Chapter 23: The Fountain on Feral Street
[Mr Goering's office, Atenamal Regional High, 9:45 AM, The Story]
MR GOERING: (walking into his office) "What are you doing here?"
OSCAR: (following him in) "You told me to give you updates to the statement."
MR GOERING: (putting papers down on his desk) "Shouldn't you be in class?"
OSCAR: (closing the door behind him) "I told the teacher I need to use the bathroom."
MR GOERING: (sitting down) "You look tired. What time did you go to bed last night?"
OSCAR: "I don't think I slept. Can I sit?"
MR GOERING: "You must not have slept last night, if you're asking me permission to sit. Go ahead. What statement are we talking about?"
OSCAR: "The statement about me and Fender, and how we're just straight, platonic, non-romantic friends."
MR GOERING: "Ah. So you've taken my advice?"
OSCAR: "No! Shut up! Just - let me finish."
MR GOERING: "You're nervous."
OSCAR: "I'm not nervous."
MR GOERING: "You're jumpy and snappy. You're nervous. So is this why you're tired? Fender kept you up all night?"
OSCAR: "Goering - I just - I have to tell you the full story."
MR GOERING: "Does it involve typical teenage shenanigans?"
OSCAR: "Of course it does. Who do you think I am?"
MR GOERING: "The biggest virgin at Atenamal High."
OSCAR: "I think teachers are supposed to get placed on leave for saying stuff like that."
MR GOERING: "Oh, Oscar. I thought me and you were past formalities. Get on with your story."
(...)
OSCAR: (standing up and turning for the door) "I shouldn't - I should go. It's nothing important."
MR GOERING: "Sit down, Oscar. I have time, I have ears, and I have a wistful hope that you were up last night for good reasons. Sit."
(he sits)
OSCAR: "It's anti-climactic."
MR GOERING: "So are most things. Now, I don't have that much time, so you'd better start now."
OSCAR: "He was really upset about that article yesterday."
MR GOERING: (nodding) "The one about him and Abdul, and you and him. I remember."
OSCAR: "He started yelling 'fuck you! Fuck everyone!' in class so I brought him to the bathroom, and we were in a stall together. We started talking about what we look for in a partner. He said someone interesting. I said someone kind. He invited me to his house. I invited him to that fire hydrant across the street from the sex-trafficking Thai massage parlor. Of course, we went to the fire hydrant."
MR GOERING: "Last night?"
OSCAR: "This morning. Around five o'clock."
MR GOERING: "What were you doing at the fire hydrant across the street from the sex-trafficking Thai massage parlor at five in the morning? That's not a nice part of town, Oscar."
OSCAR: "You see, that was my point. Fender grew up between Regormal Hills and a condo in Turks and Caicos. I'm not saying I've spent endless amounts of time on the south side of town, but I'm far better acquainted with that place than he is. I just wanted to bring him out of his comfort zone. Force him out of his upper-upper-middle-class bedroom. Have him see what the world looks like at night from the perspective of a young, kidnapped Chinese girl being held hostage in an unsuspecting building for sex slavery."
MR GOERING: "I wouldn't be surprised if this story ends with Fender running away from you."
OSCAR: "The kid's so sheltered he'd end up asking a mafia member with face tattoos for directions to Regormal Hills."
MR GOERING: "So what were you two doing at a place frequented by mafia members at five this morning?"
OSCAR: "I was teaching him how to longboard."
MR GOERING: (deadpan) "At five in the morning. On Feral street"
OSCAR: "Well, that was the point! Even after everything that's happened to him, he has this stick up his ass when it comes to being perfectly well-prepared for school."
MR GOERING: "Let me guess. You gave him another stick up his ass to bribe him into joining your midnight crusade?"
OSCAR: (sits back in chair and looks done with Goering) (slow claps) "Ha. Ha. Ha. You really haven't been fired yet?"
MR GOERING: "You're the one who always criticizes the higher-ups. They just make a plethora of bad decisions, don't they? Anyways. Enough butt jokes. Let's get on with this story of yours."
...
FIVE HOURS EARLIER
[Fire hydrant across the street from the sex-trafficking Thai massage parlor, Across the Neighbourhood, 5:26 AM, Mafia sex]
(Oscar waits with his back against the fire hydrant, holding his longboard vertically against his leg)
[Enter Fender]
OSCAR: "I'm actually surprised you made it here in one piece.
FENDER: "I almost didn't. Some guy tried to sell me drugs two blocks ago. He threatened to call the cops on me because I refused him."
OSCAR: "This is an ironic part of town."
FENDER: "So. You're going to teach me how to longboard, in the dark, at night?"
OSCAR: "You seem to be better when you can't see where you're going."
FENDER: "Last time I fell on top of you. We both got road burn. I almost lost my board."
OSCAR: "Positive thoughts, Fender, positive thoughts. What happened to that school speaker pep?"
FENDER: "It died with my reputation."
OSCAR: "Positive thoughts! Get on your board. We're going a hundred metres down the street and back."
