|Chapter: 42|
"I'm sorry again and thank you", I said trying hard to form a smile while taking the seatbelt off.
"Its fine again and you're welcome", Kevin replied with the same tone I used.
Mary got what she wanted and left. With her one nightstand. But not before warning to cut Kevin's balls if he don't look after me and take me home safely. I learned they are schoolmates. If anyone Mary really talks to or even say one complete sentence to is Kevin in school.
I didn't really wanted to bother him. But he said, "Mary's command is my wish." I had to take the offer of him dropping me home after that.
"Do you think it worked?"
I had no idea what he was asking about. Instead of climbing out of his car, I turned on the seat to face him.
"What?"
"You know before when I was trying to flirt with you to make Mary jealous. Worked or not?" I noticed the tint of blush on his cheeks. Now that make sense why I always found him glanching at her time to time.
"You like her?", I jumped on the seat, suddenly my mood swinging from sulking to exciting. Kevin was a good guy and I'd be beyond happy to see them together which could also mean making Mary believe in love again and prove that all boys are not some.
"I love her since 8th grade", he beamed.
Aww.
I smirked folding my arms. "Thats a strong word there. And about that working thing. It totally did beacuse she called you horse and told you to slow down", I reminded him.
I actually felt sorry for him. He had to see the love of his life walk into someone else arm for the night. He seemed unaffected. Maybe he covered up too well.
"I know. I wish I could scream it to the world. I actually did once", he heaved out.
"You did what?", I was utterly shocked.
He took his seatbelt off and turn to face me as he started, "My uncle Joan has a farm in Texas and last time when I was there to help him, Mary called and confessed that she misses me. I was so happy that I shouted it to the world. But unfortunately, there were only cows and they went like 'mooo'."
I was laughing so hard that I forgot how to breathe. But at the corner of my eyes I felt the tears trying to break out of it. I was really happy and at same time I want to cry. I don't even know why.
Nick. He occupied my mind like the air in the space.
"Its getting late I should probably go. Goodnight", I smiled this time genuinely.
He nodded. "Night. But not a word we talked inside this car goes out", he warned making a serious face.
"Alright captain", I saluted making him chuckle.
I climbed out of the car and waited for him to drove away. When he did, I turned around only to meet the horror of my life standing with his hands shoved inside his pockets near the lamppost.
The night was dark with the moon behind the cloud and his shadow looked as intimidating as him. I gulped when he took steps towards me as his eyes raked my body up and down without a single dot of emotion in them. It was like seeing the cold Nickel Black back again.
"If this is your way of punishing me for what I did last night. I must admit, it's working", he quietly said, hinting the pain in his voice like he was hurt but it was hard to believe with his eyes so cold.
"Punishing you? I've no idea what you're talking about", I said trying act like he didn't affect me or even his presence. In reality I was beyond affected. I folded my arms to hide my cleavage when I found him staring at.
"You know very well", he clenched his jaws together as he brought his eyes back on mine. He was pissed.
The cold wind blew making me shiver. I walked past him because I have no intention to get sick. I was tired for the day already and I miss the warmth of my bed so I directly climbed up to my room. Surprisingly, Nick didn't follow me.
I changed in my sweater before letting my tired body fall on the bed. I switch off the lamp on my side. The room become dark and then it lit up with the neon green lights reminding me of him. I don't know how he did, week ago he installed a single switch for both the lights beside my bed. So that if one goes off, the other one's on automatically.
I felt the first tear flow down. I want to hit him continuously and ask him why is he involved in that drugs mess and tell him to stop. But I just don't have the strength to confront him. Why? I hate myself for being so weak. I hate myself for being scared to hear the answer 'no' and thinking what if he denys it.
I hugged the pillow which smells like him, fresh lemon. How much I love that smell. I miss his arm wrap around my waist. I miss his warm breathe fanning my neck. And like that again, I broke into sobs until I drifted off.
Not after too long I felt the side of my bed dip and then presence of a hard body laying beside me. And I knew it was him. He snaked his arm around my stomach pulling me closer to him. Without putting a single protest I leaned back on him finding his comfort. I need this. I need him.
My eyes were wide open. Silence filled the room except his fast beating heart that matched with mine. I could even feel it on my back and his uneven breathing on my neck.
We lay for like thirty minutes without speaking until when he decided to break it. "If you're thinking I stopped yesterday because I don't want you. Then you're wrong. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted. But I want to make your first time special, not something out of lust."
