Trigger warning: disturbing scene towards the end of the chapter.
*
Most of the crew woke up considerably late the morning after.
You opened your eyes when the sun was already bright outside, light filtering in the cabin.
The sheet was wrinkled around your waist and fingers. When you stretched your muscles, you noticed Kid's flesh arm abandoned over your side, while his forehead leaned on your back.
Your body felt sore and your inner walls were achy.
«LAND!»
The lookout's yell resounded from the deck.
«Kid?»
A low groan told you he woke up too.
You frowned.
«We reached an island?»
«Hm.»
«I didn't know that–WAH!»
You squealed when Kid took a bite from your hip before lifting himself up.
«You're not supposed to know.» he said, ruffling his bed-hair.
You glared at him, collecting the sheet around your naked body.
«What are you doing? There's nothing I haven't seen already there.» he snickered, tilting his head and letting the shock of red hair follow his movement.
«There's nothing you didn't mark either.» you mumbled, glancing at the skin under the sheet.
His eyes dropped on the mattress and the smile disappeared from his features.
«What's that?»
You followed his gaze and gasped at the wide red stain.
«Fuck.»
«I didn't make you bleed so much yesterday...» his attention flicked on you «...did I?»
«No, it's not you.» you grumbled, pouting «It's my period. Well, at least I'm not pregnant.»
«I hope so!» he blurted «I'm using those fucking things to avoid it!»
«Yeah, you didn't always use them.» you rolled your eyes «Anyway, I'll bleed a lot for a few days. Get used to it.»
«No no no no no no no, I can't see that shit.» he said, opening the door of the bathroom «Fuck, you even smell like blood!»
You lifted an eyebrow.
What is he, a bloodhound?
«What's the matter, Eustass? I though you were a fan of blood.»
His fingers tightened the grip around the door and the wood started to crack.
«That's exactly the matter.» he hissed without turning.
You blinked.
Oh.
It triggers his sadistic side.
«Fine. I'll take care of this.»
«Good.» he quickly said, before getting in the bathroom.
While he was in the shower, you took away the sheets and throw them in a corner, to be brought in the laundry room later.
Replaying Kid's reaction in your head, a small smile formed on your face before you could avoid it.
Is he trying to protect me from his sadism?
The menstrual pain started to wrap around your uterus, while your vagina was burning from his recent attentions, tough.
Thankfully, pads were on the list you gave the doctor last time they docked, so you were prepared.
The captain came back pretty soon, and you got ready for your turn.
«So... you really bleed for days.» he mumbled rubbing his hair with a towel, suspicious eyes running up and down your figure.
A cough of laughter kept you on the bathroom's threshold.
«I beg your pardon?»
«How do women even survive it?»
«Honestly, no idea.»
The pain got quickly worse than you expected, so when you stepped on the deck you were pale with purple circles around your eyes, limping (okay, that was maybe for another reason), and with hands constantly massaging your tummy.
Some pirates were gathered on the railing to check out the island, which was now totally visible on the horizon.
The Mohican leaned back to greet you, his face immediately curling in a grimace.
«Why do you always look like a punching bag in the morning? Oh... never mind. Don't answer that.»
You walked over, hitting his arm.
«It's not what you're thinking, dumbass.» you grumbled «Okay... it's not just what you're thinking, dumbass.»
He chuckled, while you turned to peer at the island.
«Are we docking?»
«Yep,» he confirmed «but just briefly. We need to restock some food and water.»
You slid between two huge pirates to gain a place at the railing.
«Are there any towns at all? Looks like a small jungle from here.»
One of them shrugged.
«Enough to hunt something down.»
A sudden cramp made you groan.
«You okay girl?»
«Yeah, yeah.» you replied, shuffling towards the infirmary.
«What do you want? I don't need help right now.»
«Good morning to you too, doctor.»
You reached the bed and let yourself fall on it.
«Do you have something for menstrual pain?»
He finally turned to you from his desk.
«Sure. Plenty of stuff. I mean, you can never run out of those when you live on a men-only ship.»
You sent a murdering glare in his direction and he shifted his weight nervously.
«...and I forgot how dangerous women can be on those days. Let me check what I got.»
After rummaging among his drugs, he approached you with two pills and a glass of water.
«Here. One is a generic painkiller and the other should relax your smooth muscles.»
«Thanks.»
You quickly gulped then down before lying back on the bed.
«Is your period always so painful?»
You shook your head.
