"Wha—what?" I muttered, my gaze still fixated on the blunt in between his fingers.
"I think you heard it clear the first time." He sneered out.
Adrian's back faced me as he sat there staring into god knows what.
"Adrian," I asked, making my way closer, "Are you okay?"
"Have I ever been?"
My heart dropped.
Who was this man in front of me?
Where was the real cocky, asshole Adrian?
"I—I don't—"
"Stop."He ordered, turning around to me.
His eyes were blood shot and held bags underneath them.
Did he sleep?
"What happened Adri?" I questioned, still standing a mere five feet behind him.
"Justin was right Kenzie."
"So you're going to let him win? Let him rule over our own relationship?" I fumed, frustrated at how this conversation shifted.
"I'm pretty fucked up Kenzie, like real bad."
"So tell me if you want, I'll listen."I softened, looking down at my shoes, "That's what I'm here for."
Immediately, I hear steps walking prompting me to look up.
"Do you really want to hear about how messed up I am?" He asked, almost throwing me a disgusted smirk.
"Yes, I do Adrian."
He took a deep breath before opening his mouth.
"I'm not perfect, I'm far from it."
For the short amount of time I've known Adrian, I had learned that his popularity among the general public was much greater than the rest of the members.
He was sought after, talked about, and drawn out to be a picture perfect dream man that women (including myself) drooled over and died to get a taste of.
His personality was cold, but yet so warm as it seemed.
It was hard to believe that Adrian was anything other than perfect at times.
"No one ever said you were." I reassured, looking up into his eyes.
"But everyone thinks it."Adrian spits out, narrowing his eyes to keep his glare directly on mine.
"My managers, the fans, the paparazzi, even you—its what engraved into the public's idea of me."
I wanted to object but the worst part was that I couldn't.
It was the horrid truth.
It was like you wanted to tell him that no one cared because he wasn't important but he was.
Everyone cared about something that wasn't even their business.
More confused than I was, I take his hand in mine, urging him to continue.
"They want to hear and see a perfect kid who sings, raps, and dances—they don't want a broken little boy whose parents died—"
I gasp and wrap my arms around him, as if it could ease with the pain.
I felt shameful almost, giving into the sorrow and emotions I had running for him.
"No, I need to." He choked out, frozen in my embraced.
"They don't want to see a kid who suffers from depression and anxiety as if itwas unoriginal because 'every other public figure has it too'. They don't want tosee a once suicidal kid who is scared of relapsing and suffers from chronic pain so bad that it drives him nearly crazy." Adrian muttered, lifting my chinup.
"So when I tell you I'm fucked up, know that I am. Don't stay here with me, l know that I'll only hurt you in the end and so does your brother."
I bit my lip harder, my selfish tendencies not wanting to listen to his orders.
"He only wants to protect you, I can't blame him for wanting you to stay away from this fucked up mess he calls his best friend."
"I can't." I replied honestly, my tears slowly falling.
"But you need to. I don't want to be the reason behind your tears. I don't wantto be a charity case as the kid who doesn't go back home during holidaysbecause he's in his room letting his thoughts eat him away." He gritted out, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Please. Kenzie. For me if not for you."
"But I can't. I don't know what I'll do or how I'll cope but I want to do it with you Adrian. I don't want to leave you alone." I cried out, pulling him closer, staining his shirt with tears.
"I want you to forget me, you don't need a sob story following you around." Hereplied, hugging me back as well, "You need to forget and I need to relax, so that's why I'm doing all this. Medical marijuana. It helps ease it."
It was then that I realized that Adrian wasn't like any of the other guys I dated or anyone I had ever met.
He was broken beyond repair yet a part of me wanted to fix him.
"I really can't Adrian." I told him, guilt hitting me.
"Do it. We haven't known each other for long, you can even call it a serious fling." He tries to reassure me, stepping back to take another hit.
"Was that all I was to you? A fling?" I muttered, scared of loosing him but hurt at the same time.
"No—yes. This isn't how I wanted this to turn out." Adrian lowers his gaze, turning away again.
"Adrian. I want to be here for you, not as someone who pities you the whole god damn time—but as a girlfriend who cares, who wants to help and share your problems as much as I can." I tell him, pulling him back to look at me dead in the eye.
He smells of whatever he was smoking but his eyes stayed glossed over, looking at me as if he was trying to figure it out whether to go with his heart or his mind.
"I know I shouldn't have thought I was ready for a relationship but I can't help but need you Mackenzie."
"Adrian–"
"Mackenzie, I'm so sorry for loving you."
•••
Okay!
New update!
How many of you are in your feels right now?
:(
Adrian's story has me all fucked up and in tears :( My poor baby has to go through so much.
On a much brighter note though:
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 followers! It isn't much but it means 100 of you are willing to follow my journey as a writer!
Now, for the serious shit.
How many of you are actually enjoying the story?
Is the plot weird or escalating awkwardly?
How do y'all like it?
Should there be any changes?
Anyways I'm still on vacation but I just had to update since it wouldn't be fair for me to not!
Love y'all!
-Anne
P.S. Shoutout to all my 'Third Wheel' readers who are stopping by! There should be a bonus chapter coming up??
•••
Updated: 6•18•18