21 days... I know. I'm a bitch.
I was busy with school and all, but hey! at least I'm here now. If you don't remember where we left off, I suggest you go back and refresh.
I know a lot of you guys are anxious to see more emotional growth between Carson and Bree but don't worry we're getting there!
If you hadn't noticed... they're kind of broken.
We had kissed.
His lips had touched my lips.
I had tasted Carson Parker.
I acted like Carson was some sort of untouchable piece of cake, the cake everyone wanted but couldn't have. The cake that was extremely rude and arrogant, the cake that yelled at me whenever I made stupid TV references. The cake was sweet yet bitter, confusing yet not, extremely good looking yet... nope...
Still extremely good looking.
I was happy when I woke up this morning, I was so happy I could have started singing to the birds and forest animals like Snow White. I was tired and hungry, I probably had more consecutive mosquito bites then there are USA representatives, my back was sore from the hard dirt floor, I had a random red spot on my lower armpit that came out of no where, and I was surrounded by morons.
But I was happy.
"Hey Princess, help me tie this?" Mickey called, he was hunched over his sleeping bag like a frog and looked deep in concentration to tie the strings around it.
"Here, try this." I said pinching the ends of the sleeping bag together and stretching it out so he could press down and tie it.
"Thanks munchkin. Are you sad about leaving?" He crouched down beside me and put his hands on his hips. I eyed him while thinking of an answer.
Mickey was very attractive, his cutting jawline and muscled arms only complimented his beautiful face. I mean all the boys were good looking, whether it was from Austin's slick hair to Sebastian's symmetrical nose. And obviously Carson was the poster boy for it all, the way his hair fell in front of his face when he played soccer, his ripped abs and the dimples he gets when he smiles really hard.
How did four greek gods become my best friends? Why did they even like hanging out with me?
"You think I'm sad about leaving?" I cocked my eyebrow at him before bellowing a laugh that made me sound like Santa Claus after skipping a bad kid. "This was like the trip of hell, I feel like I'm gonna need a therapist after this."
"This did kind of suck huh?" He laughed and raked through his hair. "At least you got a break from being in a cabin with 5 other girls."
"Actually... I kind of my miss my girls, Abby likes to talk to me about the Harry Potter series and Ellie always gives me whatever's left of her potato chips." He laughed at my words before patting my back and standing up.
I shot my head up at the sound of a familiar sarcastic voice nearing us, "Time to go back to camp, how fun!"
"Of course you would like it better here, you're like this big ray of jellybeans and kittens, it's awful." Mickey scoffed at him before heading over to put the sleeping bag in the van.
"He's just mad that he has dick twitches in his sleep." Austin rolled his eyes and I laughed in response.
"Mickey has all sorts of problems, don't go to hard on him."
"By the way, Carson was looking for you earlier, he seemed pretty eager to tell you something." Austin raised his eyebrows at me and my face contorted.
After last night's kiss me and Carson spent another three hours talking, we spent most of it arguing about who was the better spider-man. And we had a small talk about our families, we didn't go too in depth, and he didn't pressure me to say anything I wasn't comfortable with.
Which made me like him even more.
There was still the little side of me that was scared beyond belief, the side that didn't want it to just be a kiss. The side that wanted him to kiss me goodnight more than anything, the side that wanted more than anything to tell him everything. To make him understand why I have a barrier surrounding me.
But there wasn't a goodnight kiss.
And once again I was left in the dark.
Who knows if the kiss meant anything to him, who knows if he wasn't just doing it to get back at Hilary.
But Carson wouldn't do that to me, he wouldn't.
"Where is he?"
"I'm not his mother, I don't keep up with his whereabouts! Besides I have bigger problems on my hands Bree, I have to get ready to go back to that steaming hellhole of prepubescent children and prepare them all for that god awful field trip where I will have to look after them for two days straight without a break." Austin snapped and I threw my hands up in surrender.
"Okay okay jeez!"
"Ugh... sorry." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. "I just don't think I can handle anymore hormonal 15 year olds, I already have to deal with Mickey daily."
"Oh come on, you love Mickey." I said hesitantly wrapping my arms around him slowly, in fear he would blow up again.
"Yeah... yeah I do." He whispered into my hair.
"The field trip isn't for a while, but I get what you mean. Camp is going by so fast, before you know it family day will come around and then the last day..."
