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Beauty and the Beast
***
Camila Cabello - Never Be the Same
The Bloodlust Alpha
"I feel something for you."
Raizel whispers into my ear as he dips me down. His hand holds my waist firmly so that I don't fall but we never break eye contact in the midst of it all. Everything behind him went a blur. My breathing circulation cuts off from his sudden revelation, putting into words his view of me.
"I know that I need you, Selene. But the question is-"
He pulls me back up, my chest pressing flat against his, thus eliminating any space between us. His heart pounding with mine intertwining into one whole beat. The rhythmic dancing of our hearts making us one in a way I didn't know possible. The hand that held my waist was still there as he squeezed the patch of exposed skin on my back. I repress a gasp when his other hand that once held onto mine delicately ran over my fabric cladded hip to the slit of my dress. He lightly caressed my bare thigh with his hot, slim fingers.
I tremble in his hold as the very same fingers soar higher and higher up my leg, getting impossibly closer to the band of my underwear. His dark eyes flooded with carnal desire as he stopped his fingers just mere centimeters from the lace. Goosebumps pecked my skin from where his touch mapped out. Trails of his presence marked invisibly on my body in the form of his scent.
Then suddenly, he curls his fingers, urging my leg to wrap around his waist. And mindlessly, I do. It doesn't occur to me the kind of position we were throwing ourselves in. Or the fact that we had an audience who fell witness to our hypnotic daze to one another. My leg hooks around his hips, my heat shamelessly rubbing against him. It took us a moment to understand the gratification of the dangers that little gesture posed.
The kind of temptation it derived from our souls.
Sparks, tingles, pure satisfaction from his hips grinding against mine shock through my veins. I hold back a groan as we simultaneously shudder from the contact. My effect on him just as extensive as his effect on me. His grip on my hip got tighter with the clench of his jaw.
"do you want me just as much?"
He asks, nudging my forehead against his. He abandoned the lust so clearly hazing his eyes just moments ago. All my thoughts of protesting being tossed in the deeper crevices of my mind. Where the hell did my will go? Where was the fire that urged me to stay away from Raizel? The logical thinking that told me this was not going to work? That there was too many at stake?
It ceased to matter the moment he came in.
I inwardly groan at the inner voice in my head. My logical and instinctive sides clashing with one another at the situation at hand. My wolf was going crazy as she ran around in circles. The adrenaline pumping inside both she and I, overexciting her. She was more than supportive on what was going on right now. She was practically living for this moment. Though I should feel wrong, I don't.
Its not my words that ring inside my head, it's Williams' and Elizabeth's words that circled through my mind.
If I want him, take him.
Raizel had no mate and apparently it wasn't bad of me to claim him. But something in his tone and the way he said these words made me uneasy. Like they were hiding something much bigger than what they let on. I knew they did, but I had not a single clue as to what.
I wanted this man.
I felt my desire for him in every atom composing my body.
Every single thought of mine revolved around him and what it would feel like to have him.
"You're playing a dangerous game, Raizel."
My leg unwraps around him, but he keeps me close. His hands hover near my waist.
I breathe out hoarsely, finding my grip around him. My hands flattened and smoothing his chest, running up slowly and sensually until they reached the curve of his shoulders. The softness of the fabric binding his body feeling silky under my touch. Gently, I slid my hands along the shape of his shoulders until they wove around his neck. His lips twitched, his fingers digging into my sides.
Raizel breathes in sharply, a slight groan rumbling from his chest as my fingers started playing with his hair. The locks I've been dying to twist my fingers in, tangled around my digits. Purposely scraping my nails on the back of his neck, he gave me a sensuous look. A look full of allurement and challenge.
He took comfort in my playfulness, leaning his head further into my nimble fingers tugging at his roots.
"There is no game, Selene."
He stares at me seriously. The fire and torment hidden in those gorgeous perceptible eyes focused entirely on me. No hint of humor lurking in his demeanor.
"There's only you and I."
Taking one of my hands from his neck, he kisses the inside of my palm. His eyes fluttering shut with his long lashes casting shadows over his cheekbones. The smooth skin almost glowing under the bright lights of the chandelier above us. His lips grazed along my wrist. Kisses upon kisses trailing up as he mutters the next few words onto my skin like an invisible, tatted promise.
"-but that's only if you want me."
His grey eyes snapped open, lips still attached to my wrist as he began to sway us once more. He was giving me a choice. Giving me a chance to back out of all this. Or was he? I feel a laugh pushing from my stomach. No, that's not right. The sensual and erotic air around him told me he really wasn't giving me a choice.
He just wanted me to admit to it.
He wanted me to admit to the gravitation bringing us together.
The animalistic attraction weaving our fates.
"Aren't you honest?"
I muse, a small smirk on my face. No matter how much I tried to front, my hands trembled from excitement. Any second now I felt like my legs would give in. Raizel mirrors my expression, sporting his own signature smirk as he smoothens his hand over my thigh. I shiver under his warmth. The tease of his body language spurring my inner minx to take over.
"I just know what I want."
He retorts shrugging. The slight provocation form his tone sending delightful tingles in my abdomen. His face softened, eyes staring deeply into mine as he rolls his bottom lip in-between his teeth. He looks nervous now, the previous show of confidence dissipating in its stead.
