Bella's POV
Eventually I can't distract myself enough and I hug my knees telling myself I'm not gonna cry. I guess Christina noticed me though.
"Are you okay, Belle?" she asks. I lock eyes with her and that sends me over the edge. I start bawling and can't stop. She puts her phone down and runs over to me, sitting down on Katherine's bed. I latch onto her like a little kid. She holds me tight in her arms.
"It hurts," I say in amidst my crying.
"Your face?" she asks in my ear.
"No... inside. The pain, it never goes away. I can't make it go away! I'm always either hurting or numb. So much has happened in my life and I've always had to be the strong one, not allowing myself to cry or break down. I always help others. People just hurt me, use me, then leave me. I've never told anyone all this before." My words slide out of my mouth. I trust Christina, unlike I've ever trusted anyone before. I don't have to choose my words carefully with her because I know she won't judge me.
She strokes my hair and hugs me even tighter. "I am so so sorry babygirl. I am so sorry,"
I then sit up and look into her eyes, she looks right back at me. "Chrissy, I can't even remember what true happiness feels like," I cry. Tears spill out of her eyes and I lay my head on her lap. She rubs my back.
"I won't ever give up on you babygirl, I'm going to help you find the happiness you so deserve," she whispers to me. My cries slowly subside as the darkness engulfs me.
Lisa's POV
I walk into my sisters' room to tell Christina and Bella that it's dinner time. I find Christina asleep sitting up on Katherine's bed with Bella asleep on her lap. Both have tear stained cheeks. It's a sad yet beautiful sight. I'm so glad Bella found us and we found her.
Katherine told me how she saved Sydney, how she didn't sleep last night instead taking care of Amy, and how she got into a fight this afternoon. Life never seems to get better for her. I hate to wake her and my eldest sister up but I have to.
"Christina," I say as I nudge her awake. She rubs her eyes, takes one glance at me and then quickly looks down, probably making sure Bella's okay. She breathes a sigh of relief.
"It's time for dinner," I tell her quietly as she gently shakes Bella. Bella opens one eye and mumbles "What?"
"It's dinner time sweetie," I say. She gets up and goes to the washroom to make herself look presentable.
"Are you alright?" I ask Christina.
"Not really but it's going to be okay. I'm going to get Bella through her past and to a better present and future," she tells me in a strong voice. My guess is that Bella told her some more and that it wasn't anything easy to hear.
Bella emerges from the bathroom and the three of us walk down to the kitchen, Christina walking protectively next to Bella. We all sit down but then Joey jumps onto Bella's knee. She smiles at him, pretty sure it's a fake one though.
"Hey Joey," she says.
"I heard you were in a fight today, that's so cool!" he exclaims. I see her choose her words carefully before responding.
"Honestly, it isn't as cool as you think. It really hurts and it makes you feel bad after too," she tells him.
"Really?" He looks at her with wide eyes.
"Yeah Joey, I'm telling the truth. Now how about you sit down so we can eat. My stomach is really growling and if I don't eat soon maybe a tiger will jump out," Bella says, lightening the mood. Joey, Nick, and Christian laugh and the rest of us chuckle a bit too.
Dani's POV
I have to admit, Bella is really great with kids. That joke she made to get the younger boys laughing was a good one. I know she's been going through a lot and it impresses me how she can still joke.
After dinner, I get a good idea. I heard from Lisa that Bella can sing well too so I got all the girls into the music room.
"Guys, we haven't sang in a while. I think we should. Whenever I sing, I know it makes me feel better and since a lot has happened in the past day, I think singing would be great therapy. Who's in?" I ask.
Lisa, Katherine, Christina, and Lauren instantly say yes. Amy nods. When Bella smiles at me and says sure, I grin.
"I was thinking of singing Counting Stars... sound good?" Everyone says yes and we arrange the parts and harmonies. Then we organize ourselves, deciding to stand in a circle so we can face everyone else and then begin.
Lauren:
Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive.
