(a/n: i'm revealing secrets...parts of it actually)
"I'm in love with Ryuuji!!" I shouted when I heard them about to put the phone down. Luckily the walls in my room are pretty thick or else everyone inside will be running in my room.
"what??????" I held my phone away when Kana shouted
"shit!!" I shrunk under my blanket when I heard a clatter on Kana's line followed by loud a thud, she probably fell on her chair, judging by the clatter.
While they were surprised with my sudden confession I feel like my heart is going to burst and that my head will suddenly blow up with all these emotions running in me. god, why did I not realized it sooner? Why have I been so blind? I was too dense that when I realized it I found myself too deep in it already.
"I'm coming in your house!"
"eh?"
"I'm flying there right now!!"
"huh?" I look at my phone when they suddenly cut off the line. don't tell me, they're really coming? I open my drawer and took a peak at my alarm clock, when I saw the time indicated there in, 1:15, I shrugged off before lying down. They're just exaggerating
I tried to sleep, seriously tried to sleep yet no matter what I do Ryuuji's face keeps popping in my head, his smiles, his voice everything! Ahhh!!!! Why is my mind so full of thoughts pf him.
One sheep, two sheep..........three hundred sheep........I'm going crazy!!! Ryuuji!!!!!!!let me sleep!!!!
"ahhhhh!!!!!!" I woke up with a start when another replay of the time when Ryuuji kissed me during the cultural festival rolled like a film in my mind.
"geez Catherine, so early in the morning"
"can't you wake up more quieter next time?" my scream was immediately cut off when I saw Kana and Rin leisurely hanging out in my room. I closed my eyes, twice, to confirm whether I'm dreaming or not but contrary to what I expect they remain in their place. I scrambled to the side and reach for the drawer handle to get my alarm clock. When I check the time it was already six in the morning. If I remember it right I went to sleep at nearly five in the morning.
"you look like the dead Catherine, did you sleep last night?" I brush the hair dangling on my face upwards using my fingers before sluggishly walking in their direction. I sat on the chair lifelessly while looking at them.
"Ryuuji's face keeps popping in every three seconds and I keep on hearing his voice in my head!!"
"whoa!"
"that's......." when Rin can't seem to figure out her words she just shrugged
"but look at that, you finally noticed your feelings! Isn't that great" I nodded before shaking my head "what? What's with the shake?"
"he's the male lead"
"okay?"
"I'm the villainess" I said softly
"are we going back to that crap again" Rin uttered which made me lower my head "heads up Catherine, there is no male lead, protagonist, heroine, villain or whatever here!"
"but the manga" I said weakly
"but this is not the manga world! This" Rin pointed below "is our world!" Rin put emphasis to her last word.
"if it's the real world then explain to me why am I inside a manga!" I said helplessly. "ever since I remembered my memories I already recognized this world as different however what made it hard to sink in is the fact that I'm inside a freaking manga!" I raised my hand in frustration before turning my back to them "My life is revolving around a fixed plot! With fixed characters! And the hardest thing is that the man I just realized I love is destined to be with the heroine!" I uttered every word as if they're curse as hot tears flow down my face while I clench my hands tightly to restrain myself from completely flaring up while exposing my thoughts to them.
"Catherine" I look at Kana when she held my hand "this is not the manga world" she said solemnly
"how can you be so sure? Ryuuji is there, Aoi, even the hero—"
"they're not some characters Catherine! I know, deep down you know that" I lower my head because indeed a part of me had acknowledge them as human being and not just any manga character. However, still, a large part of me can't shake off the thought that I'm inside the world of Kira Kira no Love story.
"yes, indeed I've acknowledged them as human beings, however how can you assure me that the events that transpired inside the manga will not happen here? Kana, Rin you've seen it, you've witnessed moments in this world that are pretty much a copy of the events in the manga. I was kidnapped, Ryuuji and Aoi is here, even the heroine!"
