i'm saying this all the time now but thank you for 4,000+ reads this is incredible i love you all.
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I really wish I was anywhere but here.
I can feel my body sweaty in crevices I don't want it to, my nerves are sky rocketing. I sit in reception of my college waiting for Louise.
I wasn't going to come but I know if I don't, Issac will be upset with me later when I want it to be fun and happy. I have a few places in mind to take him.
I see people looking at me, they know why I'm here and they all give me sympathetic looks. I can't stand it, "Darcy?" Louise smiles down at me.
"Ready to go?" She tilts her head, I nod.
We walk down a corridor and into a first aid room where there's a examination couch, two chairs, a little table and a surface area with a sink.
I sit down and avoid looking at her, pulling my hoodie sleeves up and over my hand, fiddling with it.
"Before we start I just have to go over the important stuff" She looks at me. "Anything that is said in this room is just between us, I don't share this with anyone else. The only time I break that rule is to tell your GP if I think you're a danger to yourself or others"
I nod to her words, "Okay" I avoid making eye contact with her. I look at the pale walls, plane white with a few first aid posters up.
"So, let's start" She smiles, her soft eyes looking at me, "First tell me a bit about yourself" She rests her elbows on her knees.
I open my mouth but nothing escapes my lips, I don't know what to say as I slowly realise that there's not much about me to tell, "I love art" I mumble.
"Is that a course you're doing here?" She asks, "Yes, I've always wanted to come and do an art course" I smile a small smile to myself.
"Why's that?" She looks interested.
"It's a way for me to express myself, art is something that I think everyone finds beautiful in a way. Art always has hidden messages with in it" I look at her, her cheeks are a tint of pink, I'm guessing that's a shade of blusher and her skin is a tannish colour.
"How do you express yourself within art?" She moves one elbow from her knee positioning it into a fist and resting her chin on it. "Normally I express my emotions into it, if I'm happy I draw what makes me happy, but if I'm sad or angry I normally just let the pencil flow because I don't know what I'll draw, sometimes it's a broken flower or a girl crying, it's always something different"
"I see" She nods, I can tell she's thinking.
She takes a long pause filling the air with silence, "Darcy I'm here to help you, but I'll only be seeing you once a week so in the mean time I need to teach you how to look after yourself in those 6 days I'm not with you"
"You're the only one who can fight this, I'm just here to help you through that, we'll have six sessions, once a week and see how you are after that" Her voice is gentle, long pauses between sentences.
"But I need to know some things first before I can help you, I really need you to open up to me" She smiles catching my eyes.
I nod, "So, tell me your story" She sits back.
I take a pause before answering, my nerves building, "Well it all started from when I was little"
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"Darling Darcy" Issac's beaming smile appears in front of me.
I smile, the weather is beautiful today with the sun shining. I dressed myself in some black velvet loose shorts and a crop top.
"Are you ready?" I smile, his hair is styled looking fluffy and his eyes sparkle in the sun shine.
"Are you going to sweep me off my feet?" He raises his eyebrows, "Hopefully" I fiddle with my rings nervously.
"Hopefully? That should of been a solid yes" He tuts but gives me a wink, "But yes I'm ready" He steps out his house locking the door after him.
"Would you mind driving us?" I ask nervously.
"You want me to drive to my mysterious location?" He raises his eyebrows, I frown embarrassed.
"Of course I will, you don't need to be so nervous, it's only me" He smiles poking me lightly in the stomach.
I sigh of relief and we make out way to the car.
I giggle and run ahead of him to open his car door, "Why thank you" He winks getting into the driving side, I close the door and walk around to the passenger side.
"Where we going?" He looks over at me when I've gotten in, "I can't tell you" I smirk.
He whines, "Then how are we going to get there?" He starts the car.
"By following my directions" I smile, he nods and drives down the road.
He follows my directions with a few little arguments that make me laugh. My nerves rise up as we get closer, I've never taken anyone here before.
"Take a left here and there should be a car park" I nod. He does as I say and we find the car park, I smile.
