"No, you don't have to do this. Please. You don't have to do this. Don't go."
Your eyes are wide as you clamp onto Harry's forearm, begging him not to leave. His eyes roam over your features in a desperate manner, as he tries to make you understand he has to do this.
"Basil killed my brother, YN. You have to understand," before finishing his sentence, Harry grabs your two shoulders and leans in. Your foreheads are touching, and the familiar feeling you get whenever you're close to him appears again, "I love you so much, YN. So bloody much, but you have to understand I need to do this. Please, understand."
Your throat closes up as the words leave his mouth, because you do understand. You do realize Harry has to go chase the guy that killed his brother in cold blood. But the fact that the killer has entire gang behind him scares the hell out of you. Your boyfriend may be the best fighter of your gang, but that doesn't mean he'll get out of a fight with 15 people without getting injured. Let alone not getting a bullet through his head.
With your eyes on the ground and your shoulders down, you take a step closer to his body and wrap your arms around him.
"Please, stay safe," you mumble against his chest.
Harry puts his chin on the top of your head and sighs.
"I will, baby, I will."
Suddenly, the old wooden door opens with a creak behind you. The motion happens so slowly that when a head peaks behind the door, you had the chance to wrap your arms tighter around Harry's waist, in fear he'll leave any second now. Harry looks at the person and lets out another sigh, while his entire body almost collapses in your arms.
"I'm coming, man," Harry says, but as the words leave his lips he only hugs you stronger, like he's afraid to let you go, too.
"If we still wanna do this today, we gotta leave now, H," Jake, one of Harry's best friends and his 'sidekick', announces before closing the door again.
"You promised you'd be there for my birthday." The thought of not having your boyfriend on your 20th birthday makes your eyes burn.
"And I'm not breaking that promise, YN." Harry places a soft kiss on your hair, before he continues, "I must go now, babe. Promise me you'll stay with the boys no matter what - no matter what - and that you won't sneak out to our tree house. If Basil or any of his brothers find out I'm chasing him, they'll try to stop me in every way possible, and that includes that they'll try to find you. So, please, stay with others."
You were born into this. Into people getting killed, because your camp was running out of food. You were born with gunshots all over the place, as people tried to protect their children and the camp, because that was all they had. Family and the camp. Nobody had more.
That's why Harry's words don't face you, because you know you can be a possible victim of your opponents' kidnapping raids every single day. People got reported missing every day, and you realize you can be the next, but you can be the next every day. You had to learn how to live with that. Besides, you can easily take care of yourself. You know how to handle a gun or knives.
"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me-"
"You know that's not possible, YN," Harry interrupts you, his eyes search yours as he gives you a silent message that he is not ready to say goodbye to you for forever.
You caress the side of his face, and wipe a lock of hair out of his face.
"Don't get shot, big guy, 'cause I won't be the one cleaning up your wounds," you whisper. An airy laugh goes past his lips.
"We both know you'll always be the one to clean up my wounds."
● ● ●
Several hours later you're seated on one of the wooden boxes that are gathered around the grand living room. In frustration you run your hands through your hair.
All you can do is wait now, wait 'till he returns and hope he doesn't get injured.
"Heard anything yet?" The question interrupts everyone's thoughts. They all look at you with sympathy. Five pair of big, dark eyes scan your face, figuring out how to word the situation the best. You suppress a stubborn huff. "I'm not going to sit here then, and wait. This may take hours, and I seriously don't have the patience for that. I'm out," the suppressed huff from earlier now leaves your lips as you jump from your seat and walk out of the room with a quick pace.
Hurried footsteps fill the bare hallways of the camp. When you take a glance behind you, you see Simon run after you, but you don't stop. You're tired of waiting.
"I'm only going to get some fresh air, Simon. Leave me alone."
"Can't do that, YN. We got strict orders from Harry to not leave you out of our sight, and I'm not disobeying him. The guy gets scary when something bad happens to you." The stupid joke Simon uses to try to light up the moodoesn't help with your irritable temper at the moment, and you scowl at him.
"He can't always order everyone around, damnit! Especially not me!" you almost scream in Simon's face. "I get that he wants to get back at Basil, I do get it, but he decided to go on his own, so now he'll have to handle things on his own. As much as Harry would like to, he can't control everyone every time. So, I'm leaving. I can take care of myself." After the burst out, you turn around again, and leave the camp.