"I can't explain this intense attraction to you. And I won't deny you of what you want. We don't have to go straight to a relationship. I'll wait for you. Be it months or years from now. I don't want to rush you, but I want your permission. Give me permission to court you. Allow me to show you how how much I want this; us. Give me one chance, that's all I'm asking for. Just say the words... and I'll be yours."
The answer should've been a blatant 'no'. After everything that happened in my life, romance was not part of my to-do list. Maybe in the future but not now. So why couldn't I say that? I know that now is not the time to get side tracked, now is not the time to think of fairytale endings, glitter and rainbows. Now is not the time to get distracted.
So why was I hesitating?
Why was I hesitating for a man I had just gotten to know?
Why couldn't I move my lips to utter that one syllable, two letter word that would inevitably cut Raizel from my life?
Things would be so much more simpler if I just ended it all now. These abrupt feelings of mine would surely fade into nothingness after some time. Landon didn't want me, my parents didn't want me, but for some reason Raizel does?
Landon, my destined, was capable of inflicting the utmost pain.
The destined meant to care and love me for eternity.
Would Raizel be any different?
A complete stranger?
He wasn't my mate nor was he my friend. If it had been anyone else other than him, their intentions would surely be clear. Had someone else said these exact words, it would come across as a lie; a ploy to get me into bed. Only, it was Raizel who said these things. Raizel who had not been with a woman (publicly) since his time as Alpha. Raizel who was the most respected, most powerful of us all. Raizel who usually didn't eat at the table in the morning. Raizel who never attended the Gala up until this year.
Raizel who bluntly admitted to feeling attracted to me.
I should let him go.
In fact, he should never be close enough that I have to 'let go' of him.
But I didn't want that. I was afraid of that happening. How could I tell him I didn't want him when his eyes held me captive and incapable of lying to his face? How could I ever deny him when my attraction to him was written on my face? My wolf was attached to him, hell, so was I. These feelings that shouldn't be there in the first place ache for him. Scream at me to take his offer.
It told me to bet on him.
So I did something crazy.
I did something out of my element. I did something I know the Moon Goddess will hate me more for. I did something that would surely lock our fates together but I did it with every intention of keeping him.
I wanted this man with everything I had.
Was it just lust induced?
Possibly.
Would I regret it?
More than likely.
But would I deny it any more than I already did?
No.
I pull him tighter against me, my lips grazing his ear as ripples of pleasure ran down him. His large hands cupping my hips so tightly I know that bruises in the shape of his hands would be left there. I pressed my chest onto him. His breathing quickened, body taut with restraint as he stood wordlessly. His piercing dark eyes watching every little move I made. My hands held either side of his face, my thumbs soothingly running across his cheekbones while he stared down at me.
"You have my permission."
I tell him quietly.
And the moment I said those four words, the darkness in his gaze lightened and dilated with his eyes. For a brief, fleeting second a smile almost breaks across his face but he drops his head to my shoulder before it could. His feelings of joy surfacing to my wolf as she yipped in his elation.
"I'm a selfish man, Selene. I don't take to sharing. When I say I want you; I mean all of you. Mind, Body, Soul"
He lifts his head up, gently raising his hand to caress my cheek,
"-Heart."
My chest tightened, my wolf sighing out as she stared at him dreamily. Tail slowly swishing from side to side as she sat on her hind legs. For a cold blooded killer, he sure had a way with words. He turned me around so that my back met his chest. His hand trailed down across my stomach to grip onto the other side of my hip. I smiled, feeling his head rest on my shoulder.
"Does this go both ways?"
I ask breathlessly, trailing my hand to the nape of his neck. My fingers once more finding themselves tangling in his soft hair.
"Because frankly, I don't share either."
I feel him smile and a rumble of soft laughter leaves his chest heaving up and down.
"If I had you, I'd have all I could ever want and need."
Well.
That went straight between my legs.
"Then I'm glad we're on the same page."
I tell him, pulling away slightly so that I could look at him.
"Prepare yourself, my little wildflower. When I put my mind to something, I don't stop until I get it. And if there's one thing I'm sure of"
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear,
"-it's that I have no intention of ever letting you go."
I almost don't hear him. The music comes to a stop and everyone begins to bow to their partners. Letting go of my hold on him, I take one last look at his chiseled face looking intently at me. The sigh of contentment almost passing through my lips at the pure bliss I felt just from feeling him this close. Dark eyes half lidded with his expression going soft, narrow down at me. All sorts of emotions swirling in his eyes but the most intense being his affection.
"I'm looking forward to it."
I smile, meaning every single word, and stepped back from his hold a few steps backwards before turning. I leave him behind gazing at me with a growing lopsided grin. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.
This wasn't over.
It was far from it.
He knew that and I knew that.
My heels clicked against the marble with my head held high and my back straight as I strode over to Mailia and Noah. The prying gazes of the other wolves cutting into my skin but I don't take notice of it. Ignorance was bliss when you have an ex-mate staring down at you like a hawk circling its prey with his body emanating ferocious anger. Not to mention, a very smug looking Chancellor and pale-to-nearly-passing-out adoptive mother straining to keep herself up.
Meredith was definitely going to ask questions.
But for now, I settled with the task at hand.
Noah and Mailia stood at the buffet table, Noah hanging his arm loosely around Mailia's waist. She had her arms across her chest, looking smug but Noah looked less than pleased. His usual chirpy atmosphere gone sour like the lemon slice on the rim of the cup he was holding. He was frowning, a slight wrinkle marring his forehead as he pouted at the floor. I rose a brow at the strangeness of his attitude and that's when my attention drifted to the man beside him. It was Raizel's Beta who I didn't see walk in with him.