«Most of the women in the Marines undergo monthly injections that keep our period brief, poor and painless. Obviously, I missed my last one... my body must be protesting.»
«Are you losing a lot of blood?»
«Definitely.»
The doctor nodded and returned to his desk.
«You can stay there and rest. Half of the crew is going ashore, so it should be a calm day anyway.» he glanced at you «Unless you're planning to escape on that island.»
«Yeah, on an abandoned jungle in the middle of the New World. Because I'm a smart chick.»
He sighed.
«Regular [Y/n] is bad. [Y/n] on her period will be the death of me.»
It took a couple of hours to reach the land.
Eventually curiosity won you over, and you crawled out of the infirmary to take a look.
The ship was idly circumnavigating the shore, searching for a good spot to drop anchor.
No sound was coming from the island, with the exception of some animals' cries. It was impossible to see anything beyond the dense vegetation, and an aura of mystery oozed from it.
The crew seemed excited.
When your eyes landed on that place, your stomach immediately churned.
You spotted Kid and Killer observing it too and you moved closer to them.
«Are you going?» you asked, voice weaker than you expected.
Kid had an expectant smile on his face.
«Sure.»
Killer observed you for a brief moment.
«Is your haki saying something?»
At your hum, Kid turned to you as well.
«I don't like this place.» you muttered, eyes fixed on the silent jungle.
A group of birds rose from the trees, quickly disappearing in the green.
Kid's smile just got wider.
«This makes it even more interesting.»
«Remember we don't have much time.» Killer said.
The captain snorted.
«Don't tell me what to do!»
«Anchor dropped, tenders ready.» Wire informed, approaching.
«Good. Killer, Wire, take a few men and come with me. Heat is in charge of the ship.»
The first mate started to point other pirates out of the crew.
You noticed how he chose the strongest ones: the Mohican, Booka, Thorin, Leo...
Looks like he trusts my Observation, after all.
«Hey!» you called Kid, before he could jump down on the little boat.
He turned with a frown.
«What?»
You sent a quick glance to the island.
I have a bad feeling about it.
«You could use a sniper out there.»
He studied you.
You felt Killer's eyes on your back too.
But your uterus crumbled in protest, and your hand automatically clenched at your lower abdomen.
Shit.
Kid shook his head.
«Not one in your shape. You stay on the ship.»
You sighed. This time he had a point.
«Fine.»
He jumped outboard, part of his crew following closely.
«Fuck yeah, I craved land!» the Mohican uttered.
«You'll see, Thorin, I'm gonna take down a beast ten time yours!»
«Less talking, more walking, Leo.»
«Aw, the little marine is worried for us?» Booka sneered at you, his heavy hand running to ruffle your hair.
You swatted it away and he jumped down with a laugh.
«We'll be back soon.» Killer said.
His voice sounded somehow soft.
«Yeah, whatever.» you muttered before he followed his comrades.
Heat approached from behind as you and the rest of the crew watched them leave.
«You're very pale. You should go lay down.»
Your gaze followed the boat until it reached the rocks on the shore.
A heavy but warm hand was placed on your shoulder.
«Don't worry. We do this all the time.» Heat said.
A new denial bloomed on your tongue, but for some reason you decided to keep your mouth closed. Instead, you just nodded.
Due to the untamed pain and sore body, you spent most of the day rolling on the infirmary bed.
The noises from the pirates filtered from the deck, calming you down.
Ironic, isn't it?
When the sun started to go down, you finally dozed off.
«Would you like to visit your home island?»
Surprise entered your face as you quickly turned to the tall man pedalling.
The bicycle was lazily proceeding on the ice stream. The sea was calm.
«Why would I?»
Aokiji shrugged.
«It's just a question. It's been a few years now, teens usually want to know where they come from, don't they?»
You pouted, looking at the blue sky above.
«I don't care about that crappy place. Besides, isn't it in a Yonko's territory or something?»
He hummed.
After a few minutes of silence, your mouth twitched.
«Aokiji-sensei?»
«Hm.»
«The day you took me in... what were you doing on a useless island in hostile waters?»
You saw him tilting his head, as he was trying to focus.
«Who knows. It's been a lot of time, I don't remember.»
«Fine.»
You eyes went back to the sea.
You didn't really care after all.
An urgent shake coldly dragged you back to reality.
You squinted in the half-darkness of the room.
«Girl. Get up. Something happened.»
The voice of the doctor made you lift immediately.
«Wha-what happened?» you stuttered, rubbing your face in attempt to wake you up completely.
