"Yoongi if you don't move I'm going to break your arm."
I was at a stand still, facing Yoongi, who was standing defiantly in front of my bedroom door, not letting me leave.
"You should let him rest," Yoongi says lamely. There was more of a reason why he wouldn't let me pass, that much I knew.
"Hey what's taking so long?" Jimin jogs up behind Yoongi. He looks from him, to me and then back to him, very confused. "What's happening?"
"Yoongi won't let me see Taehyung," I glare at him.
"Maybe he doesn't want to see you right now," He says coldly. What the fuck?
"He doesn't?" Jimin scratches the back of his head. "I thought he asked for her." Yoongi glares at Jimin, clearly not happy he appeared. I place my hands on my hips and look at Yoongi expectantly.
"You done now?" I click my tongue, clearly done with this stand off.
"I dont think it's a good idea," Yoongi mumbles. "I know that look," he looks me in the eyes, sincerity in his own. "You should wait."
"That look?" I scoff. "There is no look," I shake my head. "Do you see a look?" I look at Jungkook, who's been quiet the whole time. He hastily shakes his head, avoiding my eyes.
"Ara just listen-"
"No you listen," I cut him off, done with his games. "I understand that something is going on with you when it comes to me but I'm not in the mood for it," I step closer to him. "One minute you're telling me not to go and the next you're being a complete asshole. So which one is real? Huh?" I poke his chest, staring him right in the eye. Yoongis face doesn't change, he just looks at me emotionlessly, hiding it all.
"Just let her go," Jungkook speaks. "He wanted to see her." The edge in Jungkook's voice is obvious, but I don't have time to delve into that. I push on Yoongi's chest and he moves aside, the same stone faced look plastered on his face. I brush past him, shaking my head as I do.
He really was a mystery.
"I'll take you," Jimin smiles, holding out his arm for me. I smile back at him and take his arm, letting him lead me. He makes bad jokes to cheer me up, clearly feeling the tension after the small incident with Yoongi. I let myself laugh and calm down a little, but Yoongi isn't what's making me tense now, it's Taehyung.
I didn't even know what I was going to say to him. Yes, Namjoon has talked to me about blaming myself but that didn't change my mind much. I saw his point of view but I was stuck in my own. And I didn't know what Taehyung's was yet.
"He's in there," Jimin stops in front of the infirmary door. "Before you go in, let me just say something, and don't get mad." I raise an eyebrow at him but nod. "I know what Yoongi was talking about, you have a look in your eyes, and I just want to tell you to make sure it's what you really want."
"Jimin you're crazy," I chuckle. "I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm fine." He doesn't look convinced but he doesn't press the matter anymore, giving me a small smile before leaving me outside the door.
When I push open the door and slowly walk into the room it's silent. I assume he's sleeping, I would be after what he'd been through. Only he wasn't sleeping, he was sitting up, staring at the door, as if expecting me.
"Ara," his voice sounds damaged and hoarse, and understandably so. But it still makes me cringe to hear it, knowing I indirectly caused it.
"Hey," I say softly, slowly making my way over to him. I stop a few feet away from him though, because as I kept walking, he kept looking worse. I could see his bruised eye and swollen lip, the blood soaked bandages on his side and chest, and the pain evident in his eyes. It was too much.
"How are you?" Taehyung asks. I want to break down then. How am I? Shouldn't I be asking him? But here I stood frozen, a million thoughts running through my head. Only then did I understand what Yoongi and Jimin were talking about.
"I'm fine," I clear my throat. "How are you?" I take one step closer, but still keeping my distance.
"I've been better," He chuckles, gesturing to his wounds. "But Jin and Hoseok saved me," He sighs. "You saved me."
"I didn't-"
"You stopped a lot of the bleeding Ara, I would be dead if you hadn't been there," He cuts me off. His gaze is so intense I have to look away, this was all too much right now. "Thank you," He smiles.
"Please don't thank me," I laugh bitterly, my emotions getting the better of me. "I caused this, you shouldn't be thanking me."
"You didn't cause this," Taehyung looks at me like I'm crazy. "What are you talking about?"
"You," I mumble. "You being here, it's my fault," I sniffle. "If you weren't with me my father wouldn't have targeted you, and you would be okay."
"Ara I'm okay now-"
"That's not enough!" I exclaim, silencing the room. I didn't mean to snap but I did, and now I felt like an asshole. "It's not enough for you to be fine now, I want you to always be fine, to always be safe....and you can't do that with me," My voice becomes breathy and unsure as a realization washes over me.
"Ara," Taehyung's tone is urgent, and it makes me look deep into his eyes, now welling with tears. "Don't do this."
"What about next time?" I ask. "What about when he takes you and tortures you again? Or even kills you? You should've been dead after what you've been through but you're not. You can't cheat death again and again it just won't-"
"Ara I decided to be with you!" He lets out a frustrated sigh. "I know what comes with it now, and I accept that-"
"I don't!" I yell. "I don't accept the fact that you could die at any minute at the hands of my family. I don't accept the fact that you're okay with this for some twisted reason, I just don't."
"It's not twisted," Taehyung says quietly. "It's because I love you."
My heart breaks into a million pieces when he says this. The truth in his voice is evident, he means it. He was willing to risk his life to be with me, he was okay with the constant danger. But I wasn't okay with it. He may be blinded by love so much that he's willing to die, but I'm blinded by it enough to save him.
"I love you too," I stifle a sob. Hating the words that would come out of my mouth next.
"That's why I'm letting you go."
"What?" Taehyung's eyes widen. "Ara please-"
"You don't get it Taehyung," I cut him off, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I tried to save you before when I was going to my father, but you wouldn't let me, and you almost died," I wipe away a fallen tear. "But this time I can save you, and you can't stop me."
"Ara please," Taehyung is crying now. "I love you."
"I'll always love you," I cry. "But I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
"Aren't you losing me? Right now?" He looks at me, pain evident on his face. I want to crumble and say I'll stay with him but I hold my ground.
"I'd rather have you hate me and be alive, than love me and be dead," I give him a sad smile. "I have to go." I start to back up, never taking my eyes off of Taehyung.
"Please don't go," Taehyung says, barely above a whisper. His eyes were red and shoulders slumped, he looked defeated. I wanted nothing more than to run over to him and wrap my arms around his frame, telling him it'll be okay. But I knew I couldn't.
When I reached the door I gave Taehyung one last forlorn look. He wasn't look at me anymore, but looking down at his lap, unmoving. My heart broke a little more at the sight.
It took everything I had inside me not to run to him, and every bit of my will power to open the door, and walk away.
-
So I'm back....
Probably weren't expecting this kind of return.....
Don't kill me.
I loved Ara And Taehyung but this book does have more love interests and places to go so......I'm sorry Taehyung and Ara shippers
I'm not saying they're over forever but obviously right now...yeah....
Also, off topic but I wanna just say I think it's really dumb people are blaming Hyuna for revealing her relationship with E'dawn and saying she's ruined his and all of pentagons career like wtf?? And the people who returned tickets and shit make me so mad like, grow up, you're not gonna marry your idol. People should just support them, they seem so happy together.
Anyway that was my rant.
Also thank you so much for not even 10k but 11K! Like wow, you're all amazing and I love you
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