● ● ●
Sun rays shine through the tiny window of your little cabin. The realization hits you that it's morning and that it's the third day you haven't gotten any sleep during the night.
Ever since Harry has left three days ago, you haven't heard anything from him. Or Basil and his gang. What scares you the most is that it's been so silent. If Harry caught Basil and shot him, his brothers would - without even thinking about their actions for a second - attack your camp. But you haven't heard anything from anyone.
You get dressed in an old pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. When you're about to put your shoes on, someone knocks on the door, and opens the door without waiting for an answer.
Simon's blue eyes meet your sight. The corners of his mouth till up when he sees you, and your body instantly reacts at his expression. Hope fills your blood streams. That smile could mean your boyfriend is finally home.
"Good morning, birthday girl." The hope that has filled your veins, leaves your system little by little. Harry's not back, you think, it's only your birthday.
"Oh." You nod in understanding. "Thanks, Simon. I'll be down for breakfast in a couple of minutes, if that's what you wanted to ask."
The tall blond that stands on your doorstep shakes his head with a modest smile. He tells you to get ready and take a backpack with you, before meeting him at the front of the camp. You do as you are told, curious about what is happening.
A couple of minutes later you're walking towards the front. You see all the boys gathered in a circle, but the second someone notices you, they start to grin at you.
"What's going on? Why are you acting so weird?" You ask, confusion laces your voice.
"Happy birthday, YN," all the boys chant in unison.
You thank everyone for remembering the date, and then ask if you're going to hunt today. Simon answers your question: "You're not doing anything today. Harry may not be here in person, but as always he takes care of you. He planned the entire day for you, so all you have to do is sit back and relax."
Twenty minutes later you're walking behind the group of boys while you wonder what Harry has planned for you.
In all honesty you don't even care about your birthday. All you want is your boyfriend back, safe and sound.
You keep telling the boys they don't have to go through with this since Harry's not here, and they probably have better things to do, but they keep telling you to keep your mouth shut and not worry.
Someone opens a door and you walk into a dark room.
"What's this?" You whisper, before the lights turn on. For a moment you have to shut your eyes to block out the intense light. The second you stop seeing black dots, you let out a surprised gasp. Several canvasses are hung up on the four walls, their colors standing out from the white of the walls. "Who did this?" You turn around the room with wide eyes.
"Harry asked around for all the artists in camp, because he knows how much you love art. We only helped to put all the paintings on the walls."
"This... I can't... This is amazing, thank you," you say with a strained voice from all the emotions that are going through you. You almost run into Simon's arms to thank him. You give everyone else a hug for their wonderful work, and after that they leave you alone to admire the beautiful paintings.
All you can really do when you are left alone, is sit on the ground, your legs crossed and your arms hugging your body. You want to cry, because you still don't know where Harry is, for all you know, he can be dead, and it hurts so much. He can't leave you alone, because you don't know what you will do without him. He makes you want to be the better person you can be, but without him there's nothing or no one that helps you strive to be that better person.
Your heart feels heavy at the thought of never seeing Harry again, never hearing his voice again, and never feeling his touch on your body.
When you feel your body is going to hit breaking point, you jump up from your seat on the ground and you start running. You hate the way your heart is throbbing in your chest, or the way your eyes brim with tears. You hate the way Harry makes you feel when he's not right beside you.
In a swift you pass the boys. Confusing is written on their faces when you sprint passed them. You pass Harry's cabin, and you keep running until you reach your own cabin and fall onto the bed. Only then you allow yourself to cry rivers.
● ● ●
Hours later, when the sun has already set and the moon is the only source of light in the camp, the sudden commotion outside pulls you away from your slumber and you rub your eyes in disorientation.
Outside your cabin, people are shouting and feet are rushing over to somewhere. You stand up to see what is going on, when you have to stop for a little to end the throbbing of your head. The cold air of the cold evening ceases your headache a little when you step outside of your wooden cabin.
A member of Harry's gang runs towards the main living rooms with a determined look on his face. Without giving it much thought, you start to follow after him.
When you run in front of the building where the common living rooms are in, you see a big crowd has formed outside, everyone whispering to each other and they all look around.
You elbow your way through the crowd and slip through the door. The hallway is silent, not even half as busy as outside. Your brows pull together. You decide to follow your gut and walk straight ahead. Simon is standing at the end of the hallway, and you pick up your pace to reach him faster.
