I lay on the couch in the recording booth, listening to the boys record a new song. I had given up watching the mixer about half an hour ago, a little bored. I look up the tour schedule, looking at the Europe dates, trying to figure out how many days we were at each location. I hear a mic squeal, making me look up as all sound stop.
Luke groans, slumping in front of the mic. He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Why isn't this working?" He asks, stressed. "I don't think it sounds that bad," Cal says, putting his bass down. I think, trying to run through what Luke has been singing, trying to figure out why it sounds off because he is right, something is off.
I tap the mixer on the shoulder, pointing to the mic. He nods, pressing a button. "Try going up an octave then down instead of staying the same then going down." I offer Luke trying it out without music. He smiles as he hears it, everyone else smiling too. He nods, giving me a grateful look. "Thanks, Dylan." I give him a thumbs-up, going back to the couch. "I'll let you practice it real fast, then we can try recording." The mixer says, turning to me. "You know music?" He asks, giving me a smile. "A little, I know instruments better than singing but yeah. With a brother in the industry, you learn a lot quickly." I shrug, putting my phone in my lap.
"Blake Ryan's your brother, right?" I nod, watching Luke walk out of the recording studio, leaving the room. I watch him for a second before turning back to the mixer. "I've worked with Blake a bit, he's pretty good. Great lyrics." "Thank you, I helped write some." "What songs?" "Puppet, Heaven, A Million Lives, to name a few." "Great songs, I mixed Heaven, I really liked that one." "Thank you." Luke comes back in, downing a water bottle. "Ready?" The mixer asks, looking to Luke. He nods, going back in to record.
They run through the song a few times, the boys come out, collapsing on the couch with me. "Tired?" I ask, chuckling. "You have no idea," Ashton mutters, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Hey, one more week till London though, that's exciting right?" They all groan, making me frown. "Guys! It's London! You've been looking forward to it for ages!" They groan again, shaking their heads.
"We need sleep, a break, anything." "Well, I mean you have the rest of this week to relax! Then we get to go have fun in London!" "Dyl, I love you, but we literally don't want to do anything, and going on a long flight to another country and continuing the tour is the last thing we want to do," Luke mutters, his arm thrown over his eyes. I stare at him, unmoving, Ashton had opened his eyes and stared at Luke, and Cal and Mikey were both sitting upright staring at Luke.
Luke tenses suddenly, realizing what he said. He bites his lip, not moving his arm from his eyes. "I love you too," I say suddenly, realizing that I did love him. He was my person, I loved him. I smile, watching him slowly pull his arm from his eyes, staring at me, smiling. "Aww," Michael says, all of us turning to him. "Took ya'll long enough." He says, standing. "Now, I'm hungry so let's go get food to celebrate." He continues, walking toward the door. Luke pulls me up from the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk out of the booth. He kisses my temple, both of us following the guys to a restaurant, Luke removing his arm before we step outside, giving me a small smile.
-----
I jolt upright as the boys walk into my room, screaming that we were going to London. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" Ashton yells at me, "We're going to London!" Luke shouts at me, grinning. I fall back in my bed, pulling my comforter over my face. "No," I mutter, trying to go back to bed. A body lands on me suddenly, taking the air out of me. I slowly pull the comforter back, Michael giving me a grin. "That hurt, fuck." I mutter, pulling my comforter back over my head. "C'mon, you've been wanting to go to London all week! Let's go!" Luke says, my bed shifting. I shake my head, curling up in a ball. Mother Nature decided to surprise me yesterday so flying for many hours is not something I want to do today.
"Babe?" Luke asks, sounding concerned now. "You okay?" He peeks under the comforter, giving me a small smile. "Girl week?" He asks. I nod, pulling the comforter back over my head. "It's gonna be okay, gotta focus on London!" I poke my head out, giving him a look. "Fine," I mumble, all of the boys smiling. I go into my bathroom and get ready for the day, putting on leggings and an old high school sweatshirt.
I go downstairs, loading my things into the car, leaning against the window, Luke slides in next to me, giving my hand a squeeze. "Ash said he would switch seats with me on the second flight since you're having a rough day." He says, giving me a small smile. I return it, closing my eyes. My mom gets in the front seat, turning around to face us. I feel Luke's hand slide out of mine, my mom smiling. "Ready for the next half of the tour?" She asks, looking between all of us. 'Yeses' are chorused from everyone, my mom turning back around.
We pull up in front of the airport, fans surrounding the main entrance. I gulp down the lump in my throat, watching them. We all get out of the car, milling around at the back to get our luggage, both Cal and I get all of ours first so we walk in together, waiting at the check-in counter. "How are you doing?" He asks, giving me a small smile. "I'm getting better with the big crowds, but seeing them still freaks me out a little." "They're freaky, no one knows what they could do." I nod, watching more of the tour walk in. "All right, let's get checked in!" my mom says, coming over.
