(( I put this game in a format where you guys know who laid down the cards, but they don't. So when the name is in parentheses, the person isn't actually SAYING who laid it. That's just me telling you. I wanted to clear that up so nobody gets confused. Also, I'm going to assume that people know how offensive and potentially triggering Cards Against Humanity is. Please don't get butthurt about it.))
" This game is completely filthy." Allura grimaced as the cards were being dealt out.
" That's what makes it fun." Lance smirked.
" Exactly." Pidge had a very mischievous expression. " I get to be the card czar first." She cackled.
" I've never played this before." Shiro said, but his face sunk into a look of horror as he read over his cards. " Um. I think my cards are faulty." He coughed awkwardly.
" Trust me. They're not." Keith laughed.
" I've never played this either, should I be scared?" Shay asked while hesitantly scooping her cards off of the coffee table they'd all gathered around.
" Very." Pidge laughed like an evil villain from a superhero movie. " Now... let me do the honors." She turned over a black card from the stack.
" When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____."
" What kind of game is this?!" Shiro exclaimed, sounding like an appalled grandmother.
" I think your brother's about to have heart attack." Lance chuckled in Keith's ear as he leaned over to whisper to him.
" I wouldn't be surprised." Keith responded.
" It's like Apples To Apples for adults." Allura patted Shiro's shoulder.
" Can't we play something innocent?! Like Dungeons and Dragons?" Shiro asked, hoping that they wouldn't actually go through with this. Everyone ignored his plea.
" Hit me with your best shot." Pidge glanced around the table, proudly folding her arms. She was a boss at this game.
People were laying cards down soon enough, but Shiro and Shay were making cringeworthy faces in the process.
Pidge shuffled up the cards in the middle of the table before beginning to flip them over and read them.
" Let's just see." She smirked, reading the card again.
" When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____."
Women's suffrage (Shiro)
Crossdresser facials (Lance)
Harry Potter erotica (Allura)
Grandma's sexy photo albums (Hunk)
Sexy pillow fights (Shay)
Grandpa's ashes (Keith)
Dog crucifixion (Matt)
" Wow." Pidge burst out laughing. " I can already tell which one Shiro put down." She tossed the Women's suffrage card back at him and held up the Grandpa's ashes card. " This one wins."
" Cool." Keith said, reaching for the black card.
" You kinky little shit." Lance nudged him.
" But I thought grandpa got buried?" Shiro raised an eyebrow.
" Not the point." Keith facepalmed, and Pidge slid the pile of black cards to Keith because it was his turn. He was sitting between her and Lance in the circle.
" Charades were ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____."
" Shiro, this game is supposed to be funny. It doesn't have to be accurate." Matt laughed at him.
Everyone soon had their cards flat on the table, and Keith mixed them up.
The dead rat you drunkenly stepped on (Matt)
Oral sex (Allura)
Dead parents (Shiro)
Having sex with a sock puppet (Hunk)
Masturbation (Lance)
Hearing your neighbor having loud sex (Pidge)
An extremely horny Granny Smith (Shay)
" What the fuck." Keith said after reading all of them. " I'm too gay for this." He said. " Who laid the masturbation one?"
Lance raised his hand, and Keith gave him the black card.
" My turn~" Lance purred to the entire group.
" What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?"
" I HAVE THE PERFECT CARD FOR THIS!" Pidge slammed a card onto the table.
And Lance chuckled to himself while swirling all the cards together.
Fart fetishes (Keith)
Foreskin origami (Matt)
A mog, half human, half dog (Shiro)
AIDS (Allura)
Child Protective Services (Pidge)
Small hands (Shay)
The fear of erect penises (Hunk)
" No contest." Lance sputtered and laughed immediately. " This one!" He held up Pidge's card.
" Told you!" Pidge exclaimed, snatching the black card.
Keith slowly began clapping in an ironic way. And Lance passed the black cards to Hunk, who was to his right.
" Am I allowed to skip a turn?" Hunk asked hopefully.
" No."
" I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____." Hunk had a miserable face while setting down the black card. He was terrified.
Keith made a face, letting his eyes go wide while contemplating if he should lay his card. Fuck it. This game was meant to be messed up.
A sad blowjob (Lance)
Gay for pay (Matt)
Hugs (Shiro)
Giving the tumor a cutesy name (Keith)
A road trip to Pennywise's gutter (Allura)
Sunshine and rainbows (Shay)
Cock flavored spit (Pidge)
" You guys are so gross!" Hunk shuddered. " Sunshine and rainbows wins!" He almost immediately made his decision. Shay took the black card.
" Are you kidding me?! I wasted a good card!" Lance pouted.
" My turn?" Shay took the deck of black cards.
" During sex I like to think about _____."
" Why are all of these so dirty?" Shiro looked like he was wishing for death.
Daddy issues (Keith)
Fucking a corpse back to life (Lance)
Destroying the evidence (Shiro)
Not having sex (Allura)
Demonic possession (Hunk)
Autoerotic asphyxiation (Matt)
Dead babies (Pidge)
" These are so dark!" Shay gasped. " I pick not having sex."
