Time did not seem to follow its normal stream. It took its time creating impact in a way that turned it nightmarish. The wind blowing was supposed to soothe her; instead it pierced her, tearing her body and soul equally along with it.
She was on a cliff, a one that she had never seen before. She could feel the sky growing darker by the minute yet that seemed to be the only thing in motion. The looming figure of Taehyung stood next to her, getting her mind confused and dizzy. Every feature seemed to strike her like a closely sculptured art, painting a hole in her brain. She could feel every strand of hair that moved on his body yet none of her own as they seemed to turn numb.
His mouth was moving but her ears went deaf with silence. Each moment was agonisingly slow, etching a fear deeper and deeper into her soul. She was not sure if her breathing was ragged for all she could feel was a sense of hollowness as he came closer.
He's been standing close to her for a time longer than what comforted her; his normally warm touch seemed icy cold and she was struck with sudden paranoia. This slowly tortured her until she heard his velvet deep voice, uttering the words she'd been sure that she'd hear sooner.
"You're a fool."
She blinked in approval.
"You're no different from the others."
Her mind, despite not wanting to admit it, gave into it.
"You were always worthless."
Worth? What exactly measured worth when it ultimately succumbed to hopelessness?
"You lose, Park Minjee. You lose."
She pondered over those words; she had plenty of time anyways. The despair that she had thought she would have was nowhere in sight. In fact, she felt like she was rid off a burden that had weighed her down: the burden of truth. She knew that playing games with fate was always unfair, she just wanted to see how long it would last until it triumphed over her.
His hand came forcefully on her shoulders and he pushed her. Her body moved slow to the contact and took it's time staggering back as it finally lost its footing. And then, she fell. She fell endlessly.
Gasping for air, drenched in cold sweat, Kira finally woke up.
***
People had called her crazy a million times but she didn't realise how much of it she was until she started avoiding Taehyung. A dream or a nightmare is not something to be taken seriously, you're supposed to wake up and forget all about it the next day but this particular one was affecting her in a way she loathed.
The first few weeks of when they had started dating, a small part of her had always built a wall. It was as if she was expecting him to put on a switch and tell her that it was all a lie. When she had confessed her love for him, she had believed or at least hoped that she was void of that thought but her vision proved her wrong.
She constantly found herself hiding away whenever he was in near vicinity and she excused herself when they ended up in the same room. She didn't want to; as much as she didn't want to, her body refused to listen to her. It was as is her legs had a mind of their own.
She stood by the edge of the stairs, making sure that the corridors were safe of Taehyung. She was about to move at the clear sight when a voice startled her insides.
"Who are you looking for?" A curious pair of eyes asked her.
"J-Jin." She replied in haste.
"What did he do?"
"Oh nothing, we had a small fight today morning that's all." This was not entirely false. Only, she would never hide from him.
"I see. We've been pretty busy this week huh? I mean, we haven't had a proper conversation in what, three days?"
Kira faked a laugh. "Yeah, tell me about it."
She kept the facade well until he leaned down to peck her lips. Instinctively, she pushed him by the chest and looked away. Well, shit.
Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed. "I was right. So something is wrong. What's the matter?"
Kira shook her head.
"No, there is something bothering you and you've been acting weird lately."
Kira shook her head again.
"Minjee, you know you can talk to me, right"
"I want some space." She blurted out.
Kira dearly wished she could take words back as his face contorted in doubt. He didn't protest, he didn't ask why, he didn't shout; he simply nodded. He seemed to nod to himself first, as if talking to himself and then he nodded to her.
"Okay. I understand." He smiled and quietly headed to his office.
***
Kira always considered herself the best judge of any situation and when she failed at something she thought she was good at, she was not happy about it. The worst part was that, with him, it seemed to happen all too often. She seemed to lose her footings constantly when it came to him. The air of uncertainty seemed toxic and she sighed deeply.
