading my mind. How cruel could be life? I screamed in my pillow before I cried. I didn't cry because I miss him, or maybe I do, but the bigger reason was because this is not fair to Ethan. I should be thinking of Ethan not him. I felt gui...
I jumped at the sudden familiar sound of the tapping on my window. No, it cannot be true. I rubbed my eyes and got off the bed. My heart was trying to jump out of its cage as I went to the window. Am I dreaming again? Or, is this a part of my imagination? I pulled the blinds up.
I actually pinched myself hard to see if my mind was playing tricks with me. But no, it was true. He was there. Nick was there standing outside my window just like he used. Wait, why am I getting excited? The last time I remembered I hated him. He knocked again and I open the window after plastering a fake angry face.
"What do you need?"
He chuckled ignoring my harsh tone. "Just let me in. They are looking for me."
Then, I noticed the bouquet of flower in his hand. He was panting like he ran a marathon and then it clicked in my mind, taking me back to our stargazing date. The memory itself was enough to tear me up.
"You stole it, didn't you?", I asked pointing at the bouquet. I won't admit but it was beautiful. Did he bring that for me?
"Oh shitty sherlock! You got me there...now c'mon move let me in." He rolled his eyes at me. I folded my arms and moved for him to come inside.
He closed the window after him like it was our everyday thing to do. How could he be so cool about everything? Did he forgot the fact that he broke my heart, cheated on me and left the town? But, again why any of these will matter to him because at the end of the day he is a player.
"What do you need?", I repeated my question.
He placed the flowers on the nightstand and then, turn around to look at me. Under the warm moonlight that crept through the window inside my room, he looked indescribably beautiful. He smiled sadly, breaking all his earlier blank faćade before saying..
"You. I need you."
********
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