I still felt lethargic as I walked towards my school locker. I had been trying my best not to sleep in class. After going home this morning, I couldn't sleep when the apartment was a mess. Levi spend all the time cleaning up the apartment. How could I just watch in that situation? So instead of sleeping I helped him and by the time we finished, it was already time to go to school. We had both hurried and come to school. I hadn't seen Levi after that since we didn't have many classes which we attended together. I had seen Kyle today but there was no sign of either Ed or Fabi. Kyle told me that they were both feeling sick. It made me feel sad. Just then someone jumped on me from behind. I gave a startled yelp and Daniella giggled.
"You are such a scaredy cat. So, Elliot, did you think over what I said about us?" She asked me and I stared at her uneasily. I didn't know how to say it but I guess I should tell her.
"Danny, actually, things are a bit messy in my life right now. I would like to focus on my friends for now and not get involved in any other relationship." I told her and she pouted.
"Friends..like who?" She asked me.
"Ed, Fabi, Kyle...and..Levi." I said uneasily at the last part.
"Levi? Since when did he become a friend?" She asked me and I winced.
"Danny, I owe a lot to Levi. So, he had become my new friend." I told her uneasily.
"Aw come on. Just because he provided shelter and food you can't say you owe him. I could easily do the same. Atleast put my name as well in the list." She said sulkily.
I smiled at her. "Okay..your name is also in my friend list. I can't be anything else for now." I told her and she sighed.
"I suppose that's okay then." She said as she chewed on her bottom lip. Just then Natalie came up.
"Hey Elliot, how's everything? It's been a while since I talked to you." She said to me. I smiled and nodded at her as I opened my locker. To my horror, a bunch of letters and worms were stuck into my locker. The word "whore" "witch" and "lesbian" was written in different post it notes stuck to the inside of my locker. Several hate notes fell out from the stuffed locker asking me to go away.
"Oh my god!" Natalie squeaked from behind me.
"What the hell? Who did this?" Daniella screamed out to everyone around us. No one answered and I just stared at my locker in shock.
"Let's go and complain to the principal." Natalie told me. Daniella looked at me worriedly. Just then Kyle rushed over to my side.
"What's going on?" He asked me and then looked at my locker with wide eyes.
"I think we should go to the principal and complain." Natalie said again and Daniella agreed. Kyle just looked as shocked as me.
For some reason, I looked around for Levi but couldn't find him among the crowd. I let Natalie and Daniella take me to the principal's room. After a while, he allowed me inside with my friends. My friends told him about what had happened. The principal sighed as he looked at me. He asked Natalie, Daniella and Kyle to wait outside as he talked to me.
"Elliot, I know this must be hard and I totally reprove this kind of activities. People have little tolerance for ones that are different from the norm. It's not your fault and I hope you don't think you are to blame for this. I will find who had done it and take appropriate action. Meanwhile Elliot, I wanted to discuss something with you. I have been getting letters from other parents saying their girls are uncomfortable to share the toilet with you. I have been ignoring it. But since it has come to this, I wanted to ask if you would like to use the boy's toilet." He asked me and I winced.
"I know I might not be the appropriate person to speak to you on this. There is a person who advocates for rights of people like you in our student council. She said she would like to speak to you. I will call her up and ask her to speak to you. You don't have to rush into any decision. Just think over this." He told me and asked me to stay outside.
Kyle asked me what happened and everyone looked at me for my answer. "He said he would deal with the people who did this." I said.
"Then why are you frowning?" Kyle asked me. I heard the bell ring at that moment. I knew Kyle and my friends had already missed one class because of me.
"I think you guys should go to class. I have to meet someone." I told them.
"Are you sure?" Kyle asked me with a frown and I nodded.
"Who are you meeting?" He asked me and Natalie rolled her eyes.
"Does it matter who he is meeting? He can handle himself. He doesn't need you guys hovering over him. If you can't treat him like the guy he is, you are no friend of his." Natalie said and I winced. Kyle frowned at that and then looked at me. I did think Natalie went overboard there but I was speechless for a few seconds.
"I get it. I'll go to class then." Kyle said with a frown before leaving. I couldn't hold him back. He looked annoyed with Natalie.
"You really shouldn't have said that to Kyle. He has been my friend since I was three." I told Natalie.
"But they keep stifling your growth as a boy. I had to say something." Natalie said with a shrug. I pursed my lips at that.
"I don't really care, Natalie. I love my friends. They mean a lot to me. They care a lot about me. That's all." I told her and she gave a frustrated sigh.
"Okay. I'll go to class then." Natalie said and left. Daniella remained with me until I was called into a meeting room beside principal's office. A fashionable lady in her forties sat there.
