MojoVision is proud to present: The Amazing Nightcrawler and the Fearless Wolverine, making their return to MojoVision in a BRAND NEW season, filled with daring do and darling damsels in distress!
When last we saw our heroes, MojoVision provided, for your entertainment, an up-close view of the grudge match that is Sabretooth vs. Wolverine. Viewers will recall the heart-stopping horror when it was revealed this this time — it's personal!
The shocking plot twist that Wolverine has fallen in love left our viewers thirsty for more — and not to be outdone, MojoVision has striven to ensure that not only these fierce lovers but also the valiant sidekicks — Nightcrawler and his purple-clad new lady in love — will get to show their stuff!
When last we saw our heroes, they had defeated the fearsome Sabretooth, only to find that they were too late to save the lovely lady — or were they? Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen and aliens of all ages, this brunette wonder is heartier than she looks!
The shock! A broken neck was remedied, and love did, in fact, win out!
It seems romance is in the air for Wolverine's best friend as well. Our viewers will remember the debonair swordsman's touching and gentlemanly exit with his own mysterious archer — yes, guys and girls, everyone's favorite blue X-Man has fallen for the one and only prodigy of the great Avenger Hawkeye.
This new season of "The Amazing Nightcrawler and the Fearless Wolverine" features all the twists and turns and heart-pounding excitement that our viewers have come to expect — along with the touching romance to span the ages. Literally!
Without any further ado, we present to you the first episode for your delectation and delight: "Damsels in Distress!"
When K woke up, she had to narrow her eyes as she looked around her. Nothing was familiar, but she didn't think she'd been hurt. She shifted a bit and froze when she felt the movement of fabric that she had not been wearing when she left before she looked down at herself and sat up quickly.
"Kate?" she called out as she took in her appearance. Tight bodice, big skirt, and it looked to her, as she glanced around the bed she was on and the room she was in, that they were trapped in some stupid story book. Stone castle walls, four-poster beds, long banners as decorations — and a definitely authentic, musty smell.
Not to mention the rose petals on the bed and floor....
When she got to a mirror, she let out a string of expletives that would make a sailor blush. "I'm not an effing princess," K said through clenched teeth as she took in the very medieval blue and silver dress and upswept hair that was clearly nothing she would have ever chosen for herself.
She looked across the room and just had to shake her head in irritation when she spotted Kate on the other four-poster in the room, laid out in the classic sleeping princess pose with rose petals in her spread-out hair and her hands resting on her middle. "At least they got her color right," K muttered, frowning at the purple bodice and dress as she rushed over to wake her up.
"Kate, come on, I'm not kissing you," K said as she gently shook her arm. "Come on."
Kate groaned softly and blearily pushed K's arm away as she sat up and looked around, though she woke up fast when she saw what K was wearing. "Why. The heck. Are you wearing that?"
"Do you honestly think that I would wear this? On purpose?" K asked as she gestured to the bodice. "I'm not .. no."
Kate just stared at her friend for a moment and then looked down at her own purple-laced dress and bared her teeth at it. "Whoever put me in this is going to lose their hands," she said, the distaste dropping from every word as she picked up some of the fabric of the skirt to glare at it.
"No kidding," K replied. "You know there was a lot of uninvited touching."
Kate looked down at the busty contraption and glared harder. "Gonna have the eyes that snuck peeks too. You and I are going to be busy," she said as she threw her legs over the side of the rose-covered bed and picked a few flowers out of her hair with a few whispered what the futz's the more she discovered of their surroundings.
"Careful with the shoes, they're not ... normal," K pointed out before Kate could get to her feet.
Kate picked up the hem of her dress and swore very loudly. "I'm not wearing these," she said as she pried the offending high-heeled shoes off. "I am not wearing glass slippers."
"At least we have both of them," K teased.
"If we hadn't, and whoever's behind this gave the second slipper to anyone but Kurt, we'd be having words," Kate said with a little smirk. "Well, not so much words as arrows, but you get the idea." She tossed the slippers onto the bed before she looked around the room, taking in the stone walls and heavy wooden door as well as the windows that were definitely too thin for them to slip through. "Alright. Let's blow this medieval popsicle stand."
"Yes, please," K replied, offering Kate a hand up.
When they got to the door, naturally it was locked, and K looked at the side of it with a frown. "Hinges are on the outside. You know what that means, right?" She was pulling up her skirt as she took a few steps backward.
"I love breaking down doors," Kate said with a brilliant grin. "And it's gonna feel so cathartic breaking stuff," she added as she picked yet another petal out of her hair.
"Let me try first. If I can't kick it down, there will be things to be cut first, and I don't want you breaking your dainty princess foot." With that, K took a few quick steps forward to leap up and kick the door right at the knob. It swung forward with a heavy clang that rattled a few sculptures outside to the ground. K swept into a dramatic curtsey. "After you, Hawkeye."