"yes, but there are also events that are entirely different from what happened in the manga" Kana enunciated
"Catherine, did your father turned black in character? Did your mother ended up having an affair? Did you Ryuuji caught the falling heroine from the tree during the beginning of the school term? Did Ryuuji stayed in the archery club?" I stare at Rin as the information stated in the manga filtered my mind "Catherine, did the Catherine in the manga joined the karate club? Did she ended up being the vice president of the middle school division? Did she get acquainted with Ryuuji when she was in elementary, did Zero, your uncle and the others around you appear in the manga?" as I hear every words that came out from Rin's mouth it feels like every shackle that restrains me with the thought that I'm living inside the manga world which contains a pre-ordained fate is slowly being shattered one by one. "tell me Catherine, do you still think that you're living inside the world of Kira Kira no Love Story?" I gave Rin a conflicted look "Catherine!" I flinched when she shouted my name "look around you, remembered what the past years had transpired! Are your parents, your brother, your bodyguards and everyone around a mere manga character? Were the beings that are being controlled by a so called plot?" suddenly the veil covering my eyes is slowly being lifted "were their emotions and actions controlled by it? Were your decisions and theirs being influenced by a plot? Where your growth and theirs because of it?" I shake my head, slowly at first but as everything sinks in I suddenly feel free. The shackles of my own making had finally crumbled to the ground, the mindset that imprisoned me had turned to dust. Everything turned clearer.
"no! no" I shake my head fervently this time as tears stream down from my eyes "this is real! everything is real" I slumped to the floor smiling and crying at the same time as my mind finally become clearer. I'm such an idiot for cocooning myself with the thought that I'm not living in a real world, I'm such a fool for always reminding myself that I'm a villain when I can be the own heroine of my own story.
"even though you look crazy right now, I'm glad that you've finally woke up from your stupidity" I laugh at Rin's words before hugging her and Kana.
"I'm not a villainess"
"I've been telling you that since day one" I laugh again with so much happiness.
"you alright now?" I nodded at Kana's words after coming out from my shower. When I was still high with my emotions, Rin had unceremoniously dumped me in the shower after telling to compose myself.
"good, since you're fine now go get dress and we're going to have a long talk" based on Rin's serious expression I'm guessing she's either going to scold me or she's dropping some sort of a bomb. So without missing a beat I immediately grab a change of clothes. When I finished changing I saw the two of them having tea on the veranda. The maid had just left after setting the breakfast on the table.
"wait, I did not managed to asked but since when have you been here?" I asked the two of them while taking a seat
"we've been here since five thirty in the morning, the maid had graciously lead us to your room after Rin talked with her" I look at Rin in suspicion. Both father and mother are on a business trip and when they're away the security in our home triples so I wonder how did she managed to convince the maid to let them in, inside my room.
"don't worry I draw the line of killing her so there should be no problem"
"Rin!"
"relaxed I just messaged Alexie, he was the one who confirmed that we're not a threat" I frowned, since when did Rin and Alexie get acquainted.
I let out a cough when after the conversation everything suddenly turned silent "aherm, before we proceed to the talk Rin had in store for us, can I just ask, when did the two of you realized that this is differe—I mean this is not inside Kira Kira no Love story?"
"from the beginning"
"from the start" the two of them answered in chorus. Okay, I'm the only one stupid enough not realize it
"then" I turned to Kana "why did you not tell me?"
