Ralph's POV
"Aalis na kami, bro. Let us know if you need something. Babalik kami."
I nodded at Sander and the other guys. "Thank you for visiting." I gave them all a manly hug before they left the room.
My friends came over to show their sympathy. I remember what they said na they will be there whenever I need them. Isang tawag lang daw sila. I got touched because of their concern. Patunay lang na totoo ko silang mga kaibigan.
Ang swerte ko na sa kaibigan. Mas swerte rin ako kay Gen plus we have a baby, but I ruined it. Inabuso ko ang mga binigay sa akin, so I get to pay the price.
A month later... Everything is still the same. There's no progress with Gen's condition. But my son has shown improvement. Sinabi ng doctor na medyo nag-mature na ang mga organs niya at effective ang light therapy niya sa isang buwan pa lang. He's delicate but he can survive na raw. The doctor advised that I should take the baby home. Excited ako kung sana gising lang si Gen. Alam ko siya ang pinakamasaya na malamang okay na si baby. Although he needs to be taken care of really well.
I don't wanna leave Geneva here in the hospital, but the doctor said it's not good to let the baby stay here longer. There's a lot of sick people around here. The baby might get sick. His immune system isn't fully functional yet.
"Take him home, anak. Ako na ang bahala muna rito," mom said.
I answered worriedly, "Paano kung magising si Gen? I must be here when that happens." I want to be the first person she sees when she wakes up.
"Naiintindihan ko pero sa ngayon, kailangan mong unahin ang anak mo. He survived the therapy. Ayaw mo namang lumala ang condition niya, 'di ba?"
Nag-alala ako bigla. Yes, I don't want my son to suffer again. I should protect him. Pero ayoko ring iwan si Gen. Hindi ko na alam ang uunahin. I am torn between the two of them.
Hindi man sigurado ang damdamin ko ay iuuwi ko na rin naman ang anak ko. I know 'yon din ang gusto ni Geneva na gawin ko. Ang unahin ang kapakanan ng anak namin.
Mom gave him to me. I held my baby for the first time. A tear escaped my eyes. He's so small and fragile. I am afraid to move cause I might hurt or drop him.
I heard mom chuckle. "Loosen up, son. You look so nervous. Ganito oh..." Mom positioned my hands correctly. "Mahalagang suportahan mo ang ulo at leeg niya pag kinakarga mo."
"Like this?" I showed her the way I held him.
"Ayan, tama 'yan, anak. How does it feel? It isn't that bad, right?"
I smiled. "Yeah. I love the feeling."
Para na akong ama literally. Ganito siguro ang feeling ni dad the first time he held me. I am the happiest right now. I am holding my son, my own blood. My little me.
"Mom, kung ikaw na lang kaya ang mag-uwi sa kanya? I might end up messing up."
Umiling siya. "No, you're the father. The baby should feel the warmth of his parents. Wala si Geneva kaya ikaw na lang ang gagawa n'on. He needs the touch and care of his parents for the baby's development. Don't worry, I already told Jinggay to help you. You'll be okay, son." Lumapit si mom and she kissed the baby lightly in the head. "Grammy will see you soon, apo. Don't give your daddy a hard time, okay?"
We arrived home and the first time I stepped inside the house with Genoah in my hands, kinabahan ako. This is it. I will be doing all the responsibilities and duties of a dad. I am nervous, but I need to make Gen proud. I should not fail nor disappoint her. I promise to show my love and care to my son.
"Sir, good morning po. Hala, ayan na si baby. Ang cute cute niya!" It's Jinggay's first time seeing Genoah, and she looks happy.
"Did you prepare the room?"
She nodded. "Yes, Sir. Malinis na po lahat at dumating na lahat ng inorder niyo na gatas ni baby. Nasa nursery na po lahat."
I nodded. "Thanks. Please come with me."
I went upstairs to the nursery room. Jinggay opened the door for me. I laid the baby down on his crib. He looked so small in his crib. He moved a bit and yawned while his eyes were still closed.
"Pati ang humikab, ang cute pa din!" Jinggay giggled. I smiled too. Yeah, he's so cute. It would be nice if Gen was here too. I know she wouldn't stop talking about the baby.
I told Jinggay na bantayan muna si Genoah while I changed my clothes. Pagbalik ko, she already fixed the bed kung saan ako matutulog. Good thing Gen put a bed here, so I can watch the baby at night.
"Thanks, Jinggay. You can go now."
I was left alone with the baby. He's sleeping peacefully so I decided to lay down on the bed. It was like I was pulled to sleep because pagkahiga ko pa lang ay nakatulog na ako agad. I must be so tired from a month of sleepless nights and not having enough sleep for watching Gen and the baby.