Tall, slightly smirking, emitting waves of playfulness with a messy mop of blonde hair on his head.
He bowed in acknowledgement when I reached them to which I nodded in his direction. His brown eyes shifted to Noah and for a split second, he grimaced with the pull of his upper lip before giving me his full attention. The look of distaste replaced with a genuine, warm smile.
"Alpha Crestfield, you look stunning tonight. Im sure my Alpha who just couldn't take his hands off you would agree. I'm Weston Creed, Beta of the Ignis Red pack under Alpha Locksworth."
He says, flashing me a gentle smile. I return his gesture and thank him, choosing not to comment on the 'couldn't keep his hands off you' part. I was wondering why those two look so uncomfortable with each other. Noah who was standing stiff and clearly aggravated deepened his pout as he stared at me. Okay then... Weston moves to give me his hand but flinches halfway, immediately withdrawing his hand back to his side like he'd been burned. His eyes flash darker and I knew he was communicating with Raizel.
My eyebrows scrunched together but I don't question him and instead watched as Weston looked up to peer behind me. His eyes catch sight of something and I see a teasing smile twitch.
Undoubtedly, he was looking at his Alpha.
"Unfortunately, my Alpha is being a territorial prick and we are to take our leave before single she-wolves decide that a Locksworth and Weston gourmet is on the menu. I wish you a good night, Alpha Crestfield, Mailia"
He turns to his right and doesn't see the blush coating my cheeks to look at Noah and sighs in boredom,
"-Nate."
Nate?
The mischievous gleam in his eyes are there. I struggle to hold in a laugh with his intentional mistake. Noah glaring at Weston with no restraint. Returning his gaze on me, Weston's expression grows serious as he looks at me with what seemed like a glimmer hope. His lips pressed together in desperation as he mumbles,
"I sincerely hope to see you again."
"I'm sure we will."
I turn over my shoulder to look at Raizel who was now beginning to be surrounded by other wolves. His eyes fixed on me as he ignored the people around him trying to desperately catch his attention.
"I'm certain of that."
And for a second a bright smile crosses Weston's face but he quickly wipes it away before going off to tend to his Alpha. I'm sure if Raizel was left alone with those pesky inquisitive wolves, he would've lost his temper and probably thrown one of them across the ballroom. Chancellor Williams who'd been watching from the sidelines walked up to Raizel, saying things I couldn't hear from over the music even with my enhanced hearing. I try to read their lips and I manage to make out what Williams was saying.
Are you already taking your leave?
My gaze shifts to Raizel.
Yes, I got what I came for.
His eyes meet mine and he smirks. My lips twitch to follow his lead and soon my own smirk rests on my face as I shake my head in amusement. My blood goes hot, cheeks flaming red from his words. I don't look to watch Raizel tear himself away from the wolves' greedy clutches. The sound of his foot steps slowly disappearing along with Weston's and a few murmurs coming from the crowd. And like a fog, everyone disperses the moment he stepped foot outside.
Williams looks at me, eyebrow raised and a look of disbelief plastered on his face. He walks my way, no doubt ready to fire off some questions when I beat him to it,
"I'll be taking my leave."
I tell him, ignoring the look of surprise on his face. Pulling on his suit jacket, he composed himself with a cough.
"This early? I'm sure you haven't met everyone yet."
I shrug and briefly look over his shoulder to see a group of wolves looking at me,
"I got what I came for. Well, maybe a little more than what I intended."
A look of realization dawns his face. A small smile playing on his lips. He nods slowly, looking to Meredith who was downing a bottle of wine with Elizabeth trying to pry it off her fingers.
"Then I suggest you leave now before the wicked witch of the west decides to make an appearance and question your ear off."
"I heard that!"
We ignore Meredith's outburst and smile at each other.
"Enjoy the rest of your evening Selene. As much as I would love to show you off in front of all these Alphas, I'm sure someone else can fill in and do that for me in the near future."
The twinkle in his eyes glimmered under the light.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Williams. This is only a trial."
He rolls his eyes at my words. He intertwined his fingers together and folded it loosely at his front.
"There's no such things as a trial in Locksworth's dictionary. If he set his eyes on you, it would be in your best interest to believe it will only ever be you."
My heart fluttered but I don't show the effects of his words on my face. I don't allow him to see the satisfaction I felt from knowing that.
"Goodnight Chancellor."
He reaches out and hugs me tight.
"Goodnight Selene."
When we pull away, he lovingly cups the back of my neck and nuzzles his forehead against mine. My wolf happy from Williams' approval. I walk away with my spirits high, Mailia and Noah right behind me as we strode out the exit. The numerous pairs of eyes staring down at us as we walked intensifying until we got out of the exit. Noah who had been strangely quiet let's out a huge breath and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Well shit, man. I thought I was gonna die from everyone staring at us like that. Made me feel like a celebrity with the latest cheating scandal."
He shakes his head with the puff of his cheeks,
"Remind me never to give you any Gala invitations ever again."
I chuckle softly, watching Mailia comfort him by running her hand soothingly down his arm. Walking down the marble hallway, Noah lets out an exhausted sigh and I remember the tension between him and Weston. The kind of tension i could never expect from two playful men.
I look at him questiongingly and he raised a brow,
"What?"
"What was with you and Raizel's Beta? Weston?"
