(a/n: the end is near and it's getting harder and harder to type...)
"I'm going to school!"
"you still have a fever so you're staying home to rest" I pout at brother's words when I suddenly realized something
"brother, don't you have classes too? I heard yesterday that you we're being called by your classmates because of a problem"
"don't worry about them, I was already way ahead in my class so there's no problem for me to be absent for a day or two besides my sister's health is more important than some lecture"
"brother" I hugged brother as my way of saying thanks. My brother is really still the best brother in the world.
"Catherine"
"hmmm???"
"if you ever fall in love don't fall in love with Ryuuji" I stiffened from brother's words "but...if you ever did...for your happiness...... this time I will accept it" I don't understand why brother is suddenly telling me this things, I was also confuse by his words for it feels like it has something deeper into it. Brother's voice is full of hesitation, pain and defeat that the only way for me to answer is by silence.
"congratulations!!!!!" it was followed by a confetti
"hmm...good you survive" I brushed away the colorful small papers that landed on my hair while looking at Kana and Rin with my deadpan expression. The way they express their happiness made me want to strangle them or even give them a high kick and a straight punch because in the first place I wouldn't have suffered such a thing if not for them. geez....real friendship is a miraculous thing, if I don't love these two girls I would've thrown them to the Marianas trench.
"I still haven't forgiven you two completely yet and the reason I'm not forcing you two to reveal everything is because I am patient enough to wait for the time that you will reveal everything yourself on your own accord" I place my bag on my seat before facing them "just don't make me wait that long" both, Kana who's tearing up and Rin who had a slight smile on her face, nodded before hugging me.
"you're really the best Catherine"
"I'm a limited edition that is the only thing in this world so you two better cherish me"
"we know" when Rin patted me on the head the three of us stared at each other before letting out a laugh.
"Cat" I know it already sounds like a broken record but heck just his voice calling my name is enough to send me into overdrive, my heart seems to forget the word calm that whenever he's near or whenever he calls me my heart seems to automatically accelerate. I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart disease in the future.
"aherm"
"hmmm" I look at Kana and Rin with my eyes wide open to remind them not to do anything
"are you well enough to attend class today?"
"yes" Ryuuji knitted his forehead before taking two steps until he's already in front of me. I look up at him and when he meet my gaze and his face started getting closer I unconsciously took a step back but he put his arms around my waist to stop me from leaving, he then made our forehead touch.
"you're still warm" when he moved a little bit away from me, I was just stiffly standing there looking at him in daze. "oh, right you're adamant with your personal space" when he gave me a pat on the head, I woke up from my reverie and immediately averted my gaze on him "your temperature is still a bit high so you shouldn't have come to school"
"I'm already feeling fine"
"mm...then, when you're feeling dizzy or unwell just say it, don't over exert yourself" I nodded that's when I noticed Monique looking at us with an aggrieved expression on her face.
"Rin, Kana"
"hmmm??" it's our third period but the three of us are currently in the library. Our teacher for today had been called for a meeting so he issued a self-study period, others stayed in the room while the others, like us, decided to head here in the library.
"I decided to have a talk with Monique"
"for what?"
"she confronted me before and told me that she likes Ryuuji, she asked me then if I like him too but because I don't know my feelings back then I did not manage to give her a satisfying answer"
"is there still a need for you to talk to her?" Kana ask while twirling her pen.
"i...being my love rival isn't it a courtesy to tell her about it?" when Kana and Rin just stare at me I gave them a confused look "what?"
"you're too nice" even Rin nodded. "well, if that's what you think is right then go for it"
"nn!"
"anyway, what is your plan now?"
"you're not a villainess anymore"
"hmmm" I laid my head on the table before turning to look at them as I contemplate on their question.
"I'm going to enjoy my new life" well aside from my villainous plan I already plan to enjoy my new life and live my dreams. "I'm going to put all those villainous planning at the back of my head and just enjoy and walk the path of my dreams"
"what about Ryuuji?"
"your engagement?" I was taken aback by it
"I don't know" I said while feeling unsure "back then I told Ryuuji that I don't want our engagement, that I wanted to get out from it"
"what about now?" I look at Rin
"I want it but I don't want it at the same time" I sat straight before clasping my hands and look at them "I want to be engage with Ryuuji but we're still in high school. there are still many years ahead of us, and even though I am already sure of my feelings I had no idea about Ryuuji. The fact that he agrees with my statement back then about terminating our engagement is proof enough that he doesn't feel anything to me"
"how can you be so sure? Did you not cultivate enough feelings for each other? You've been conversing with him since elementary through the net and now you're together with him. Catherine, can't you see? Aside from you, Ryuuji is like a block of ice when it comes to everyone"
"have some trust in yourself more Catherine"
"I know but, what if...what if...." I lowered my head as fear and dread assails me. suddenly, warmth envelops the back of my hand and when I look up I saw Rin and Kana holding my hand while giving me a comforting smile.
