I slowly walk down the stairs. Im really nervous. Do i even want to know why my mom did that?
Paying someone to be my friend is just so unbelievable.
Its so cruel.
"Umm mom?" I ask as i walk into the kitchen.
She turns around with a smile. "Hello pumpkin!! Want a cookie!?"
I do want one but at the same time i should just get right to the point.
Eh screw it im hungry.
I reach out and grab one quickly taking a bite.
"Hun! Why haven't i seen Mags around lately? You have been gone alot, saying your with her but she never comes here!?"
Yeah every time i go to hang out with Jace and them i always say im with Mags because then i wont get the boy speech.
Y'know safety and all that awkward stuff.
She doesn't even know i have friends besides Mags.
All she knows is that i got stuck in a motel once with a stupid boy that had supper with us once and she thinks i haven't talked to him since.
"Well actually thats what i wanted to talk about..." I mumble looking down at my feet.
"Oh okay! Sweetie come come sit sit! We can gossip! Im really glad your opening up to me! Finally!" She laughs and claps her hands.
Oh gosh. She thinks this is ganna be a happy conversation. I kinda wish she was in a bad mood so that it would be easier to tell her.
Now i really just dont want to hurt her.
But i have to.
Because she hurt me.
"Mom." I say seriously so that she knows to be ready. "I heard something today. Mags told me something. I just want to know if its true."
Her smile is fading.
"What did she tell you?"
I clear my throat and say "she umm she said you paid her to be my friend. Then dad died and you couldn't afford it anymore."
Her eyes widen and she gets tears in her eyes "what!? Thats preposterous! I would never do such a thing!"
I can tell shes lying by the way her right eye twitches.
I keep staring at her waiting for her to crack.
.......
.......
"Okay okay i did! I thought i was doing it for your own good! I figured she would end up liking you once she got to know you!" She screams.
"How could you do that to me!? For my own good? Are you kidding me? Why couldn't you just let me make friends on my own!?"
"I didn't think you would make any and so i thought as long as you had one then your dad would ease up on you!" She admits.
Ha guess that theory didn't work.
"Congrats mom. It didn't work. I would have gotten use to not having any friends. I would rather have had none then to later realize, 10 years later that my so called best friend was paid to put up with me."
"Sweetie shes still your friend, once i couldn't afford it she never stopped being your friend! Which means she genuinely wants to be!" My mom tries but obviously she doesn't know what happened today.
"Mom. She humiliated me in front of everyone today. Why did you pick her anyway? Clearly she only acted nice around me."
"She did what? Why? I mean i picked her because I'm friends with her mom. She is pretty girly so we thought putting you two together would help you...."
"Help me? Wow mom you deserve mother of the year don't you. Who else did you pay along the way? Hmmm? Did you pay that boy in grade 6 to go to the school dance with me?"
"No he just needed a little push actually, i mean-
"You told him to go with me? Why cant you let me have my own life! I swear if you do this to Libby-
"No no i wont. She makes friends on her own." She says with a smile.
Once she sees my heart broken face she crumbles.
"No i didn't mean it like that! Look i thought i was helping you! Okay? Theres no way i would have done it if i knew you would find out!" She cries.
If she knew i would find out. Wow. Unfricken believable.
I hate her.
"Do you even hear yourself!? You paid someone to hang out with me. Do you realise that? Do you realise how much that hurts." A few tears leak down my face and my mom looks like she's going to cry too.
"Sweet heart i know we aren't close. I know you dont particularly like me. But i am your mother and i care about you. I wanted you to have a friend. Yes i had to bribe her. Yes i should have picked a better person, she was pretty sassy as a kid. But people make mistakes. If i could take it back i would. But i cant so just move on please!" A tear rolls down her cheek on the last sentence.
You know what she still hasn't said? Sorry. She hasn't even apologised for this. Not that shes ever said sorry for anything but i thought this time she would.
"You know what mom? I hate you. You did this for yourself. Not me. You did this so you could tell people i had friends. Hoping i would make more along the way since i had Mags. I think you stopped paying a year ago because you realised it was useless. Not because you couldn't afford it. Lets face it you have plenty of money. You wanted a perfect daughter. Im happy you have Libby to fulfil that." I then run up stairs into my room.
I quickly grab my backpack and pack a few clothes and my phone charger, along with face cleaner and a tooth brush.
I run back down stairs and head out my front door. I bump into Libby on the way.
"Oh hey princess." I say with a sad smile. I pick her up and she tightens her arm around me.
"Where are you goin?" She asks while sticking her thumb in her mouth.