Kate smirked and curtseyed, "Why thank you, Lady K," she said before she led the way down the winding stairs. Apparently, they'd been at the top of a pretty steep tower — which somehow was a surprise to neither of them but was still frustrating, considering the long climb back down that they were forced to do.
Kate did take the time to peer through one of the thin windows, only about as wide as her hand, to see if she could gauge where they were, though that wasn't actually helpful. As far as she could tell, this was exactly what it seemed to be from the inside — a Medieval-style castle, with fields beyond the walls and nothing that looked even remotely modern, at least as far as she could see.
So we probably won't be able to call anybody, she thought, frowning at the situation before she shook her head and rushed to catch up to K.
As they worked their way down the long staircase, tucking and tying their skirts around their legs so they could move more easily, they thought they could hear a low sort of rumbling, though they weren't concerned just yet. It sounded sort of like machinery — which could actually help them, really.
"Remind me to tell you about my last escape from a castle tower," Kate said quietly to K. "Sad to say, this is not my first time. Though that time I was wearing Kurt's shirt, not this... thing," she added, making a face at the dress.
"I think I'd prefer the guy's shirt myself," K agreed. "Remind me later how to show you how to turn a button down shirt into a temporary dress. Saves hassles and avoids the walk of shame."
"I think we're way past that point anyway," Kate laughed.
"In this outfit. Oh ... for sure," K deadpanned. "Well beyond shameful."
They continued on down the stone steps as carefully and quietly as the mass of fabric they were wearing would allow, and by Kate's estimation, they were nearly at the bottom of the tower when something distinctly not mechanical let out a deafening roar.
"That ... bullshit," K said as she stared at Kate.
Kate nodded her agreement but couldn't even think of anything witty to say for several long seconds as she glanced around the walls for something to use. Finally, she spotted a coat of arms and broke into a grin. "Feel like slaying a dragon, Lady K?" she asked as she pulled the sworn from the suit of armor at the bottom of the stairs— it wasn't ideal, but she could use it. "Or whatever the heck that is down there?"
When Kurt began to stir awake, he was surprised at how heavy his arms felt as he tried to push himself upright, still a bit bleary-eyed as he went to take in his surroundings — and simply had to stare for a moment at the sight of the metal armor around his arm as he did so.
Blinking hard, he quickly took stock of himself to find that he was in full knight's armor — even his tail was coated in chain maille — and that he and Logan, who was similarly dressed, seemed to be lying outside a stable, where two well-decorated horses were being kept. Based on the deep blue decorations on one and the light yellow on the other, Kurt was sure they had been placed there on purpose.
He jumped to his feet — or tried to. A sudden stop and hard pull on his left arm drew his attention to the fact that moving would be a little more difficult with 300 pounds of Logan attached to that arm, and he sank back down to a sitting position to try and shake his friend awake. "Logan, mein Freund, wake up," he said as he kept half an eye on his friend and the rest of his attention on the energy restraint between their hands that were keeping them together. It was light enough that he hadn't immediately noticed it, but the energy itself was crackling and bright.
As soon as Logan had cracked half an eye open, Kurt smiled at him and couldn't resist: "We're not in Kansas anymore, Wolverine."
"Elf, I'm not in the mood for this. My head's killin' me," Logan said, but when he moved his arm, he looked down at the armor and groaned. "What the flamin' hell is this all about?"
"I don't know yet, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," Kurt said, offering Logan his other hand to get to their feet.
Logan shook his head as he looked at his best friend. "Not too many people would try and pull this stunt," he said.
"Yes, well, perhaps we can figure out the 'who' after we get our bearings more properly," Kurt said, looking around the stable with a small frown.
Logan narrowed his eyes and looked beyond the stable, clearly scenting the place. "So ... where are the girls?"
Kurt shook his head. "I haven't seen either of them yet," he admitted. "But if they've been taken as well, I'm sure they're just as displeased with their situation as we are."
"Let's get moving, I wouldn't want to be the guy that did this when they figure it out." He shot Kurt a little smirk. "What do you think they've got them in?"
"That depends entirely on the role they're supposed to play," Kurt said with a bit of a sigh. "What do you think the chances are they have their own armor and weapons?" he asked, some of the teasing showing through with a light smirk.
"I wouldn't bet on that one, somehow," Logan chuckled. "I've got the distinct feeling they're not going to be pleased."
"I can already hear Kate's argument that her skill set is perfectly suited to this environment," Kurt couldn't help but chuckle.
"K too," Logan nodded, gesturing to the horses. "Don't mean it'll be used right though."
