(Eren's P.O.V.)
I slowly open my eyes to the bright room and blink a few times letting them adjust to the sunlight entering through the window. Laying on my left side, I had my arm stretched out, hanging off the edge. My head pounded like a drum from the intense hangover, my mind was fuzzy. I notice empty alcohol bottles on the floor that just confuses me more.
What happened last night? I can't remember anything! Wait I don't have a window in my room!
I sit up quickly but, "Ngh..s-shit." Pain shot through my lower back and hips, adding to my suffering. I grunted at the feeling and held a hand to my back. The thin sheets that covered me, fell low and I realize I was naked. I look to the floor to my left and see clothes scattered around.
Oh my god....whose bed am I in?
I slowly look over my shoulder and just like that.....everything....changed.
I put a hand over my mouth as the scenario becomes clear. Levi laid next to me asleep and naked as well. The sheets slumped down to his hips as he laid on his chest.
No... Oh God! Did we.......? No, I can't think about that now! I have to get out of here before he wakes up!
I carefully get out from under the white sheets and swing my legs off the bed. Once I finally find my underwear, I pull them on along with my pants. I then hear movement from the bed. Levi shifted in his sleep and I grab what I believed to be my inside-out shirt, not bothering to put it on. I grabbed my phone and quietly tiptoed out to the door, though I was in a lot of pain so it was more of a waddle. I was just about to leave when something inside me made me hesitate.
I took one final glance at Levi. He looked peaceful. His usual scowl was absent in his relaxed features. He breathed quietly as his back rose up and down. His hair was messy as a few strands fell over his closed eyes. "I'm sorry." I whispered and silently closed the door behind me.
I attempt to sneak back into my place, considering it was about 5 in the morning, Hanji should be asleep. Still shirtless I close the door and step into the living room. Thank goodness she's not here. I turned to go to my room but am stopped as I pass the kitchen. "Ahem. Eren?"
"Hanji! Y-you scared me!" I jumped.
"What the hell happened to you?"
"I don't...I don't know what you're talking about." I attempt to act natural.
"Don't act coy with me. You come in here after being gone all night, shirtless, flustered, bed-head, and with a nice little hickey on your neck." She accused.
I instinctively raise my hands to cover my neck. Dammit, Levi!
"Um-hmm I-I..." I was unable to produce words as she raised an eyebrow. Suddenly she chuckled and gave me a mug of tea and I stirred it with the spoon.
"Hehe, Eren don't be embarrassed. But where did you go? You know after talking to Levi?" At the mention of his name my body jolted. The spoon I held landed on the wooden floor with a clink and I quickly picked it up. When I met her gaze again it was in complete shock. "........Eren... that's Levi's shirt."
I look down at the fabric and realize the childish space scene was not on this shirt but an emblem of wings. Completely frozen all I could do was gasp at the realization.
"Eren.... you didn't." Hanji hesitated, having the same epiphany as I was.
I was caught, there's no way I can get myself out of this. "I-it just happened... I think."
"You think?" She questioned.
"W-we got drunk....really drunk. I don't really remember much. Next thing I knew I woke up in his bed...."
"Oh sweetie... this is....I don't know." She comforted but with a sigh as she shook her head.
"I-I'm gonna go take a shower." I stumble to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I finally am able to see my reflection. My hair was a tangled mess, some still stuck to my forehead. Hanji was right a dark red mark stood out like a sore thumb on my throat. Surrounding that were lighter, less noticeable marks. I ran my fingers along them gazing at my swollen lips. I smack myself into reality and take the rest of my clothes off and step into the hot water.
I stand under the water as it fell on the back of my neck as I rested my forehead on the tiled wall. Now looking down I see a matching set of light blue bruises on each of my bony hips. At least all the cuts on my thighs have healed. "....Jesus." I mumble. This is gonna have repercussions and I'm not looking forward to the destined conversation coming my way.
I come out wearing a new pair of joggers after a well-needed cleaning to see Hanji sitting with her head in her hands on the couch.
"H-hey." I mumble as I sit down across from her.
