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Prologue
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The Bloodlust Alpha
"Mate."
I dropped the plate I was holding to the floor but couldn't care to watch it shatter. My eyes were too busy soaking in the man standing before me.
My mate.
The future Alpha of the Nightwake, Landon Walker, is my mate.
Fuck.
Landon's eyes were blown wide as he stood there staring at me. The emotions rolled off him like waves; love, lust, confusion, fear and happiness all packed into one. He was frozen stiff mirroring my posture. Neither of us expected this outcome. It took us completely by surprise. Why did we just find out we were bound? We should've known we were mates at sixteen.
It should've been instantaneous.
But it didn't happen. We didn't know. Until now, that is.
Both of us were passed that ripe age of sixteen --me nineteen as of today, him twenty-one-- but never felt this pull until now. But why? Why now? Why not before?
"Selene-"
Landon began quietly. The way he said my name had chills running down my back. I opened my mouth to say something when the sound of approaching footsteps stopped me.
It was Hestia.
Wisps of her blonde hair swayed back and forth as she entered with a skip in her step. Her bright blue dress fell charmingly down her hips; highlighting the feminine curves she was blessed with. The air of cheeriness and glee she brought along with her presence cut the tension seeping into the kitchen just moments before. I immediately felt my throat constrict as I watched her wrap her arms around Landon's waist and snuggled into his chest. A pang of jealousy flared inside me but I squashed it down.
Friends.
I reminded myself.
They're just friends.
No matter how close they were, they were simply friends.
Landon seemed a little taken aback as he shifted on his foot and wrapped his arm awkwardly around her.
His expression a mask of conflict.
"There you guys are! I've been looking for you two. Can't have the birthday girl isolating herself."
Hesita smiled brightly at me, baby blue eyes shinning and all. She looked absolutely stunning. My baby sister was glowing with happiness as she basked in his affection. In that moment, I could feel my heart rage with growing envy. It was wrong, so wrong for me to want her as far away from him as possible, but he was my mate. It was instinctual to be territorial. It was in my nature as a wolf to desire him for myself regardless of what my human side told me. Against my morals, better judgement and all sensical thinking, I wanted nothing more than to just stake my claim.
I wanted to tell Hestia that he was my destined one and that I was his.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't do that to my sister.
At least, not yet without explaining it to her. We had to have a proper conversation about this.
I knew it would break her heart and that was something I wasn't ready to do. I doubt I ever could be. In that instant of clarity, he became part of me. A part that couldn't belong to no one else but me. Not even my sister. I knew then and there, that it was selfish thinking. They were only friends yet I was trying to separate them.
While I wanted to run away and hide, my wolf wanted to fight for what was hers.
Instinct or not, it felt wrong.
I hated the bond for it.
"Selene? Are you okay?"
My gaze flickered to my sister, her eyes shining with concern as a slight frown tugged on her lips. For a brief second, my gaze fell to their closeness before lifting back to hers,
"I'm fine."
I choke out. What a damn lie.
She didn't seem to notice though. She simply smiled and gazed up to my mate.
No matter how many times I've chanted it in my head that they were simply friends, the wolf side of me refused to acknowledge it. Not when I knew Hestia's feelings for Landon went beyond friendship. She was so sure she was in love with him. I suppose I could only be thankful now that they never seemed to cross the line. That Landon never took the bait.
I never understood why wolves bothered getting into relationships with the intention of going longterm when they still have yet to meet their mate. People like my sister. Those who underestimated the power of the mate bond and the Moon Goddess' will, would try to take fate in their own hands. A Noble thought, but otherwise messy. They would seek out other wolves who thought similarly and plan a long term future together. Some went as far as marking and mating but it never ends well.
When one of them finds their mate, everything they planned would fall to ruin. No one could resist the mate bond. It was embedded in their soul the moment they were born to be unable to defy it. It would only serve to strain relationships. No matter how much one loved someone who wasn't their mate, they'd soon change their mind when they meet their fated one. To have your mate is a feeling completely incomparable to forged relationships. Which is why I didn't understand why Hestia would bother pin after Landon.
When she realized Landon wasn't her mate, she was unbothered. She didn't care whether or not they were mates. Sure, it would've been easier if they were but she'd decided long before that he was the one for her.
It just didn't make any sense to me.
It was utterly pointless.
She had her own mate out there while he did too. It didn't even have to be me. No amount of 'love' would overpower the pull of mates. I've seen it happen countless of times.
With clenched fists and a tight lipped smile, I darted my gaze toward Landon who averted his attention from me and smiled down at my sister. I could see through his facade but Hestia appeared not to. With a small kiss to the cheek, he soothingly ran his hand up and down her arm before clearing his throat.
"Isn't it time that we let Selene here, open her gifts?"