I look out the window, it looks exactly the same, just quieter, lonely.
"So, what's this?" Issac raises an eyebrow after he parks the car, not knowing where he is, "This is a park"
There's a pause so I carry on, "My dad used to bring me when I was little and I wanted to bring you here" I smile.
I used to love coming here when I was little, exploring and having the time of my life.
Issac said he feels like I'm drifting away from him, that I'm pushing him away, so I brought him here to open up to him and explore all over again with him.
He smiles, "Let's go" we both get out the car, the sun is shining above us making it a beautiful day.
He takes my hand, his palm soft against mine. We walk in silence for a bit just appreciating each other's company. The wildlife around us.
"What did you and your dad used to do up here?" Issac breaks the silence with a gentle voice, "I used to climb trees looking for squirrels and things like that. There was a lake somewhere that I used to love to play in, sometimes even swim" I smile.
"I bet I can find more squirrels then you" He smirks down at me as we walk along the track.
"I think not, I'm an expert" I wave him off.
"We'll see about that" He shows a cheeky grin making me giggle, "Did you see Louise today?" Issac asks, making my laugh die down quickly.
I nod.
"How was it?" He raises his eyebrows, I shrug, "It was okay"
"Darcy c'mon, you can't keep fobbing me off with a shrug and it was okay, I want to know more" He frowns, I can see he's upset and I did come here to open up to him, I sigh disappointed with myself.
"It was okay, I was nervous but today she just wanted to know my story and see what was going on" I mumble looking at my feet, I kick peddles. I almost feel like a peddle, like I could stay in one spot forever and wouldn't move but I'm just getting kicked, nudged, almost through everyday, not wanting to but being forced.
"What did you tell her?" His thumb gently stokes the back of my hand whilst they're intertwined.
"I told her about my dad, mom, Ezra, everyone really, even you" His eyes are striking in the sun when I look at him, "All good I hope" He winks.
"Well" I drag out the word jokingly. He pulls a shocked face and nudges me in the shoulder, making me laugh.
"Don't worry, it was all good" I smile, which it was. I spoke about how amazing he is, how helpful he's been and most importantly the support I've received from him.
"Found one!" I point to a squirrel that's sitting in the tree, "Not fair, I wasn't even looking" He whines.
"You snooze, you loose" I stick my tongue out at him, "That's a tree squirrel" I smile.
"I thought they were all tree squirrels?" He looks at me confused, "Some are tree and some are ground squirrels" I nod, he looks impressed.
I smile, he looks different today. The sun on his skin makes his pale skin glow and his eyes sparkle.
From Issac's appearance you'd think he was a typical bad boy but he isn't. When people first meet him he puts up a wall, he does that with most people so everyone thinks he's a grumpy, grunting teenager.
I guess I see him in a complete different way to what everyone else does, to what he lets other people see. We've helped each other in our own little ways.
"Take a picture it will last longer" Issac winks, I look away embarrassed.
We carry on walking and talking, the sun coming down making the sky look beautiful. I see a glistening affect ahead of us, the sun reflecting off it and realising it's the lake I was telling Issac about.
It looks breathtaking, it's perfect.
"This is the lake" I gasp, I'd completely forgotten how beautiful it was here, and how much I'd fallen in love with it.
"Wow, it's beautiful" Issac's eyes roam our surroundings, looking at the trees and the waterfall pouring in water.
I let go of Issac's hand and squat down to brush my hand in, the water is nice and cool, it's been a hot day today.
"You should get in" Issac says, I raise my eyebrows, "I haven't got my bikini" I frown.
"Just go in your underwear" He shrugs with a smile. It would be amazing to have a swim, the water doesn't look dirty like I imagined it would and I have a massive craving to dive in.
I smile, "Okay, turn around" He raises his eyebrows at my words, "It's nothing I haven't seen before" He smirks and I feel my cheeks warm up.
"Fine, then cover your eyes" I laugh, he rolls his eyes playfully and puts his hands over his eyes.
I slide my shorts off and my shirt, aware that Issac is so obviously looking through his fingers.