"Hello darling, are you Elliot?" She asked me and I nodded.
"I am Silvia. You might know my daughter Natalie. She told me a lot about you." She told me and I gave her a surprised look.
"Don't look so surprised. It was all good things." She said with a chuckle. I warmed up to her slightly but I didn't like where the conversation would lead and hence remained tense.
"I heard what happened at school today. It's really a pity that people don't understand. I completely understand what you are going through and I applaud you for your bravery in coming out. There are many people who never come out of the closet. I am curious. Is it your attraction for girls that made you realize you are meant to be a boy?" She asked me and I blinked.
"Not really. I am not sure if I like girls more than boys. All I know is that I always wanted to be a boy because I want to be strong like a boy and girls..well..look more pretty than boys." I told her honestly.
"So you are both gender questioning and a lesbian. That's a lot to deal with. I completely understand." She said and I frowned. It made me uneasy to be tagged as anything to be honest.
"Let's cut the chase and come to the real issue here. The principal might have told you that many girls have complained about having to share a toilet with you since you are a boy. We discussed this in the school board. If you must know, there are gender questioning children who actually want to use the toilet of the gender they perceive they are than the sex they are born with. At our school, we would be very supportive of any child wanting to be what they are. I condemn what had been done to you strongly. It might make you even want to retrieve back into your closet. But you have to be stronger now. Be an example to all the gender questioning children out there and embrace your true gender, Elliot. I think it would be a good answer to everyone complaining about you to say you don't care and use the boy's toilet." She told me.
I gave her a confused look. For some reason the thought of using the boy's toilet was a very daunting prospect.
"What are you thinking about Elliot? Don't you want to be a boy in every meaning of that word?" She asked me.
"But without surgery I still have a girl's body. I don't know how guys would take it if I walk into their toilet." I said uneasily.
"I understand completely. I want to give you a very good news. I can find funding for you to do the surgery to be a boy. I know how much it hurts for you to see yourself in the mirror. If you could promise to spend the rest of your life advocating for the gender questioning children out there, I could arrange the funds to do your surgery even today." She said and I looked at her in shock.
"What should I do then?" I asked her.
"We will document your life and sell it to a TV channel. More children will become aware of what you are going through and come out of their closets." She told me.
"How are you going to document my life?" I asked her.
"We have a written script. You will need to play that part." She told me.
"I..am a terrible actor." I told her and she laughed.
"It's a very small part really." She told me.
"O-okay then." I said reluctantly.
"Since you agreed, you have to keep up your appearances as a boy. You need to start using the boy's toilet." She told me and I nodded.
"You are amazing really, Elliot. Once the video is done, you can meet our affiliated doctor and he will tell you all about your surgery." She told me. I tried to smile but it became more of a grimace. I don't know why but the first thought that came to my mind was whether Levi would still like me if I became a boy. I don't know why that thought should even pop up in my mind but it did.
"Ms. Silvia..can I ask something?" I asked her hesitantly and she looked at me with a smile.
"Yes. Sure. Go ahead." She told me.
"Say..I become a boy and then later find out that I really like boys over girls..what can I do then?" I asked her uneasily.
"Huh..the boy would not be worth your time if he cannot understand your choices." She told me. I don't know why the answer didn't satisfy me. I just wanted to see Levi for some reason. But I had the feeling Levi would dissuade me from doing the surgery or the documentary if I told him. Was Ms. Silver right? Should I first do it and then see who remains true to me?
"Elliot..if you keep thinking about everyone else and what they would think, you can never be yourself." She told me and I sighed. I really don't know what I want! I wanted to scream.
All I know is Levi and my friends are important to me. If they didn't accept the new me, it would break my heart.
"Do I have to get my mom's consent?" I asked the lady.
"Is your mom supportive of this?" She asked me and I shook my head. Both mom and Allen thought I was delusional.
"Then they don't have to know. This is about you. Not them." She told me, squeezing my hands.
But they are an integral part of my life. Can I really turn my back on them and do whatever I want?
"I can see your mind wavering. You need to be strong Elliot. You can't waver in your resolve. Don't you want to free yourself from the shackles and be your true self?" She asked me and I nodded my head.
"So what's your final answer Elliot?" She asked me.
"I will do this." I said a lot more firmly.
"Good. Now, you mustn't talk to anyone who would sidetrack you. Once this is done, you will know how freeing it is. You won't regret it." She told me. I nodded.
"You can go to class now. I will inform the principal that you would be using the boy's toilet from now on." She told me and I nodded. I tried to smile but it wasn't as genuine as I wanted it to be. I was still deep in thought when I left the meeting room. Daniella was still waiting for me.