She looks up at me with an expression of concern, "Eren, h-how did this happen?"
"I don-....I don't know. I just went over to check on him! His apartment was a mess and I found him drinking alone in his room. He refused to talk to me unless I drank with him so...I did. Then we were drunk and I guess the moment just happened...." Tears began to well up as it sunk in. "Everything is ruined! Nothing will be the same! I'm so sorry!" I ran to my room and flopped into bed.
A knock came soon after, "Eren! Please talk to me!"
"NO! Go away I just need space! Please!" I wailed. I hear her footsteps leave and I finally break down.
Levi and I....we... no I fucked up. I close my watery eyes as my memory of last night slowly returns. We were both drunk, caught up in the moment....but how did that moment start?........That doesn't matter now, everything is ruined. Our friendship! I shouldn't have drunk anything! He was hurt. He was vulnerable, sad, lonely and I was......just...there. It didn't mean anything to him. All he wanted was to feel something after Erwin hurt him so bad. It's my fault! I should have stopped it before it got that far. I was...... just a rebound! I was a stupid fucking child and was naive to even think he'd feel the same way.
I pull the covers over my head as I sob. The pillow storing every tear I shed within it.
DAMMIT! Levi I might be.....just maybe..... falling too far!
(Levi's P.O.V.)
Son of a bitch my head hurts like hell. Serves me right for drinking so much last night.
I open my eyes, I was laying on my face looking to the right of me. All I saw was my arm extended out to the empty space. I sit up and run my fingers through my tangled hair.
I realize I was naked under the thin sheets, then the liquor bottles around the room, then my clothes scattered on the floor.
The hell happened last night? The last thing I remember is Eren coming over and talking but he left right?
I put my joggers on and pick up my shirt- Wait this isn't mine! That's......Eren......
Suddenly last night flooded my mind and my stomach drops. "Shhhhhit!" I run out of my room towards the door in only joggers, holding Eren's dorky shirt in my trembling hands.
I bang on Hanji's door, "Glasses open up!"
The door finally flings open. Hanji stood there and after she looks me up and down she crosses her arms and leans against the door. "Hmm, this seems familiar. I'm getting some wicked deja vu right now." She sasses.
I was not in the mood for her jokes, I need to talk to Eren right now! Panting from the anxiety spiking I demand, "Where is he?"
"His room but you're only gonna make this worse, give him his time."
"No way I have to talk to him right now!" I said pushing past her.
"Levi!" She protested but I go straight to his room.
However, I stop in my tracks as I lift my fist to knock on his door. I hear the most heartbreaking sound. Eren he was crying by himself. I slowly open the door and quietly enter. He hid under the blankets so I could not see him but he also couldn't see me either.
From under the blankets, only the back of his head poked out as his face was pressed into the pillow. He sniffles a mumbled sentence, "Hanji please go away."
I set his shirt on the end of the bed and kneel down next to him but decide not to touch him. "Can I stay at least?" I ask.
His head pops out from its hiding spot but my expectations of him being surprised were terribly destroyed. His eyes were puffy as tears rained down his cheeks. His bloodshot eyes burned with anger yet sadness, "Get out!" He wept.
My breath hitches, "W-what? Eren we need to talk abo-"
"About last night? Yeah I'm already aware. You don't need to pity me." He snaps, finishing my sentence for me.
"Pity you? Why would I do that?" I asked, genuinely confused. Why is he so upset?
"Levi we had sex! Drunk sex! We weren't thinking straight! I should have stopped it before.... now our friendship is ruined and it's all my fault!" He cried as he put his head back in the pillow.
"I don't understand Eren! How is this your fault?"
"Because! I'm the one who took advantage of you!" What? "But I get it, you were lonely and hurt. I was just there." He thinks he's some rebound or something? He's completely mistaken!
"You're wrong Eren. It wasn-"
"I told you to not pity me goddammit! I was naive! To even think you thought about me that way! I. Understand."
I reach my hand out to touch his head, "Don't touch me!" He slaps my hand away. I'm left in a daze. Why does he think it's his fault? Does he not remember me telling him everything? About why Erwin cheated? About how I feel for him?