Throwing my clothes on the ground I step in, the water welcomes me instantly and in seconds I'm off swimming.
This brings back so many memories that it makes me sad, every time they flash back into my head I just wish Dad never left us, I'm so fed up of always feeling upset and angry it's all I ever think about these days.
I'm glad he came back but a part of me wishes he hadn't, before I could imagine whatever I wanted, that maybe he went off to a be hero and save lives or was fighting for our country and for a split second that would make me feel okay but knowing he was off with another family just crushes me even more.
A minute ago I was okay, I felt okay but now I'm back in my ditch.
"Darcy, you okay?" Issac sits cross legged at the edge of the lake, I swim over to him.
"You look upset" He frowns when I rise from under water, "Swimming reminded me of being here with dad. I wasn't sad about it before but I can remember being in this lake swimming just like this when I was little with dad, and sometimes memories make me so angry with him" I mumble.
I feel both his hands cup my cheeks, his touch makes me feel better. Issac must hate all these mood changes, one minute I tell him nothing then the next I blurt everything out to him all at once.
"It's okay to feel angry, it's just how you deal with that emotion" He wipes away the dripping water off my face.
"I'm always angry with him" I mumble, he leans down and kisses my forehead, "Come swim with me" I whisper whilst his face is still close to mine.
He stands up, "Turn around" He smirks and I pull a frown, "Its only fair" He winks, I huff and turn around.
When he's finished he steps into the water and when my eyes catch hold of him, my body overcomes with a sense of weakness and a tingly feeling in my tummy.
The water ripples when he gets in. It's nice and warm, I could stay in here forever.
I follow him over to the waterfall, sinking my body underwater I open my eyes, I could see everything so clearly it's magical.
A few rocks are planted at the bottom that I can stand on when I get to the waterfall.
"It's beautiful" Issac smiles, I sit on a much higher rock and stare at it in awe. "It really is"
He smiles over to me and perches himself between my legs, "I can see why you came here so much" His hands rest on my thighs making me feel like I'm on fire.
"I don't know why I ever stopped" I frown, "It's so peaceful here" I look around, the sun is in the sky, setting a sun set but the sky is still light.
Issac lifts me up and slowly lowers me into the water, our bodies are pressed together. The warmth is vibrating from him onto me, making my body feel tingly.
"I don't know what it is about you" His voice comes out a little above a whisper, "From the first moment I saw you, I wanted you" His eyes drift to my lips, I feel my cheeks flush.
"But you weren't like most girls, most girls throw themselves at me, which, I guess I should take as a compliment but after a while it just isn't fun, I want something real" Our faces are so close our noses are side by side.
"I love to be around you Darc, you make me feel something I've never felt before, as cringe as that sounds" he breaks a smile, I giggle.
There's a pause, I look into his eyes before taking a breath, "It's unfair for us to be together when I'm like this, my mood changes so fast and I push people away when I really don't mean to" I frown.
"I know, I understand. I'll wait for you for as long as I need but it's so hard" His arm moves around my waist whilst the other one slowly trails down my legs, lifting me up so they're wrapped around his torso.
"Issac" I whisper, my breathing fastening.
His hand then travels up to my bra starting to outline it with his thumb, almost teasing me. His eyes are drawn to my lips but instead starts to kiss my jawline, my mouth falls open in a gasp.
I feel a squeeze on my bum making me jump, I can feel his smirk against my skin.
"Issac" I repeat trying to get him to stop, "Issac" I repeat again when he doesn't stop.
He looks up at me, raising his eyebrows. "We shouldn't" I frown.
"Do you really want me to stop?" His hand slowly creeps up making its way under my bra giving me goosebumps, "N-No" I whisper.
"Then why shouldn't we? I don't care if it's unfair on me, I don't care what you say Darcy, I want you" His eyes look into mine, they're soft yet serious.
"I want you too" I look back into his eyes and with a blink his lips are on mine.
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hiiii!! i really enjoyed writing this chapter. i hope you're all okay & well (:
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