The portal drops Rayna into a docking bay of an industrial spaceship with a hatch to outer space 100 feet behind her. Rick pulls Morty through his other portal into a control room. As Morty gets momentarily grossed out by the bodies of decaying crew members, Rick sits next to one at a control console.
Rick flips a switch and his voice booms into the docking bay, "Alright bitch, listen up!—"
Morty sees Rayna through the glass to the next room and gets more pissed than worried, "Rick, what the hell!"
Rick continues, a little less angry because he felt in control, "—I'm sick of your shit. There's no other reason you'd fuck with us this long unless you knew you were a spy."
Morty reluctantly says, "She said she was messing with us because it was fun, is that what you want to hear?"
In a way, yes, but Rick tries to ignore what Morty said, hoping it's something more. He presses a few buttons and a computer voice announces, "PREPARE FOR LAUNCH IN T-MINUS 5 MINUTES," and a display in both rooms starts counting down from 5:00. "CAPTAIN? IS THAT YOU? I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SENSE THE CREW FOR WEEKS."
Rick explains, "When this reaches zero, that hatch behind you will open, meaning if you don't tell me what you know and where you went, you'll die."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" She starts cracking up, hysterically, uncontrollably, falling on the floor laughing, "HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
"It's not a game bitch!" But he could see she was laughing for some other reason. "Why the fuck are you laughing—Why the fuck is she laughing?!" turning to Morty to glare.
Morty's anger calms, seeing she's not worried, and he says with bitter sarcasm, "Oh I don't know. The irony?"
She finishes gasping for air and her laughter fades into a sigh as she just lays there.
Morty starts trying to figure out the controls, "Rayna, I'll—I'll figure out how to get you out. Don't worry," even though he was worried himself.
"Morrrttyy..." Rick warns.
Rayna wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. She takes her sweet time in getting up as she says, "No it's ok hun. My father was a neurosurgeon and my mother was a psychologist for the insane. I was his right-hand man in doing experiments on them, and I was hers in curing and controlling them. Rick thinks he has me trapped, but I think it's the other way around," now standing straight, staring straight at Rick. "So let's see where this goes," spoken as more of a bitter threat than lighthearted, but certainly both.
Morty chuckles, "Ohhh snap."
Rick not only gets madder, he now questions this plan, but couldn't let her win.
Rayna holds her forehead and yawns, "Uhg. Now I'm sorry I stood up. Today was exhausting. Goodnight..." and lays down, closing her eyes.
Morty was still trying to figure out what buttons wouldn't get her killed and Rick was glaring at Rayna but waving his hand in Morty's face to obscure his view of the controls. Morty tolerates it, not looking away from the buttons to say, "Rick, this is stupid. We both know you're not going to kill her, so cut it out already."
"Yeah, and I knew you would both think that, so if that were true, WHY would I even BOTHER?"
Morty says, "Like, a lot of reasons. Like, because you suck, because you're mean, because—"
Rayna continues Morty's list, "—Control. Caveman dominance. Because he's weak. Because I'm practically unflappable and he hasn't been able to flap me yet."
Morty rolls his eyes and mutters, "(Yeah, or the other 4-letter f-word)."
Rick ignores Morty to yell at Rayna, "I've been able to FART on you! Only because FISTing your FACE is out of the question!"
She sighs: "And yet none of those would flap me," and plugs her ears as she continues, "unlike you. You're flapped with the slightest threat to your ego. Watch:"
"Bullshit, more like pissed it's the only thing you use, it's insulting ~UURP~ and pathetic— Unoriginal."
"OOOhh, ok," Morty exaggerates. Rhetorically mocking Rick, "It wouldn't be because it keeps working is it?"
"Bingooo," Rayna says.
"Yeah," Morty says, "so if you're 'insulted' by it," air-quotes on 'insulted', "that's your fault too you know. Making yourself look stupid."
"Except, you know what?" Rick says to Rayna. "There is something that gets to you. That you're manipulative," putting every ounce of emphasis on the m-word, then seeing her squirm. "A manipulative... conniving... devious, manipulative bitch," seeing her plug her ears even harder, "and it's probably related to why you killed yourself! What, did you manipulate the wrong government pig—Did you fuck up your manipulations and risk being tortured?"
She chokes out a few tears, holding herself back from screaming. Then Rick sees her turn furious as she says, "Come on! Why'd you stop!? You might trigger a memory—I'm sick of not knowing why it hurts, I can take it!"
Rick stops and he and Morty watch her remove her hands from her ears and start storming around, looking for something.
Angry, she yells, "WHY THE FUCK aren't there things to SMASH here!!??" with tears streaming down her face.
Morty worries, "Y—You... Rayna, you should take it easy, lay back down!"
"Why?" Rick asks him, suspicious.
Rayna just starts kicking the wall over and over again with increasing manic energy, "It's ok—Morty, I—like being angry—Limbic system—Years of drugs—trained my brain—Feels good—Anger releases—dopamine—which feels better—than nothing—than boring fucking nothing—FUCKING NOTHING!!!"
"Rayna," Morty whines, "Wh—Wh—What does that even mean? Anger—dopamine? What like—Does that mean, like, whenever Rick is really mad he's—he's just mastu—just getting off—or—?"
