Here is the next chapter! I am sooo sorry it took forever. Is it what you all were expecting?
A huge thank you to SugarTheReader for helping me write basically the entire chapter and part of the next!!
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A Duke and A Damsel
Chapter 20
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Emma stood there, bewildered, not quite sure if she had heard Sebastian correctly and not quite sure how to respond. Whatever she had expected to come out of this outing, it wasn't this. She never anticipated that today would be the day she would be proposed to when she had left the house this morning. Her mind was in a muddle.
The proposal had been what she assumed a perfect proposal would be like. The day was bright and sunny, the birds were chirping cheerfully, and she and Sebastian were secluded behind some majestic trees next to the lake.
Sebastian had done everything the way she assumed a prospective fiancé would do. He'd gone down on one knee, said the appropriate romantic lines, and made her feel as if she was the only girl in the world who mattered to him. And he was the perfect man too. Handsome, intelligent, successful. Any woman would be ecstatic in her situation. So why didn't she feel like jumping up and down in joy and immediately saying yes? And why did she wish that it was someone else bent down on one knee in front of her instead of the dashing Captain Sharpe?
Because she didn't love him.
It was as simple as that. And though he claimed to love her, she didn't see how it was possible. He hadn't known her nearly long enough to do so. She had thought he was exactly what she wanted, but he wasn't. She had thought that she could fall in love with him, but she couldn't. She couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with him.
This was the answer to her family's predicament, but Emma couldn't bring herself to say yes. She didn't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage forever. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, and he would come to resent her. She would just have to keep looking.
Just as she was on the verge of turning him down, she heard a rustle in the bushes and a loud thump on the ground. Then, before she could utter even an exclamation of surprise, a greatly disheveled Blake was standing right next to her, looking at her with an expression she'd never seen before.
“You have to say no, Emma,” he said, slightly breathlessly. “You can't marry Captain Sharpe.”
He made a face, while Emma stood completely still, further in shock.
“Especially after that completely not genuine declaration of love that he just gave you. The line was actually quite good, though only Shakespeare says things like that, but the delivery was quite awful. It sounded entirely too rehearsed. If I had said it, I would have put so much more feeling into it.”
Emma finally regained her composure and frowned.
“If you must know, the delivery was perfect,” she began, though she secretly agreed with Blake. “And you will not tell me what I can and cannot do or who I can and cannot marry. I will marry whomever I please, I don't need your permission for that. And how dare you interrupt a private proposal? And what were you doing in those damned bushes in the first place?”
“I was looking for you.”
Emma felt her heart beat a little faster, the way it should have right after Sebastian had proposed. Still, she couldn't get over her anger at his interference. She turned towards Sebastian, who hadn't said a word during this entire exchange, and suddenly her mouth had a mind of it's own. She smiled, hoping it looked more real than it felt.
“Oh, Sebastian, yes. Nothing would make me happier than becoming your wife. I cannot wait to tell my parents the good news.”
It should have been one of the happiest moments of her life; she was finally engaged. So why did it feel like she was losing out on something rather than gaining something?
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Sebastian watched Blake fall out of the bushes with amusement. It was obvious that the Duke liked Emma. However, he hadn’t expected him to follow her everywhere. And, he was ruining the moment.
Does Emma have feelings for him too? Sebastian wondered. Is that why she's hesitating? Hopefully not.
He watched Emma turn towards Blake with a look of surprise and something else. As he observed her argueing with Blake, he remembered another lady that he had once fancied…
No, now is not the time to think about her, Sebastian! He mentally admonished. He couldn’t afford to think about her now. From what he had heard before he left for America, she was happily married to some marquis or duke or something in the country.
Emma reminded him a lot of her. She was just as stubborn but she didn’t make his heart race like the other woman. And even though Emma was beautiful in her own way, she didn't compare. No one could ever take that place in his heart. She was irreplaceable. But, Emma would have to do.
He returned his attention to Emma who had just said, “Oh, Sebastian, yes. Nothing would make me happier than becoming your wife. I cannot wait to tell my parents the good news.” He smiled at her, though he wished it was the one who had captured his heart long ago uttering those words, but he couldn’t pine away at the thought of someone he had lost.
Emma will make a fine wife, he convinced himself. But not as perfect as her, he added as an afterthought.