"what if's are just product of your imagination Catherine" Rin
"you're braver than this Catherine, don't let your imagination and uncertainty taint up that bravery"
"I'm scared what if he doesn't like me?"
"then ask him" I hesitated after hearing Rin's suggestion
"come on Catherine, where was the girl who freed herself from her own kidnapper back then? It was just Ryuuji! Surely he's nothing compared to those kidnappers" I can't help but let out a chuckled when I heard Kana.
"yeah, Ryuuji is far less scarier than them"
"urk!"
"is there something wrong?" I can't help but ask when they look at each other
"no, nothing. Anyway. Just confess, if it fails, which is impossible, we're here" I just nodded even though inside I'm still hesitating.
"Monique" I immediately called her name when class ended, I saw the curious looks of everyone in the room but I ignored it. "can we have a talk?" but she just gave me a glare before walking away, leaving me there looking at her retreating back.
"that didn't go well"
"she looks mad" after hearing Kana and Rin, I can't help but look at Ryuuji but he has his focus on his phone.
"something wrong cat?" without looking at me Ryuuji suddenly asked a question
"ah, nothing"
"hmmm" when he look at me I immediately gave him a stiff smile "don't wander around, you're still not well"
"okay" when he nodded and leave I even wave at him
"strawberry"
"huh?"
"the two of you had this pink aura, stop spreading it!"
"just your imagination" I countered even though I feel happy about it. "but" I look at Monique's desk "Monique seems to have a problem" even though I said I know that it's not actually a problem. she's angry at me. "I need to talk to her" without waiting for them I immediately head out to look for Monique.
Cough, cough I leaned on the wall while trying to compose myself. I've been running around the whole school but I can't still find Monique. I tug my neck tie until it was untied while I was wiping my sweat, I gasp a few breath when I saw someone leaning on the acacia tree beside the third gymnasium. I squint my eyes and when I saw the familiar strawberry blonde hair I let out a sigh of relief. After taking in deep breaths I immediately head to where Monique is hiding.
"Monique" Monique look at me with eyes full of surprise, her mouth slightly open because judging from the tetra pack with a straw on her left hand she's about to drink something when I showed up. after she composed herself she gave me a glare and was about to run away but I open my arms to trap her. "I have something to say"
"I don't want to hear it"
"you ask me then" I continued with my purpose, totally ignoring her words "if I like Ryuuji" she stopped and look at me. "back then I did not managed to give you a straight answer because I had no idea about what I feel about him"
"are you hear to gloat?"
"huh?" I asked confused
"are you here to gloat because Ryuuji is favoring you again?"
"no! I just want to tell you that I like Ryuuji too and that I just want to answer your resolve"
"so what if you answer my resolve? Will that do anything? Will I benefit from it?" eh? I blink my eyes when Monique's image starts to get blurry. "do you know how much I hate you right now? Your words back then keeps resounding in my head ever since Ryuuji had turn me down! And I hate....i hate how true it is that I'm just a nobody to him while you're someone who stays in his world. Why? Why does it have to be you?" I shake my head when her image started to double and her words sounds incoherent. I touch my head when I start to feel dizzy. "is it because you knew him earlier than me? I loved him first! Tell me why does he had to be cold to me but warm to you?" when Monique held my shoulders I almost stumbled down "tell me! how can you be better than me?!"
"Monique...." I uttered her name weakly as I feel my body starting to get heavy.
"what?! Cat—wait, Catherine? Are you okay? why are you so hot? hey Catherine??" I saw Monique calling at me but my body just wants to lie down "Catherine?!"
"Ryuuji!!" I immediately stood when I saw him coming.
"where is she?" I stood there in shock when I saw an unfamiliar expression in his face. when Catherine, passed out a while ago, in my panic I immediately called Julie. Catherine and I are at the furthermost corner of the academy and few students tend to hang out in this area as the third gymnasium is rarely used. Without anyone to rely on, I called Julie and in a moment of panic blurted out that Catherine had confronted me and that she had passed out. I had the urged to just run away but my conscience wouldn't let me leave Catherine alone so I asked Julie to relay the information to Catherine's friend.
"s-she..." when I got out from my shock, I was about to point to my left where Catherine is but before I could do it Ryuuji had already walked passed me. I turn to look at them only to feel an immeasurable pain in my chest. Because crouching beside Catherine is a Ryuuji that I don't know.