We walk to the check-in booth, a few people coming over to help the lady checking us all. I'm handed my ticket and told to go through airport security, everyone would be following. I nod, leading the way, the line agonizingly long. Everyone is here by the time I am able to get through, giving me the chance to run to the bathroom and hit one of the airport stores to get a snack for the flight. I get two chocolate chip muffins with a water bottle, waiting for the rest of our group.
Once my mom was through she ushers us to use the bathroom and get snacks before we line up to board the plane. My section is called first, along with Matt, my brother's piano player, and Ashton, who I would be sitting next to. Ashton gives me a smile, clinking my ticket with his. "I'd switch this one with Luke too but I still need some Dylan time too, also your mom is across the aisle from us so she'd question..." I shrug, glancing at my ticket. "Understandable, I need some Ashton time too, I've been spending a lot of time with Luke this week since my mom was out of town organizing things so I didn't get to see you quite as often." "We can watch a movie together then!" He grins, bopping me on the head. "Sounds good." I nod, moving forward in the line and handing the lady my ticket.
I find my seat, letting Matt in first since he had the window seat then Ashton, me taking up the aisle. "Thanks for switching with me." I give Ashton a grateful look, buckling my seatbelt. The groups continue boarding, the tour mixed in. Luke passes me, giving me a grin, which I return. When Blake passes, he ruffles my hair, annoying me. "How are you and Luke?" Ashton asks, turning to me. "Good, very happy! We had a movie night all night a couple of nights ago with milkshakes, it was really fun." I smile, facing Ashton as well.
My mom boards, sitting across from us with my dad. She ushers me over into the open seat and my heart drops, Ashton quickly giving me a smile before I turn and go sit with my parents.
"So, we know you've always wanted to visit Europe, so for this portion of the tour, we are going to allow you to explore as long as you have at least two of the guys with you or your brother when you do go exploring. We think this will keep you out of any nasty rumors as long as we keep a few guys with you, the media really liking to pick you out when you're alone with one of the guys. So, that is our one rule and since you are still underage there we still want someone exploring with you to keep you safe." I nod, stunned. "Can do, thank you!" I grin, going back to my seat. "We're going to explore the fuck out of Europe!" Ashton says quietly, just as excited as I felt.
The flight attendants close the door, running through the safety check while we wait for take-off. Ashton and I watch two movies on the flight from LA to New York, getting shushed by my mom a few times and the flight attendant once even because we were laughing so loud. When we land we find that we have to wait for a while, my mom growing anxious because of our connecting flight.
Ashton braids my hair while we wait, not doing too bad. "Who taught you?" "Having a younger sister has some perks, especially when you help take care of her." He shrugs, tying off my hair.
The plane finally docks, all of us rushing out, trying to find our flight on the boards. "Flight 235 to London?" I ask my mom, a growing pit in my stomach. "Yeah! What gate?" "It departed five minutes ago." I trail off, letting out a sigh. She groans, going over to the desk to get things sorted out. I run to the bathroom, most of the group following.
I take a seat by the desk, going through Twitter, tweeting that we all missed our flight, most of the tour retweeting it. Fans tweet back upset, wanting to know what happened, why we are going to be late. I respond to a few, explaining that our plane couldn't dock on time so we missed our connecting flight. My mom comes over with all of our new tickets, handing them out. "Blake, Dylan, Luke, Ashton, and Calum, you all will be on Flight 538 which is boarding in twenty minutes so please head over there, the rest of us are on flight 483 which leaves in an hour." We all give Michael a small smile, heading to our gate. We look through the tickets, swapping seats so Luke and I can be together. I give them all a grateful smile, Luke grinning down at me.
We board, all of us surprisingly in first class. I sit next to the window, sticking my tongue out at Luke who just shook his head at me. He sits down next to me and I lean against the window, putting my feet in his lap. "The nice thing about being in first class is everyone up here either knows about us or is an old person who doesn't know who you are," I say, giving him a smile.
"How are you feeling?" He asks, returning my smile. "Okay, I took Midol so it's been working decently." I shrug, trying not to focus too much on my cramps. "I'm sorry you have to travel like this." I shrug, letting out a sigh. "I've been dealing with my period for years, it's nothing new, just annoying."
-----
@dylanryan: whoever guesses the correct age I am in this picture gets a follow!
I attach an old picture of me, tweeting it out. Luke and I are doing following games, the fans loving it. Someone replies, guessing correctly and I retweet it, following her.
"Want to try a Livestream?" Luke asks, putting his phone down. "Sure." I shrug, pulling out my laptop and pulling up Streamer, a new streaming service. I tweet the link, letting the stream load. When it finally pops up, I train the laptop on me, smiling. "Hi guys, I have a little surprise for you but we are on a plane so wifi is super spotty so that means no sharing this link!" I move the laptop so Luke was in the frame, the comments going crazy.
"Hey, guys!" He waves, the comments full of questions. "So, you guys seem to have quite a few questions so I guess we can answer a few." I shrug, looking to Luke for confirmation. He nods and I scroll through some of the questions, a few with quite a few likes, and many repeats.
