Today is the 5 year anniversary of my parents' death. And it has been 3 years since I started cutting myself. I really want to die... But I'm too scared to kill myself. It's Saturday night, a normal 17 year old girl would be out with friends. Friends..... I don't have those. I've always been different and to be honest, I never really tried making them. It's too hard for me to talk to people. I could have many friends, my parents were rich. But I don't like those kind of 'friends'. I cry myself to sleep again, like always. I can't remember the last time I woke up without a tear-stained face.
Waking up, eating breakfast, watching TV to forget everything, doing some stuff on my phone, eating lunch, getting back to my phone, eating dinner, some cutting and then I cry myself to sleep. Just a normal weekend to me.
Shit, I've got school tomorrow! Ugh, why do I have to go there again? Nobody knows, nobody cares. I heard some rumors about a transfer student coming to our school, but I honestly don't care about that.
I wake up and do my morning routine. Aka just taking a shower, putting on a uniform and doing my hair. I don't wear make-up because I really don't like being all fake and shit, like most girls at my school who wear a whole cosmetic store on their face.
When I arrive at school I hear people whispering about me, but they do it every day so I kinda stopped caring. I walk to my classroom and take a seat behind my desk at the back of the class. I sit there on my own because guess what? Nobody wants to come close to me.
The teacher walks in.
"Hey, all of you shut up. We have a new student!!'
Yup, that's how our teacher talks to us. Of course he's saying it jokingly. He's pretty nice, but he never really helps students with their problems. I don't know if it's on purpose or because he doesn't know how to handle it, but it really sucks.
Some guy walks in, but I don't feel like looking at him. I'll just draw something. Hmm... what should I draw? I put my pencil on the paper and start doodling. The boy starts talking, his voice is nice, too nice. Should I look at him? Yeah, I'll look at him, I kinda wanna know what he looks like now. I look up and our eyes meet. Was looking at me just now? Oh, he's telling the class his name. Nope I don't care! I'm gonna ignore him! He will probably be some bully too... I look back at the notebook in front of me and randomly start drawing something.
As soon as I enter the classroom, some girl in the back catches my attention. She's drawing something. She looks lonely...
"Could you please introduce yourself?" The teacher asks.
"Oh um, yes sir," I reply, "Hi everyone!"
Somehow my attention is only focused on her. She lifts her head to look at me, our eyes meet for a split second. I quickly look away because I don't wanna seem like some creep. She looks down again, so naturally my eyes drift to her again. Awe she's blushing now... She really looks cute. Wait, why do I feel like this? Never mind it, I have to introduce myself.
"My name is Jeon Jungkook, I transferred here from Busan. I hope we can all get along." The teacher nods and tells me to take a seat. I walk over to the girl at the back of the class and sit next to her. I hear some other students whisper and I feel gazes of jealousy while sitting down next to her. But I don't really mind it. She's still drawing, not lifting her head. I wonder if she even noticed that I'm sitting next to her right now. I want to know what she's drawing, should I look? That's kind of a rude thing to do, but I can't help my curiosity. Wow, it's so pretty! The page she's drawing on is full of different kind of drawings. A very detailed dragon, a Yin Yang sign, a couple of amazingly realistic eyes and currently she's drawing a face. Wait a second... That's my face! Suddenly she looks up and turns the page over. Then the teacher starts the class.