"Don't say that!" He squeezed me and I felt the air being let out of me like a squishy. "I'm just gonna have to pack you in my bags and take you with me."
"I mean you guys are lucky though, you all live by each other and go to the same school. Meanwhile me and Jackson live 3 or 4 hours away from you guys." My voice cracked thinking about not seeing these stupid imbeciles everyday.
"Bree we will obviously still talk to you, we love hanging out with you. Anyway, that's not for a while so let's not dwell on it, don't live in the past or the future. Let's focus on the now." He gave my chin a little squeeze before walking over to fold the chairs.
Let's focus on the now. It rang throughout my head like a bullhorn.
I scratched my head and started walking towards the van in hopes that I could just sit and wait for everyone around me to be done, maybe clear my thoughts and count the trees. I needed some time to myself to reflect, I've had so much anxiety in the past two days and then there's the Carson problem... and the Hilary problem... and the does he even like me problem.
And then I got pulled to this side.
"Oompfh." The sound came through my mouth as the person put their hand over my mouth and continued to drag me deeper into the forest.
I should probably scream.
"Hewp mw!" My words came out muffled by my kidnappers hands. Once we had finally made it behind one of the big rocks I had been turned around to face a flustered Carson.
"What the fuck!" I screamed before repeatedly hitting his chest.
"Ow... OW! Bree!" He grabbed hold of my wrists and I closed my eyes trying to regain my stolen air.
The amount of close counter heart attacks I've had while at camp is uncountable.
"Why would you do that!"
"I really need to talk to you." He chewed his cheek which made me gaze at him in amazement, wondering how I'd never noticed him do it before.
Bree don't stare at him you look crazy.
"What exactly was so important that you had to physically kidnap me and scare the living shit out of me?"
"Well about that..." The look of nervousness in his eyes made my stomach churn up. "Look Bree.."
Carson wasn't the type to be nervous, I mean he isn't the type for anything really, I've come to learn that...
But he still isn't the type to be nervous.
This was going to be bad, really horrifyingly tremendously bad.
"What?"
"Bree I have to tell you before you hear it from somebody else." He stared dead into my soul, my eyes burning at the intensity.
"S-someone's going to tell me what?"
"God Bree..." He backed off of me and put his head in his hands, taking slow ragged breaths like he'd been running "I don't know what happened, one minute we were just talking and the next, I was... now I'm..."
"Carson you're kind of scaring me right now..."
"Before I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you have to promise me you won't get mad." I squinted down at him and his pleading face.
"But you haven't even told me yet."
"Just promise me you won't get mad, I can't have you mad at me. I finally had the balls to... we just made..." I stared up at him with my mouth agape, pure confusement at his words.
He looked so young right now.
He was worried and I didn't understand
why, I stared at him trying to piece together his rambles.
"Bree last night- "
"Attention everyone!" The voice of the devil spoke behind us, I stared at Carson before turning to face Hilary standing by the van, a group of counselors surrounding her.
"Carson come here!" She yelled, glancing between Carson and I.
I looked over at Carson, then stared back at Hilary, Carson... Hilary... Carson... Hilary...
Oh no.
"We've decided since you're all our close friends we can tell you..." She grabbed Carson's hand tugging him to her side. "Do you want to tell them?"
"Well... I- " He said staring at her, his face was no longer worried, like for some reason looking at her made all of his worries go away.
"Carson and I are officially dating!"
And suddenly I stopped breathing.
I bit my lip, trying my absolute best not to show any sign of emotions. The rest of the counselors stood in shock at the newly found couple standing before them. Of course it was her, it's always been her. The second time I've met Carson he was coming back from Hilary's cabin, he never let me talk bad about her... he never...
He cares about her.
"Bree why do you talk about Hilary that way?"
"Bree what's your problem with Hilary?"
I'm so utterly stupid.
"Why the fuck would we care?" Sebastian said breaking the deafening silence.
"Ugh Sebastian you're so crude, I'm so happy for you Hilary!" One of the girls yelled, hugging Hilary as they jumped up and down.
"They're such a cute couple, much better than him and that girl Bree in my opinion... she was way out of his league." I heard one of the girls whisper to her friend.