However, he didn't wait for you to and quickly reached the open door of the infirmary, crawling outside.
The sun was gone, but the evening was still clear, it couldn't be too late.
Cursing against your sore muscles, you threw your legs on the floor and hurried out of the cabin.
A strange silence floated on the deck, despite the pirates being gathered all around.
«Captain...» someone whispered.
«Shut up!» someone else hissed.
You could hear heavy strides beyond the little crowd.
Are they back?
You pushed your way between some big men to see what was going on. When you reached the limit of the group, your breath was cut.
Yes, they were back.
Wire, who had a long deep cut running along his side, was supporting the Mohican, whose leg had two arrows pierced in it. Booka's massive arms were covered in blood and he was shaking (shaking!), restless fists clenching and unclenching.
But you barely noticed all that.
Kid stood in front of them, a dark shadow shielding his lowered face, and he was red. All of him.
It was like he bathed in blood.
The dense liquid was dripping on the floor, staining the deck.
But it can't be his. It can't be ALL his.
He wasn't moving. No one was.
Leo's wheezing was maybe the only sound on the ship.
Trying to focus in the darkness, you started to notice different wounds on the captain's body. Some seemed arrow's marks, other were cuts.
An oppressive sense of worry thickened in your chest and, before you knew it, you dashed towards him.
«Kid!»
You ran just a few feet before someone grabbed you from behind, holding you back. A strong arm immediately slipped on your mouth, pressing your face against his torso, muffling you.
«[Y/n], freeze.»
It was Killer's voice, but it was merely a whisper blew in your ear.
Your fingers had already jerked on his grab, and you realized it was slimy.
More blood.
For some reason, you decided to listen.
Your arms dropped and your body grew still in his grip, so he loosened it, although he didn't let you go.
You could get a glimpse of Kid's face now.
It was stained with dark halos, but his eyes...
Fuck.
His amber eyes were wide open, vitreous in the void.
You realized the whole crew was immobile and flattened against the railing, wary gazes fixed on their captain.
Nobody moved for what seemed an eternity.
Finally, Kid took a step forward, startling the whole crew.
However, he headed to his cabin, a clear path immediately opening in front of him and a red path pouring behind.
When he disappeared below deck, Killer let you go.
«What happened?» you cried, swiftly turning to face him.
The Massacre Soldier had tore clothes, a bad wound opened on his stomach, and blood squirts on his mask.
Other pirates moved around their injured crewmates to help them.
Heat briefly observed the situation, before stepping by your side.
«Killer?» he asked.
«We were ambushed by the natives. Apparently, they had a great control over their Observation haki and they were incredibly strong. We should have seen that coming, from a tribe that survived the New World uncontaminated for so long.»
Your gaze trailed on the men who came back. A frown started to wrinkle your features.
«Wait... where's...»
«Thorin is dead.»
Your dilated eyes darted on Killer.
Heat's breath stopped.
«What?»
«He's dead. He covered for Kid.»
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
«Kid went berserk. There is no one left alive on that island.»
«Fuck! FUCK!» Booka shouted, letting himself drop on the deck, tormented hands running through his locks.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, every beat sending pain in your veins.
And why? For a pirate you barely knew?
You bit your lip, roughly rubbing away a stray tear.
Broken curses and massive fists breaking stuff filled the deck.
With his face still and his muscles tense, Heat helped Wire to bring the Mohican to the infirmary.
The crew was devastated.
You noticed that the recruits had quickly disappeared from the deck.
«[Y/n].»
You turned to Killer.
His voice sounded low and strained.
«Try to keep a low profile tonight. The men could rage.»
Strangely, you were totally calm.
The only thing you could think of was Thorin's grin. He was always grinning like an idiot.
You lightly touched his arm.
«You should step by the infirmary and then go to rest.» you just said.
Killer tilted his head, confused by your sudden softness.
He watched you approaching Booka, who shoved his head between his arms and had already punched a few comrades who tried to lift him.
«Hey, big guy.»
«Go the fuck away, [Y/n].»
«I will. After stitching you up. Come on.»
He lifted his furious glare on you and harshly grabbed your arm, pounding you on the wooden beams.
You shielded your face just in time not to break your nose.
«I SAID GET THE FUCK AWAY, MARINE!» he roared.
With a quick tug, you escaped his grip and jumped back on your feet. He stood do face you, unable to control his anger.
The pirates around you retracted, with the exception of Killer, who stepped forward, but you gestured him to stop.