"You guys are still asking if we are dating, we aren't, we're just really close is all," I answer many of the questions, glancing over at Luke. "How far apart are you two age-wise?" Luke asks, reading the screen. "Um, what was it, like a year and 3 days right?" He says, looking at me. "Yeah, I think that's what we determined." I nod. "What are you most looking forward to in Europe?" I ask, thinking. "Honestly just Europe in general, I've never been out of the country apart from Canada on this tour so I'm excited for a bunch of new cultures," I reply, Luke nodding. "I'd say the food, they always seem like they have some awesome food so I'm excited to try it," I answer, looking for the next question.
He points to one that had been repeated a few times, looking at me. I nod, taking a deep breath. "What happened in San Diego?" He asks, turning to me. "So, for those of you who don't know, I suffer from severe anxiety and every so often I can get really random anxiety and panic attacks and if they hit hard enough, they make me pass out from straight fear of unknowing what caused it or brought it on. So I had one and Luke managed to witness it while performing so he stopped the show and went with me to the hospital, along with the rest of his band since my brother couldn't come with me and my parents were already in LA."
---
I was standing backstage, watching Luke sing, him glancing back every so often to give me a small smile while singing. Blake comes over, watching the guys with me, smiling out at them. "They're seriously in their element here, I'm so glad I asked them to open for me." He says, downing the rest of his tea. "How are you doing?" He asks, turning to me. "Good, the guys are really good for me so they've been helping a lo-" A sudden wave of dizziness passes over me, my chest going tight and I could feel my body heat up, my heart racing. "Dylan?" I hear Blake ask, grabbing my arm while my vision went dark, my body just trying to catch its breath.
I woke up in the hospital, letting out a groan. "Damn it," I mutter, closing my eyes again. I feel a hand in my hand, so I open my eyes, looking around. "Hi, oh my god, Cal, go get the doctor," Luke says, looking down at me. "Are you okay?" He asks, squeezing my hand. I nod, looking around and seeing Michael and Ashton in the other chairs in the room. "What happened?" I ask, looking back at Luke. "You passed out, Blake said you sounded like you were suddenly having a panic attack out of nowhere?" I nod, trying to sit up.
Luke helps me sit up, Ashton handing me a glass of water, giving me a small smile. "Thank you guys," Blake says as he walks in, going straight for me. He engulfs me with a hug, holding me tightly. "Are you okay?" He asks, pulling away. I nod, taking another drink of water. The doctor comes in, looking me over, giving me a small smile. "You just had a sudden onset panic attack, from your charts, this is pretty normal for you so we aren't too worried, it happens, typically it's actually set on by stress so try and keep an eye on your stress and try to keep away from things that could cause you stress." I nod, watching him leave with Blake.
"Stressed? Dyl, why didn't you say anything?" "I didn't feel that stressed so I was kind of ignoring it. It could also be stress from trying to hide us from everyone maybe, I really don't know." I shrug, glancing back up at Luke. "Is there anyone we can tell to make this a little less stressful, like your brother maybe?" I shake my head violently, my eyes widening. "Absolutely not." "Why not? He's around us enough..." "The less family that knows the better." "Please Dylan?" "My mom will ship me from this tour so fast if she knew we were dating Luke, I can't risk it." He sighs, slumping into his chair.
"What's wrong Lukey?" Cal asks walking in, looking over at Luke. "Nothing, don't worry about it." He mutters, pulling out his phone. "Luke, c'mon. Don't be like this. I want to tell Blake that we're dating, but I also don't want to risk him letting it slip to mom." "Ye of so little faith," Blake says, walking in and giving me a look. "Can we get some privacy, Luke, you stay," Blake says, holding the door open. I slide down in my bed, groaning.
"So, you're dating." He says, looking between us. I nod slowly, not saying anything. "Is this smart, sneaking around mom's back?" He asks, looking at me. "What else are we supposed to do? Mom would ship me home so fast if she found out." "How long?" "A few months." His eyebrows go up in surprise, a sigh escaping his body.
"Just- be careful, I don't want to see my little sister hurt again," Blake says and I swallow the lump in my throat. "She's been through a lot in her life and you seem like you're good for her from what I've seen so, be careful." He finishes, leaving the room. I stare down, Luke walking over. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, not touching me. I lean against his torso, not saying anything.
---
We both jolt awake when the loudspeaker crackles to life to announce we were landing soon, London could be seen in the distance. I let out a yawn, Luke doing the same, stretching in his seat. The plane descends, both of us trying to wake up before we have to exit the plane. The plane bounces to the ground, slowing down and pulling into our gate. we exit, my brother, leading us to get our bags, then we wait for the rest of our tour.
I nudge Luke, looking around. "Guess what?" I say, grinning. "We're in London!" He grins back, just as excited as I was.
The other flight arrives, all of us getting in a small herd of SUVs, taking us to a hotel. The guys and I decide to do a movie night since most of us slept the flight, we weren't too tired yet. Luke and I cuddle in a chair, the rest of the guys on the couch.