"Make any new friends today?" My mom asked me this as soon as she openned the door and spotted me on the couch. I shook my head 'no' and faced my attention back to the television. I could hear her sigh, which was expected. Whenever I don't achieve what she hopes I will she gets so disappointed. I can't apologize for being the way I am though, how can I connect to people when I can't even remember the last time I had a friend.
I walked to the island in the kitchen and sat while she made her own dinner, I had eaten a few hours ago. She already seemed stressed and it was only her first day. She cut up lettuce and seemed to avoid conversation so I decided to initiate it.
"How was work? You look tired."
"It was fine, I'm a little more interested to know how your day was. Kids weren't mean, right?"
I shook my head. "Everyone was more focused on someone else, a boy came back to school today from jail." I could have slapped myself for telling my mom that, she would worry even more now.
"Oh christ," She groaned. "That's what I need, my daughter going to school with a criminal. Do you have any classes with him?"
"Lunch."
"Oh, did you meet anyone at lunch? Who did you sit with?"
"No one." This wasn't a total lie because for the first ten minutes I was alone.
"Sweetie, how can school be enjoyable when you have no friends? I promise if you let one person get to know you it could be so much better."
"I'll try." I agree, but I know it won't happen. Even if I tried to make a friend, they would have to like me back, and how could someone want to spend time with someone who can't remember fourteen years of their life.
She kissed my head and headed to her room with her dinner. I took my place back on the couch and stared at the ceiling for a long time, replaying me and Luke's conversation for the millionth time tonight. I know my mother would never approve of our friendship, but we aren't even friends, so for now I think it's safe to leave the lunch period in the dark. Who even says it will happen tomorrow? I walked up the steps and into my room, grabbing my suitcase of art supplies I kept under my bed. I knew I couldn't paint tonight, but I looked over my paintings, making adjustments if needed. Painting is such a good stress reliever for me.
Waking up on this particular morning seemed harder than usual. I knew I should push myself to make friends like my mom said so I got up slightly earlier to make myself look a little nicer with some makeup. I chose to wear jeans even though last night I told myself I should wear a dress. When I looked in the mirror though I was pleased with my appearance more than the previous day and I grabbed my bag and sat at the kitchen table until my mom was ready to take me to school.
"So, are you going to try to talk to someone today, atleast?" She asked me as we pulled in front of the school. I nodded, and grabbed my bag. I went to hug my mother goodbye but she was staring out the window. "Holland, who is that?"
I turned and someone was standing at my window waving at me. That person was Luke. "Just some boy I met yesterday." I tried to jump out of the car but she grabbed my arm.
"You didn't tell me you met a boy! Holland, that it great!" I gave her a small smile before pulling out of her grip and stepping out to a waiting Luke.
"Welcome to your second day of school, Holland. Are you ready for the grand tour?" I gave him a confused look so he would explain more. "I figure you need to know the best places in the school, so if you want, I could show you some decent places to spend time. Let me take your bag." He wasn't wearing a bag, and I tried to refuse but he took mine anyway. He began to walk so I followed and he openned the door leading inside. "You don't talk much, do you?"
"No, I guess not." I sighed. The amount of stares we were getting made me uneasy. He led me into a room that was dark and slightly musky. Inside were a few other people, five to be exact. They all sat at a table and Luke led me to them.
"Well, this is room B-12. It used to be a science lab but now it's just empty and the janitor never locks it." He sat in a chair at the table with the boys and he pulled up another seat for me next to him. "These are my friends, but you can refer to them as Zack, Matt, Calum, Michael, and Ashton." He pointed to each boy and they all said hello. I felt uncomfortable, to many people with their attention on me I assume.
Pretty soon they turned their attention to their previous conversation which seemed to be something about their band and a show. I learned Calum played the bass, Michael was the guitarist, and Ash played drums. Luke was the lead singer and Zack and Matt were their managers. They had a show in two days which was Saturday, and they seemed stressed.
"Holland, will you come?" Luke asked me mid-conversation.
"To your show?" Something inside of me lit up, excitement I think, that I was being asked to come.
"Yeah, I can pick you up before if you'd like. You could even come to our band practice if you'd like tonight. I'll take you there after school." Everything he was saying seemed very sudden. The other boys didn't seem to mind, so I agreed, although I was nervous I would have a panick attack when he drove me there. The first bell rang, and Luke grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. "Where's your first class?"
"I have no idea I didn't go yesterday, and I lost my schedule."
"Good, because I wasn't about to let you go anyway. We have much more to see."
We walked along the now empty halls for what seemed like forever until we reached double doors. They openned to an empty music room. Luke sat on a chair and patted the one next to him and suddenly I was very nervous.
