I thought the two previous summers were the worst I would ever have to endure. But I was wrong.
Malfoy Manor has been my home for several years, but this year, things were different. Since Lucius's return, the Manor no longer belongs souly, to the Malfoy's.
Voldemort lives here full time, unless he is travelling. The place I once thought of as home, is now the Death Eaters headquarters.
Since Snape is apparently too busy to sit by a potion for hours, I have been made Voldemort's official potions brewer. I spend most of my time, in the Malfoy's potions lab, breathing in the fumes from dangerous, dark potions.
The sulpher some of them produce, burn my eyes as I stir them, or add new ingredients. And the smoke makes me choke, even when I'm no longer in the room.
But it some ways, I got off lightly.
Voldemort has Draco following him around, like a puppy. He forces Draco to use the Unforgivable Curses, on people who have dissappointed him.
Draco knows that if he refuses, the spells will be used on him instead. So he has no choice, the same as me.
I dream about going back to Hogwarts, but I know I will not be able to escape Voldemort's wrath there. With Snape as Headmaster, I could just about cope.
But the Carrows are now in charge of punishment, among other things. Amycus is to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, while his sister Alecto teaches Muggle Studies. Which is now a compulsery subject.
Since the death of the Minister for Magic, everything has changed. With his puppet working in the Ministry, under the Imperius Curse, Voldemort is virtually in control of the whole Wizarding world.
But despite all his power, and followers, Harry still escaped his grasp multiple times. Proving that power isn't everything.
Despite everything I said to Harry, I don't want him killed. He is our only chance to get out of this mess.
So I just hope he comes up with something fast, before it's too late.
The current climate has made me unstable, and turned Draco into a shivering wreck. Gone are his smug days, full of intimidation and gloating. Draco can barely look at Voldemort, he keeps his eyes on his toes, whenever the Dark Lord is in the room.
I haven't quite got to that state of fear yet. I just feel sad and depressed all of the time, and nothing can cheer me up.
Me and Draco spend each night together, too scared to sleep alone. We depend on each other's company to remain sane, but it's not always enough.
Half-way into the holidays, Voldemort took me back to the orphanage where I grew up, to gloat. The Death Eaters had burned the place to the ground, with no confirmed survivers.
The place where I had spent the first 13 years of my life, was gone. All the people I had known, were dead.
And the Death Eaters had done this for fun, on Voldemort's orders.
I didn't think I would ever be the same after that.
Having to live in the same place as a man who had ordered for a building full of children, to be burned, wasn't something I thought I could live with.
The only thing that stopped me from taking my own life then, was Draco. The thought of leaving him alone, with Voldemort, gave me the strength I needed to carry on.
"I don't know what I'd do without you Zoe" muttered Draco, that night.
His arm was around my shoulders, as I lay by his side, in his room.
"I can't believe he would do that, just to prove a point" I replied. My mind still on the orphanage, that had been burned to a crisp.
"I get that he hates Muggles. But there is a difference between hating certain people, and wanting to wipe them all out. I mean, I hate white chocolate, but I not going to go and kill everyone who likes it...
I hate him. He's destroyed the whole world, just because he wants to put himself on top, and be king of the ashes. And he doesn't care who gets hurt along the way" I continued.
Draco stayed silent, and allowed me to let out all my hate. Unlike me, Draco was afraid to say anything about Voldemort, even when we were alone.
The man (if you can even call him that) scared Draco, straight down to the bone.
"Who were you torturing today, I heard the screams from the potions lab?" I asked.
Draco shuffled uncomfortably.
"Rowle" he whispered.
"What had he done?"
"He let Potter escape, again"
"Ah... is Rowle still alive?"
"Barely... He doesn't want to kill all those who fail him. He won't have any followers left if he does"
"Makes sense... I expect less than half of his Death Eaters, follow him because they love his ideas. Most people follow him, out of fear. Us included".
"I don't know how I will cope without you" repeated Draco.
"You already said that. But you don't need to worry, I'm not going anywhere. I promise".
"No, you don't understand. When we go back to Hogwarts, we won't be able to sleep in the same bed. We aren't even in the same house, or the same year, and I need you by my side, at all times" he explained.
"I know. But when we're there, he won't be around, so we won't need to be so afraid. I'm sure we will manage to sleep in our own beds, in our dorms, with our friends... Things at Hogwarts won't be the same this year, but anything is better than staying here" I replied.
"What about Mother and Father?"
"I'm sure they'll be fine. He doesn't like using Lucius much any more, so he won't have any reason to hurt your father. And Narcissa isn't even an official Death Eater, so I'm sure she'll be fine"
"I hope you are right"
"So do I Draco. So, do, I".