Chapter Forty-Six
I Was freaking out and he was trying to calm me down, how can he be calm at a time like this, what if I'm fucking pregnant, how could he be okay with that. We were so young and he has to go to school and residency and he doesn't have time for a baby, we don't even have time for ourselves!
"Breathe princess, It's all going to be okay." He tried to reassure me but I was not having it, I had already gotten sick from stress.
"How is this okay?" I asked
"Because I love you." he kissed my temple
"But we aren't even close to ready for something like this."
"Well we aren't sure, do you want me to go to the store and get a test?" he combed his fingers through my hair because he knew it calmed me down.
"Please." I looked up at him and I could see in his eyes he was scared but it was calmer than the complete terror in mine.
"I'll be right back." he placed a soft kiss to my lips and grabbed his keys as he walked out of the room to head to the store. I took deep breaths and had to keep wiping my palms on the bed, I could be freaking out for nothing, I mean sure people are late all the time.
It's normal for people who have a lot of unprotected sex to be late, right?
This could all just be a big misunderstanding, I hope it was. It wasn't that I didn't want kids and it wasn't that I didn't want them with Aiden, I just wasn't ready, we weren't ready. I adored children and always wanted a family but at twenty-two in a relationship with someone who I started out in a friends with benefits relationship with, who has a psycho ex and whose mother hates me, that wasn't how I wanted it.
Aiden rushed back and he brought two boxes with two tests each and I decided that when I had to go I was taking all those damn things to be sure. I set them all down and set a timer for five minutes like the box said and we sat on the bed to wait.
We said nothing but I leaned against him and I was glad he was here with me. If I was pregnant I knew I had a great guy that would be there for me and I don't know if I could do this alone. If it was positive my life was about to change forever, I just wanted it to be negative.
My phone started beeping telling me the five minutes was up and I felt sick all over again and a bubble of nervousness to build in my stomach as I walked towards the bathroom and when I looked down at the four tests I didn't know how to feel.
I looked at him and burst into a whole new round of tears and then started laughing hysterically because I was losing my mind. He looked at me with worry and confusion.
"This is just fucking fantastic." I said sarcastically and he looked at them and frowned.
Half negative, half positive.
"We can go to the doctor tomorrow." He wrapped his arm around me and I shook my head
"I have finals tomorrow and so do you, I'll be in class all freaking day the next couple days." I wanted to cry even more, not only do I not know but I won't be able to the next few damn days.
"We can go to the hospital." He suggested
"I'm not dying Aiden, they have better things to do, and you know that. I'll make an appointment for Monday." I whispered
"No matter what happens I want you to know this doesn't change the way I feel about you, I love you." he kissed my forehead and I nodded. I didn't say much but I had to get through the next few days, I have finals Thursday and Friday and then then my office was closed.
I know I could have gone to the hospital to know sooner but a part of me didn't want to know yet, a part of me wanted to go a little longer like this hadn't happened and like there wasn't a possibility that I was pregnant.
It was selfish and childish but if I was pregnant It wouldn't matter if I knew now or a few days from now.
"Let's just pretend this isn't happening until I know for sure." I said that night and he sighed
"I don't think we can." He was being reasonable
"Just for a few days, until I go to the doctor. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to think more on it then I already will. I just need to get through my finals." I needed to focus on that right now and the only way to do that is to pretend this wasn't happening.
"Okay." He agreed.
For the next few days we didn't talk about it but it was there between us. I made my appointment in-between my classes on Monday and I dove into studying for my finals and then we would have the summer off. I can't believe it was already summer again. Aiden would be working but he would have a little more time by only taking one class and not four, that boy was seriously over working himself but it was for a good cause.
I've never seen someone so dedicated to anything before and the way he passed his classes without too much struggle, it was like he was born to be a doctor; I guess having a doctor for a father helped in that sense.
I was feeling great about my finals and I requested the weekend off a month ago so that I would have some time to unwind but I was kind of regretting that now. I couldn't drink just in case and Aiden would be home as well which would make things tense.
Things have been really tense and a little awkward for us lately.
"Do you want me to go with you Monday?" he asked as we were eating dinner Saturday night and I sighed
"I'd actually rather go by myself, if that's okay." I added awkwardly and he nodded
"Of course." He smiled at me.
"I love you." I told him, it felt like ages since we've said it, things have been so tense and awkward lately and we've been really distant with each other unintentionally.