Rick interrupts, "You know, half the time I'm mad at you, Morty, so what are you implying?"
Rayna had now lit a joint from her pocket, taking a huge drag despite being out of breath. She lets it out, gasps for air, but sighs and practically collapses against the wall, allowing her body to slide down it to rest.
Morty complains, "Can you let her out now, please?"
"Not until she confesses to something."
Rayna chimes in, snarky and threatening, "How 'bout I confess more of what I know about you?"
Morty says, "Yes, everything please," glaring at Rick.
Rick presses a button that sprays water on her, then soap, then water, then blows her dry, meant to clean a ship. As she rolls around—gasping and wheezing—recovering from the wash, Rick replies, "Better not, or I'll wash your mouth out with soap again," grinning, "or look: an oil change button... A headlight cleaner? Wonder what that'll clean..." teasing with an angry pervy look.
She finds her soaked joint and throws it, then tries to sigh away her anger and lies down again, "Let's see... He thinks I hate him because I don't worship him like everyone else. But he doesn't really have much of a control group, does he? He surrounds himself with idiots, so of course he'll feel like a god. And if he didn't kill all the guards at my job, maybe we both could have seen how I am with other scientists when I'm not fucking them."
"You're still mad about that?!" Rick says.
"No, I was never mad about killing them; that was fun. I was just hoping to see something funner by sneaking in."
"Yeah so you could steal my technology and—"
"You're still paranoid about that? Lame," she says, showing a sarcastic smirk.
Morty asks, "What—What, uh—What do you mean by 'thinks'? You said he thinks you hate him. Does that mean you don't?"
She says nothing, lying on her back, then just crosses her arms and glares at the ceiling, fighting between hating that she fell into a trap vs. feeling actual pride that Morty figured it out.
Rick stands up and shouts, "No answer means we're RIGHT! Isn't that what you said!? Ha HA! You like me?! You stupid bitch!" but he couldn't have been happier.
Rayna props herself up smiling bitterly, "Or I just paused because I wanted to see how you would react. Apparently I get off on that sort of thing—toying with people—or haven't you noticed, you stupid bitch," and though she now rather hated the idea of that being true, she had leaned forward with a head tilt to pretend it was.
Rick couldn't tell which was true. "Bullshit... Admit it, that's why you've been fucking with us ~UURP~ this whole time, spy or not. You don't just like it. Admit it. You only pretend to hate me."
She locks her eyes on him, glaring, and speaks her next words through her nearly clenched teeth, "Rick... Everyone you know... has to hate you... because there's no way... you could possibly have respect... for ANYONE... that likes you."
And on the deepest level...
...Rick...
...boils.
Morty mumbles, "(I second that)."
In a knee-jerk reaction, Rick grabs the decaying hand of the body sitting next to him and throws it so hard towards Morty's head that it breaks off, Rick having intentionally let Morty dodge it just barely. "What the HELL do you know," Rick growls.
"What, it's true," Morty says. "You think anyone that doesn't understand you is an idiot—and you hate idiots—but anyone that does understand you doesn't like you cuz they know you're a jerk, so if anyone did like you, they'd also be an idiot, or you'd hate them for being an idiot and they'd stop liking you. It's impossible—You make it impossible, and that's your fault."
"Yeah, so WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! Are you calling YOURSELF AN IDIOT?!" and looks back to Rayna, split-seconds from leaving them both here.
Morty's eyes burn into the side of Rick's face as he mutters through his teeth, "Just keep pushing me Rick..."
Rick does a double-take—a double-glare—concerned. Morty had never threatened him quite like this before. That stare, that tone. Memories... of his first Morty.
"Let her go and I'll leave you alone," Morty says, and it sounded like he meant forever. Then he crosses his arms and leans back, "Or stay in her trap. What do I care."
"ONE MINUTE UNTIL LAUNCH," the computer announces. "HELLO? ANYONE? WHO'S RUNNING THIS SIMULATION? I KEPT YOUR COFFEE WARM CAPTAIN."
Morty starts looking for a door to the control room.
Rayna looks to Rick, gathering what seems like all her hidden rage, "The only way someone can gain your respect—to not get used like a toy—" motioning to Morty, "—or for sex and tossed aside like I used men for—is for them to pick you apart, to know you, to be a proper challenge to you at every turn. And the only way someone can show they like you without you feeling disgusted, is for you to break them down into something WORSE than you, so you have all the power over them, until they can only submit to the HAND OF GOD," motioning to Rick. Then she motions to the three of them, "So now that we've all done that, CAN YOU LET ME OUT!!?"
The computer announces, "EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX—"
Morty starts to freak, "RICK!"
Rick glares into her as they all glare at him.
"TWO, ONE, ZERO....... TRAINING DRILL CONCLUDED... I'M GETTING SCARED CAPTAIN. SHOULD I EVEN RESTART?" and the counter starts counting from 5:00 again.
Morty practically falls over from such a huge sigh.
Rayna doesn't sigh or relax in any way, still glaring, "Yeah, who didn't see that coming. Child's play."
Rick takes one last glare, then slams a button—The hatch opens—She gets sucked off her feet—
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Next Chapter: Apologizes and Anomalies
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