Hestia's eyes twinkled with delight as she clapped her hands together. As much as I was in no mood to open gifts, she made a face that was hard to say no to. The obvious excitement in her expression made me weak to her wishes. I gave in, smiling softly before nodding as Hestia looped her arm around mine and dragged me to the living room. I forced myself not to bristle when she touched me.
That little kiss didn't go unnoticed.
"I'll stay here for a second. I dropped a plate, I'll be right out after I clean it up."
His velvety voice stroke tingles up my skin. Hestia, who only now saw the broken plate looked to her feet and gasped. I could tell she wanted to help him clean it but Landon insisted he'd do it himself. After a few seconds of reluctantly agreeing, Hestia tugged me forward and began to lead me out.
I could feel his gaze boring into my back as I turned. I hated the feeling of immense jealousy coursing through me caused by my own sister. She had no fault in this. Not really. It wasn't as though she knew he would be my mate. Of course it wasn't ideal for her to be going after someone who wasn't hers to begin with, but they grew close to each other long before he got to know me. They actually cared for one another; bond or no bond. Besides, it was just a crush. I tried reassuring myself that her fascination with him was only temporary. The moment she'd find her mate, she'd realize how silly her pinning of him was.
It still didn't erase the hurt from being secondary to him though.
Hestia was first.
I was second.
It hurt so much that anger toward my sister began to brew inside me. How could I share the one person I shouldn't have to? Hestia always had my parents' attention. I blamed it on the younger-sibling card. Though, deep down inside I knew my parents favored her. I didn't hate them for it. I never could. It wasn't intentional but it wasn't very subtle either. Hestia was coddled by my parents. It was hard to pretend like I didn't notice the stark difference between us.
She was everything I wasn't. She was better. She was friendly whereas I was socially awkward. She was confidently beautiful to a fault whereas I was more quiet and to myself. She had friends who would gladly put their life down for her whereas I only had my garden. She was always believed to be Luna material whereas I was simply "the Luna's sister".
She was best friends with the Future Alpha, considered family to the current Alpha and Luna, and was someone everyone sought to be.
She was Hestia.
I was simply Selene.
And I loved myself regardless.
We both grew up fine. We were just different people. I never minded that. She was her own person as I was my own. It was her destiny for something great. I was confident that my own destiny would hold the same kind of importance but just in a different setting.
I knew I was much more than what people thought me to be even without saying it.
She was my sibling and obviously I would be proud of her. I was proud to call her my sister. She was everything I hoped she'd grow up to be. She never asked for the attention people gave her, she was just that good to be drawing that kind of love from everyone in the pack. As stupid as it sounded seeing as I was the older sister, I looked up to her. She was somewhat of a role model to me.
She was one of a kind, just as I was.
She was beautiful, just as I was.
It just took the right person to see that.
And for me, it was supposed to be my mate.
For the first time in my life, I was jealous of my sister.
Jealous of what she had that I didn't.
Jealous of the memories they had shared, are sharing and will share.
I was never mistreated. Never bullied. But sometimes, I wished someone had said mean things to me, done me some wrong. At least then, I would feel somewhat part of the pack. Even if it meant being in the bottom of the food chain.
As of now, as it always had been, I was the outlier.
The odd one out.
The one people know but never knew.
I just wanted a place here.
Heat rose up to my cheeks when I risked a look over my shoulder to see Landon staring at me. He was crouched over the glass shards from the plate but was completely still. We held each other's gaze as Hestia led me away for what seemed like minutes when in reality, it was only for a brief few seconds. We came into the common room where the flatscreen Tv pressed against the wall with three couches surrounding it: one on each side.
"Selene, there you are. I was beginning to think you locked yourself in your room even on your birthday."
My father laughed, raising a pointed brow at me.
I forced a smile on my face before settling down on the couch opposite of him. We never really got along but he let me do as I wished as long as it hadn't interfered with his affairs. He was far too busy with pack affairs than to worry about me getting my hands dirty from gardening. His indifference suited me just fine. It was then that my mother came strolling in with an apron tied around her waist. I could distinctly hear her speaking to my father but my thoughts revolved around the brunette in the kitchen who still had yet to talk to me about what we were going to do.
I felt someone looking at me.
I tilted my head up to find Hestia grinning as she dashed to the other room only to come back with a big, blue box tied with a little red bow on the top in her hands. She beamed, handing me the box while shifting her gaze to her feet slipped in black heels.
"This one's from Landon and I."
Just as she said these words, Landon came in. I tried not to look up because Goddess knows I would get lost in his forest green eyes if I did. I thought for sure he would take his place beside Hestia but he didn't. He simply leaned against the doorframe of the entrance to the living room without a word. His arms crossed at his chest making his muscles bulge and temptation held me by the throat. I managed to calm the soaring desire for him and stared at the box blankly. It was heavy in my lap. Everyone stared.