" Yay! I got one!" Allura said, taking the black card. " And it's my turn, right?"
" _____. Kid tested, mother approved."
Matt chuckled to himself while laying down his card, which happened to be very bad.
Three dicks at the same time (Lance)
The Make A Wish Foundation (Hunk)
Underage orgies (Keith)
Natural selection (Matt)
Incest (Pidge)
Dying (Shay)
Whatever you wish, Mother. (Shiro)
Allura looked conflicted while looking over the cards. They were pretty messed up, but a few of them were actually funny.
" Natural selection." She said, shrugging.
" Aha!" Matt smirked proudly while snatching the card.
" Now I'm the judge?" Shiro asked, and everyone nodded. He looked at the deck of black cards, and felt like it menacingly staring back at him.
" Instead of coal, Santa Clause now gives bad children _____."
Spankings (Lance)
A bitch slap (Keith)
A Bop It (Shay)
White privilege (Hunk)
Multiple stab wounds (Matt)
Reverse cowgirl (Pidge)
Obesity (Allura)
" Jesus! What have children ever done to you people?!" Shiro had wide eyes after reading the cards.
" Don't get me wrong, I love my siblings and everything, but they can be such monsters sometimes." Lance said, having intense flashbacks to one of the last times he'd babysat. Mental note: don't leave coffee unattended where the gremlins can get to it. Lance discovered that his brothers, being the weird children they are, had actually succeeded in chugging it.
" I'm happy to be an only child." Allura smiled.
" Lucky you." Pidge narrowed her eyes at her from across the table.
" Oh, shut up! You love me." Matt hit his sister's arm. It quickly turned into a playful slapping fight.
" Shiro, pick one already." Keith said.
" Uh- I guess. A Bop It?" Shiro said, feeling rushed.
" Wow." Lance rolled his eyes. " How is Shay winning?! No offense."
" None taken." She grinned while taking the card.
Matt was holding Pidge back by pressing her forehead as he drew a black card. After this the cards would've gone full circle.
" _____. High five, bro."
The biggest, blackest cock (Pidge)
Scrubbing under the folds (Keith)
Making the penises kiss (Lance)
Tasteful sideboob (Shay)
Cannibalism (Hunk)
Dem titties (Allura)
Civilian casualties (Shiro)
" This game." Hunk facepalmed.
" You're just sour cause you don't have a card yet." Lance chuckled.
" Who put cannibalism?" Matt asked, and Hunk's hand shot up as he looked at Lance the entire time.
" You were saying?" The cinnamon roll asked while accepting the black card from Matt.
" Shut up." Lance crossed his arms.
...
It was late. The stars were out, and the moon was brightly glowing in the night sky. Lance, who was unable to sleep, had wandered out of the cabin. He just felt... weird. And he couldn't quite put his finger on why.
As he sat at the end of the dock, dangling his legs into the surprisingly warm lake water, he was still puzzled. It wasn't an uncomfortable physical feeling like a stomach ache, or a sore muscle. It was a metaphorical itch that he just couldn't scratch.
Something about his instincts felt different. Like there was a switch that had been flipped. He felt as though he couldn't leave Keith alone, or let him leave the room if he was by himself. Whenever his omega did anything, anything at all, he felt the need to be on alert and keeping him safe from everyone and everything. Never had Lance ever felt like that before. Sure, he'd been insanely protective, but not like this.
He just needed to clear his head, calm his mind so it would stop racing all the time. Even though leaving Keith in the cabin by his lonesome was a major no no in his brain, Lance had forced himself to.
It hadn't taken Keith long to notice that Lance had gone. The smaller boy was so accustomed to having Lance there, having his arms tangled around him.
" Babe?" Keith reached over, feeling at Lance's side of the bed, which was faintly warm from his lingering body heat. He squinted, blindly reaching to grab his phone from the beside table and angle it towards himself. 1:47?! Where the hell would Lance be other than in bed?
Keith set his phone back down, and shifted in bed to take the covers off. There was a little bit of worry that was taking hold inside his chest. Maybe it was just his submissive tendencies making him paranoid, but this wasn't something Lance did.
He was limping somewhat as he looked around their small cabin, seeing the bathroom and kitchen were free from people. The house was vacant other than his own presence, and Keith discovered that after exploring the whole place.
More worried.
Keith took a few deep breaths, knowing he was probably just scaring himself for no reason. Lance was fine. And he knew that as he slipped on his loosely laced Converse, not bothering to tie them as he walked out.
There was a warm breeze dancing through his surroundings, and Keith inhaled the fresh smelling air. His hair was casually blowing back from the wind, but he continued walking around the yard, trying to figure out where Lance could've been. He wasn't cold, even though he was wearing spandex and a thin tank top.
Lance sighed as he looked out onto the calm, for the most part, undisturbed waters. The moonlight was shining down onto its surface, making it glisten peacefully.
He just wasn't feeling the same, like something had changed. He was more serious in the past couple days, ever since Keith's heat had abruptly ended.