Mentally shaking himself, he looked at Emma and said, “That’s wonderful!” attempting to sound more enthusiastic than felt. Yes, he loved Emma, but she couldn’t take away his pain. She couldn’t erase his memories.
Still, he leaned forward and captured Emma’s lips with his own. He heard Blake make a small noise. When Sebastian finally let go of Emma, he caught Blake turning around and leaving out of the corner of his eye. Sebastian understood Blake’s pain. He had been there once. He still wasn’t over it. It was said that time could ease one’s heart. But, for Sebastian, three years later he was still sad. He was still angry that they were forced apart by her parents.
But no matter. There’s nothing one can do now, Sebastian thought quietly.
He watched Emma’s expression again and saw her looking at Blake’s retreating figure. Blake looked quite depressed. Once again, he felt a pang of sympathy for Blake, but Blake would get over it. Just like he would one day get over it.
He gave Emma his arm, which she accepted, but something was wrong. She should have been happier.
Is it because of Blake? Sebastian wondered. Does she love him?
He would never forgive himself if he had pulled them apart. It was possible that neither of them realized yet that they were in love. If that were the case, this was far more complicated than he had thought .
Suddenly, he heard Emma gasp as she continued to watch Blake. Her whole demeanor changed, and he felt her fists clench slightly.
“What is she doing here?” she muttered quietly under her breath, thinking he couldn't hear her.
As Sebastian looked over to see who she was talking about, he felt his heart begin to race. Talking quite animatedly to Blake was her. Charlotte. The one who consumed his thoughts. The one who had left him. The one who had torn his heart to shreds.
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Blake Percival Carstairs had felt his heart stop a total of three times in his life.
The first time was as a young child when he was playing with Arjun near a temple. Arjun had fallen from a tree after Blake had dared him to climb to the highest branch, and Blake thought Arjun was dead after seeing him lying unmoving for over a minute. However, after the doctor was called, it was found that Arjun was still alive.
The second time was while sitting in a carriage whose driver was severely drunk. The driver had lost control of the carriage and Blake was sure he would die. For a brief moment, he had seen his entire life flash before his eyes. Fortunately, Blake had come out of the accident slightly injured but alive.
The third time was a few moments earlier, right after he'd heard Emma accept Captain Sharpe’s proposal. He couldn’t believe that Emma had said yes. He had been praying that she would say no and had even made a fool of himself. Not only had he belittled himself by tripping and falling as he came out of the bushes, he had lost the one woman he had ever loved.
Loved? Blake wondered. Where had that word come from? It was impossible; there was no way he could be in love with Emma. Yet suddenly everything was crystal clear. Over the course of the past few days, he had somehow managed to fall in love with Emma—her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, her tendency to get annoyed with him, everything. No wonder her interactions with Sharpe had bothered him so much. He had thought he was just being protective, but in truth, he loved her. It was as simple as that.
And now, over the course of less than five minutes, he had lost her too.
I guess Arjun has been wrong all along, Blake thought miserably. Thinking of Arjun made him angry. Arjun had led him along with his crazy plan and made him hopeful that Emma would someday be his. That had clearly failed horribly. Arjun had promised that Emma would marry him; he should have known that this was one promise Arjun wouldn't be able to keep. And Arjun had no idea how it felt to love someone and then watch the person get engaged to someone else. It hurt to think that in less than a month, Emma would be married to another man.
Well, Emma isn’t married yet. She’s just engaged. She can always break of the engagement, a hopeful part of Blake thought. But the sensible part of Blake pushed the thought away. He wouldn’t let his hopes be raised again. It turned out that his father had been right all along. He shouldn’t have returned to England. There was nothing good for him here. On top of that, if he had stayed in India, he wouldn’t have lost his heart.
The thought of his family in India made him even more melancholy. He wanted to go home, but Emma was here. Though it didn't matter anymore since she didn't love him. This was a one-sided love which would never work out. However, back home, his mother would be able to help him. He would tell her everything.
It didn't matter that he would lose his fortune if he went back. Or that Parliament would appoint a new Duke of Devonshire. Or that his family would be disgraced. He would be free of this horrid place. He would let some other man suffer under the society matrons' wrath and be tortured by persistent mothers.
As he watched Sebastian lean in to kiss Emma, he made a decision. He was going home to India as soon as he got his affairs in order.