The moment he hears that name, he frowns and looks annoyed.
"I don't like him."
He mumbles with a pout.
"But he seems to act just like you."
Noah's frown deepened as he looked at me.
"Exactly."
This time I laugh when Mailia kisses his cheek in attempt to lift his mood in which his face scrunches up. The good mood doesn't last long however, because a strong scent filters in my nostrils. I shiver is revulsion. My body rejecting his presence with everything inside me.
Landon.
My wolf who'd been excitedly swaying her tail and barking out froze before snorting, laying down on her belly and watched with little to no interest when she saw our ex-mate. I sigh, turning around to find him standing there alone. Body heaving up and down with his outer appearance looking disheveled. His dark hair messy from the amount of times he must've ran his fingers through them.
He stared at me with narrow, feral eyes. Fury lacing his stance as the veins on his neck popped out. His apparent anger rolled off of him, making Mailia flinch as Noah shielded her body with his. His wolf didn't like the threat he felt imposing on us, trying to take over his body in order to protect both his mate and Alpha.
"Noah, take Mailia and get in the van. I'll be right there."
Landon's gaze never strayed away from me even when Noah reluctantly pulled Mailia into his chest and led her out. He knew better than to protest when an angry near-to-shifting Alpha was involved. Their footsteps soon silenced into nothingness, leaving Landon and I staring at each other under the heavy cloud of tension. I crossed my arms over my chest.
Faint sounds of chattering could be heard but the one thing resounding from between us is the low snarl gritting out from his teeth. His narrowed eyes glared down at me. With an aggravated expression he begins to stalk toward me with the look of pure determination on his face.
"What the fuck was that, Selene?"
My own glare mirrored his, anger surfacing from my wolf. My arms fell to my sides as I clenched my jaw. My wolf resented his anger at us and snarled viciously. Red eyes cutting into him but he's unfazed. In fact, he doesn't even take notice of the amount of power I'm emitting out. He's too engulfed in his own emotions to notice the danger he was in.
"Mind the way you speak to me, Alpha Walker. I don't take to disrespect."
He flinched from my tone, a flash of hurt in his gaze but it quickly disappeared. His anger once again making its appearance. He saw me as a mate first before an Alpha. A mate he shouldn't ever consider me as.
"What is going on between you and Locksworth?"
He deadpanned. His clenched fists shaking from his emotions. It took one wrong thing to say to make him snap from his self restraint. His wolf was going crazy, surely trying to urge him to mark me. The idea of another man taking his place putting him in a frenzy.
"I don't see where my relationship with Raizel is of your concern."
His eyes widened before his glaring came back full force,
"You call him by his first name?"
Shit.
"Like I said, it's not your concern."
I bit back roughly. There was a slight redness in my cheeks. A redness he very clearly didn't like.
"Bullshit!"
His fist crashed against the wall, a dent with the size of his fist imprinted on the marble. His harsh, deep voice echoing down the hall until it bounced off the walls and rang back to me. His outburst would've scared anyone under the Alpha position, but it mostly annoyed me more than anything. Fear was never an option when dealing with Landon. He could throw tantrums all he wants, but nothing he could do would ever make me submit.
"You're my mate! Anything you do is of my concern!"
He grounds out, teeth violently clenching against each other. Thick streams of rage flowed through my veins. My wolf begging me to let her loose and allow her to inflict her fury on him but I refrained. I don't let him see how much his words affect me and instead I smile.
I smiled so sickeningly sweet even i was surprised.
"It didn't seem to concern you when you chose my sister, nor did it concern you when I was dying in Duskfall."
For the first time since he got here, he was speechless. His mouth flew open to retort but it closed when he knew he couldnt say anything back. The fire in his eyes diminished and guilt struck him like a nerve. His wolf had went quiet with nothing in his defense.
"That was... it was all in the past. We can move on from that."
He reasoned, his voice weak and almost pleading. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at his audacity.
"There's nothing to move on from. I'm pretty sure I made this clear."
A hurricane of footsteps were heading our direction. Soon three people came into view and they were none of there than my sister, mother and father. All of which were panting and sweating from looking for him. My eyes shifted to them and I could see the surprise in their faces. My mother looked at me like I was some ghost, her shaking hand covering her mouth as she openly stared at me. Hestia who stood in front of them looked at me with remorse. So much remorse it almost made me laugh.
Benicio who'd been the one to stay hardened, now stared quietly in the sides. Nothing to say or do. Once my study of them ended, I looked back to Landon.
"You and I are nothing. We were nothing since the moment we found out we were mates. We were nothing since I supposedly died. We were nothing when I came back from the grave and took my place as Alpha. We are nothing, Landon. That's all we'll ever be. So do us both a favor and quit your nonsense. It's getting quite annoying."
I watch his face twist in agony. His adam's apple bobbing as he took in my words and looked to the ground. The face that was responsible for so much of my pain now mirroring a tenth of the pain I felt. But was it enough? No. Did I feel the tiniest bit guilty? No.
"It was a mistake."
He mutters lowly.
"The rejection was a mistake."
His words leave a haunting echo in my mind. The words I never thought I'd hear from him. I laugh, throwing my head back as the four stared at me. They didn't understand what I found funny about this situation. If anything, they expected me to feel sorrow and pity for him. Pity that I didn't owe him. Tilting my head to the side I nodded in agreement.
"Yes, it was a mistake. The bond was a mistake. You said it yourself, Landon. The Moon Goddess made a mistake of pairing us together."