«Who do you think you are?!» Booka was still yelling «You don't know shit about this crew! Know your place, fucking marine, before I show you!»
You flexed your leg, adopting a fighting posture, ignoring the menstrual pain.
«Go on then.»
He growled and jumped on you, deadly punch ready to hit.
You dodged it by crouching and placed a clean kick on his shin, right where you saw he was heavily wounded.
Booka let out a pained squeak and rolled on the deck, holding his leg.
«Fucking... bitch...»
You relaxed.
«You can't even face a tiny girl in your condition. Let me patch you up, then you can cry your friend.»
The pirates observed you while you kneeled beside him and palmed his sweated bicep.
He tensed up at first, but his curled expression soon transitioned to tormented sadness.
«Come on.» you whispered.
He sat, burning eyes still flicking on you. His fingers clenched on your shirt.
«He was...»
His lower lip trembled for a second, then Booka's forehead dropped on your shoulder.
«He was an idiot.»
«I know.»
You patted his head.
«I know.»
After a few moments, you helped him standing. Without another word, he headed to the infirmary.
«Okay, you can handle the crew.» Killer said, approaching you.
You looked at his mask, then your attention dropped on the wound on his stomach.
Your hand slowly approached his ragged T-shirt, but before you could touch it, he intercepted your wrist.
Your eyes lifted on his face.
«You should come too.»
«I can take care of it myself. The others have more serious injuries.»
You sighed, letting your arm fall by your side.
«Fine.»
«[Y/n].»
«Yes?»
«Don't go back to Kid's cabin tonight.»
You didn't reply, eyes wandering over the railing.
«I'm serious. I know that you two are close, but... that thing is not Kid.»
«What do you mean?»
«It happened before. He goes mad, kills a lot. It takes a while for his right mind to come back, afterwards. Right now it's like he doesn't even see what's around him.»
«You say... Thorin covered for him.»
Killer nodded.
«This is bad. If he hurts you now, he will never forgive himself.»
You bit your lip.
«Would he?»
The first mate shifted his weight, then he placed his hand on your shoulder.
«Please, don't go to him.»
You hesitated.
«Okay.»
During the following two hours, you stayed in the infirmary to assist the doctor.
He took care of the Mohican's leg, while you attended Leo and Booka's wounds and Heat helped disinfecting Wire's.
The pirates weren't talking much, and you could sense their pain through their wrinkled frowns.
Outside, on the deck, most of their crewmates were already drunk. A few brawls started here and there, but even in their dolorous state of mind, they knew better than to disturb Kid.
«I'm done here.» you said, delicately wiping Booka's stitches «You're fine.»
He grumbled something without looking at you, then headed out.
The Mohican had fallen in a tormented sleep thanks to the painkillers, and the doctor was now checking on Wire.
Heat stood nearby, arms crossed.
You walked beside him.
«The doctor and I can finish up here. You can go rest.»
His sad gaze slid on you.
«Okay.»
You looked at him reaching the door.
«Heat.»
The pirate stopped and lightly turned to your direction.
«If you... umh... call me if you need anything.» you muttered, dropping your eyes.
He observed you for a second, then he stretched his arm. His fingers brushed your cheeks before he turned and got away.
When every wound was attended, you moved the medical tools on the doctor's desk.
«I'll be on the deck.» you told him, heading to the exit.
«Hey, girl.»
«What?»
He stared at you for a brief moment, before returning to his instruments.
«Don't do anything stupid.»
You scoffed.
On your way, you passed Kid's cabin and lingered.
Your rational self was telling you Killer was right. He had known Kid since forever and what about you? You had known him for barely more than two weeks.
If he said it was not safe, it was not safe.
Except you couldn't stop thinking about the night before, how his fingers could be so rough and gentle on your skin at the same time, at the intense look in his eyes when he stared at you, how he gruffly tried to protect you from his sadistic craves, the shudders on his body when your touch brushed his scars...
You swallowed.
How much pain could put him into that misery?
Losing a close comrade was devastating for every crew, but the captain always took the greatest burden. Plus, Thorin probably died to save him.
Was a coarse, proud man like Eustass Kid able to accept he lost something because of it?
And if that wasn't enough, you didn't know the extent of his physical injuries. He could have been in danger.
You placed a hand on the door and realized you were sweating.
Okay. Okay, I'll just take a quick look to assess the situation, that's all.
You knocked.
No reply.
«Kid, I'm coming in.» you murmured, slowly opening the door.