I was deep asleep when I heard Genoah cry. I looked at the clock. Wala pang isang oras akong nakatulog ay umiyak na siya.
I got up and went near him.
"Shhh, don't cry..." I patted his thigh lightly. He still cried. I remember what mom said. He must be hungry.
Kinuha ko ang bottle na pinabili ko, and I read the instructions. It's an exclusive milk for infants. I was shaking the bottle lightly kasi sabi ng doctor dapat wala masyadong bubbles sa bottle para hindi puro hangin ang naiinom ni baby baka sumakit ang tiyan niya then I replaced the lid with a baby bottle nipple. I carried the baby in my arms and gave his milk. I was relieved nung tumigil na siyang umiyak. I sat on the bed while feeding him. He looked so hungry.
When he finished the bottle, he cried again, so I gave him another one. He fell asleep again. Nilagay ko na siya ulit sa crib. Pero ilang sandali ay umiyak na naman siya. I gave him the milk, but he didn't want it. Kinarga ko siya at pinatahan pero hindi tumigil. I was getting paranoid.
"What do you want, son?" nag-aalalang tanong ko. I wish he could talk and tell me what's wrong.
"Sir." Pumasok si Jinggay.
"He won't stop crying. What should I do?" I could sense panic in my voice.
"Napainom niyo na po ba ng gatas?"
"Yes."
"Napa-burp niyo na po ba?"
My brows furrowed. "How?"
"Ganito po." Lumapit siya and she moved the baby in an upright position on me. Now the baby's head is relaxed on my shoulder. "Ganyan po saka himasin niyo po ang likod." I did what she said. Then after a few minutes, I heard the baby burp. He then stopped crying. That was the cutest burp ever. I smiled widely knowing I accomplished another task. "Dapat po kada matapos uminom si baby ay ipadighay niyo po."
"Okay. Thanks for your help. I was about to call Mom. Good thing you came."
"Binilin po sa 'kin ng mommy niyo, Sir, eh. Palitan na po natin ng diaper si baby." I nodded and laid him down on the diaper changing table. I remember the doctor told me to change his diaper every 2-3 hours or as needed to avoid rash and to wipe it gently.
Jinggay guided me as I did it. I was lifting the baby's legs a bit so I could position the diaper under his bum. Then put the legs back down after. I snapped the diaper and secured it on him. My heart was so happy that I was able to do it well.
"Ayan, comfortable na si baby. Makatutulog na po siya nang mahimbing ulit."
Jinggay said that I should do those after I fed the baby—to have him burp and change his diaper often.
Nakatulog na ulit siya, so I slept too. After three hours, he woke up again. I did the same, feed him, have him burp and change his diaper. I did those a lot of times that day. At night, I only slept for a few hours then woke up again then would sleep again.
I was groggy from my sleep. Pero I needed to force myself to be awake for the baby. Grabe, ganito pala ang maging magulang. I was starting to admire my parents more. Hindi biro ang mag-alaga ng baby. If Gen was here, may kasama sana ako. I know she'd make things easy for me. May katulong sana ako sa pag-aalaga at lalo na may magtuturo sa 'kin ng gagawin.
That was my routine for weeks. I visit Gen at the ICU everyday. I would leave in the morning and go back home at noontime. Iniiwan ko muna kay Jinggay si baby. Sometimes kay mommy. Then pagbalik ko, mom would leave.
I also have Leo come to my house if he needs me to sign papers like today.
"Marami na pong meeting na nakatambak, Sir. Ang iba nagmamadali nang makipag-meeting sa inyo. Lalo na ang mga investors." Leo and I were in the living room.
I shook my head,. "Tell them I can't. I am afraid they have to wait. But for our current investors, prioritize them first. Have them schedule a video web meeting with me."
"Okay, Sir. Nagtatanong na po kasi sila. Kailan daw po ba kayo babalik sa office?"
I looked at my son sleeping on his rocking bed here in the living room. It's movable, kahit saan dito sa bahay ay pwedeng ilipat because it has wheels. I move it wherever I am in this house cause I want to be close to him. I wanna keep my eyes on him.
"I don't know yet. My son needs me." Binalik ko ang tingin kay Leo. "You understand me, right? Ako lang ang inaasahan na mag-aalaga sa kanya."
He smiled at me. "Naiintindihan ko po. Wag kayong mag-alala, Sir. Ako muna ang bahala sa company habang wala kayo. I'm sure they will also understand. Hindi niyo naman po pinababayaan ang companya kahit hindi po kayo pumapasok."
"I promised Dad I will take good care of it. Hindi ko pwedeng pabayaan. I also promised Gen that I will take care of our son."
"Sigurado pong proud si Sir sa inyo pati na rin si Ma'am Gen."
"I hope so—" I stopped when the baby cried. I stood up and went to him. Kinarga ko siya saka pinatahan.