(Fender puts the board on the pavement and one foot on it)
OSCAR: "Remember. Your feet shouldn't be too wide apart. They should be sideways. Give a big push to start off with. And just go straight for now, don't try to slalom. Ready?"
FENDER: "What's - "
OSCAR: "Go!"
(Oscar fakes pushing off; he just stays where he is; meanwhile, Fender startles but doesn't do anything)
OSCAR: "What the fuck, Fender. I said go."
FENDER: "You didn't go either."
OSCAR: "That's because I have to wait for you to go first. Let's try again. One - two - three - Go!"
(...)
OSCAR: "Oh my God."
FENDER: "What! I'm scared. I want to see you do it first."
OSCAR: "It's flat ground!"
FENDER: "You go first. Show me how it's done."
OSCAR: (getting off his board) "Okay, but I'm gonna take a running start."
FENDER: "How does that work?"
OSCAR: "I start back here, run, and get on the board. Momentum. Speed. Adrenaline. My goal here is to impress you, Fender."
FENDER: "I thought your goal was to burst my bubble?"
OSCAR: (shrugs; starts running) "That too." (Instead of hopping on his board, he pushes Fender)
FENDER: "No!"
(Fender goes rolling down the street; he's wobbly; he wipes out on the curb; Oscar runs after the board)
OSCAR: "What the fuck was that, Fender!"
FENDER: (groaning) "I think I broke my back."
OSCAR: "And you broke my heart, too, with that technique." (holds his hand out for Fender to grab)
FENDER: "Maybe we should start slower."
(The next time, Oscar holds Fender's hand and guides him down the street; he does this a few times, back and forth, until Fender can do it on his own; forty minutes later they're skating together side-by-side on the same short stretch of road; (Fender still needs to bail every now and again))
[Grass bank beside the fire hydrant, Across the Neighbourhood, 6:10 AM, Getting Wet In Public]
(they're sitting on the grass bank, looking at the Thai massage parlor across the street)
FENDER: "What's up with you and Mr Goering?"
OSCAR: "He tops, I bottom. Sometimes it's the other way around. That's why he keeps a hemorrhoid pillow in the bottom drawer of his desk."
FENDER: (rolls his eyes) "You wish."
OSCAR: (shrugs) "He's a sexy man."
FENDER: "Really, though. You guys talk a lot. It's like you have this weird, sketchy father-son relationship."
OSCAR: "I prefer the term 'daddy-twink', but father-son works too." (laughs nervously; swallows uncomfortably) "He's a cool guy. He almost gets it. And he treats me like an equal. Like an idiotic, stupid, in-need-of-constant-nurturing equal."
FENDER: "What does he get that other teachers don't?"
OSCAR: "How to talk to a kid. He doesn't censor anything. And he doesn't give me that 'I'm the teacher, you're the student, these are our roles' bullshit. He's just a dude talking to a much younger, much dumber dude. He's also kind enough to put up with my constant crap."
FENDER: "So what's it like, having Basil and Mr Goering?"
OSCAR: "It's not much, but it's more than enough, you know? A lot of people tease me for not having any friends. Even my parents think it's something I'm doing. They give me suggestions on how to change myself. Wear cooler clothes, talk to more people, keep your ideas to yourself. I've heard it a thousand times. They don't get that I want it this way. I want Basil to be my best friend. I want Mr Goering in my corner. And that's about all I need. Two strong, kind people who're different from the rest of them."
FENDER: "I like your clothes."
OSCAR: "Thank you. I'm really feeling this skinny-jean-90s-sports-jacket-yellow-beanie combo. It just screams 'gay hipster'."
FENDER: "I think it screams personality. Not gay at all."
OSCAR: "Well, I didn't say it like it was a bad thing."
FENDER: "I know. Me neither. I just thought... you're tired of being called gay."
OSCAR: "Did Basil tell you that?"
FENDER: "She may have mentioned it."
OSCAR: (under his breath) "That little goblin."
FENDER: "I mean, it's not a bad thing. It's normal, right? So... it's okay to call yourself gay, even as a joke. But I guess for you... It's different. Because everyone calls you gay, and it's used against you a lot. That's what I thought, at least."
OSCAR: "You're right. But it's like how African-Americans started using the N-word as a big fuck-you to slave-owners. I'll use the words gay and faggot as a big fuck-you to everyone who thought calling me that was an insult."
FENDER: "You're not bothered by the gay jokes?"
OSCAR: "Of course I am. But - "
FENDER: "Why?"
OSCAR: "I'm not homophobic. It just gets excessive. Those rumours."
FENDER: "Don't all rumours have a bit of truth to them?"
(...)
OSCAR: "Going by that logic, you raping Emma is a bit true."
FENDER: "It is a bit true. It was a rape. But we were both raped, in a way."
OSCAR: (unable to help himself) "Mr Goering told me something a while ago. He said your dad... Your dad is 'concerned' that you're gay."
(...)
FENDER: "My dad is concerned about everything except how I'm doing."
OSCAR: "Why would he think you're gay?"
(Fender purses his lips)
(...)
(...)
(...)