You were more or less ready for the dagger that came flying in your direction, but it was the first time it actually glanced your cheek before you jumped aside.
Holy crap.
Was he trying to kill me?
Kid stood in the centre of the room, perfectly still, back at you.
Pressing a hand on your chest, you tried to steady your heart.
«Kid?»
Again, no answer.
Taking a deep breath, you started to walk around him, making sure to get in his sight as soon as possible.
«Will you allow me to check your wounds?» you asked.
He clenched his fists.
«Get. The fuck. Out.»
His voice was so cold and sharp it cut you.
Now that you were closer, though, you noticed how his injuries were deep and dirty.
He was still covered in red, yellow eyes glowing in the dark and, god, those eyes.
They were fixed in the void.
"Right now it's like he doesn't even see what's around him"
Against any common sense, you took a few more steps.
«Kid, listen to me. You have to come back to reality and–»
That was a huge mistake.
You knew that, after all. Your rational part knew that.
It was the other part, the part you always refused to acknowledge, that didn't want to accept it.
But, this time, you should have listened.
Kid's flesh hand snapped at you, aiming directly at your neck.
Before you could understand what was going on, you were pressed against the wall, feet lifted from the floor, throat caught in his grip.
«K-Kid...!» you choked.
That was the last word you were able to let out.
His steel grip grew tighter and tighter.
You grimaced and squirmed, nails digging in his skin, desperately trying to loosen it.
You blinked, watery eyes finding his.
If his hand wasn't enough to choke you, his gaze was.
His amber eyes were totally blind and filled with fury, bared teeth grit in rage, blurred stains in a lake of blood.
You shut your lids at the horrible sensation of the walls of your trachea coming in contact with each other.
Oxygen started to lack.
Your legs were kicking the air around.
You coughed and it made it worse, because the blood couldn't flow anymore through your neck.
You forced your eyes open with an impossible effort.
Stains of light were exploding on the perimeter of your sight, and the rest was indistinct in the darkness.
But his demonic gaze was still there, blazing in front of you.
He wasn't going to stop.
It felt like your head was going to explode, and being unable to breathe was becoming unbearable.
He will kill me.
I'm dying.
Before panic could overcome you, a last lucid thought flashed in your mind.
Acting against every instinct, your hands released his wrist and you stretched your arms.
You had no time left.
Your shaking fingers lightly brushed his distorted face.
«Come... back.»
You spitted the last words you could build in your mouth, and that was it.
Your arms dropped.
But a glimpse of realization suddenly sparkled in his eyes.
In a second, he let you go, retracting his hand like he was touching fire.
You fell on your four, spitting and coughing, ragged wheezes coming in and out your throat.
The release was almost as painful as the grip, with the blood flowing down your neck all of a sudden and everything inside burning like hell.
Your face was soaked in tears and you couldn't really see anything.
«GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!» Kid roared, metallic hand hitting the wall with a punch, breaking through it.
You jumped in your miserable condition, hands wiggling around till it miraculously grabbed the doorknob.
You pulled the door open, rolling out in the aisle, still gagging.
He slammed it behind you.
«[Y/N]!»
You crouched down, hands restless in your hair, unable to stop weeping.
Light and darkness were mixing up in your mind, you weren't able to tell where you were, let alone stand up.
«[Y/n]!»
That voice again.
It was Killer's.
You felt hands grabbing your arms, lifting you in a kneeling position.
«Oh, fuck.»
It hurt. Everything hurt.
«What happened?»
Another voice approached, it sounded like Heat's.
«[Y/n], what did you do? I fucking told you! Why didn't you listen? Why don't you ever listen?!»
He shook you, and your hands snapped on your mouth, streams of tears running all over your face.
«I'm sorry. I'm sorry.»
The words came out as a crinkled whistle.
Was that even your voice?
«You think you know him better than me?!»
«I'm sorry.»
«Killer.»
The Massacre Soldier stopped at Heat's quiet call.
«Look at her throat.»
«We have to bring her to the doctor.»
Killer scooped you up and you clenched at his shirt, burying your face in his chest.
«Stupid, stupid girl.» he sighed.
His voice was softer now though.
He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and headed to the infirmary.
You heard the door cracking open and Heat explaining the situation.
«Alright, put her there and leave, I'll take care of her.»
Killer gently let you down on a mattress.
You still couldn't focus on his mask.
His fingers moved a lock hair away from your sticky face.
«Please, listen to me next time. We just lost a nakama. We cannot lose another one.» he whispered, before leaving the room.