"Simon?" His head immediately turns your way.
"YN? What are you doing here?"
"Why?"
"You're not supposed to be here, fuck," he says under his breath, but you hear it loud and clear.
"What's going on? Why are there so many people outside?"
"There's nothing going on. Don't worry about it." Simon walks towards you and grabs your arm as he turns you around. "C'mon, let's go back to your cabin." Your stomach twists in an uncomfortable manner.
"Why were people shouting then, if nothing's wrong?" You get a bad feeling about the situation, and try to twist out of Simon's iron hold. "Just tell me what's going on."
"Let's get you out of here, YN." He tries to grab your arm once again, but you move away with a frown on your face.
"No!" A door from the left of you opens. Jake appears from the room next to the hallway. When you spot him, you take another step away from Simon. You feel your legs giving in underneath you. "Jake?" Your voice is a whisper as you say his name. Jake's mouth forms an 'O' when he realizes what's going on.
"Uh, hi." He awkwardly waves at you, clearly not knowing what to do.
"What are you doing here? Where's Harry?"
Simon interrupts the conversation as he takes ahold of your upper arm and he walks towards to exit.
"Let's get you home, YN."
"What? No," you refuse. His hold on your arm is starting to hurt. "Let me go, Simon. You're hurting me."
"I can't do that, I'm sorry." His grip gets tighter with ever second.
"Let me go! You're hurting me! Why don't you tell me what the hell is going on?!" You're screaming now and you trash around with your free arm. "Let me go, Simon!" In your rage you accidently punch him in the stomach with your elbow. He doubles over in pain, and lets go of your arm. For a second you stand there. Simon clenches his arms over his stomach and his head turns almost red as he grunts in pain.
The curiosity of not knowing why everyone is acting so weird, makes you take a step away from Simon and you tell yourself to calm down.
Your legs take you to the door Jake appeared from only minutes ago. With a push you open the door and it reveals a grey room with a bed in the middle and your almost-dead boyfriend laying in it.
"H...Harry." You sigh and your shoulders drop. "W-what..." But you don't know what exactly you want to say.
He looks horrible. His left eye is covered with a bandage, and his upper body isn't covered by the thin bedsheet, so you can spot the red stain on the bandage that's wrapped around his chest. Then there's another deep wound on his thigh that some people are stitching up. You can see Jake from the corner of your eye watching your every move. Next to him stands Finn, Harry's little brother. Finn's eyes are red and his fists are balled up at his side as he tries to control his tears.
Before your brain can process things, your body makes its own decisions and leads you toward the bed. In desperation you collapse on top of Harry, and your entire body start to shake. The people who are trying to take care of Harry's injures step back from the bed, and minutes later you're alone with your boyfriend. He may not be awake, but you don't care. You are a crying, sniffling mess on top of Harry's chest.
"I missed you so much," you bawled. "I thought I'd lost you. You were away for so long."
Tears stream down your face. You can't get enough of Harry's body warmth and how it feels against your body, because a day ago you really thought you wouldn't feel that ever again. "You don't understand how much I love you," you cried out with a broken voice, "And the thought of you not being here anymore, I can't even begin to proces how that makes me feel. You're going to get better, baby. You must get better." Deep breaths fill your dry lungs and you try to keep your sobs at bay. The open wound inside your chest fills itself with Harry's body warmth. "We're... I want us to get married, baby. I want us to get married near our tree house and I want us to have a lot of babies. You'll be such a great dad. I want everything with you. Please, get better. Without you, I feel so alone."
Your hands tremble and you struggle at coping with the intense series of emotions that flow through your body. Tears blind your vision. You can hardly see Harry's face anymore, but you don't wipe the salty tears away.
A warm hand is placed on your shoulder, and you turn around in a swift motion. Harry's younger brother, Finn, shakes his head in a small manner and he softly pulls you away from the bed. You want to fight him of, scream at him to leave you with Harry, but your body is to tired to do any of that. You let Finn pull you away, so the doctors can get back to work.
"He'll be okay." The raspiness of Finn's voice surprises you, and it's then that it hits you how hard it must be to see his brother - his role model, his hero - lie helplessly on a bed while people try to patch him up. "He's a fighter. He'll get better. And you're not alone. You have us."
The sincerity in his voice and in his eyes speak volumes and you nod in agreement. You have them. You have your family. That's all you'll ever need.