For the first time I believed her, why would a guy like Carson like me? Mister "can have any girl he wants." Why did I think I was so special? Why did I think I was different than the other girls he fucks around with?
"Is this conversation done? Are we done with this? Because I would really like to bring the van around closer and start packing things up." Jackson said, pointing to the sleeping bags under his arms.
"Fine." Hilary huffed, obviously unsatisfied with everyone's reactions. "I'll see you in the van, you're going to sit by me right?"
Carson nodded, she kissed his cheek and walked off with the rest of the counselors. Everyone moving on with their lives while I stayed stuck in place, physically unable to move.
I felt like my heart had just been broken.
"Bree..."
Just walk away Bree, you don't need him to explain why you aren't good enough.
But I couldn't move, all I could do was turn around so I was no longer facing him.
I slowly put one foot in front of the other, picking up the pace until I was practically speed walking away from him.
"Bree! Bree stop!" I felt an arm latch onto my right arm and I froze in my space, I tore my arm away from him and turned around to face him.
Don't cry, don't cry over him.
"Let me explain okay, this mo- "
I was done with explanations.
"You don't need to explain anything to me Carson." I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes.
"Yes I do, Bree look- "
"No you don't Carson, everything makes perfect sense now." I turned away from him and walked the other direction only for him to yell back at me.
"Can you stop being so hot headed for once and listen to me!"
I stopped in my tracks, biting my lip to hide my emotion. "Look I don't know what you thought that kiss was Carson, but I think you must have misunderstood. You don't owe me an explanation I get it, you don't like to be tied down to one girl, that's just the kind of guy you are. You know, except for Hilary apparently... it doesn't matt-"
"Is that what you think of me?" He said, so loud and clear that it made me tense up on the spot.
We stood in silence for a moment, sadness and anger rolling off my entire body. "That's what everyone thinks of you Carson."
Silence.
"I didn't ask you what everyone thinks of me, I asked you if that's what you think of me."
"Can we just talk later or something? I'm done talking right now, especially about this topic." I turned around for the billionth time and started walking again.
"You can't just walk away when something is bothering you Bree."
Why is he being even more of an asshole than he usually is? Is he trying to make me break down and cry?
"Bothered? You think I'm bothered by this? I don't care who you date, I don't care if it's Hilary, a trash can, or a dog! Or are all of those the same thing?"
"You don't have to talk to me, but don't lie to yourself." He raised his voice and took a step closer to me.
If blood could boil, it would be mine.
"I don't care! Do I have to spell it out? Tattoo it on my forehead? I'm done with these stupid little games alright, go makeout with Hilary or go fuck a soccer ball. Just leave me alone Shane!"
"What? Shane?"
Oh my god.
"Bree who's Shane?"
Shane had destroyed me, kicked me off the swing set, stepped on me a million times, treated me like dog shit and made me feel like it too.
Carson had rebuilt me just to break me down again.
I can't do it anymore, I was stupid enough to let another guy into my life... it was my fault.
I was stupid enough to become attached.
"Cmon guys! Are you getting in or staying here?" Johnny yelled from the van, as one by one people were coming in
"Look Carson, I don't think we should hang out anymore... I think it's best if we just keep our distance." I couldn't look him the eyes, I couldn't let him see as vulnerable as I was.
"Bree you don't mean that..." His voice lowered and I could almost hear the hurt in his voice.
But then again that might of just been my hurt.
"I do, I really do."
5 seconds went by... 7 seconds... 12 seconds... 16 seconds...
"Fine." He said, I could feel him getting farther and farther away from me. "I won't bother you anymore."
Then he walked away.
I took a moment, breathing in and out.
"Hey where were you?" Jackson said as I climbed in right next to him on the van, I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything.
I just smiled and shook my head.
I placed my earphones in and pressed play on my Ipod, the only technology I had left this summer. My only break from the outside world.
I watched as Carson sat next to Hilary, she immediately leaned into him and he did nothing about it.
Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
I rested my head on Jackson's shoulder, he was to busy talking to his friends behind him to mind. I listened to music, breaking my gaze off Carson and directing my attention to the zooming trees passing by as we made our way back to camp.
I recomposed myself fast.
But not fast enough that I could save the single tear from falling down my cheek.
Welp.
How do you feel about this chapter? Do you want to know what happens next? Who's your favorite character so far?
voting and commenting is appreciated<3