"This is my sanctuary or as many call it, the music room. This is where I met my band, and where I learned I could sing. My whole future started in this room."
"So you want to be a musician?"
"Yes, ma'am. I think we might be pretty close to getting our break too. Ashton was contacted by some record label and they are coming to our show saturday."
"That's really cool." I was happy for Luke, even though I barely knew him.
"So what about you? Tell me about you." He smiled and I felt bad for avoiding the truth around him, but I didn't feel comfortable to tell him my past. I couldn't tell anyone.
"Well, my life is pretty unextrodinary, I live with my mom and I was homeschooled and now I'm here."
He chuckled. "I know your more exciting than that, but it's fine. You don't have to let the criminal in on your personal life."
"That's not it at all, there just isn't much to tell, honestly. I haven't thought about you being in jail once yet."
"Yeah, well I'm just glad your not scared of me like the rest of this school."
"I'm glad you don't ignore me like the rest of the school." We were both smiling like idiots and it was really nice. Then the door openned.
"Do not tell me you are back and cheating on me already." A voice yelled. I couldn't see a face but Luke stiffened. We turned at the same time and a girl who was clearly pissed was shooting daggers at both of us.
"I'm not, we're not, I'm-" I was studdering, something that happened quite often. Luke stood up and made his way around the chairs to the girl.
"Veronica, you told me before I left we were over. What are you doing?"
She looked at him and her face became puppy-like and she wrapped her arms around him. "I thought you were going to fight for me when you got back baby, I thought we were in love." Luke's arms remained at his sides but it seemed to me he was seconds from giving in. I stood up, grabbing my things and avoided eye contact when I walked by them to the exit.
"Holland, wait." Luke pulled out of her grip and came running to me. "We're still on for after school right?"
I wanted to yell at him, and I'm not sure why, but instead I shook my head. "I forgot I have to make dinner for my mom tonight, maybe some other time."
"Are you sure you can't just come for a little?" He seemed upset, but his girlfriend staring me down from behind him was enough to send me into panic so instead I just shook my head again and left the room. Some part of me sort of wanted Luke to come behind me to finish the tour, but I knew I was becoming crazy with our friendship and that he had every right to spend time with his girlfriend if he wanted too.
I spent the rest of the morning roaming the halls because I didn't feel like going to class. If they asked, I'd say I didn't feel well. Lunch finally came around and although I was hesitant to going I went anyway and sat at the same table as yesterday. Today I did put music on my headphones, and doodled in my notebook for a long time before every chair around me pulled out and sat around me were Luke, his band, and his managers. I took out my headphones, but I didn't say anything. When Luke said hello, I offered him a small smile. I wasn't mad at him, I was just scared of his girlfriend, and she could have been anywhere.
They all talked around me for awhile, but I couldn't help but notice how quiet Luke was, and it made me feel sad for him, I figured things didn't go so well for him and Veronica.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, hitting our knees together so I'd get his attention.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about the show is all."
Michael spoke up across the table. "You look pretty shit for someone who got laid in the music room this morning."
The table laughed and I felt a surge of energy travel through me and I didn't understand it. He laughed with his friends, but I could see him looking at me out the corner of his eye and he was probably wondering if I would think he was gross or something, but I tried to cover my shock with laughter.
"You're so fucking lucky dude, Allie won't let me get it anywhere and your girl gives it to you in school, where can I find myself a Veronica?" Calum said this and everyone laughed and gave him shit for his girlfriend who they refered to as a Virgin Mary. The boys got up after and said they were going to hang out on the lawn and left me and Luke alone.
"So, you aren't mad at me?" Luke asked a few seconds after they all left.
"Why would I be? I should congratulate you on getting some, don't worry about me."
Luke shrugged. "It honestly was nothing and I regret even telling the boys. I'm not really like that. Truth be told, I was having a lot of fun before that, with you." This made me laugh and I could tell I was probably blushing.
"Oh please, I'm dreadfully boring, you don't have to lie to me." His leg pressed against mine, which shut me up.
"You are definitly not boring, in fact, If you would have stayed I would have told Ronnie to get lost because I was having a good time."
The bell rang, saving me from an answer. I got up and walked away satisfied, and smiling to myself. For the first time I could remember, I felt like I belonged somewhere, even if it was with a criminal.
A/N:
Hope you all like the book just wanted to say I am sorry I keep calling it Luke's band it is only because Holland doesn't really know the others yet, I don't want to offend anyone. Also thank you so much for reading and if it seems like its going fast I swear the friendship is a little part that just needs to be covered before I get into anything else. I have a lot planned for this book so I swear it isn't moving to fast in the long haul.
love you and thanks for reading.