Peter's POV...
Even in my sleep, I can hear myself screaming. I sit up, my face soaked with tears. I look around my bedroom. This all felt so empty. Things were here, but I didn't have the one thing I wanted.
It's this way every night. I'll wake up, sweating and crying. Nightmare. Always the same. I'll be talking with her, just enjoying each other's company. Then I blink, and she's gone. But I hear her voice. She screams and tells me that this is my fault.
My head hurts so much. It feels like it might just explode if I fall back asleep one more time. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen. I slip on my shoes and walk up to the roof. When I get there, I see the beautiful night sky smiling back at me. I sit on the edge of the building and sigh.
Where is she now? Is she happy? Does she even remember me?
It's only been a month, but I'm still a mess. I loved her. I fucking loved her. It's like Passenger said, "If you love her, let her go." And I did. Now look at me. I can't sleep properly, I can't eat, and I can't even focus. The day after she left, I almost got myself killed. I thought that maybe if I died, I could go and see her in her world.
I stand and look at the ground far beneath me. Maybe I can see her again. I could jump right now. No one would stop me.
"Shit..." I mumble, my senses finally catching up with the rest of me. I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. The ground is too close. The worst I would do is break an ankle. But May? Oh, God. I couldn't do that to her. She's already lost so much. I can't leave her too.
I turn and walk back into the apartment building. When I open the door, May is already sitting on the couch, sipping a cup of coffee.
"You snuck out," she says. "Again."
"I-I'm sorry," I murmur.
"People are saying that Spider-Man retired or something," she chuckles. "But you're still sneaking out." She looks at me, eyes now glazed with tears. "I'm worried about you, Peter. I really am."
"May, I promise it's nothing. Just do--" I walk over to her.
"I can hear you screaming in your sleep. You won't eat or talk to me. I need you to open--"
"When I close my eyes, she's in my arms," I say softly. "The worst part is, I open them... And she isn't."
"...Peter."
"But I did this. I made her go away, and I've just now realized how much I needed her."
"She had a purpose here," May says, walking over to me. She gently places her hand on the side of my face. "Maybe that means the Universe needed her in her world and she'll be back later. But if she isn't, that just means the Universe let you spend your best days with her."
"I just want her back," I whimper. "I want to see her smile again. Hear her laugh. Feel her warmth. I want to listen to her talk about things I don't understand. I just want her back."
"If {Y/N} could see you right now," May starts. "She would want you to move on. Maybe not from her, not from the memories you shared. But from you. Move on from yourself. You have to sleep and eat. You have to take care of yourself, Peter." She pulls me into a tight hug.
"Yeah, you're right," I chuckle. "If she saw me now, she would freak out. Buy me ice cream and force me to watch Disney movies... How did you do it? With Uncle Ben?" For a moment, she tenses up, but then she relaxes, pulling out of the hug to look at me.
"I was so sad," she smiles softly. "It hurt so much. When your parents died, I felt the same pain, but I could share it with Ben. But when he died, I had no one to really talk to. I missed them so much, but I knew I had to pull through. For you."
"..." I just stare at her.
"I can't lose you," she whispers. "I need you to promise me that you'll take care of yourself. You won't get hurt. Not just for me, but for her too."
"Promise," I nod.
"You've got four hours to sleep. Go on now," she laughs, pushing me toward my room.
"Goodnight, May!" I chuckle, walking down the hall to my room.
"Oh! And take a shower tomorrow! You smell!" she calls. "Wouldn't want you to stink for your school trip right?"
A/N: I'm gonna be honest... I cried writing this. Also, I'm sorry this took so long. I'm always three chapters ahead, so I have a long one waiting for you. Love you <3