"I'm only human,
and I crash and I break down.
Your words in my head, knives in my heart,
you build me up and then I fall apart.
'Cause I'm only human."
Human; Christina Perri
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*TW - suicide attempt*
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Ariana's POV:
Charles and Carola already left so I decided to clean up the house because I don't know what else I should do. It's amazing to have a home, but on the other hand, I'm bored here. Charles is out most of the time and Monaco changed over the past two years and I don't even remember where is what. I should tell him to give me a tour when he'll have time.
I was vacuuming the floor when I got a feeling like I just pee myself. I began to panic and quickly ran to the toilet.
"Oh my god," I gasped when I saw that my panties turned red.
I haven't got my period for 2 years, because I was too weak (which was good, because my hygiene was absolutely terrible). It's good to know that I'm finally kinda healthy (in the beginning I got big problems to get used to normal food, I was throwing up quite a lot), but there is one problem. I don't have pads. And I don't have money to buy them. And it's embarrassing for me to ask Charles to buy them for me. So I decided to look around the house and I was praying that I will find them. I was lucky that I found a packet in the bathroom wardrobe (same place where I found that comb). I wasn't bothered by the fact that Charles is single and has a things for women and grabbed one pad. Maybe a memory of his ex.
I frowned when I heard a bell. Who could it be? I answered the door to see a blonde girl standing there. I've never seen her before, so I guess she is there because of Charles.
"Hi! Do you need something?" I politely asked, but she gave me a frown. Sweet.
"Where is Charles?" she crossed her arms over her chest. I would appreciate a hello, but nevermind.
"He is not here. Who are you?" I did the same as her.
"I'm Penelope, his girlfriend. Who are YOU?" I slightly froze when I heard word girlfriend. Charles never mentioned a girlfriend.
"Ariana Andretti. I live here," I gave her a fake smile and she frowned even more.
"Never heard of you before. But anyway could you move so I can wait for my boyfriend inside?" She smiled arrogantly and I started to hate her even more. She didn't wait for my response and pushed me aside to go inside.
"Would you like something to drink?" My parents taught me that being polite is the best attribute you can have. Although you are talking with person you hate.
"No," she simply said and took her phone from her purse. Looks like that purse was really expensive, "How long have you been living here?" Penelope woke me up from my thoughts.
"Over a month," I said while I was cleaning kitchen units.
"And how did you get here?" I stopped my move. I can't tell her the truth.
Luckily at that moment, we heard keys. Penelope jumped from the couch and ran to the doors. I just rolled my eyes and stayed at my place.
Charles' POV:
I was really surprised when I saw Penelope standing in front of the door with a wide smile.
"Hey love!" she exclaimed happily and kissed me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked and put my bag on the floor. I also noticed Ariana in the kitchen, she had to let her in. It looks like she is annoyed that Penelope is here because she was ignoring us. I can imagine that Penelope wasn't really friendly to her.
"I can't visit my lovely boyfriend?" she innocently asked. I was about to say something when I saw pissed Ariana leaving the kitchen. I wanted to go after her and explain everything, but Penelope didn't let me go anywhere, "and also I need to talk with you."
"Penelope, why are you doing this? We are not dating anymore and you can't come to me whenever you want," I groaned and her smile disappered.
"I want you," she came closer to me and wrapped her hands over my neck, "and I miss you. I know I did a horrible mistake and I want to make it up to you. Please, give me a chance."
"You know it doesn't work," I put her hands away from my neck and she frowned even more.
"Is it because of her?" she snorted and took a step back.
Ariana's POV:
"Is it because of her?" I heard Penelope talking to Charles. I was standing on the stairs and eavesdropping their conversation. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. I want to know where's the truth.
"What are you talking about?" Charles sounded very confused and I was feeling the same. What should be because of me?"
"I know you still love me. You are trying to forget me so you found her as a distraction. But you know you can't replace me with a dirty bitch like her." There was a silence before Penelope spoke again, ,,is she better in bed than me?" How dares she to call me a bitch?
"Penelope, stop it, you are ridiculous. I haven't slept with her."
"But you have her here because you want to forget about me. And try to tell that I'm wrong." C'mon Charles, say something please, ,,tell me she is not a diversion." Nothing. Silence. It means that everything she said is true. And that's killing me.
"Honey, I still love you and I want you back. And I know you love me too. We can begin again and this time it will be better, ok? Just kick her out and we will live happily after ever." And that was a moment when I had enough. I don't care what he is gonna say next. I do not care anymore. I don't want to be here and he doesn't want me here too. I'm just a new toy he wants to play with. Of course, and I was stupid and I trusted him with my whole heart. Why am I still doing this?
I ran to my room and locked the door. I can take a lot, but I'm only human, not a machine.
I collapsed on the floor and started crying. When I finally thought that there's someone who cares about me a little, everything just fell down like a house of cards.
Charles' POV:
"Honey, I still love you and I want you back. We can begin again and this time it will be better, ok? Just kick her out and we will live happily after ever." Penelope sweetly said and came dangerously close to me.
"That's not gonna happen," I pushed her away and her eyes widened, "we are over, Penelope. I don't want you back into my life again. Go back to that guy you were smooching with when we were still a couple!"
"I told you that it was a mistake. Please, give me another chance," she was begging for mercy, but I'm not willing to give it to her. And talking shits about Ariana is not really helping her.
"I'm serious, we are over. And now just get out of my face," I opened the door for her. She was watching me with opened mouth.
"You don't mean it," she laughed, but I don't see anything funny here.
"Oh, you can be sure I mean it," I shrugged and her smile froze. She finally found out that I'm deadly serious.
"Everybody thinks that you are sweet and kind and everything. But you are just an asshole," she snorted and walked to the door, "enjoy your time with little Ariana. Before you will realize how big mistake you've made," she gave me last look before she disappeared from my sight. When she said her name I got a feeling that something is wrong. Where is actually Ariana? What if she heard everything? If yes, it must have hurt her. She must think I'm only using her...but that's not true! I need to see her.
Ariana's POV:
It's here again. A black cloud of depressions and suicidal thoughts is hanging above my head while I'm sitting leaned against the door with a razor in my hand. You are probably asking: WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO YOU?! I don't know! Ok? Just don't! Sometimes I lose my mind and want to do these things. But always someone upset the applecart or I change my mind.
My hand was shaking and my vision was blurred because I was crying really hard. I can't even see the blooody razor! Suddenly someone started to shake with the handle and knock on the door furiously.
"Ariana open the door!" I jerked when I heard Charles' scared voice. Not him again.
"Leave me alone!" I groaned and focused on getting the razor closer to my wrist. Just one move...
"I know you heard me and Penelope. I won't kick you out, I don't love her anymore!" I stopped for a moment. Nice try.
"Do you think I'll believe you? I was stupid to think that someone cares about me!" I yelled and put the razor on my skin.
"I CARE ABOUT YOU ARIANA! You are part of my family and I love my family more than everything in the world! Please, just put whatever you are holding down. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. I don't wanna lose you," he almost whispered the last part, but I heard everything. He wouldn't sound so frightened if he was just using me.
"You really mean it?" I asked, my voice cracking a little bit.
"Of course! Every single word. Please Ariana, open the door. I want to see that you are alright." I didn't hestitate and threw the razor away. It's not worth it. I stood up and slowly unlocked the door. Charles was standing there and had a terrified look in his eyes. I didn't say a word and hugged him tightly.
"I'm sorry," he hummed while he was caressing my hair. I didn't respond, I was just enjoying his warm embrace, "you are really important to me. I would never use you."
Whatever I said earlier, forget it. I believe him. I really do.