(Fender faces Oscar with tears in his eyes)
FENDER: "You know, it gets really hard living with him. He makes these assumptions about you and they're always bad assumptions, in his eyes. And..."
OSCAR: "And what?"
FENDER: (struggling) "I.... When those rape accusations first came out, I didn't defend myself because.... I.... I thought that being a rapist was better than being gay. If people thought I raped a bunch of girls, at least they wouldn't think I was having sex with Oscar Glyde. And maybe word of this would reach dad and at least then he'd know that his son is into girls. That's what I thought. That's why I waited so long to say anything. Now look what happened." (puts his forehead in his hands)
OSCAR: "You didn't defend yourself because you'd rather be a rapist than be gay?"
FENDER: "That was what I thought. Because I was stupid, Oscar. I still am. But I was so stupid. Why didn't I just..." (helpless) "...do something better."
OSCAR: "There's no way you're going to blame the rape thing on yourself. Emma tried that too and it doesn't work, Fender."
FENDER: (pulling up grass in frustration; cheeks wet with tears) "I tried so hard to make everyone believe I'm straight. That's why I had sex with all those girls and I..." (cries harder, shaking his head) "I didn't like it. I didn't want to do that." (buries his head between his knees, sobbing)(resurfaces) "Sorry. I didn't mean to... I don't know why I'm telling you this." (tries to wipe away his tears)
OSCAR: "Are you gay, Fender?"
(Fender rubs his hands up and down his face)
FENDER: "Don't ask me that."
OSCAR: "I'm going to ask you it again."
FENDER: "Don't - "
OSCAR: "Fender Brail, are you a big, fucking homo?"
FENDER: (his entire face red and wet; he's struggling to talk) "I just.... Boys in skinny jeans and oversized windbreakers are just so hot, man."
(Oscar smiles; he hands his longboard to Fender)
FENDER: "Why?"
OSCAR: "That fire hydrant is a thousand years old and as loose as a prostitute on Labour Day."
FENDER: "What does your longboard have to do with it?"
OSCAR: "The longboard is your weapon, Fender. The fire hydrant is two things. One: it's your dad. Two: it's the version of you that needed a million masks to falsely prove to himself he enjoys beating his meat to lesbian porn."
FENDER: "Are you saying that I have to take your longboard and bust open that fire hydrant?"
OSCAR: "Precisely."
FENDER: "It's like, thirty-five degrees. We're going to freeze."
OSCAR: "Frodo, there's more important things to life than staying warm on a frigid winter's morning."
(Fender stands up and takes a few whopping swings at the fire hydrant with Oscar's longboard before water bursts from it in a fountain-like shower)
OSCAR: "YES, FENDER! YES!" (he walks down to the road, where the most water is spraying, and lays down on the pavement, getting super wet)
FENDER: "You're crazy, Oscar."
OSCAR: (looking up) "Are you - Are you avoiding the water?"
FENDER: (laughing) "Don't - Please - " (Oscar chases him and wraps him in a freezing, wet hug) "Stop!"
(Oscar drags Fender back to the fountaining fire hydrant; they get soaked together)
OSCAR: (bending down eye-level to the fire hydrant and giving it his middle finger) "FUCK YOU, FENDER'S DAD!"
(As the fire hydrant is spraying all over them and the sun is just starting to rise, Fender suddenly grabs Oscar by the arm; they come together in a kiss; the kiss drags them to the wet ground where Fender lets go of the longboard and lies on top of Oscar, kissing him deeply and intensely)
FENDER: (pulling back a couple inches and running a hand over his soaking hair; breathless and shivering) "It's freezing."
OSCAR: (promptly) "Yeah. Let's go."
...
[Mr Goering's office, Atenamal Regional High, 10:03 AM, Tough Nuts to Crack]
MR GOERING: "You call that anti-climactic!"
OSCAR: (burying his face in his arms on Goering's desk; extremely embarrassed and full of excitement) "Stoppppp."
MR GOERING: "Where'd you guys go after that?"
OSCAR: (still burying his face in his arms) "Home."
MR GOERING: "The same home?"
OSCAR: "Shut up, Mr Goering." (starts slinging his bag over his shoulder) "I regret telling you already. You're a terrible confidant."
MR GOERING: (smiling) "Oscar. Sit down. I'm happy this happened. It sounds like Fender has a huge crush on you."
OSCAR: (putting his face in his hands) "Stop."
MR GOERING: "So is he willing to be more himself from now on? Will you two begin... I don't know... dating?"
OSCAR: "I don't know. He's a little pussy so he'll probably just keep pretending he's this big-dick straight boy. And I'm not even gay, Goering. We won't start dating. We just kissed, that's all."
MR GOERING: (pointing a pencil at him) "You made out. With Fender on top of you, in the middle of the street, with water pouring on you."
OSCAR: (putting his feet on the chair and burying his face in his knees) "Stop embarrassing me."
MR GOERING: "I'll keep embarrassing you until I have to tell you off for PDA in the halls with Fender. And then I'll start humiliating you."
OSCAR: "Don't get your hopes up, Goering. Fender's a tough nut to crack."
MR GOERING: (contemplating) "You're probably a tougher one."