I closed my eyes processing his words. He was right. We are not even together to take that step. I stayed silent as he continued, "I know I lost it but I had to stop so I did. I left in the morning because I needed to clear up my head and think straight. That's a lame excuse but believe me I will never ignore you. Please forgive me."
My heart clenched with pain for thinking all the stupid things during the whole day and hating on him. But that didn't change that I was still not happy with him. So I finally decided to drop the bomb.
"Do you still work for OZ?", my voice was barely audible. I felt his hold on my body tighten. Then he turned me around, to face.
"How did you know?", he was shocked I could say taking in his expression.
"Answer me first. Do you still deal drugs for them?", I spitted out with anger that I was holding in for long now as I push led his hand away and sit up with my back pressed to the wall.
"Rena I can explain I..." he trailed off sitting up too.
"Yes or No?"
"Rena..."
"I said yes or no?"
"YES. FUCKING YES", he snapped angrily making me flinch with fear. I folded my arms trying to act strong.
I waited and waited in a hope that he'll explain something or anything. Even a promise that he'll give up. But nothing came. He just stared at me blankly. I closed my eyes letting the tears flow down freely.
The next word left coldly from my lips.
"Leave."
.
I dropped all the stuffs in the cart while Sarah checked the list again and again to make sure we didn't miss anything for the camp.
At first I thought I'd just cancel on going since Nick and I didn't talk for a week already. That night after he climbed out of my window and he never returned. For days. Wish I knew the reason why I still kept my window open though even at night. Because I hate him. I hate him for choosing that drugs over me.
I hardly saw him the past week. I think only twice. One time when I went out to throw the bin. And one time from my window when he looked prepared to go for a bike race.
I shouldn't really be sad. We are back to being normal. Everything has fallen back to its places just the way it was before.
"Do you think we need more packets of Marshmallows?", Sarah asked holding four large packets.
"Are you crazy? We'll be there for a week and not a month", I snatch two packets from her before keeping it back. I don't trust her.
"We've got everything in the list. I'm so excited for tomorrow", she squealed like a little kid clapping. I just rolled my eyes before walking to the counter to pay.
As they made the bill I turned towards Sarah, "I still think its a bad idea."
"C'mon Ser, you're the one who planned this and the boys will be really disappointed if you don't come", she reasoned out. I frowned as I payed the bill. No choice.
We packed all the stuff inside my car already for tomorrow, that I'd be riding with Salvor to the camp. That brought another memory back, that night when he hit me with the pillow just for us to ride together. It felt so distant already.
"You're zoning out again", Sarah shoved me playfully. I just shook my head before walking around the car and took the driver seat.
"Zac told me Nick isn't himself either. I think you should talk with him", she quietly suggested. I huffed out a frustrated growl.
"Its not about him. Please stop it."
It slipped more harsly than I meant to. But for some reasons I didn't regret it. First my mind and now, she don't have to remind me of him. She remained quiet after that which was very unusual of her.
The ride was in silence until my phone blow up. Mary's face flashed on the screen.
I picked up with one hand.
"Hey, what's up?", I tried to sound cheerful. But my face gave it away. Good thing she didn't do face time.
"Try again", she sounded bored.
"What?"
"Try again faking that cheerful tone. My stepmother can do that better than you and did I tell you, she is very bad."
Oh well, I thought.
I sighed. "Am I that easy to read even though you can't see me?"
"Yeah you're like an open book with loose sheets flying everywhere."
"That sucks!"
"You know what more sucks? Sitting in the diner with Kevin who's checking out the asses of the girls that pass by", she scoffed and that reminded me of Kevin's feelings for her. He is doing it again just to make her jealous. That lighten up my mood a bit.
"Are you jealous?", I asked with a smile now.
"Are you crazy?", she retorted back.
"No!"
"Exactly what I thought. I'm Mary and you're Serena."
Really smart girl.
"Alright I'm driving. Talk to you later", I said turning to Sarah's street.
"Bye to the most annoying person", she said and hung up.
I pulled the brake infront of her house. Without a words she climbed out and I felt like the worst bestfriend on the planet. But seriously she need to stop taking his side for once even if she is dating his bestfriend. Believe me, I'm really happy for them. She deserve all the happiness.
But, I need her to see things as my bestfriend too.
*********
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