His dark eyes flashed with outrage as his temper flared. His wolf unhappy with my denial of our bond. The denial of our bond seen as a gesture of disrespect toward him.
"It's not a mistake!"
He stepped closer to me until we were within each other's grasp,
"You must be joking! Our fates are with each other, Selene! No one could ever come between that! Not Hestia and certainly not Locksworth!"
He seethed venomously. I glare at him. Holding my ground as I push back just as viciously,
"You have a mate-- a Luna, a wife. A pregnant wife."
He swallowed and thinned his lips together. The mention of his unborn pup putting him into halt.
"She isn't my mate."
I cock a brow at his reasoning.
"Didn't seem to matter to you before."
His face scrunched up in frustration. Knowing he couldnt retort with anything. Knowing that I was right and he was wrong. Eyebrows knit together with a frown on his face. His hardened gaze softened as he said softly,
"You still care for me. You dont hate me, I know that for a fact. If you did we wouldn't be having a civil conversation. You would've wanted to kill me since first seeing me. Our pull can never be erased. Don't worry, I want this as much as you do. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone wants their mate. You're just confusing your feelings for Locksworth. It's not real."
I snarled, my wolf taking the reign of control for a split second before shoving her back in my head. He was delusional. Landon stumbled back, unsuspecting of my aggression. His eyes widened as he stared at me in shock. Then the shock soon wore off and in place of it was disbelief with a mix of betrayal.
"I don't believe I stuttered when I said we're nothing together. And I most certainly do not 'joke' with the likes of you. I may not be lunging at you with the intention to kill any moment I see you, but don't misunderstand. It doesn't mean I care about you. It means I have enough self respect to not make a fool of myself by acting like a scorned ex-girlfriend. You taught me that not everyone wants their mate."
I shrugged,
"You didn't"
Landon flinched, eyes darting to the side before meeting mine again. Guilt ridden, he stood stiffly.
"-and I most certainly don't want you either."
Landon said nothing, his determination dwindling as my words sunk in. Stepping up beside him was my father. My father clenched his jaw, looking ready to intervene. My mother wrapped her hands around his arm, urging him with her eyes not to say anything but he ignored her. He pulled his arm away from her hold and narrowed his eyes at me,
"Selene, you're not thinking straight. This is the best option for you. I won't let you ruin the pack because of past mistakes-"
"Keep quiet Beta."
I snap, narrowing my eyes at him. A harsh bite in the tone as my wolf peeked out.
"I didn't ask for your input."
The Alpha command prevented him from speaking. His jaw tightened with his fists shaking from his anger. But his wolf stopped him from doing anything rash.
"I'm getting tired of this, Alpha Walker. I don't like to repeat myself. Let this be the last time we ever have this discussion. Your pregnant wife surely wouldn't want to be hearing this either, I'm sure."
I glance at Hestia who looked away from me. With a small laugh I shake my head. Turning, I began to walk toward the same direction Noah and Mailia fled to. I stopped just when I reached the doorway and looked over my shoulder,
"Oh, and congratulations on the pup."
I left without another word. My wolf snorting in annoyance before laying down on her paws. Her ruffled fur smoothened out and the snarl viciously tearing from her lips silenced.
The nerve of that man.
The pure disgust I felt for him pulsating through my veins. I had planned on keeping my composure but then he just had to push my buttons with his delusions of me wanting him. What's more, he wants me to move on from the past and act as if he and my family hadn't forcibly kicked me out of the pack against my will. That they hadn't ordered me to reject Landon for the sake of his relationship with Hestia. That they didn't send me to my death by bringing me to Duskfall.
That they weren't responsible for the obliteration of an entire pack.
That they weren't responsible for the death of my pup.
Red, hot fury boiling my blood. I would never forget. I couldn't even if I wanted to. The feeling of Lila's soft breath on my chest when she was whimpering while she held onto me. The feel of her small body shivering in my embrace. The wet blotches of tears soaking into my shirt.
The feeling of utter helplessness when I couldn't even reach out to touch her.
Everything.
How could I ever forget any of that when all I see and feel when I look at Landon is that.
"Alpha, are you okay?"
I look up to find Mailia breaking away from Noah to approach me. With a concerned look on her face, she frowned seeing my expression.
"Did he say something?"
I shake my head and waved my hand in the air. The two had gotten a feel of my emotions in our bond. I knew they felt my displeasure and from the way they stood, I had a feeling they knew what it was about.
"Nothing you should worry about. It was all pointless talk."
She nodded but I saw the spark of suspicion in her gaze. Noah, who had stepped behind her raised a questioning brow.
Later.
I told him.
He gave me a brief nod before looking to where the van pulled up. Pulling the van door open, he moved aside for me to enter with Mailia following suit. Landon's words ringing in my head as I dazed off looking out the window. Every time I remembered what he said, my blood boiled uncomfortably. Each and every time, my anger doubling compared to before. His words left a bitter taste in my mouth/
A bitter taste I had desperately wanted to rinse out and get rid of.
It had gotten to the point I felt my claws extending without my knowledge. It was only when I felt something warm and wet dripping down my hand that I noticed I pierced into my own skin. I was sure the two sitting across from me had noticed. I was positive they did.
But they chose not to say anything.
They allowed me to handle my anger and let me attempt to cool myself down.
Not that I was really doing a good job at it.