When I came to Argent in my middle school to experience their cultural festival, I was just a girl devoid of any thoughts in romance. I never knew that my visit in Argent will change all that. losing my way and losing my companion during one of the tours almost put me into panic but by following the crowd I get to see an amazing scene. he look like someone who is in the same age and year as me yet the way he carry himself while doing archery is just breathtaking. His posture and the way how every arrow hits the mark perfectly in the center was just too heaven defying and for the first time I found myself being entranced by some guy.
I learned his name and coupled with that is his nickname as the king, when I heard it a smile appeared on my face as his posture back then really exudes an air of elegance and superiority that befits a king. I started collecting any piece of information I could get that involves him, it might be little but for me it's enough. the second time I saw him again was inside a sweets shop, it was also my first heartbreak. when I saw him interact with a beautiful girl, I ask some of my friends and learned that she's the vice president of the middle school section, the queen and the closest girl besides Ryuuji. I thought of giving him up back then but I did not for I learned that Ryuuji is not involved with anyone. Thinking that I had a chance I nurtured this feeling inside of me.
Armed with such knowledge I put all my efforts to enter Argent. I know their admission exam is number one in the country when it comes to difficulty but I persevered until I managed to be on top.
On the first day of school, I saw him again. like destiny I accidentally fall from the tree just below Ryuuji, in my heart I feel blessed for the opportunity to be caught by him yet it did not happen because in those last seconds he moved away. The event was distressing but it could not bring me down so when he started approaching me and talking to me, inquiring about things and taking my dish I felt like I was in seventh heaven. Everything is just perfect, Ryuuji had noticed me and had ignored Catherine. This ordinary student had overthrown the queen! I started to think that those words which Ryuuji uttered before, that he was just asking things because Aoi was too shy to ask, that he was just getting the dish because Aoi and our schedules clash, were just plain excuse to be closed to me. I fool myself into thinking that I had caught Ryuuji's eye that I am better than Catherine.
But such sweet and happy moments had immediately came to an end, suddenly it was not Ryuuji who is talking and inquiring about me, it was not Ryuuji who is asking for my dishes, it was now Aoi. Ryuuji had started to pay attention to Catherine, Ryuuji was now ignoring me.
thinking that Catherine, is taking Ryuuji away from me because of her own jealousy, I confronted her. i accused her things and said things which might've been hurtful but her answer that I'm just a nobody had hit me right in the center. I denounced such word, how could I be a nobody when Ryuuji chose me over her? how could I be a nobody when Ryuuji was with me those past weeks? It was painful and I could not accept it, wanting to prove a point a gather enough courage and confessed yet I seems to be really a nobody to him. his cold eyes, his ruthless smile were a contrast to the smiling and warm Ryuuji that is always together with Catherine. It's like he was looking at someone who is not worthy of his time, he was like the cold demon king that the others had mentioned before, cold, unfeeling and too detached.
Now, in front of me is another Ryuuji whom I'm not familiar with. The ice cold King is all gone, what was standing before me is just a man, a man who is full of worry.
"what happened to her?" I clenched my hands as I bear the pain
"she...she just fainted...i...did not do anything" Ryuuji seemed to ignore my last word as he looks at Catherine with tenderness and worry before carrying her. "will...will she be okay?" I sucked in my breath when Ryuuji looked at me. what irony! I imagine Ryuuji to be in love with me when this is the first time he'd actually look me in the eyes.
"she will be okay" before saying those polite words he then take Catherine away. As I slowly followed behind him I can't help but admit that the Ryuuji I fell in love with was not the godlike figure who was performing archery back then, it was the mortal and warm Ryuuji who was with Catherine. I look at the familiar yet unfamiliar back of the man I had first fall in love with and noticed for the first time that this, this was the back of the man I had fallen in love with.
A tear escaped my eyes when a sudden realization hit me. It hurts, it really hurts to realize that after all this time the one I fell in love with is someone's Ryuuji. I closed my eyes as tears starts to fell, I stopped from following behind Ryuuji and just crouched down to cry. The smiling Ryuuji, the one exudes an air of warmth, the one who would gave out a slight smile, everything, everything of Ryuuji that made me fell in love with him was the Ryuuji standing in front of Catherine. It was Catherine's Ryuuji that I fell in love with.
"does it hurt?" I don't know how long had I been crying there all alone when a familiar voice sounded beside me. when I look up, crouching down in front of me is Aoi. "did your heart break?" Aoi wiped the tears on my left eye before putting his hand on his lips and right before my eyes he tasted my tears. "perfect" I trembled when a bewitching smile appear on Aoi's angelic face.
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