It felt like forever until we got to the hospital. Stupid traffic. The amount of fucking pain I was in at that point, I just wanted it over. When we finally got to the hospital, Tom parked the car in the five minute waiting bay and ran into and two minutes later, he came running out with a wheelchair and Mum chasing behind him.
They loaded me in and raced me through the emergency room and straight towards the delivery rooms. I walked around and around for hours, just praying for the pain to end but no! It just got worse and became unbearable.
……
At 4am the next morning, I gave one last push and then I heard her cries. Tom’s poor hand had turned purple in the process but Matilda was finally here. Tom cut the umbilical cord, then came and stood by my side, draping his arm over my shoulders. Madison wrapped her up in a blanket and placed her in my waiting arms. She was so tiny and absolutely gorgeous. I looked up from her amazing beauty, to look at Tom. A tear escaped his eye and he said;
"She’s perfect. I am so proud of you!" He lent down and kissed my lips.
I think Mum was giving us space to share our first family moment until she came running over from across the other side of the room. She kissed me forehead and squeezed Tom’s hand. I lent down and kissed Matilda on the cheek.
"Bronte, she is amazing."
I let out a little giggle, knowing what she said was completely true. Finally Georgia, Lincoln and Dad made their way into the room to see my beautiful daughter, although I couldn’t believe they stayed in the hospital for the whole time.
Eventually the nurse had to take Matilda to weigh her and do all those after birth things but it wasn’t long until she was back by my side.
She barely left my arms except when everyone else held her until the day we left to go home. As soon I got discharged from the hospital, Tom loaded up the car with all our presents while I placed a sleeping Matilda in her car seat and strapped her in. We made our way home, me sitting in the back seat, keeping a careful eye on Mattie and Tom slowly cruising towards home.
I walked into the house with a couple of bags in either arm, followed by Mum who had the rest of the presents and Tom carrying Matilda, heading straight towards our bedroom to put her in the bassinet. When Tom carefully placed Mattie in her bassinet, we grab each other’s hand and smile brightly at our perfect daughter.
EPILOGUE
Suddenly I am back to reality. I’m no longer 17 years old, looking down upon my newborn baby girl with Tom clutching to my side. I am no longer happy or cheerful. I am in the same hospital, lying on a similar bed, squeezing my four year old daughter’s hand. Tom is on her other side, rubbing his hand over hers. Both our eyes are swollen and sore, bright red and continuing to release the tears.
I keep having those flashbacks, replaying the happiest moments of my life. It’s like a dream but they seem so real. I want to go back there; I don’t want this to be happening. I have barely left this hospital in six weeks, feeling if I do something is going to happen. I watch as Matilda’s hair falls out by the minute. All she had was the common cold but it got worse and worse until we brought her here. She went through so many tests until the doctor announced that she has leukemia.
Our beautiful girl now lies on a hospital bed, a tube strapped to her face, helping her breathe, needles coming out of her veins attached to machines and her head almost completely bald.
We were so happy. We finally got our own house and got settled in and now Mattie has been given no longer than two weeks to live. But we have hope. She has been through chemotherapy and Tom and I have continuously prayed for her survival. Matilda is the one that brought us together and she has two married loving parents, that give her everything, provide her with everything and that she means the world too. Why did this have to happen to us? Why Matilda? She is smart and mature for her age. She keeps me sane. I love her more than my own life.
Tom and I are trying to stay strong. Throughout the past six weeks we haven’t really spoken because we have been concentrating on Mattie but this has brought us even closer than before. I eventually look up from Matilda to see Tom’s face. He is staring down at her tiny body. She’s motionless until the machines start beeping out of control.
I jump up, slamming my hand on the emergency button as Tom screams for the nurse. Her tiny body is shaking from head to toe. Over the crazy beeping of the machines, I can hear people running through the corridor, and then suddenly she is still. The beeping is now a faint hum. I choke and the tears begin to flow down my cheeks.
Two nurses come running in and stand of either side of her bed, immediately trying to shock her. For three minutes they fiddle with the machines and her limp body. Tom comes around the bed to stand beside me and grabs my waist. I hold the edge of her bed for support as I hear Tom’s sobs in the background.
One of the nurses turns towards us and says;
"I’m sorry," and shakes her head.
Tom and I burst into tears, hugging each other and then crouching over her lifeless body.
"I love you forever and always, Matilda Elise Oliver." I cried.
We never leave her side until the nurse came and covered her body with a sheet…..
….. And she’s gone!
THE END!