I sighed, closing my eyes and let out deep breaths. My heartbeat finally calming into a steady, repetitive rhythm. Raizel's face flashed in my mind and an involuntary smile spread softly. He was like a breath of fresh air. His words and presence only ever leaving me in fulfillment.
Give me permission to court you. Allow me to show you how how much I want this; us. Give me one chance, that's all I'm asking for. Just say the words... and I'll be yours
My eyes fluttered open from his words.
Mine.
For the first time, I would have someone I could call mine.
***
"What happened next?"
I turn my head to look at Noah whose eyes are wide and his hands gripping onto the arm rests. He leaned forward, unblinking as he chewed on his bottom lip. We had been talking about what happened with Raizel for the past hour. I was recounting everything from detail to detail.
"And then I left."
Noah let out a sound of devastated disappointment and slumped onto the cushions of the couch. Pouting while throwing his hands in the air he shook his head.
"You can't just leave."
I laugh,
"I can't?"
"Of course not! You should've swayed your hips! Twirled your hair! You should've even bent down to 'tie' your shoes and tease him!"
Noah exclaimed exasperatedly. I give him a look, taking the bottle of whiskey and pouring myself a cup.
"Noah, I was wearing heels."
He thins his lips and begrudgingly grumbles under his breath.
"He wouldn't have been looking at your shoes either way..."
I smile with the shake of my head before sipping on my drink. The cool glass cooling the skin on my fingers as the ice melted.
"So what? You and Locksworth are in some kind of mutual agreement? You two are all everyone is talking about since the Gala yesterday. The whispering, the dancing, the intimate touches, the kisses-"
Noah leans even closer until he's right by my ear and looks to his left and right even when we're all alone in my office.
"...the wandering hand on your thigh."
He whispers.
I laugh wholeheartedly and nod. My wolf laying on her side while she lazily watched him in amusement. My wolf had taken a liking to Noah. He was like a brother to me, granted we now shared a close bond unlike the other members of the pack. He and Isaac were like her siblings. She grew to care for them in a sisterly and occasionally, motherly way.
"Oh yes, how could I forget? The wandering hand."
I muse.
Noah nods but before he could say anything there came a stream of knocks -more like bangs- at the door. I sigh, feeling Merediths presence and growing excitement radiate from the wood separating us. Noah turns his head to look at the door before slowly returning his gaze to me.
I pray for you.
He mouths.
Rolling my eyes, I got up from the couch opposite of Noah and took a seat at my desk.
"Come in."
Meredith, in her gray slacks and a white loose blouse, burst through the door and made a beeline toward me. She slammed her hands flat against the desk with a shit eating grin plastered on her face growing impossibly quick.
"When were you going to tell me about you and Alpha Locksworth?"
I feign ignorance and rose a brow.
"What ever do you mean?"
She narrowed her gaze, pushing herself off my desk and crossed her arms. Noah, who sat behind her drank his whiskey, giving me a side glance just screaming with amusement. He was thoroughly enjoying the show.
"Don't act coy with me, Selene. I know those looks Alpha Locksworth was giving you. Kit used to look at me like that all the time."
She lets out a wistful sigh.
"So, you two just fucking or is it serious?"
Noah splutters on his drink, coughing violently as he wiped his mouth of the whiskey he spilled all over his shirt. Pulling on his shirt to stop it from clinging onto his chest, he sheepishly looks up at us with reddened cheeks.
"I think she asked you a question, Alpha."
Gee, thanks Noah.
I appreciate it.
"No, Meredith. Raizel and I are not in that kind of relationship."
I deadpan, sitting back against my chair. She nods with understanding even with the slight skepticism in her expression.
"So if you aren't in that kind of relationship, what kind of relationship are you in?"
"There's no relationship-"
"Not yet!"
Noah, oh so gracefully pitches in while struggling to dry off his shirt.
I shoot him a glare but it was cut off from Meredith's high pitched squealing. She jumped up and down, clapping her hands joyfully before holding her face between her hands.
"Oh Selene! I'm so happy for you! When Elizabeth called me and told me about you two in the woods doing the do, I was almost about to call James and tell him to get her checked! Hell, I thought Alpha Locksworth was out there murdering you but this is even better!"
I blinked at her wordlessly and slowly parted my lips.
"You and Elizabeth... gossiped about me?"
Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Of course we did, hon. Did you really think us ladies wouldn't be talking about this beauty and the beast like romance between you too? This is way better than talking about boring old rogue this and rogue that! I'm not getting younger, Selene. I need some spice in my life."
Noah snorted in the back.
"Beauty and the Beast? More like Beast and the Beast."
He looked up at the ceiling and grins.
"The Bloodlust Alpha and the Hellhound. They'll likely go hunt rogues on a killing massacre before you could find them dancing in the library singing duets together. If that's not goals, I don't know what is. That's modern day love right there."
"Oh? I'll make note to tell Mailia that on your next date, she should bring you to the rogue borders. In fact, I'll do it now."
Noah paled, swallowing as he shook his head. He let out a nervous chuckle.
"No need Alpha. You wouldn't want a dead Beta, would you? Dead Beta's don't work efficiently. They aren't even fun. They're always under the weather.... six feet under to be exact... and in the ... ground."
He mumbled.
I grinned victoriously with a hum.
"Good point..."
I looked at him straight in the eyes.
"Nate."
He scowled from the name, crossing his arms. He muttered to himself before saying,
"You know what, just call her. End my misery."