My wolf was yipping in my head, running in circles as she chased after her own tail cluelessly. For the most part she was almost completely unbothered. I didn't understand why, I guess it was because she was reassured by Landon's wolf that everything was fine. Taking the bright red bow, I pulled it apart and slowly lifted the cover.
I felt my heart stop.
It was a beautiful, rose gold gown neatly folded into the box. On-top of it was a silver colored envelope with the words:
Wedding Invitation
Landon Walker & Hestia Anne Dixon
written in script and black ink across the middle. Tears unwillingly built up in my eyes as I shakily breathed in. This can't be true. This couldn't be. They were just friends. Sure my sister had a crush on him, and the chances he returned her feelings were high but this couldn't be. It shouldn't! He was my mate. He was mine as I was his. Why would they go through with this knowing they still had yet to meet their mate? Why would Landon agree to this?
For us, sixteen was the age in which a wolf was deemed an adult. The capability of finding your mate was the equivalent of the end of puberty to us. In a mateship, mates won't recognize one another until both reach the age of sixteen. More often than not, one would be older than his or her mate. It wasn't unnatural for there to be a slight age gap. It was widely accepted only because majority of the wolves treated the bond as sacred and couldn't bear to mistreat their significant others.
Wolves were also quicker in development both physically and mentally than normal humans. Raising the legal age to eighteen would only complicate affairs when there would be an age gap, regardless of whether it would be a two year one of a four year one. It's why I knew that marriage between Landon and Hestia was possible, even when she was only seventeen going on eighteen.
I lifted my gaze from the box and to Hestia who smiled brightly; expectantly, only to trail my attention to Landon who avoided looking at me. His eyes were hard as he stared off to the side, his jaw clenched so tight his teeth might've cracked.
My wolf howled within me, stirring with rage and heartache at the way things were unfolding. My parents, completely oblivious to what was going on, had gotten up from their seats to look at what my sister had gotten me. Once their gazes set on the envelope, they looked at one another and joyfully hugged my sister. They bombarded her with words I couldn't quite register going through my ears but I could manage to catch a few phrases about being excited for the next Luna.
How they were proud to have a daughter who would bring the family name into Alpha Status.
That didn't matter to me. The Luna position never crossed my mind. I only wanted him, Luna position be damned.
I could only focus on the one person in the room that mattered above all.
I wished I could say he looked remorseful. I wished, if only for my pride, I could say he looked torn. But I couldn't. No hint of sorrow or regret lingered on his handsome face. He looked completely calm. Unbothered by the fact he was breaking me from inside out. The worst part is that he knew. The bond between us was there, no matter how small. He would feel the emotions surging through me as I would him. At least, I should be able to. But I can't because he chose to block his end of the bond. He can feel me but I can't feel him.
"I wanted to ask you to be my maid of honor."
Hestia said suddenly. I tore my gaze from Landon and to my sister who had a faint pink blush spread along her cheeks. Her pink, manicured fingers fiddling together in nervousness. She stared at me; hopeful and glowing. As the tears I tried so hard to maintain finally broke through their barriers, I could only manage a wretched sob.
"I-I-"
I stuttered, not knowing what to say. I couldn't muster up a proper response. An immediate frown settled on Hestia's face when she caught on my hesitance. Her eyes betrayed nothing of the disappointment and confusion she felt. She expected a different response from what I was giving her. Probably to jump at the news and shower her with kisses and words of affection like my parents did.
"Hestia, darling. Can you and your mother please get her some water and maybe a wet towel? It seems as though Selene needs to take a breather. I guess the excitement and shock of the wedding stunned her."
Hestia and my mother immediately shot out of their seats to make a beeline to the kitchen. I could only look at Landon and my father who stared at us with confusion. His suspicion grew very quickly.
"Landon, you can't-"
"Beta Benicio, please escort Selene to my office."
Father looked between Landon and I before nodding solemnly and pursing his lips. With a curt dip of his head, he turned to me and gestured me to follow him but not before shooting a glare my way.
What have you done, Selene?
I didn't answer the question he asked through our mind link. I knew my father was assuming I did some horrid thing that caused Landon to be upset with me.
"Of course, Alpha."
Alpha?
Why was my father calling him his future title?
His birth right hasn't been passed down to him yet. We didn't even have the Alpha ceremony planned out. Landon wouldn't be able to take the position without his Luna already marked, mated and finally, sworn into oath. It was the conditions the first Nightwake Alpha set.
Landon nudged his head to the side where the exit was and I found myself standing up to follow my father out. He said nothing to me as I walked passed him and to the direction of the Alpha's mansion where the office would be. It was only when I had both feet out the door did I hear Landon's voice again. Even though I knew what was happening, I couldn't help but look over my shoulder to see him talking to Hestia who had a glass of water in hand.
