This chappy is dedicated to Ayeanime223 and their sister! Love you both lots!
Asgardian speech is a bitch.
I'm not even going to do Shakespearean.
No they are not the ducking same if you watch what I write
It is 12am
Fuck
Time to stay up for four more hours because Markiplier
I promise I am not high it's just Percy
Xxxxxxxxxxx
"Oh, my- Fuck!" Percy slammed into a cupboard.
"SHIELD brethren," Thor frowned at the demigod in confusion. "What seems to be ailing my brother?"
"Someone actually threw a flash grenade at him," Clint snorted. "Bruce said he'll be temporarily blind for an hour, maybe two."
"I see," The god still looked confused. "I do not understand, why do you simply watch him and not offer him your assistance?"
The archer gestured to Percy with a wide grin on his face, "I'd like to see you try."
Thor approached the demigod.
"BY ODIN'S BEARD, HE BIT ME!"
--
"Oh, my gods, I'm fucking DareDevil," Percy said in wonder as he ducked in a roll and jabbed Steve in the thigh hard with his fingers.
"Ow!" The super soldier frowned at the demigod, "How do you even see me?"
"I don't, I mean I can't- I can't English," He frowned. "I don't see you, I see... Water. And blood. But it's white. I mean blue. Like water."
"That..." Steve shook his head, "Made zero sense. I'm going to go make some snacks."
"Get me crackers!" Percy called after him as he flopped on the floor like a starfish. "Bruce," He whispered into the air. "Bruce. Bruce. Bruuuuuuce."
"Yes, Percy? I can hear you," The scientist said in amusement from his spot next to him on the couch. "What do you need?"
"I wanna spend some time with my son."
Bruce frowned, "I have so many questions. But to answer yours- no."
"But- why?"
"I'm not letting you play with the Hulk when you're blind- Which reminds me. Why aren't you healing yourself with water?"
"Because it freaks Clint out when I do this," He flopped on his side and lashed his arm out at high speed, grabbing the archer's ankle and making him screech in fright for a moment.
"Ah," Bruce nodded sagely. "I see now. But the answer is still no."
"Hiss!" Percy stood up and jumped up to the vent, crawling in. His voice sounded eerily from the inside as he crawled away, "That's okay, I'll find a way to spend time with my son..."
"Fuck," Tony looked around the living room as he walked up the stairs from his lab. "Did he go into the vents again?"
"Yup."
--
"Brother," Thor watched as Percy smacked his hand against the inside of the pantry doing... something. "Do you need my assistance?"
"YES!" The demigod turned to him so fast, he probably got whiplash but didn't notice because of the "coffee" he drank. "I'm hungry!"
"I see," The blonde nodded. "Then I shall make you some of the tarts of pop. Do you require help to get to a chair?"
"No, I'll just run into it," Percy said without sarcasm as he walked away.
Thor just nodded again and smiled like it was a regular occurrence, "Do you find your sight returning?"
"Kind of," The demigod tilted his head. "Everything's really blurry. It's like- It's like when it's snowing so much and you can't see anything and your eyes burn because snow just attacked your face."
"Ah, yes, that reminds me of Jotunheim!" Thor laughed, grabbing a pop tart packet and putting it in Little Blue.
"Snow attacks your face?" Percy turned to face him, the green of his eyes all fucked up because of the flash grenade. They looked almost as fucked up as the Abomination.
"Indeed. Frost Giants reside in Jotunheim and they can be quite fierce."
"Ohhhhhh, yeahhhh," The son of Poseidon nodded. "Those snow dudes that you fought with your warrior bros and Odin was like "nah sonnnnn" and then Loke-a-doke was like "ah bitch imma freeze you now oh shit waddup" and then you got sent to Hell until you learned to be "worthy.""
Thor was silent for a moment as he processed what was just said, "...Yes."
"Noice."
--
Peter Parker was walking to his apartment with Ned when he received a phone call from Mr. Stark. "Hello?" He tried not to sound too happy when he answered the phone (he failed), "Mr. Stark?"
"Hey, kid," Tony sounded like he was slightly distracted as sounds were made in the background. "Can you stop by the tower today?"
"Say yes," Ned whispered to Peter and the teen quickly shushed his friend.
"Uh, what for?" Parker wondered.
"Um," Tony seemed to be contemplating what to say. "Halo's high."
"Halo's high?" Ned said a bit too loud.
"Is that your friend?" The Stark didn't seem too upset but he did go silent for a moment. Talking could be heard in the background. "Halo says to bring him with you."
"Oh, man... Okay, Mr. Stark, we'll be right there!" Peter grinned widely, his expression mirrored by his best friend.
"Good. Oh, and it's Tony, not "Mr. Stark.""
--
"Natasha, can I braid your hair?"
The Black Widow looked at her fellow SHIELD agent, "Not while you're high. Ask Peter when he comes, maybe he'll let you braid your hair."
Percy gave an almost adorable gasp, "Yes. He'll be a queen."
The redhead nodded, her lips quirking up in amusement, "Yes, he'll be a very nice queen."
"No, Nattttttt! Not "queen." I mean "QUEEN." Petey-pie will slay with his bad self!"
"I'm going to do what now?" Peter laughed as he and Ned stepped out of the elevator, Ned looking around in awe. It was his first time in the Avengers Tower.
"Petey!" Percy smiled widely at the teen, "Can I braid your- Wait, Ned! Hi! I'm Halo but my name is also Percy. Your hair is short but can I try to braid it anyway?"
The words were said in a rush but Ned didn't seem to have trouble following them as he nodded slowly, "Sure. Okay. I'll get my hair braided by a high superhero."
"Yessss," The son of Poseidon said under his breath happily.