She was unsure. She didn't know why she let a mere dream cloud her judgement and now she regretted it. She shook her head as she contemplated it to herself. Why was she so afraid of a stupid dream?
She loved the guy and loving meant being unconditional, being fully aware of the other's feelings and thoughts. She knew that he wouldn't do it. She knew that he was not the person she initially took him to be. She had felt it a million times; she had felt the love and protection each time he held her in his warm embrace.
Then why did she push off the only person whom she knew could make her feel better. She was past the confusion and turmoil now and she had moved on to loathing herself for making an irrational decision; one that caused not only her but him to suffer too.
Four days and his face of confusion was still etched vividly in her mind. She saw the worry in his face and she remembered how he had smiled to conceal it for her sake. He hadn't asked her a single question and had simply walked away in hopes that she felt comfortable. In fact, he avoided being around her too much. She could see his deliberate effort to not look at her or talk to her as they passed by each other in the hallways.
The more she thought about it, the more her head pound and her heart panged.
***
Taehyung put his coat back on and switched off the lights in his room as he locked the door. The office was pretty much empty except for a rare few lights that still glowed tiredly. A certain door which was open ajar caught his attention and out of curiosity, he looked inside to find a sleeping Minjee. He checked his watch and found the time to be quiet late.
He quietly stood by the door, watching her sleep. Her hair was messily scattered on the table and the papers on which she lay seemed uncomfortable. He desperately wanted to know what it was that made her seem this worried but he knew better than to push her into doing it. He knew that giving her time would eventually let her come to terms with it on her own. He sighed deeply seeing that she seemed void of peace even in her sleep.
The AC was on full blast and he himself felt cold. He quietly walked inside, taking her hanged coat along the way and gently put it over her. He desperately wanted to brush off the strands of hair falling messily on her face but he restrained himself in fear of waking her up.
"Taehyung?"
He immediately stopped breathing. Maybe, he thought, if stood quiet enough she won't notice him. But it was in vain as she stared directly at him. He suddenly had the urge to defend himself from seemingly standing there like a creep but he didn't have to.
"We... need to talk." She said tiredly.
He nodded and slowly sat facing her on the table. He was reading her tense face and rigid body structure. She seemed to be struggling with her words and he felt like she was opening up a part of herself that she was scared to show others. He smiled pleasantly at her, encouraging her to speak at her own pace.
She talked to him in a low voice, avoiding eye contact, looking uncertainly at the ground. He listened intently as she told him about her dream. His instincts were right, through the dream, she was indirectly talking about her insecurities. He could see the vulnerability in her eyes as she finally looked at him uncertainly.
She looked at him as if she was expecting him to suddenly break out of character and talk like how he did in her vision. Through her eyes, he saw a Minjee he'd never seen before; broken and helpless, far different from her normal confident and fierce self.
"I am sorry." He finally said.
"Sorry?"
He took her cold hands in his. "I am sorry for being mean."
She let out an airy laugh. "You're apologising for being mean in my dream?"
"I hurt you in it and I don't ever want to hurt you." As cheesy as it sounded he meant every word of it and dreaded even the idea that a day might come when he would. He poured out all his emotions into his words and tried giving her what she needed the most: comfort and strength.
"You're not a fool; you're wise, witty, and intelligent. You are different from others, you're as unique as unique can get. So don't ever think low of yourself, do you hear me? Don't ever say that you're worthless because dear god, you're worth the world to me."
The small smile on her lips made him forget about everything around him. He realised how much he was willing to give up just to see it playing softly on her face.
"If you ever need to talk about anything, you know I am here for you right?"
She nodded slowly.
"And if you ever need space, I'll gladly give it to you because your happiness is what's more important to me."
He watched as she got up from her chair, standing close to him. He watched as her eyes bore deeply into his own.
"I want you to stay. I want you to stay with me."
He couldn't help but smile at that. He warped his hands around her and prayed that there wouldn't come a day when he couldn't stay by her side. If only he knew...
A/N: Happy Birthday, Taetae. I love you. 💜