"Sige po. Aalis na ako, Sir." Tumayo siya. I nodded at him. Ngumiti naman siya. "Bagay po sa inyo ang maging ama."
I smiled at him then he left.
Kahit ako rin hindi ko kailanman naisip na mag-isa akong mag-aalaga ng bata. I never imagined being a full-time dad. It is so hard but I am happy doing it. Sa ilang linggo lang na pag-aalaga ko sa anak ko, I felt like I matured a bit. Fatherhood could really change a person.
The next day, my friends came—John, Bob, Sander, Mike and Amber. This is the third time they visited me in the house since Genoah came home three weeks ago.
"Ako na, Ralph." Amber volunteered to hold my son kaya binigay ko naman sa kanya. "How's our little champ? The cutest champ we have." Amber rained him with kisses. Nilalaro niya si baby, and my baby would react like he understood her.
"Siyempre okay lang si Baby Geno. Siya pa. Mana kaya 'yan kay Uncle John." John came close to Genoah and held his hand.
"Wag naman, John. Baka maging babaero din ito paglaki niya," sabi ni Sander.
"Stay away from my son, John," I uttered.
Sumimangot siya. "Ito naman parang hahawak lang, eh. Wala naman akong tinuturo na iba."
I shook my head. "Wala pa. Tsk."
Sunod na lumapit sina Bob at Sander sa kanya. "Parang carbon copy mo si Geno, bro. Wala ka man lang tinira kay Gen," sabi ni Sander.
"Oo nga. Kuha pati labi, eh," Bob agreed.
I felt sad hearing Gen's name. I visited her this morning. Wala pa ring pagbabago. I looked at the five of them playing with my son. I smiled knowing how lucky my son is to have people who cares for him.
After a while, we all ate lunch. Nakatulog na kasi si Genoah. We were drinking wine in the living room while the baby is just in sight laying down on his rocking bed.
"Anong balita kay Gen?" Sander sat next to me. My heart pained. The rest of them glanced at me waiting for my answer.
"Nothing new. She's still in coma," I answered then sipped my glass of wine.
Sander tapped my shoulder. "Gigising din siya. Trust her. She'll make it."
"When? It's almost two months. Lumalaki na si Genoah." I should not lose hope but that's what I am feeling right now. Habang tumatagal nang tumatagal na hindi siya nagigising ay nadagdagan nang nadagdagan din ang takot ko. Takot na baka hindi na siya magising. I wanna break down at the thought.
Amber sat on the other side and hugged me. Hinayaan ko siya while I remained on my position facing the front.
"I know it's hard for you, Ralph. Trust me, we understand how you feel. But please don't lose hope. Kahit kami ay hindi nawawalan ng pag-asa na magigising din si Geneva. Kaya sana ikaw rin."
I tried to control my tears. "Thanks, Amber. The thought of not having her kills me. I still have my hopes up, and I hope she'll wake up a bit sooner."
She smiled. "We all pray for that to happen."
"Thank you." Tiningnan ko silang lahat. "Thank you for being here when I need you," I sincerely told them.
"Of course. That's what buddies are for, right mga bro?" Bob said.
"Oo naman!" the others agreed.
I smiled when they all hugged me. I am blessed to have them. We were doing a group hug when my son cried. Nagtinginan kaming lahat at natawa na lang.
"'Yan ang rason bakit hindi ka dapat sumuko. May anak kang umaasa sa 'yo." Mike pushed me." Tumayo ka na at patahanin ang baby."
"Akala ko nandito kayo para tulungan ako?"
He moved his shoulders up and down. "Kanina pa kaya kami. Ikaw naman."
I shook my head and took my baby out from his bed. "Remind me not to get them as your godparents. Wala ka namang makukuha sa kanila kundi katarantaduhan," I told my son. Narinig nila ako at sabay-sabay silang nagreklamo.
"Bro naman," reklamo ni Bob.
"You need to deposit a million in his bank account if gusto mong maging ninong." I smirked as I challenged them.
"Sus, 'yon lang pala, eh. Count me in, bro," John said arrogantly.
"Ako rin," sabi ni Mike.
"How about you?" tanong ko kay Sander.
Kumibit-balikat lang siya. "I can give him a plane on his 21st birthday." Well, that sounds great to me.
"Wow, bro! Ako rin bigyan mo," sabi ni Bob kay Sander.
"Ikaw ang dami mong pera pero ang kuripot mo," sabi ni John kay Bob.
"Ako kaya ang pulubi sa 'ting lahat. Alam niyo naman ang lola ko, hindi ibibigay sa 'kin ang pamana ng parents ko hangga't wala akong babaeng hinaharap sa simbahan." We all laughed seeing Bob's irritated face.