I was about to retort but Meredith clearing her throat stopped me. I looked at her and found the slight frown on her face with a cocked brow.
"Don't think you're getting out of this."
She sat in the couch I was previously sitting at. She crossed her legs, and titled her head to the side.
"So?"
With a reluctant breath, I nodded to her expense.
"We aren't together... but that doesn't mean we won't ever be."
I tell her. She smiles and again starts sqeauling.
"Oh Goddess, I have to go to the shrine and bring some offerings. She finally heard and answered my prayers for grandpups-"
"Woah there Meredith, slow down.Nothing is confirmed. You and Williams need to calm down. You act as if everything is set into motion."
Meredith scoffed as she looked at Noah. He returned her look of disbelief and passed me one of his own.
"Darling, I'm afraid you're being naive. Alpha Locksworth is not one to mindlessly date. You're not one to mindlessly date. I doubt you're only doing this on a whim. How many marriage proposals have you denied? How many suitors? Sweetheart, you never so much as looked at a guy a second longer than you had to. And now you're telling me you're doing a trial with the Bloodlust Alpha?"
A smug look passes on her face.
"You aren't fooling anyone."
I felt my cheeks heat up. Yes, I had marriage proposals in the past but they were all for politics. Some had wanted to breed for the strongest pups and to merge our packs but I wasn't interested. There were a few that genuinely seemed interested after meeting but I had no desire to partake in any romantic involvement.
I guess Raizel truly was the exception.
"That's not all Ms. Crestfield."
I snap my head toward Noah who easily avoids my gaze.
"Alpha Locksworth has decided to court her. Old fashion style. Asked her for permission and everything."
I curse him in my head, already feeling my fists balling up. Leave it to my Beta to be the one leaking information like that. Meredith looks at me with widened eyes before she parts her lips in shock.
"He's courting you?"
She repeats in disbelief.
When I don't answer, she sighs dreamily and rubs her cheeks vigorously.
"You can't tell me you feel nothing for a man who actually has some decency in him."
She looks pointedly at me and every passing second I feel her eyes burning hotter and hotter.
"Okay, fine. My wolf likes him and for some strange reason, I do too. There's just this weird sense of magnetism between us. Not long after meeting each other, I felt so drawn to him. I had-"
I glanced over to Noah and cleared my throat in embarrassment,
"dreams about him. I don't know, it just seems so strange. I've never felt like this. Not even with Landon."
Meredith's face scrunched up together. Her interest piqued with a growing desire to find answers.
"Your wolf likes him?"
I nod and let out a strangled breath. My wolf was feeling overly elated just thinking about him.
"So much that every time she comes in a ten foot radius of him, she starts freaking out and demands me to go to him. I need to keep her on a tight leash or else I'm worried she'll take over and lick his face while in my human form."
"Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't mind that-"
"Shut it, Nate."
Noah pouts again at me but keeps quiet.
"So even your wolf is infatuated with him. I always knew your wolf was different from how detached she acted with Walker, but I didn't think she would take to someone else other than her mate. I've never heard of anything like this before. Sure there had been second chance mates, but it was only when both partners had already lost their first mates. And sadly, Walker is still breathing and no one really knows the deal with Alpha Locksworth."
Meredith had this far off look in her eyes. She chewed on her lip.
"I'll talk to Williams and see if he knows anything. I'm sure there has to be an explanation to all this."
She gets up, smoothening her pants. Noah automatically follows her lead and bows in respect. I want to tell her what Williams said, but that would mean prying into Raizel's business without his knowledge. I would much rather hear it from him than other people. Williams probably won't be saying much either.
"Will you be returning to the Capital soon to deal with the rogues?"
Getting up from my chair, I walk around the mahogany table and lean against the side. I give her a nod, pressing the heels of my palms onto the margins of the wood.
"Yes, I will. I couldn't just leave the pack for over a week. I'm here to make sure everything's in place and from the sound of Alpha Woods' praise for Isaac, I'm expecting him to be back sooner than we thought. Maybe in a month of two. I might just wait for him before the real fun begins. Leaving the two in the isolation wards might do some good for their minds. Well, good for me."
Meredith smirked. Her eyes getting a shade darker from her thoughts before flashing me a smile.
"Do leave me some part of the action. More preferably with Xeneron when you catch him."
I return her grin. Her wolf waged its tail, waiting for the chance to seek her revenge.
"You'll be the first to know."
She gives me a wink as she turns to the door with Noah leading her out. She doesn't look over her shoulder when she says,
"I'll hold you to that."
The moment she leaves, Noah closes the door behind her and sighs.
"Guess that means everyone's on board on the Railene train."
I screw my eyebrows together. I know better than to question him, so I just sigh with the shutting of my eyes.
"I'm not even going to comment."
I say, opening my eyes to look at him. He shrugs with a lopsided smile on his face. Jamming his hands in his pockets he leans against the door.
"You'd kill the joy if you did."
Mailia came through the door and knocked him over.
***
"Oh Alpha."
I lift my eyes from the paperwork to see Mailia waltzing in with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. She's humming a soft tune with a dazzling smile on her face.
"There are some flowers for you!"
Immediately, my mood went sour. I return my attention to the paperwork I no longer had interest in reading and sighed. Tapping the ends of my pen on the table, I poke the inside of my cheek with my tongue.
"You know I don't like flowers. Throw them out."