Lisa:
I see this life like a swingin' vine
Swing my heart across the line
In my face is flashin' signs
Seek it out and ye shall find
Lauren:
Old, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
And I don’t think the world is sold
On just doing what we’re told
Katherine:
I feel something so right
Doing the right thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the wrong thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
Lisa:
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
And baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars
Amy:
Baby, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
And, baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be, counting stars
Dani:
I feel the love
And I feel it burn
Down this river every turn
Hope is a four lettered word
Make that money
Watch it burn
Bella:
Old, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
On just doing what we’re told
Lisa:
And I feel something so wrong
At doing the wrong thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that drowns me makes me want to fly.
Christina:
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars
Katherine:
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be, counting stars
Dani:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
Dani, Lauren, and Amy:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
Dani, Lauren, Amy, Katherine, Bella, and Christina:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
All:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
Lauren:
Everything that kills me makes feel alive
Lisa:
Baby, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars
Christina:
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be, counting stars
Dani:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
Dani, Lauren, and Amy:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
Dani, Lauren, Amy, Katherine, Bella, and Christina:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned
All:
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I've learned
Bella's POV
We finish the song and I feel so close to them. I grin, as does everyone else. We then realize it's a little after midnight.
"Wow!" we all exclaim. We grab our phones and water bottles and head up to our rooms.
Amy comes up to me. "Can you stay with me again tonight? It helped a lot last night..." she asks shyly.
"Of course Amy!" I tell her. I change and am about to climb up to her bunk.
"Wait..." I say, "I have an idea although I'm not sure what you'll think of it. Can you get Lisa, Laur, and Dani in here?" She nods and goes to get them. Once everyone is in the room they all look at me waiting to hear my idea.
"Things have been crazy and tough and so much has happened," I say then pause, everyone nods, "Well back when I was about 12 at a sleepover with a few friends and we decided to sleep on the trampoline. Being together under the stars brought us closer together and it's a good memory of mine. Soooo I was thinking, what would you guys say about sleeping on the trampoline tonight?"
"Yes!!!" Dani yells.
"That sounds like a lot of fun," Lauren says.
"I'd like to," both Lisa and Kath say.
"That sounds like a really good idea Bella," Amy tells me.
Everyone looks at Christina. "Please Chrissy, pretty please with a cherry on top!" Dani says and we all laugh.
"Okay sure, it does sound pretty fun," she tells us. Dani jumps up dancing and the rest of us laugh along.
We grab a whole bunch of blankets and walk outside. It's the beginning of August so still quite warm out. We place blankets on the trampoline then get in, each of us grabbing our own blanket to place over top.
"Thanks Bella. Now I'm surrounded by everyone, it's gonna really help me sleep," Amy tells me and I smile.
"Told ya I had a good idea."
We end up with Amy and I in the middle, Katherine on Amy's side, Christina on my side, Lauren at my head and Dani at my feet.
I feel Dani tickle my toes and I giggle.
"Hey!" I say. She laughs.
"It's 1 am guys, go to sleep," Christina tells us.
"Night everyone," we all chorus.
Amy snuggles next to Katherine and I roll over to face Christina. I see her smile at me in the dark and I return it.
"Come here babygirl," she whispers. I get close and she wraps her arms around me.
"This was a really great idea, thank you. I hope this helps you too," she whispers in my ear.
"Thanks. And it is helping a lot. Goodnight Chrissy," I say.
"Goodnight Belle."
I look up at the stars for a while and mouth the lyrics of Counting Stars. That song sure was fitting. I slowly fall asleep, hoping to remember this night forever.
_______________________________________
Hey everyone(:
I especially loved writing the end of this chapter because finally they're all happy together!! I have a memory kinda like that but I wish it were as great as the one in this chapter. One day maybe, haha.
I'm so close to 200 reads like omg! I love you all so much!!
Btw I started a new Cimorelli twitter account and it's @ciminspire so go follow me!
~Courtney