Kurt had to laugh quietly as the two of them stepped around the stables into a more open field, where they could see the big, obvious castle just on the horizon like a neon sign as to where the girl were. Kurt was just about to turn to Logan and ask him how he felt about rescuing princesses when there was a rumbling roar that shook the ground even from this distance, and his eyes widened as he looked to his friend.
"Well, mein Freund, I think our princesses are being kept by a dragon," Kurt said, both eyebrows high on his head.
"Ya think?" he muttered before shaking his head. "Oh, they are going to be so thrilled with this," Logan said like a curse under his breath. He looked Kurt's way with a smirk. "So, we riding or usin' alternative transportation?"
Kurt picked up the hand that was still attached to Logan's. "I think, for the sake of simplicity, let's not try to ride in this state," he said with a nod before he teleported them both to the castle in an instant.
They reappeared just outside the doors, and Logan looked over to Kurt with a raised eyebrow for just a moment before he simply cut them an entrance through the large wooden door — though when they stepped through, both of them had to pause and just... laugh as they took in what the girls were doing.
Both of the girls were wearing the most ridiculous dresses, low cut and frilly, but they'd taken the skirts and wrapped them around their legs, tying the ends up at the waist so they could move around better. Kate had taken a sword from a decoration somewhere, as well as a shield from a suit of armor, and she was advancing toward a huge dragon, dancing around it and getting closer and closer.
K didn't have a sword, but when the large, red dragon that was at least the size of the banquet hall they were in roared at her, it seemed K lost her temper. "You. Don't. Yell. At me!" K shouted back, baring her teeth at the dragon and running in under its neck to sink her hands into its sides, and where she pulled her hands back, there were three obvious holes.
Kurt glanced over at Logan, who looked almost amused as the two girls took turns putting holes in the dragon — who despite its size, didn't seem to have quite the speed to keep up with the two of them at once. He reached for the sword at his hip that had apparently come with the armor and drew it with a little grin. "Well, shall we join the fun?" he asked.
Logan simply tipped his head at the dragon for a moment before the two friends took off at a run toward the big red beast.
"Oh look, K, it's our knights in shining armor," Kate said dryly as she popped back up from the ground after rolling away from a torrent of fire that would at least have caught all that lace up in flames. "Even came with the aluminum foil."
"Tasty little hot pockets," K agreed. "Ready for roasting."
The dragon roared again, this time in obvious frustration as it snapped at K, who just sidestepped out of the way of the long teeth before Kate stuck her sword in its eye while it was down close enough for her to reach, which just got another loud roar and a plume of fire that had both girls putting out embers on their lace dresses.
"Fire hazard, these things," Kate muttered.
K nodded before she ran forward again and started to climb up on the creature, using what she could to get onto its back. "Like rock climbing with stabbing at the end," she called down to Kate as she started to shimmy up its neck.
"Best kind of rock climbing, I'd say," Kate replied as she slipped around the dragon, drawing its attention even as she made her way closer to the boys, who were just doing as much damage to its sides as they could while it tried to shake off K.
It took some work, but between head shakes, K shimmied up to its head, and before it could try anything too smart, she simply sunk her claws into the back of its skull, mid roar. In a final show of defiance, the dragon whipped its head to the side, dropping K flat on her back as it reared up to go over.
With a familiar-sounding bamf, both of the boys arrived, and Kurt put a hand on her arm to teleport her out of the way of the dragon before it fell over with a shudder that shook the castle to its very foundation — with all four of them well out of its path.
Kate came up to join the three of them, flipping the sword in her hand with a sooty grin. "How are you both not, like, in little ovens in there? That can't be comfortable," she teased as she slipped over to snag Kurt around the waist and made a show of hissing at the hot metal when she touched him.
"You avoid the flames," Kurt replied before he gave her a grin. "And what about you two? It looks as though you got blood on your pretty dresses."
"Bite me," K half snarled as Logan steadied her, holding her closely — still dizzy from the 'port.
Kate chuckled at her friend and then looked Kurt over with a widening grin, in a much better mood now that the boys were back and the dragon wasn't an issue. "I like the tail," she said, gesturing to the mesh-covered tail behind him. "You get all your armor custom-made, Sir Nightcrawler?"
"Apparently so," Kurt said as he spotted a camera, a glint of metal in all the smoke, in the far corner of the room. "And ... I know where we are too." He gestured with the mesh-covered tail toward the hovering camera. "Mojo."
"Explains the stupid outfits and the dumb, overplayed scenario," Logan agreed.
Kate followed their gaze and frowned when she saw the free-floating little device. "So how do we—"
But before Kate could finish the question, there was a loud hiss as part of the castle just seemed to open up and gas poured in on the group of them from all sides. As Kate's vision started to blur, she felt Kurt's arms and tail both wrap around her, and she saw for just a second that Logan was trying to hold onto K as well before she simply blacked out, with the others not far behind.