Maden
I slammed the driver seat's door shut. I was at the same place again. Autumn leaves crunched under my shoes, as I made my way to to her. I climbed the hill beyond which she was laid to rest.
A sob wrecked my body before I reached the white marble.
"Gen..." My knees collapsed beside her stone. "Why? Why did you have to go so soon?"
There were moments when I tried to remember what happened, those moments left me with nothing but panic attacks.
Alejandro was right. Only if I had a twin, only if Genelia was alive, things could've been different. There was no one like her. We were identical yet the was different in so many ways. She was exactly like the daughter mother wanted.
I am sure everybody wished gor Genelia to be alive, especially over me. I knew I was a brat from the start, hell even I would've preferred for Genelia to be alive instead.
My finger drew circles on the white marble. The flowers that I had brought last time, had withered completely and were littered around. I sat with my back against the stone, gazing at the seemingly empty graveyard.
Days after the accident, I had woken up in a hospital only to realize that my sister was dead. At first, nothing changed. My mind couldn't process the information. There were times when mother burst into tears seeing my face.
For me, it felt as if I lacked something. There has always been this hollow feeling inside my heart. That hole filled whenever I sat in our old room, and flipped through albums. But it wasn't same. I knew I could never really fill that hole. Genelia was a part of me, and when she left, she took that part along with her. Thus, I can never be complete.
Dawn had arrived long back, now the clear sky was merging into darkness. Mosquitoes had arrived as well. I got up from beside her stone and decided to make my way towards my car.
Climbing the hill took at least ten minutes of mine and on reaching the top I turned back. Just to take another look at her. The white was clear even in the dark. It was first time in years, that I realized how high the hill was. My feet moved towards the edge as my eyes stared at the foot of the hill.
Suddenly, the wind was knocked out my lungs and my knees gave up. If I would've been even an inch closer to the edge, I would've fallen down straight to my death.
My vision was blurring and I was trying hard to focus. Jabs of pain hit my chest and my hand immediately went to the affected area. Something was wrong with me. I wanted to scream but no voice came out. So much was happening and I didn't know what was wrong.
I felt something buzz in my pocket. I dragged it out. I must've pressed something because the very next moment I heard someone.
"Sylvia! Sylvia?"
I tried to focus but couldn't recognize who it was.
"Help." I barely managed to whisper. "Please...I...I'm dying."
I was. I was dying. I wanted to die.
"Where are you!" The other person was screaming at me. "Tell me, please."
"Genelia..." I replied.
The pain in my chest had doubled and it was becoming impossible yo bear. My head hurt like it was about to burst too. I could feel the liquid trickling down my cheeks.
I was going to die.
"H...help...please..." I said.
There was no voice anymore. There was nobody who could help me anymore.
I didn't want help anymore.
All I wanted was to fade away in the darkness that surrounded me. I wanted to fade away into oblivion, to the place where Genelia was.
°°°
Bautista
"Her twin sister is buried here." The moment I heard these words, my heart stopped.
What?
"Sylvia...had a twin sister?" Dante asked as he ran beside Janet.
"She did."
We began running uphill to where Janet lead us. I knew this place well, since I was a regular visitor here. The cemetry was divided in two parts that were separated by a hill.
"Can you see her?" Janet asked us.
I was frantic because I knew I had caused a blunder. I looked around as I walked making sure she wasn't on the hill.
"Can you hear her through the phone?" Dante asked.
Janet hadn't taken off the phone even once all the way to the cemetery.
"She can't understand anything when she gets a panic attack. And I can't hear anything. I don't know if she's even near her phone anymore."
"Cut the phone and call her again. Sounds echoes here. We'll here her phone ring." I suggested.
Anxiety was seeping into me. I just wanted her to be safe. She had to be safe. My heart was a whirlwind of emotions.
Within moments we heard a phone ring. She was closer than we thought. Without wasting a second, I dashed in the direction of the sound.
The farther I ran, the more closer U came to the edge of the hill top. All possible negative thoughts ran through my head as I neared to the brightly lit phone. It was very near to the edge.
I didn't want my suspicions to be true, but Sylvia was not beside her phone. She could've fallen down the hill and onto some gravestone.
"No...No, no. It can't be." My knees buckled. I dragged my body towards the edge but dreaded to see at the foot of the hill. Images of her injured body floated through my mind and water pooled into my eyes.
I couldn't let her die. I just couldn't.
"Sylvia!" I heard Janet scream from behind me. She too would've probably come to the same conclusion as me.
"Alejandro! She's here."
My head whipped in the direction from where I heard Dante call me out. To the west of the edge, I could see Janet kneeling beside a figure.
My body stood on its own accord and made its way towards them. My feet only stopped when I saw a sight that made my heart wrench.
In the grass, was Sylvia, her eyes unfocused, dirt covering her face and her whole body trembling.
Janet was trying to get her to calm down but everytime Janet touched her, she lashed out.
Sylvia's back was towards me. I walked towards her and engulfed her body into mine. Immediately, I felt her hands trying to push me away but I couldn't get myself to let her go. I just couldn't see her like that.
She was muttering incoherant things and the only word I managed to understand was 'dying'.
"It's okay, Sylvia."
Dante was crouching beside me, his hand was on Sylvia's head patting it softly. She continued yo struggle in my arms for a while, but I could feel her giving in to me.
"What...we don't know what to to Janet..." Dante seemed genuinely concerned.
"She's...sort of stuck in the attack. Let her relax a little, then I'll ask her to try and focus on her breathing." She said. "It has worked before."
After a while, she had stopped struggling against me, but she was still suffering.
"Sylvia..." Janet said in a soothing tone. "Breathe."
Sylvia could hear Janet cause she leaned towards her.
"I want you to focus on your breath. Take in a deep breath and then exhale."
Sylvia was responding. Her body moved according to Janet's instructions.
"She's here." Janet sighed in relief. "It's been over two years since she's had them. We thought she was over it."
Sylvia had slumped against my chest, slight snores leaving her body.
"They tire her out." Janet brushed away Sylvia's hair away from her sweat slicked forehead. "Let her stay like this for a while. We'll drop her to her house in a while."
"I...how, I never thought she..." Dante was at a loss of words. He pulled out grass as he tried to make a sentence.
"I know it's hard to believe. It's hard for me to understand how come after two years..." She trailed away.
"Are these panic attacks triggered by something?" Dante asked, his eyes reflecting the light of nearby street lamp, as he talked to Janet.
"Probably. Initially, she had them whenever she thought or talkrd about how Genelia...err...her sister died."
I knew I had fucked up big time when I had uttered those unfortunate words to Sylvia this morning. Her face had drained of all colour and it seemed as if I had jabbed a knife straight through her heart.
She was not who I thought her as.
Behind those sparkling eyes was an aching heart, behind all her smiles, she was actually falling apart.
|°°°°°|
I am not going to explain why I am updating so late, or why this chapter is not edited yet.
I don't have time for that rn.
I am gonna get on track soon. Sorry is all I can say.
Love
Isha