"would you have listened to me?" I nodded but after thinking for a while I shake my head. She's right I was too engrossed with my thoughts that I would just treat it as her being crazy, when in fact I was the crazy one. "see. I've been giving you hints, though subtle" Rin coughed "okay, they're not really hints but you were just too into your own thoughts that this could never be a real world that forcefully pointing that out to you would be useless"
"as for me" I look at Rin "I never pointed put the truth to you because there was not an ounce of doubt in your heart that everything in this world is quite different from what you've read in the manga. You believe in your so called truth that pointing out the differences would end up to no good results. Catherine, you had this trait that when you believe in something, it is hard to turn your view into the straight path since your mind had this habit of filtering things to suit your thoughts." I guiltily lowered my head "but since your hypothalamus had decided to overpower that annoying trait of yours explaining things to you became easier"
"ah, how powerful love is that it even cured your stupidity" I gave Kana a glare
I sighed "I can't help but thought that way, what can I do I'm a fan of Kira Kira no Love Story plus I'm a fan of Ryuuji and Monique that when I reincarnated as Catherine, being a fan, I had the urge to ensure that they end up together. The author's portrayal of Catherine's vileness and the couple's love story is just to formidable" Kana suddenly spluttered her drink. "are you okay?"
"ah....Catherine, about that" I gave Kana a weird look when she look at me with guilt in her eyes, when I look at Rin she had a knowing look in her eyes while looking at Kana
"what's going on?" I asked nervously as a weird air envelops us three. The way Rin and Kana look screams odd
"you see" I frowned when Kana started fidgeting on her seat "that Kira Kira no love story, you know how I have been your friend for a long time and that you're a fan of the manga and the author and that I was just thinking that you know....."
"Kana, get straight to the point!"
"I created it" I look at Kana in shock when I heard her
"you did what?!" I can't help but raise my voice when her words sunk in
"I created Kira Kira no love story, I was the one behind it"
"are you kidding me? Rin ca—" my words ended up stuck in my mouth when I saw how serious Rin is. I look at the two of them as the feeling of betrayal slowly creeps in me "y-you knew?" I asked Rin while praying that she would say no but when she nodded it feels like tons of bricks had fallen on my head.
"I did not know that she was the one who created it but I know that the story came from her" Rin's words were too confusing so I sought Kana for clarification.
"how? You were bed ridden! Auntie would never have consented to it"
"I wrote the story, while mother look for an artist. The room next door to me were remodeled to be the artist's office together with her assistant. Using monitors and microphones I was able to monitor them."
"but you....you were only thirteen back then"
"Catherine, would believe me if I told you that right now I'm already more than a thousand years old?"
That day we ended up skipping class. Kana used the whole day to tell me what she meant by her statement. I listen to both her and Rin's story while trying to keep my mind sane throughout the whole day. her explanation, at most would've earned an are you crazy! Statement from me but the fact that I reincarnated in this world would just make my statement useless. I don't know what kind of struggles she had experienced or what kind of worlds she had seen but the expression of her eyes despite her smiles had told me enough of her experience.
Everything is still sinking in me, the information are still being processed by my brain, my emotions are still in turmoil and I'm afraid that I'm standing inside the borderline of insanity and sanity after hearing the two of them. I was not prepared but I guess preparation would not still prepare me for such information. It is not my time to tell their story but I know that what they've told me is just the tip of the iceberg. The two of my friends are keeping secrets, secrets that I don't want to forcefully pry from them. I will wait for the time that the two of them will tell it to me, I will wait patiently.
This past few days had been a day of revelation, understanding and acceptance. My feeling to Ryuuji, the knowledge of this world and its secret together with my friends secret had been bundled up in this one big boulder of rock that straight away smacked me right in the face rendering me defenseless.
It is not even surprising that, that night after our conversation I ended up having a fever. The shock was just too much, the information too overwhelming.
"you're awake how are you feeling" I look at brother with a start when I saw him putting a cool fever on my forehead. Somehow a sense of déjà vu arose in me. it feels like the time when I recovered my memories. The sudden onslaught of information had also rendered me feverish for more than a day and it was brother then who took care me. now, as I look at my brother, familial love slowly spread in me. this guy is my brother, she was not Catherine's but my brother. I was not Camille anymore, I am now Catherine. My family back when I was still Camille would forever remain in my heart but now I AM CATHERINE AND THEY ARE MY FAMILY AND THIS IS MY WORLD AND MY OWN STORY.
?tF