"I love you too Princess." He got up and came to my side to give me a kiss
"Can we just curl up?" I asked softly and he nodded before picking me up and bringing me to the bedroom, forgetting the rest of dinner, I laid on my side and he wrapped his arm around me from behind and pulled my body to his. I sighed in content as his other arm rested under my head.
"I'm looking forward to going away next weekend." His fingers trailed across my skin
"Me too, I've missed you."
"Soon it will all slow down, this summer it will get better." I can't believe it was already nearing summer again, I can't believe how fast the past six months have gone. It's like since school started a month feels like a day and sometimes I just wanted it to all slow down.
It's been a whole year almost since I moved here, it was still a little chilly but nothing like it was a couple weeks ago, it was getting warmer every week and I was happy for the change.
Monday was the moment of truth, we had this final week of classes to discuss our finals and what not and I had my appointment in between two of my classes and since my medical office has an on-site lab, I would know before I walked out of the building.
I was nervous as I drove over to the office and when I signed in I had to resist the urge to bolt out of the building. Why did I say I wanted to do this by myself? I wish that Aiden was here with me, he always kept me calm but it was too late to call him now, he would never get over here on time.
"Chelsie Alexander." They called my name and I looked at them uneasily, they haven't seen me, maybe I could still, nope. I got up and followed the nurse who took my weight and then brought my to do my blood pressure while I waited for my doctor.
I thought about calling him so maybe he would get here in time for the results but I reached in my pocket and realized I didn't have my phone on me. I sighed and I kicked my feet out listening to them make a thud on the table thing under me while I waited for what felt like forever.
She finally walked in and smiled at me and I tried to smile in return.
"What are we seeing you for today?" she asked
"Pregnancy test." I mumbled
"Have you taken one at home?" she asked me
"I took four, half were positive and half were negative, it didn't really help much." I mumbled
"Well we can draw some blood and the results will be back in about fifteen minutes."
"That soon?" I asked surprised
"The lab isn't very busy." I followed her from the room and looked away while they stole my blood like the little blood thieves they were, I despised needles, I could handle shots but it grossed me out that they were in my veins just kind of hanging out there for a little bit.
I shivered in disgust and they pulled the needle out and taped the cotton ball to my arm while I went back in the room to wait.
I didn't have my phone so I just sat there obsessing about what these results could hold.
When the doctor finally came back I walked out of there and drove home in kind of a haze, I didn't go to my class I needed to just go home. Was I upset or happy? I didn't know.
I walked up to the apartment wondering how I actually got here and I unlocked the door so I could curl up and sleep until Aiden got home, I didn't expect for him to already be home and I sure as hell didn't expect Emily to be here either.
I felt even more numb as I stared at them, trying to convince myself that I wasn't seeing what I was actually seeing in this moment, I waited for him to push her away but he made no move to. I sat there for at least a minute before I broke down into tears.
They were sitting on the couch and sometime in the last minute she had made her way onto his lap while he had his hand on the back of her neck and his tongue down her throat. Who knows what I would have walked in on in ten minutes.
He pulled back and looked at her and he must have seen me because he stood quickly and pushed her off of him.
"Chelsie." He said my name and I shook my head
"Let me guess, it's not what I think?" I said trying to control my emotions
"It's not. I promise." He took a step towards me and his face was pleading with me but I wouldn't give in, he cheated on me and god knows what he would have done.
"What, she jumped on you? You thought she was me? What is it Aiden?" I asked getting louder, I was yelling now.
"I kissed her." He admitted like it would somehow make it okay, it didn't.
"I'm sorry he just still loves me." Emily came over and wrapped her arms around on of his and he shrugged her off and glared at her.
"You know what, bitch?" I asked her and I pulled my arm back and punched her in her pretty little face, one hit and she went down
"You crazy bitch!" she yelled in pain holding her bleeding nose while i shook out my hand, fuck that hurt
"Damn right I'm crazy and I've been wanting to do that for months." She got up and went for me and I hit her again. I leaned over her and grabbed her chin so she would look at me "Don't fuck with me."
This probably wasn't my finest moment but that bitch had it coming.
"What the hell are you doing, you can't fight if you're pregnant." Aiden grabbed my hand and I yanked it from him.
"Well I guess you dodged a bullet there, huh? I'm not pregnant. Take that whore away for the weekend." He looked a mix between torn and crushed but I didn't care.
"Princess." He reached for me and I slapped him
"Don't ever call me that again, we're done." I ran from the room like a coward and he chased me but I got in my car and I left and then I pulled off and started crying hysterically. When I got a hold on myself I went over to Kelly's where Jules welcomed me with open arms and let me cry it out.