"Eren please listen to me." I plead.
"Go away...please." He says as his adolescent voice cracks.
"Levi, come on." Hanji says behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't want to leave him here alone. I wanted to crawl next to him and hold him tightly, telling him everything was going to be ok. But he won't let me. Not now. Eren it wasn't your fault. The blame is on me. I get up reluctantly and follow Hanji out. She closes the door and we walk to the living room.
"You really are a complete idiot aren't you?" She suddenly says.
"What?"
"Eren has feelings for you dumbass! He's had them for a while! You're so oblivious you couldn't even see it when he was talking back there! He thinks he was just some stupid rebound to you! He hated himself for liking you for months as he watched you and Erwin. It was destroying him! And this was the straw that broke the camel's back! He hates himself, he hates that he thought you felt something last night!"
I gasp at her words. The kid had feelings for me all along? Damn, I'm such an asshole. "So did you?" Hanji asks.
"Did I what?"
"Feel something last night? With him?" She interrogated.
"The truth is... I did. When Erwin accused me of falling for him I was blinded and just lied to myself, but he was right all along. I feel the same way. But I told him last night! He probably doesn't remember from the booze! I have to tell him!"
"You can tell him when he's calmed down." Hanji says and escorts me out.
Eren. Why didn't you tell me? Just how long were you suffering in silence? You aren't a rebound. Last night... I felt the same way you did! Why couldn't you see that?
My anger and regret rises as I enter my apartment once again. It was a complete mess. This only angered me more and I began to pick up the clutter. I picked up the clothes scattered on the floor. Once the living room was tidy I move to the kitchen. I throw away the beer bottles and as I went to exit I step on something sharp. "Fuck!"
I look down to see a broken glass, dammit that hurt like a bitch. But as my foot starts to bleed, I go into a rage. I punch the closest wall bruising my knuckles again. I drop the bag of bottles and a can rolls out of the plastic trash bag. Without any logic, I pick up the tin can and chuck it as hard as I could in a random direction. Suddenly.
I hear the sound of glass breaking, dammit now what do I have to pick up? I walk over to the direction the noise came from. On the floor laid the can and a picture frame facing downwards. I drop to my knees and pick it up. I turn it around and my heart sinks. Eren's goofy smile stuck out immediately.
It was a selfie of Eren, Hanji, and I at his graduation. Hanji held the camera with Eren in the middle and little ol' me in the back. Hanji and Eren had a teeth-filled smile and I chuckled a bit at their similarity as tears rise. I shake the broken glass from the frame and I notice something I hadn't seen before, nor realized it in the moment most likely. I wasn't exactly looking at the camera. It was a rare time I didn't have a scowl on my face. My eyes were slightly off, staring at the kid next to me, adoration in my eyes. I finally broke down as I held the frame to my chest.
Just how long have I felt about him? How long was I suffering without even knowing?
Determination grew inside me and I got up and went to my office. I took out my journal for notes and a pen. I began writing. Needless to say, after many frustrating hours of ripping pages out, restarting, crossing out, and rewriting, I finally finished. I went to bed that night after texting Eren to see if he was ok. I wasn't surprised he didn't respond though and I closed my eyes as one final memory comes back to me from last night.
(Flashback to the night before)
"Eren?" I asked in a low husky voice. He laid beside me still breathing heavy. He rolled on his side facing me. I lift the sheets up, covering his body. He naturally moves closer to me and I let him. Watching him fall asleep in my arms I realized how right Erwin was. I pushed a strand of hair behind his ear and took notice of every little thing he did. Every time he'd scrunch his eyebrows or his nose would twitch I became more lost in him. I lean my head down and lightly kiss his forehead. "...Good night brat."
Eren... I'm falling hard.
(End of Flashback)
The next morning I woke to frantic pounding on my door. I rush to see who it was, "Hanji? What's wrong?"
She had a look of horror as she held a small piece of scrap paper in her fingers. "It's Eren! H-he's gone! He went back home!"