We sat at a table towards the back of the restaurant, away from most people where we could be loud and stuff.
We ordered and waited for our food all the while laughing and teasing Chenle about his awful movie.
I looked around at the group and thought about leaving them.
I would possibly never see their smiles again... I would never see them all in person again...
I had zoned out while thinking but was jolted my a sharp pain in my leg which was caused my Renjun, who sat opposite me, kicking my leg.
I looked up as he made a slight hinting movement by wiping his finger under his eyes and raising an eyebrow at me before looking away and laughing again, covering what he was doing.
I did what he had motioned for me to do and was rather surprised to feel my finger become moist from tears that had somehow escaped my eyes. I take it that it was from my pessimistic thoughts.
I guess I did understand what he was talking about in the park about zoning out and when you zone back in you're crying...
I looked over at him again, trying to get his attention and when I did I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged his shoulders and smiled which I returned.
Haechan wasn't looking directly at our hidden interaction but he must have seeing it out of the corner of his eye for he put his arm around me and pulled me close before looking at Renjun rather harshly and turning back to the boys.
Our food arrived not long after and we ate mostly in silence only broken when someone asked a question or in muffled words of appreciation for the food.
We didn't talk much and I longed for them to converse so I would have to prolong the time until I had to tell them.
When we finished eating, we sat and let our food go down and began talking again.
'Hey!' Haechan bent under the table and suddenly clutched his shin while looking at Renjun, who's cheeks were becoming a rosy colour as time passed, with a glare that could cut diamond.
'Sorry... My foot slipped.' He was stuttering and looking anywhere but at Haechan.
'Your foot doesn't just slip and kick me in the shin, what were you doing?'
'Nothing.'
'You two have been quite secretive today, I'm starting believe what you told me at the arcade wasn't true Mara.' Haechan turned to me as the conversation came to a hault and all eyes at the table were on Haechan, Renjun and I.
I looked at Haechan in disbelief then at Renjun who nodded and moved his hands in circular motions directed towards Haechan while raising an eyebrow.
I gave him a look that said "What? Shut up." Before turning back to Haechan and smiling.
'Mara just tell him.' Renjun whispered from across the table.
'Shut up Renjun please.' I kicked him under the table causing him to be the one to clutch his knee this time.
'Tell me what Mara. That you two are secretly together? Is that it?' He scoffed and turned away as Renjun and I spluttered an answer.
'No that's not it at all.'
'No. No way. I wouldn't do that.'
We both looked at each other and shook our heads furiously before turning back to face Haechan.
'Then what is it Mara?'
Oh god, here goes nothing...