Taehyung's POV
"TAEHYUNG! WHY AREN'T YOU AT COLLEGE?!" Namjoon erupted as he threw open my bedroom door.
"I wasn't in the mood today."
"Tae you can't just start taking days off, we haven't been here that long and we need to give a good impression. I want a fresh start here, no more mistakes or bringing attention to ourselves and you running around chasing after Y/N isn't helping."
I furrowed my brow, Jimin obviously told Namjoon about what happened. I still couldn't believe it myself, what was I thinking?! Truth was I wasn't thinking, all that crossed my mind was getting to her before she left for college wearing those ridiculous pants.
What the hell is wrong with me?! They're only pants for fuck sake, so what if she left the house wearing them? It's her body so she can do what she wants, so why did I feel the need to make such a spectacle of myself?
I threw my head back, watching the rotating fans on the ceiling above my bed. I hated this hold she had over me, I felt lost, like a part of me wasn't really me anymore.
"I didn't think." I finally spoke. "The thought of someone looking at her, appreciating and lusting after her made me sick to my stomach. I got so fucking possessive, I just ran, the wolf in me wouldn't even listen to my doubts or concerns. I wanted her so fucking badly, the smell....fuck the smell was intoxicating. It took all my will power to move away and leave the house." I grabbed a spare pillow from beside me, pushing it down over my crotch as Namjoon laughed.
"Fuck off hyung, it's not funny. The damn witch has some kind of spell over me and just the mere thought of her has me hard. I don't know what the hell this is but it's crazy, one minute I just want to fuck her senseless and the next I just want to hold her....love her....protect her. I hate this, I'm not even me anymore! It's like....it's like I just exist for her and it's messed up!"
Namjoon didn't say anything for the longest time, I knew he was thinking of what to say and how best to make me feel better.
"Taehyung it's normal for us, you know this. To be a wolf, to be part of a pack. It's the very nature of what we are, it's in our blood and more importantly it's in our souls Taehyung. I know you remember the code of our pack Taehyung, the three rules of our kind....
We run
We fight
We die....together."
I remember the code, of course I remember it, I just didn't understand why he was telling me this now.
"Hyung, what relevance does the code have to my current situation with Y/N?"
Namjoon pushed himself away from the wall and approached the side of my bed.
"Y/N is your mate Taehyung, you know this to be true as we all do. I know it frightens you, I know you feel lost and confused but it doesn't change the fact that she's the one for you. The longer you deny her, the longer you leave claiming and marking her....the weaker you become and if we lost you Taehyung.....it would destroy us as a pack." Namjoon sat down on the edge of my bed, brows knitted together with concern. "This pack makes sense, this pack works because we're all together....the seven of us and if we lost you...." I could see pain in those dark eyes, our leader, our Alpha rarely cracked because he needed to be our strength. "This pack wouldn't work or be as strong without you, we're seven parts of one big soul Taehyung and if even one part was taken away the rest would crumble."
I had such love and respect for my hyung, he wasn't just my Alpha, he was my brother and it dawned on me how selfish my actions had become.
"I'm scared hyung, I'm scared she'll leave me once she knows the truth and that she'll only see me as a monster. I'm scared of giving myself to her, then losing her. The way I feel is already so powerful, I know once I claim her....once I mark her the feeling will only get more intense and I don't know if I can deal with that." I swallowed the lump in my throat, I refused to get too emotional. "Fuck." I quickly sat up, clearing my throat and looking out the window to distract myself.
"Taehyung emotions don't make you less of a man, don't even try and hide the way you feel." Namjoon placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"What do I do hyung?" I croaked out, eyes staring at the tree line which lay just outside my bedroom window.
"You take things one step at a time, get to know her....become friends with her and things will take their course."
I gave a nod, he always knew just what to say.
"Taehyung how about a run? It'll take that weight off your shoulders."
My lips curved up at the corners, this was the perfect way to end my crazy day.
Moments later
Taehyung's POV
For me, there's something about shifting and running with my brother that soothes me to my soul. I listen to the sound our paws make as they hit the earthy terrain, allowing my sharp hearing to take over, allowing random birdsong and windy gusts to infuse my mind.
There's something about running through the woods, wild and free, in any weather, that invigorates me. To exert myself feels like freedom, there's pleasure in pushing myself to new levels. Yet to run slow can be a chance to savour the flow of the air the finer details of the trees, earth and birds. This is not the mantra to find the good in everything, not quite, for there are times of tragedy, but to enjoy what is good and to learn from the rest.
"You okay brother?" Namjoon asked me using our pack-link as we stood side by side overlooking the woods and our new home.
"Much better now hyung."
I wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, but I would make things right with Y/N.
Suddenly many other voices fill my head, we're no longer alone and I can't help but laugh to myself when five other wolves appear from the woods below and sprint up the hill.
"Hyung I told Jimin not to say anything about earlier."
"Shut up Jungkook! I'm just looking out for him! Also she changed her outfit by the way, she kept looking for you today. I think she missed you, I told her you got sick and she seemed concerned."
"Guys did you really have to wake me up for this, I was happy in my bed."
"Oh come on, this is so much better! You're only grumpy because you lost the race from the house, to be honest your punishment isn't even that bad."
"I'm not calling you my little ray of sunshine....ever."
"You lost the race! You can't back out of the punishment!"
"Guys stop arguing! Also, I made dinner so we should head back soon."
"Dinner can wait for a little while longer Jin, allow Taehyung to enjoy this.....he needs it."
Jin approached our Alpha, the two stood together as suddenly the youngest tackled me to the ground.
"Gotcha hyung." Jungkook laughed as we fought playfully.
Y/N's POV
I needed time alone so after finishing my lectures and quickly stopping at home to change and grab some food and my camera I headed to the woods, it was my sanctuary and perfect place to think over what the hell was going on with Taehyung.
I was upset he hadn't showed at college today, Jimin said he was sick and I suppose that made sense after the way he was acting earlier. I still couldn't stop thinking about that though, how good he looked and how my body wanted him so desperately despite his cold behaviour towards me ever since he arrived.
I needed to speak with him, I needed to know what was going on.
I was walking for almost thirty minutes, taking pictures and only really stopping to take sips of my water when something suddenly caught my eye.
On the crest of a hill were several silhouettes, wolfish. Two stand almost statue-like while the others tumble about, pulling one another over. When the foremost wolf howls they all stop, drawn to join in like they have been invited to a family feast. Together they fill the still air with their "singing." I guess that's their hymn, one song, no words, just pure joy.
I took one photo as they started to move back down the hill, noticing one had moved away from the pack my heart started to race.
Where did it go?
From a distance they were beautiful, captivating....but I wasn't keen on them getting much closer, they were wild animals after all.
There was the snapping of what sounded like a branch to my left, I moved quickly to discover the source only to see the seventh wolf. I'm surprisingly calm, heart steadying as the fear vanishes.
The wolf watches, eyes steady to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before twilight beckons the stars. I move closer yet stay quiet, allowing myself to take a quick picture.
He doesn't growl or give chase, he simply watches.
I don't know why, I can't explain or fathom it but for some reason as I'm heading back down the path to my car I don't feel afraid.
I feel....safe.