After Keith checked the main lake house, he was walking along the sandy shores of the water. The grains were unbelievably soft, and he enjoyed the way they felt beneath the bottoms of his shoes. It was quiet, but not a creepy and undeterred silence. Crickets were chirping in the background, and owls were in the trees adjacent to houses, filling the forest with their calls. There was also the sound of water sloshing on the sand. Even though there wasn't current or anything, it still moved a little and splish-splashed on the bank.
He looked out onto the water, admiring it for a while before noticing the silhouette on the end of the dock.
Lance heard footsteps approaching him, and he turned his head around, seeing Keith coming up behind him.
" Hey..." The omega mumbled, taking off his shoes and socks to join Lance in dangling his feet to the water. " What're you doing out here?" Keith asked.
" I... I don't know. I couldn't sleep." Lance honestly answered, inching his hand over to Keith's and intertwining their fingers.
" Did you have a nightmare?" The shorter boy asked, wondering if Lance got them as well.
" No... I never went to sleep." Lance sighed. " I'm just... off." He was feeling like he was in some sort of funk that wouldn't go away.
" Off?"
" Like, I just feel so serious. Even during today's game I didn't feel right, and I felt like I had to force a lot of my laughs. I just-... my instincts are making me so weird right now and I hate it." The alpha explained. And Keith stood up, letting an idea pop into his head. Being the omega in the relationship, he had a subconscious duty to make his boyfriend feel satisfied in every possible way. His work wasn't done until Lance was content.
" Well... let's have some fun then." He smirked down at him.
" What do you mean?" Lance asked, and looked up at Keith in a confused way.
The omega slipped off his tank top, letting it drop to the wooden boards of the dock. He smiled at Lance, taking off his spandex, and soon his underwear with no explanation. As soon as he'd stripped down, Keith hurled himself into the water, creating a huge splashing noise and causing the lake to ripple all around him.
" Swim with me?" He asked, now a little past his waist in water. The sand at the bottom was ridiculously soft, and felt like mushy velvet under his feet. " I know you love swimming, Babe..."
Lance was wide eyed. This about the last thing he'd expected when Keith came out here to be with him. But a smile crept up on his face. He fondly looked at his boyfriend, grinning as he felt Keith splash him with some water.
" Hey!" He laughed, kicking some of the water back at him. " Knock it off!" Lance let out a giddy chuckle. So Keith loved the water too, huh? It would've been a deal breaker if he didn't.
" Come in here and make me, Loverboy~" Keith smiled at him before sending a huge wave of water flying at Lance.
" Oh, it's on!" Lance got up, already cheered up thanks to Keith. His shirt was soaked near the bottom as he threw it off and quickly got out of his shorts. He wasn't shy about the boxers as they too hit the dock. Next thing Lance knew, he was jumping into the water. It was refreshing, not too cold and not too hot.
Keith laughed, throwing more of the very clear lake water at Lance, who was splashing him right back.
This was Lance's happy place. In the water, swimming around in it, living in a carefree way even for just little while. But the thing that made this place even more joyful was Keith, his wonderful boyfriend. It didn't matter that it was the middle of the night, and all their friends were fast asleep. It didn't matter that they'd be exhausted, and functioning like zombies in the morning because of this. Lance didn't regret a single thing about it.
He made his way closer to Keith, seeing that his hair was wetted down from all the water.
Keith smiled wider, knowing that Lance was starting to feel better. He could tell just from the look on his face that he wasn't a slave to his alpha instincts, even if only for the moment.
" I love you... so so much..." Lance warmly gazed into Keith's eyes, which had a jaw dropping illumination in them. The deep purple color was reflecting back brightly in the moonlight.
" I love you too..." Keith felt Lance embrace him, and lift him up so he was being carefully held.
The alpha could only kiss Keith contently, and he realized that his cheeks were already hurting from how much smiling he'd done. He felt Keith tangle his hands into his now wet brown hair, and he chuckled into the contact quietly.
Keith slowly let his eyes close as he melted into the kiss. It didn't become steamy at all, and it wasn't even remotely close to anything they'd done during his heat. This was a very lively, love filled kiss that they shared in an anything but sexual way. It was sort of ironic, being that they were literally skinny dipping, but even that part didn't matter.
Lance's intentions weren't lust driven at all as he held his omega close. He loved him so much that it was insane. This was the person he wanted to spend his life with, to have a family with, to grow old with. Keith. This was him, and in that moment, it was completely clear to Lance. He'd known for a while now, but this helped to make him even more dead set about it. They'd already soul bonded, and gotten promise rings, and been dragged through hell just to stay together. Lance knew that no matter what life threw at them, he'd never leave, and he'd never ever give up the feeling of Keith's lips on his own.
As they pulled away and rested their foreheads together, they couldn't help but share a giggle.
" You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for." Lance smiled down at him.
" You're the most amazing alpha... I couldn't ask for anyone more loving than you are." Keith murmured, feeling sappy for saying it. But it was true. Lance was the one and only man for him.