This was the eighteenth bouquet I received since the Gala. All of them came from different packs, some were sent as a congratulatory present and others were sent for more ulterior motives. Everyone knew to throw them out as part of protocol or keep them if they wished.
"But I think you'll want to see this one. A similar one was sent yesterday but was thrown out."
Mailia insists. I frown with flashes of Bentley reappearing in my mind.
"Mailia, take them away-"
"They're wildflowers."
I freeze, stopping the repetitive tapping of my pen on the table. Slowly, I look at her and she swallows before tilting her head down at the flowers. I see the hesitance in her face but she wills herself to keep going. She knows about my distaste for flowers so it must take a lot for her to be standing there insisting me to take it.
"There wasn't a card with the sender's name attached to it."
She mumbled before taking a few steps toward me. Noah must've told her the story. She stopped right in front of my desk before holding out her hands. Waiting for my response, she awkwardly shuffled on her feet.
Finally, she gives in to my silence. Pulling her hands back she says softly,
"If you don't want them, I'll just throw them out-"
"Leave them here."
Mailia's eyebrows shot up.
"Pardon?"
Feigning my indifference, my eyes scan the bolded letters making up words on the paper. My brain can't comprehend what the words on the paper meant. I couldn't even register what I was reading. The only thing I can think of is those flowers and the sender.
"Leave them on the table."
Mailia opens her mouth before closing it and opens it again.
"O-okay then... I'll just... lay them here and uh.... go."
She gently lays the flowers on the table and backs away slowly. I don't miss the small grin she tried hiding before she slipped out the door. The moment the door clicked shut, I drop the papers on the desk and reach for the flowers in arms reach.
A part of me felt reluctant to touch it. The trauma of Bentley's brutal passing always worming itself into my mind whenever I see flowers. But surprisingly, there's no shaking of my hand. No trembling of the fingers. No flashbacks to unwanted memories. Just pure warmth erupting from my sense the moment I touched the blue wrapping cloth around the bouquet.
I pulled the heavy bundle into my arms and smiled.
It was an assortment of all sorts of flowers: Black-eyed Susans, California Poppies, Marsh Marigolds, Godetias, Hepaticas...
All of which had to have been handpicked to be put together.
"Wildflowers, huh?"
I say to myself quietly. I touch the soft petals and feel a thick, comforting emotion overtake my senses. The emotion I feel so strongly for the man who'd been wrecking havoc in my mind.
Adoration.
Clutching the flowers to my chest, I take in their sweet scent. The smell of fresh flowers giving me a wave of serenity unlike no other. I could feel, instead of smell, his scent lingering just barely around the bouquet. His hands wrapped around the very bundle I was holding this instant. I felt connected to him and I couldn't help but think
Perhaps gardening again wouldn't be so bad.
A sharp knock on the door tore me from my thoughts and I straightened up, putting aside the flowers.
"What's the matter?"
I ask, watching as Noah walked in with a hardened look on his face. His body was tense, his neck adorned with veins popping out from his anger. His arms were at his sides but they were trembling under his shirt. His emotions burst through me like a stream and all I could pick up was his unmatched contempt.
"You have a guest."
He asserted gratingly.
I don't have to ask who. I can smell their scent from all the way here and it annoyed me to no end to have their scent mix in with the scent of my home. It felt intruding, almost violating to have to stand their presence but I instead of saying that, i just nodded.
"I can kick h-"
"No, it's okay."
I said strongly.
He looked at me with calculating eyes before nodding stiffly. He disappeared down the corridor without another word or glance. I push my back against the seat. My body going numb as the emotions drumming into my system became unbearable. My wolf howled, pulling on her restraints with her claws extending. The vicious snarls ripping into my mind stirring the balance of stability I managed to maintain.
I ground down on my teeth, hoping it would be enough to withhold my impulse to attack as soon as I would catch sight of this person. The inhuman side of me thirsting for blood beyond my control. A good few minutes went by with nothing but silence. No amount of time and effort was enough to sooth my wolf.
She saw a threat on my territory and believed the intruder's demise a necessity.
Rabid, completely out of control and acting upon high emotions of the need to protect both herself and her people; she was unruly.
Nothing I said would go through her mind.
So I sat there as still as I could. I sat there up until there was that familiar knock on the door with Noah's voice ringing out for permission to enter. I sat still until the door creaked open to reveal a displeased Noah with someone behind him. I sat still until Noah turned to leave before casting me a wary glance. I sat still until the door closed softly and this person stepped closer.
I sat still until I finally spoke, effectively breaking the strain of the silence cloaking over us.
"Luna Hestia Walker, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
***
a/n: hellooooooo my dears, it is I,
MWUWWUHUHUHHHUUHHWHHAHAHHAHAHA
I hate Landon so much and I created him.
Is it too late for him to be a good guy? Is it too late for him to get a second chance?
(*whispers* I think the fuck so)
Anyways, ahhhh guys. I am just so grateful. I have 80k views, 6k votes and 3k comments. This is incredible and it honestly makes me feel so happy to know that all my hard work is paying off. People actually read my story and from the looks if it, like it ish (?) and I can't begin to explain how much more fulfilling it is. It gives me motivation to know that my writing has evolved from like three years ago and I just-
Thank you.
Seriously, thank you so much for reading it.
Each and every one of you are part of what makes my life so much more better. Your heartfelt comments and PM's have motivated me so much from the beginning.
So once again, thank you.
Without all of you, I wouldn't be sitting here so excited to continue telling my story and pursuing my love for writing.
:)