As if sensing my gaze, Landon looked in my direction and locked eyes with me. His hard, steely gaze giving nothing away as Hestia looked over him to find me. Not being able to stomach how perfect they look together, I turned away and focused my eyes on the ground.
We walked up the steps of the porch, my father opening the door for me while I walked in awkwardly. This was the first time I ever stepped inside the Alpha's home. Alpha Harrison never really permitted anyone outside his family or high ranks inside. Seeing as the Alpha and Luna loved Hestia like a daughter and that she was Landon's best friend, she had been here countless times before.
"Go up the stairs and make a right. You'll see the Alpha's office. Go in, sit down and don't move until he comes in."
I was about to ask him about the whole "Alpha" title, but he never gave me a chance to ask when he abruptly turned on his heel and walked back out.
I swallowed nervously, craning my head to the wooden stairs before approaching it like it was made out of fire. The creaking under my feet each step I took did nothing to calm my nerves. I was scared shitless.
Once I reached the top of the stairs, I looked to the right and saw that the first door there led to the Alpha's office. If the golden nameplate reading "ALPHA HARRISON" wasn't an obvious indicator then the large, Nightwake Pack symbol of an arrow shooting through the crescent moon in black ink on the top half of the door just below the nameplate, was.
I walked toward it, raised my knuckles to the wood and knocked on the door. A few seconds went by and I didn't get a response. I didn't really expect to seeing as the Alpha was apparently away for business, but I couldn't help but feel my heart beating out of my chest. I decided to wait a few more seconds before warily turning the doorknob and pulling it open. I stuck my head in.
Empty.
Furnished with a large mahogany table dead set in the center with a black leather executive chair, the room was quite spacious but at the same time, bare. Just a few feet from the Alpha's desk was a coffee table with four black singular club chairs; two on each opposite side. I chewed on my lip.
A few photos were hung on the walls.
I walked by them, taking my time to observe each captured moment.
The first one I saw was of a younger version of Alpha Harrison and Luna Allison standing beside one another with smiles stretched across their faces. Luna Allison had her hands full with a baby Landon no older than a few months showcasing a head full of chocolate brown curls and his vibrant green eyes with a toothy grin plastered on his face.
I felt a small smile curl at my lips at the sight.
I walked further in, seeing Landon's milestones framed on the walls. It was all displayed from his first birthday to graduating high school. The smile that stuck on my face fell a little when I saw the most recent additions.
Landon stood behind Hestia with an arm around her shoulders. He had a warm smile on his face mirroring the same expression Hestia had. Alpha Harrison and Luna Allison stood beside them looking just as content. I could barely remember when this was taken. If I had to guess, it was probably last year around the same time of the annual Gala. Alpha's were expected to bring along their mate's and children at the event. Naturally, the Alpha's children were permitted to bring their own mates.
Landon had asked Hestia to go with him to which she agreed.
I still remember how happy Hestia was. The moment she stepped foot at home, she started freaking out about what to wear and how she was so excited. It was only then that I truly realized just how deep her affection was for him. I was a bit worried, seeing as what the significance of bringing her along to the Gala meant, but nothing in their relationship seemed to change, so I passed it off as just a platonic outing. Probably so he wouldn't be bored the entire night.
Now however, I see how wrong I was.
"Selene."
I whipped my head around, instantly locking eyes with green hues.
I felt the air get knocked out of me just from seeing him stand there. In all his glory, he stood tall with his lean, slightly built body tense from emotion. I straightened up. As awkward and horrible as I felt right now, I knew it was better to at least try to act somewhat composed instead of acting like a blubbering fool.
"We need to talk."
I could only nod. All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind but not one included the possible chance of rejection. Landon sucked in a heavy breath, moving to the side of the door to which Hestia, my mother and father emerged from. My eyes widened. I immediately sought after Landon's gaze to silently question him but his focus was on Hestia who slipped her hand in his as she stared at me guiltily. She bit her bottom lip, eyes staring hard into the floor.
Mother and father both had grim, serious faces as they stared at me with... contempt?
Finally, Landon lifted his gaze from Hestia and looked at me. I could see his jaw twitch, muscles taut as his grip on Hestia's hand tightened.
The tighter he held onto her, the tighter my chest felt.
"This isn't going to work."
He said suddenly.
So softly but the sting it accompanied felt like I was slapped.
The world was slowly falling away from me but I kept my eyes trained on him. I didn't dare look away even with the impending pain puncturing through my chest. I felt myself swallow, as I breathed in shakily. The tears that were once again building up, glazing over my eyes.
"I won't accept you, Selene."
He said. Much stronger and full of conviction this time.
"I never will."
***