"Just out for a few days. Don't worry alright mommy will still be right here for ya. I will be back before you know it!" I kiss the top of her head.
"But i dont want you to go!" She says and hugs me tighter.
"I dont want to leave you either." I say softly.
"I wuv you." She says in her cute toddler voice.
"I love you too! Forever and always we are sisters through thick and thin, no matter what." I say sticking my pinkie out.
"No matter what." She says and hooks her pinkie with mine in a promise.
I set her back down and wave as i walk down my drive way.
I have no idea where im going but i cant stay there with my so called mother.
I think im going to call her by her first name until i can forgive her.
I always thought my dad was the only problem. Turns out my mom was part of it too.
"Young lady get back here right now!" I hear her yell.
I turn around so i can see her.
"NO! I need time to think Carrie and i am not in the mood to be around you!" I yell back.
"I am your mother, you call me Mom! Not Carrie!" She screams.
I roll my eyes. "You didn't even apologize!!"
"I dont have to, i did it for you! You should be thanking me! I gave you everything!"
"Are you for serious!? Think back on how you've treated me! Remember how you paid someone to be my friend for your own benefit? Yeah thats what i though!" I yell and turn back around and continue my walk.
Maybe i could stay at darrens? Or Ash he would prob let me.... But i dont want to be a burden.
"You have no friends! Your friendless! What? You going to be homeless too!?" I hear her yell from a distance.
Ughhh i know deep deep deep deep down she loves me but... Sometimes i just cant handle it.
Why cant my life just be fabulous?
I want fabulous.
I start to hum the song from high school musical 2 to distract myself.
Normally i hate that song, im more into rock and stuff but it just fits what i want right now.
"I want faaaaabulllouuusss!! All things fabulous!" I accidentally sing out loud.
I laugh to myself and keep walking.
"Are you really singing high school musical? And quite badly might i add." I hear a deep familiar voice say.
"Maybe... If i was, how would you know what its from?" I ask with a smile.
"May have seen it once.."
I laugh at him and continue walking, apparently jace feels like walking with me.
"I heard." He mumbles.
"I figured. Yelling to each other outside is kinda asking for it." I say slightly chuckling.
"Where you you ganna stay?" He asks.
"Honestly, im not sure. I dont want to be a burden to you or the others so i dont know."
"You can stay with me at Darren's house? His parents aren't home much but they wouldn't care anyway." He offers.
"With you? But at Darrens house?" I ask?
"Well you wouldn't like my houses location, being right across the street and all. No way in hell im letting you stay with Darren alone since you have this whole reputation going on." He jokes.
I hit his shoulder "in my defense i would probably be the least likely of all girls in our school to hook up with one of you!" I say.
Im really glad i have Jace. I need a friend like him in times like this. I know im going to break down soon. Everything's going to hit me at once.
"Eh i dont know, your the only girl that we allow to talk to us so, i wouldn't rule it out."
I look at him disgusted and he quickly adds "but your not my type so, you can rule me out."
"Mhhhmmm so your gay too?"
"What?! No no umm no! I umm i like girls with dark brown hair, slight tanned skin and um breastiness?" His eyes widen "oh god i didnt.. Okay well this is ....okay. Umm shall we head to Darrens then?" His cheeks are tinged pink.
Aweeeeee
"Are you blushing?? Awee the big bad Jace is blushing!" I squeal and pinch his cheeks.
"No no im not blushing! I just... Im feeling a bit cold."
"Oh yeah cause it makes sense to get cold on a hot summers day." I say and smirk at him.
"Hey your not aloud to smirk! I am! Its my thing so." He says and we continue on like this until we reach our destination.
"You sure they wont mind us staying here?" I ask as we enter Darren's house.
"Yes don't worry! I stay here all the time!"
"But im a girl! What if-
"Beatrice chill. His parents wont care." Jace assures me.
Im still a bit unsure but i follow him into the kitchen anyway.
"Hey dude!" Darren cheers.
"Hey! Mind if we stay here for a while?" Jace asks as they do their man hug thing.
Darren looks to me "you need a place to stay?"
"Umm yeah, just for a few days!" I say.
"Well you are 100 percent welcome here at any time!" He says and then jace takes my back pack and exits the room.
"What a gentlemen!" Darren yells to him.
"Shut up!" I hear jace yell back.
I giggle and then hop up onto the counter.
This is going to be a very interesting few days.
Wow my life has changed so much since my senior year started.
I think its all for the better though. I now know who my true friends are. I now know the secret my mom has been keeping and i now have Jace.
Plus the other guys of course!
All i need to do is keep myself from breaking down.
Especially not at school.
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