She asked me what happened and I told her everything that the lady said. She agreed with the lady and encouraged me to remain strong. She told me I was over thinking about it. I guess hearing her say it really relieved me. I smiled at her.
"I can't wait to tell Levi." I told her and she stopped me.
"You want to tell the guy who asked you to wear girl clothes? Boy, he is going to try to stop you." Daniella told me and I gave her a wary look.
"If I explain to him, he would understand." I said tiredly.
"Elliot, I really think you should first do this and then tell your friends. That way you will know who your true friends are." She told me.
"I don't like keeping secrets from them." I said uneasily.
"It's not exactly a secret right? They all know you want to be a boy. That is unless you think you need their consent to be what you are." She said and I sighed. I didn't like it but Danny also had a point I guess. The whole thing made me really uneasy. The last bell rang and I saw students coming out of their classes.
"Come. I will drop you home." Daniella told me. I looked around for Levi.
"Who are you looking for?" She asked me.
"Um, no one." I said uneasily.
"You are looking for Levi aren't you? I swear you behave like a love sick calf sometimes. He is already in love with some other girl from all I have heard from other girls. Wait! Is the girl he love actually you?" She asked me suspiciously.
"Noo...It's someone else." I said gloomily.
"That's good." Daniella said as she dropped her arm on my shoulder.
"You are all mine then." She said as she dragged me out of the school.
I was feeling down despite the good news I had received from Ms. Silvia. I was walking with Danny to her car when I saw a man coming over to us. I froze on the spot as I recognized the Spanish looking man who had held us prisoner in Eric's club last night. He smiled at me as he stopped before me. Danny also stopped beside me. The man looked at Daniella but quickly looked over at me.
"Eric wanted me to give this to you as a souvenir of last night to you and your cute friends." He said as he gave me an open envelope.
"Ciao, cutie." He said with a wink before he left.
"Wow, that guy is hot." Some girls around us said. I was still frozen in shock. How did he know my school? This was dangerous wasn't it?
"Hey, are you alright honey?" Danny asked me. I realized then that I was trembling slightly.
"You don't look good. What's this envelope?" Daniella asked me. Quickly I shoved the envelope into my bag. Danny looked at me curiously and then to my surprise hugged me tightly.
"Calm down Ellie. It's alright." She told me. I stilled for a while, relaxing in her hold. It felt nice to be hugged when I was so scared. But still the first person that came to mind was Levi. I kept thinking I should tell him about that man and the envelope he gave me. What was in that envelope anyway? From how it felt when I held it, it felt like photos and a CD.
I pulled away from Danny. "I am okay now Danny." I told her. She looked startled because I pushed her away.
"I...have to go now." I told her hurriedly, averting my gaze from her.
"But.." She started but thankfully did not stop me as I ran away looking for Levi. I pushed my hand into my bag to grab my phone and the envelope stumbled out with the pictures and CD in it. I didn't think I put the envelope so close to my bag opening. But then maybe I was wrong. My eyes widened in shock at the photos. It was Ed and Fabi together in positions that made my eyes widen in shock. I looked around wildly and was really glad that no one was around. Quickly I collected the photos and CD making sure I retrieved all of them before putting it in my bag. My hands were shaking again. Those people were monsters.
I called Levi quickly and he asked me to come out to the parking lot. Quickly, I ran to where Levi was. I didn't even want to show the pictures to Levi. I really wanted to destroy it. But I trusted Levi. So I explained what had happened. Levi looked at the pictures with a scowl and agreed that it needed to be destroyed. I watched him calling Kyle and explain the situation to him.
Kyle said that he could hack into VCard's server and see if he could destroy the soft copies of the photos. Levi on the other hand said that he would visit the club again and destroy all the evidence that they had in their cameras and any copies out of the main server. As Kyle had gone to pick up his little sister, Levi took me to Kyle's home before he went off to handle the situation in the club.
"Aren't you glad that we have Levi with us?" He asked me and I nodded.
"Come on. Let's save our friends. I guess it's time I put my hacking skills into best use." He said seriously as he took my hand and walked into his busy household.
I wondered how Levi would fight off that many people in the club. Without assistance from Osher's gang, I was worried Levi could end up really hurt when he goes to the club.
"What's got you worried?" Kyle asked me.
"I..I guess I am worried about Levi." I said honestly.
"Don't worry about that guy. He's got big gangs helping him." He told me.
"But..Osher's gang will not help him fight Eric." I said with a frown.
"The gang with him last night wasn't Osher's gang. They said they were paying off a favour they owed to Levi. I talked to them. Don't worry. It's weird but he's got big gangs eating out of his hands." He told me. I looked surprised at him. I didn't know Levi could be so influential. Anyway, this whole scenario had me on edge.
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AN: Please vote and or comment if you liked this chapter :).